So, someone suggested therapy, which I would absolutely love, however it's not something we can afford rn. I'm going to talk to him shortly, starting with an apology and explanation on what I meant by saying “as a husband “. I really should've said “as a couple we should be able to…”. Hopefully everything goes smoothly from there and I can understand why he said the wife thing and what he meant by it. Thanks for the advice everyone x
It is a cultural thing. My husband is African and has paid what we call black tax for years. Has family of allowances, paid college tuition etc.
If you aren’t comfortable with it you need to break up with her. She will continue to be resentful thinking you’re being selfish. If you get married you know what she’ll do with your money.
I’m mid 30s. There’s no fucking way I’m paying some 20 year old to hear their thoughts on life. If anything they would have to pay me, and even then I’d probably pass.
It's about once or twice a month, so not a daily chore by any means. It's tolerable. I think what doesn't feel tolerable is that he won't allow me to have a difference of opinion on things like this, especially not in front of the kids.
Usually when someone goes no contact with their parents it is for a damn good reason. Parents have to do a lot of horrible things before we, their children, are ready to push back against every instinct we have and the love for them that we were born with, and stop contacting them.
That’s all. But to reiterate, you should be feeling awful. Leave him alone. And apologize like your life depends on it when and if he’s ready to talk to you again.
So, someone suggested therapy, which I would absolutely love, however it's not something we can afford rn. I'm going to talk to him shortly, starting with an apology and explanation on what I meant by saying “as a husband “. I really should've said “as a couple we should be able to…”. Hopefully everything goes smoothly from there and I can understand why he said the wife thing and what he meant by it. Thanks for the advice everyone x
this is just one of the many bumps in life that you will experience. In a few days time, it will not be so difficult.
thanks. this was actually very helpful.
You think he’s bad now?!? What until y’all move to FL or TN. He’ll be a Klan member in no time. Dump him.
It is a cultural thing. My husband is African and has paid what we call black tax for years. Has family of allowances, paid college tuition etc.
If you aren’t comfortable with it you need to break up with her. She will continue to be resentful thinking you’re being selfish. If you get married you know what she’ll do with your money.
I’m mid 30s. There’s no fucking way I’m paying some 20 year old to hear their thoughts on life. If anything they would have to pay me, and even then I’d probably pass.
Yes it’s the end. She has lied to you from the beginning. Get a lawyer and start the process.
Lmao WHAT
It's about once or twice a month, so not a daily chore by any means. It's tolerable. I think what doesn't feel tolerable is that he won't allow me to have a difference of opinion on things like this, especially not in front of the kids.
You should feel horrible, to be honest.
Usually when someone goes no contact with their parents it is for a damn good reason. Parents have to do a lot of horrible things before we, their children, are ready to push back against every instinct we have and the love for them that we were born with, and stop contacting them.
That’s all. But to reiterate, you should be feeling awful. Leave him alone. And apologize like your life depends on it when and if he’s ready to talk to you again.
Thank you very much!
OP thinks the wedding day will be the most challenging situation. Try the next 25 years.
Yeah wait til they have to set boundaries regarding grand kids.
Seriously, OP needs to enforce this boundary or the wedding is off.
Anyone who makes fun of someone else’s appearance is not worth your time or energy.
why is OP getting so downvoted, damn, his feelings are so valid and I would feel weird about this too as a girl