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AndiAmor Public Chat Channel
Date: October 31, 2022
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AndiAmor Public Chat Channel
He said he doesn't know if she lied or not. He needs to ask her about the money.
So don’t propose. Change the date, take more time. See how she reacts when nothing happens in a week.
If she wants the guy to be the atm, she better be the good maker and cleaner.
Traditional values go both ways.
Damn, I’m sorry, that sucks. Honestly in my opinion I think you should tell him he is being lazy in the bedroom and you are tired of it. You deserve the sex you want and you shouldn’t be afraid to demand it. Do you really want to spend years with a man who isn’t willing to fuck you the way you want to be fucked?
That said, I’m not telling you to breakup with him right away. Give him it as an ultimatum, he either eats and fucks you or there will be no sex. If he is so selfish and stubborn that he accepts no sex then it’s time to leave him in my opinion.
Damn, I’m sorry, that sucks. Honestly in my opinion I think you should tell him he is being lazy in the bedroom and you are tired of it. You deserve the sex you want and you shouldn’t be afraid to demand it. Do you really want to spend years with a man who isn’t willing to fuck you the way you want to be fucked?
That said, I’m not telling you to breakup with him right away. Give him it as an ultimatum, he either eats and fucks you or there will be no sex. If he is so selfish and stubborn that he accepts no sex then it’s time to leave him in my opinion.
have you had good luck finding men who don’t watch porn? I imagine it’s not an easy search
Well give her the option to do what she wants
Updateme!
It sounds like your closest relationships are all with mentally ill persons. I’m sorry you haven’t yet found someone who supports you unconditionally. Find a mental health care supports and keep looking for those people who can!
It’s not illegal in my country. I’m from Europe.
We broke up. She said her mental health was struggling and she couldn’t work on herself while being in a relationship, because she couldn’t put the energy into the relationship. It’s just so harsh when I see her developing these close relationships with other people. She refused to get therapy because she said she wasn’t ready and wouldn’t do couples therapy.
I don’t feel like she tried at all.. I just feel so broken and unloved. She told me I was her safe space this week, that she wasn’t taking space to break up. She said she still loves me and still wants to marry me?? I don’t even understand how she could say that to me. She said even if we took a break she wouldn’t know how long she needed and it wouldn’t be fair on me.
So she probably accidentally called the wrong number for 3 seconds over a year ago and you shot yourself in the foot.
I'm with her. This is over. If you go this crazy over one accidental 3 second call a year ago, then you can't be a good partner.
No one here is going to agree with how far you're going. This isn't a validation sub. This is an advice sub, and the advice is to realize you're in the wrong, ask for forgiveness, and get therapy.
If you're lucky she won't leave.
This because I just don’t believe him in all honesty. It sound like he is taking advantage of you knowingly and blaming it on you.
How would they date outside of their community if they were honest upfront and say “I want to date you but we won't have a future together” ? That's a straight no from the girl unless there's something I don't see.
Are they in the same city? Graduations are usually in the day and her concerts are in the evening.
I get what other people are saying. Yeah graduations are boring but that doesnt discount your disappointment that she wont be there lol
My advice is to keep it casual and light-hearted. Don't put too much pressure on yourself to make a move or say how you feel. Instead, focus on having a good time and getting to know each other better. Ask him questions about himself and his interests and be sure to laugh and share stories. If you feel comfortable, you can subtly flirt with him and see how he reacts. If he responds positively, then you can take it as a sign that he's interested in you. If he seems hesitant or uninterested, then it's best to back off and remain friends. Have fun and enjoy the moment!
His mom is right, you are too young for him, but more he is too old for you!
Sounds like you're not with someone you should be with. You're wasting your life right now. I feel bad for you.
He is not your friend. So you need to remove him from your life.
It sounds like he is being controlling, and is trying to isolate her by being rude to people who care for her, these are traits of an abusive person.
Don't let him push you out of your mother's life.
Calling you an alpha female is bullshit, he doesn't like that you stand up to him. Don't apologize for calling him out, his behavior is atrocious, and should be commented on.
You can’t see all your finances, so I couldn’t actually tell you what is financially fair. I can just tell you my husband (together 8 years, married for 2)and I consider gas as joint, but the coffee/snacks from the gas station isn’t. That said, we merged everything once we got married.
Yeah I am 29 and lived with a 22 year old and often times during the day found myself going
what the fuck
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I’m still pissed and I don’t know how I can suck him off again.
