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Birth Date: 2001-09-21
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Date: December 26, 2022
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To get away from FIL because husband refuses to make him leave
my other best friend was hooking up with me
No, he raped you. And sadly, he probably stopped because you woke u2
So “all of her surgeries” is now a single surgery? Okay..lol
He says he’s open to getting back together but he needs time and space to figure out if he can trust me. We are meeting for brunch next weekend to discuss the situation and I know I will not cheat again. I just want to know how to convey it to him. I hope that clarifies
I appreciate the advice others have left but this just feels like victim blaming
This is a very sticky situation. Your husband was already very insecure before and now, it has just shot through the roof. It’s nice that you supported him in the incident but his insides are in turmoil.
I get what you’re feeling but he is probably feeling 20x worse. He’s probably felt and thought the same things as you.. Not trying to be funny here but he probably feels extremely small, weak, and pathetic right now. He actually probably already knows you feel this way too and it’s probably what’s making him feel worse.
Guys ego and feelings are just as sensitive as girls, especially when it comes to size, strength, and public displays of humiliation. The best thing you could do for him right now is to just be there for him. If the roles were reversed and you got publicly humiliated by a girl that was prettier or skinnier than you, how would you want to be comforted?
Be sure that he knows that you love him regardless. Remember, there is always going to be someone stronger, prettier, and better than you out there. You got to be happy with how far you’ve come now. If it makes you feel any better, if Jack is on drugs, his size right now is only temporary whereas Shane, who hasn’t taken any drugs, will keep his muscles and fitness. Drugs, like steroids, also shrink other vital appendages on men (I can personally attest to this). Shane is able to work out and be fit without the additional cheat of drugs and THAT is something to be proud of.
My boyfriend is also my height of 5”4. Even though he is small, I have no doubt he could protect me. He works out a lot and is really good at wrestling. Size isn’t everything. I’ve seen my boyfriend put down men over 6 feet. I wish you guys luck!
That child was not given a father because of the father. Even if that was a stipulation the mom had for reconciliation, the father agreed to it. No one can be forced to not be a dad if they choose to be. He had the choice to leave his wife and father his affair baby. He chose not to.
He paid a lump sum. If the AP didn’t file child support, that’s on her.
OP had every single right to not want anything to do with his half sibling from dads affair. Mom has every right to not want anything to do with her.
Never trust an ex. Also never trust someone that gets upset over a normal boundary like spending the night with an ex while in a relationship. Because of his response you should worry. He completely disregarded you and gaslit you. Now one of you is a side piece.
I do get that. But it’s hard for anyone to wrap their head around this level of pathology. Is that the one and only question they shouldn’t ask? I’m guessing there’s a lot that would bring on a strong reaction. I strongly recommend that she gets therapy.
Why don’t you both work part time? So you can both contribute to the household while being available for the kids a few days a week.
You’re right and I have considered moving closer but financially I’d have less money for other things , plus I financially support my mother who is disabled / chronic illnesses and can’t work with her rent so I’d be paying some of her rent plus mine, plus my bills etc which means id have a lot less for other things that I can do now. We talked about marriage and getting engaged sometime this year so I was kind of waiting it out.
he could get an airbnb, its expensive though with tickets, booking a hotel and then spending money he’d end up spending like £200 just for a weekend as he works on-site. I work remotely so I just take my laptop and work from there and get to go for like two weeks at a time.
It does feel one sided and I did put up with it for a while… I guess I was so attached and naive and tried to be understanding and making it easier for us, but it feels like I’m the only one holding us together. So to be honest, I don’t know why I’m putting up with it. I think I’m finally sick of it being one sided.
He may have misophonia. My partner does and it has caused quite a lot of tension of the years but I just try not to eat around them now, if I’m eating on my own – if we’re both eating at the same time it’s not an issue as they don’t focus on the noise of my eating. It has been quite stressful at times for me, to be honest.
Not drinking around them would be totally unsustainable, though. Ultimately it is their problem so I would be inclined to say they should seek out therapy/CBT to help with it, and the onus should really be on them to remove themselves from the situation if they get triggered by you eating – eating and drinking is a key part of being alive after all, and it’s not something you should really have to worry about.
Well, then, I guess he gets to do whatever he wants.
If you want an instant hit yeah.
I feel like this is a writing prompt. Everyone’s characterizations are unrealistic.
Imagine setting up a recorder or staying with someone?
Tell her No. For one thing, this is exactly why there are affordable hotels near airports.
Also, keep in mind she is not asking YOU for a favor – she is asking your parents. It's their home, and if she wants a favor from them, she can ask them directly. If she does ask, she also offers to strip and wash the sheets, maybe cook everyone breakfast (and clean up) the next day – something to show her appreciation.
Regardless, this is a big ask and personally I wouldn't impose this kind of inconvenience on anyone.
Your girlfriend sounds (from your other comments as well) a bit entitled and pushy.
You were trying to make plans with your friends and wanted her to join and get to know them.
She said no. She prioritized the limited days off she has to do what she wanted with her friend.
I understand why that would upset you. How she dismissed something important to you.
I don’t think you’re controlling, based on the narrative you gave, and you are allowed to feel upset about it.
However. You should definitely be able to understand why she did what she did.
Maybe now would be a good time to think about moving closer to your kids. They bring you love and joy. Chalk this up as a rebound, his loss. Good luck.
Why would I go to his house? I don't want to be over there with her and her kid.