Don't.
A blow job isn't a right, and if he's going to pull crap like that, then he doesn't get a blow job.
Just be prepared for lots of horrible sulks and arguments because he doesn't get to do to you things you explicitly don't want him to.
Chlamydia can take up to 5 years to show up after an infection.
As much as I love her I don't think I see myself in a relationship like this for the rest of my life. I want to bring it up but I'm not sure how to go about it without it sounding like I'm trying to force her into having sex with me, or appear like I'm threatening to leave if she doesn't.
Break up. I know that's cliché for Reddit, but break up.
You are fully within your right to be frustrated if you're not getting as much physical intimacy as you'd like in a relationship. But she's also absolute within her right to take things at her own pace because she's dealing with trauma.
You literally said you don't want to do this for the rest of your life, and you don't want it to sound like you're forcing her or threatening to leave.. but you kind of are telling her that you're going to leave if she doesn't fulfill your physical needs.
If you can't accept her for where she is right now, and you aren't having your needs met, then this isn't the right relationship for you.
I think the laughter was a “well…. Yeah, duh” kind of laugh. You know, when someone says something ridiculously obvious like saying they have finally realized a thing they do at least multiple times a week maybe daily for the past 8+ years is a thing. You do tend to laugh.
It’s like if the most self-absorbed person you know (we all know the one) suddenly said “I’m a narcissist”… it’s almost like a mixture of shock and exasperation, because how could it take someone so long to notice something so obvious?
You seem selfish.
If she wants marriage, and you don't, let her go while she is young and can find someone more suitable to her needs.
I’m also small cheated. Most men love boobs and they don’t care what size they are. I suggest getting a boob reduction and dropping your bf.
The sad fact is that I was her friend when everybody ditched her and hated her behind her back. But sadly the world is cruel. Thanks for the advice. I'll move on
This is sort of what I’m wondering…I don’t go on instagram but as long as someone isn’t ogling their friends or being creepy towards ppl who are just living their life while looking attractive, I don’t see how this isn’t on some level a form of porn? And idc about (most) porn. Like are these images of women and profiles of women posing provocatively? But I also don’t know much about instagram so maybe that’s what I’m missing.
He's in love with you.
Moving forward doesn’t have to mean moving forward with him. I hope these conversations are putting your and your children’s future in perspective for you. Do you really want your children to continue growing up with those influences ? If you want to continue this relationship then take up his offer on therapy on the condition that he joins you.
I think it's not outside of the realm of possibility that she didn't notice. I personally can get engrossed in what I'm talking about that I often forget my surroundings or at least, don't notice them (I have ADHD.) If this is something you do, she may not have noticed or subconsciously thought it was you.
Thing is, I personally don't sit close to practical strangers to where they can touch me so… I find it hard to believe she wasn't leaning into flirting.
At the end of the day, it's up to whether you trust her side of things or not.
It's not normal at all it's fucking weird.
Lol yes they are. Did you even read this post ?
Maybe she’s never done it before and needs more guidance. Never going to know unless you ask. Start with: have you ever given a blow job? No. Would you like to try? Yes. Did you like it, and if so, would you want to try with me?
Thanks bro, I appreciate it. Good advice man
Why is leaving off the table ?
The intervention is you kicking his a*s out or packing your bags and leaving. There is no coming back from that kind of abuse and disrespect.
But you are supposed to be in an adult relationship with HIM. You are in a relationship with his kids.
Good luck
It sounds like she was in an abusive relationship and he asked her to do this for him and she did. This doesn't excuse her behavior. I'm just trying to provide nuance. I'm not sure I could ever trust my roommate though if they did something like that, and personally I'd be looking to move out.
Sounds like he finally got what he wanted after waiting 7 years to hook up with you. He's on to someone else now.
That’s not exactly a come on. And you think she’s staring at you but you know you could be wrong? Let it go.
Nothing gross about it. I wash my bedsheets and clothes regularly, and I shower daily.
I just don’t obsess over microbes.
He needs to run, not try to save this marriage.
Sounds like she's more likely to kill him than die on any hill herself.
OP needs to run, far and fast.
also my boyfriend hates this guy because he feels threatened by him
I wonder why…
To summarise: there is a guy youre close with who you are bot platonic friends with, since you find him hot and want to sleep with him. And when you drink you end up kissing him. Question for you to reflect on: what wouldve happened, had this guy not told you to stop?
A lot of the times people feel threatened in their relationships by other people, because their partner gives them a reason that doesnt allow them to feel fully secure. Something to think about.
At the end of the day, its up for your bf to decide whether he thinks you cheated (=broke his trust) or not.
You started as the side dude, you're still the side dude.
“Do I end it?”. You’re a fool if you stay. He got caught and didn’t care until she left. Have some self respect for yourself and end the marriage. Get therapy if you want but I don’t see why you’d want to stay after such a massive betrayal
Do not do this again. This is assault. Your boyfriend didn’t take it badly but unless you have explicit permission, you have absolutely no business stopping anyone from pulling out.
This guy is totally gas-lighting you. 100% he was outside getting high.
Context for the break up?
One thing you have to remember is that sexuality is a spectrum. I’ve known many people who identify as bisexual but emphasize that they tend to lean towards one specific gender more than the other. Her saying that she’s not really into dicks, or pointing out her ideal future is being married to a woman, while hurtful to you, is a pretty sure sign that she tends to lean more towards women when it comes to relationships. Don’t think of it as you not being good enough so she flipped to women, think of it as somebody you care about getting to live their best life
I’m sorry, you are not a minor. Your boyfriend is not your father. He has no authority to tell you you’re “not allowed” to do something and the fact he’s doing that and you’re allowing it to happen does not bode well.
You have good reason to be concerned, and he should work to keep everything above board if it's that way. You need to quell overreach in the jealous department. It seems like the therapist suggestion backfired, and instead of adding spice, it threw cold water on the relationship and ended up sewing distrust into the relationship. I think all this should be surfaced with the therapist. I wish you the best.
Why would you not address it at all? Of course you address it and find out why. If you do nothing and it evolves then you’ve played a part in the infidelity by saying nothing.
I just can’t understand all these posts I read where y’all ask “should I talk to my spouse about this infidelity?” It doesn’t matter how you found out. It matters that you did. You’ve discovered she’s been unfaithful and the messages that you do have access to it doesn’t seem they’ve met, made plans to etc. However as you said there are many other apps they probably use that have much more detail about their relationship. Whether it’s detailed sexting, sending nudes or talking about trying to meet etc. What you found is mild compared to what actually may be taking place in other apps.
You deserve the whole truth and she needs to know you’ve discovered her infidelity. This is an emotional affair at the least. You need to know when it started, how it started and why. Is there something she needs you haven’t given that he does or is this just for fun because it’s taboo? Either way she needs to be confronted over this possible marriage ending behavior. She needs to know how this has affected you.
do you think i would resent her for the rest of my life?
If every woman simply moved on when a guy acted this way, disrespectful behaviour wouldn’t be so prevalent. It doesn’t matter if he’s funny and charming. He doesn’t care what you say or what you want. He only cares about what HE wants, accept that as truth.
Well, how long has it been? And if she is breaking up with you why would you want to be with someone who doesn't want you?
Well, how long has it been? And if she is breaking up with you why would you want to be with someone who doesn't want you?
Think of it this way… You were right. Your intuition told you something was between them. Learn to trust your gut in the future but hold your head up high… You were fucking right!
It isn’t that easy because we have a collaboration going.
There are post menopausal changes that occur that can make sex difficult and painful. I don't think there are any magic or quick changes but she should keep working with her Doctor. Would it be useful for you to attend an appointment with her? It might be useful for you to hear and discuss the situation with her Doctor too?
Has she considered oral sex or other options from time to time? Would she get aroused and be more interested if there was plenty of intimacy and foreplay before launching directly into the actual sex?
He's been clear that he won't date you. Hooking up with someone who works under you is a big mistake in some companies. He could get fired. You both could get fired. It sounds like he's thinking about that with his big brain. His little brain wants to fuck you. But you're not his girlfriend nor will he 'girlfriend' you up.
This is an amazing advice dude.
Physically and mentally im not ready yet and don't have any coping plans if somehow she just downright rejects me or probably block my instagram lol.
However i do plan to let her know about how i feel maybe in a month or two and since we barely know anything about ourselves as a person, i honestly don't expect her to agree to relationship (i wont ask for one or should i?).
I just felt like I wanna give us some time to know each other better. I have never been in a relationship so i might be bad at it, texting and being cringey all that. It might be better for us to stay close friends for the moment even after i let her know that i have this huge crush on her. Should i let her know about my intentions? Honestly if she wants a relationship i would probably roll with it but honestly I won't be asking for one.