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Date: October 6, 2022
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Because that's what abusers do. They're not abusive form the start, because then the other person would immediately nope out. They wait until you're too deep in. Which can take months, even years. Often this starts after marrying, having a child, moving together, etc.
You've been blessed by getting to know his abusive side early on. Don't disregard this blessing and gtfo.
Base part of a relationship is making time for each other, if that’s not even there, it’s not a relationship. I’ve been through similar, it sucks, best to call it out, and if there’s no change, move on.
Actually he comes from a very loving family. I admit that I envy him sometimes when his parents tell him how much they love him and miss him while my parents never do that… My in laws don't mind sharing their feelings in front of people especially my father in law. He is the most romantic man I've ever seen and he is in his seventies by the way.
He'll keep cheating and lying about it. Get a copy of the photos and get a smart divorce attorney. If you dont leave you will wonder at every work trip if he is cheating. The stress of that alone is no way to live.
It sounds like he's got a genuine psychological issue TBH. That's a pretty extreme lack of boundaries.
I'm also wondering how you came to know this information. I'm assuming he told you since these are his thoughts we're talking about. Did he tell you because he recognizes an issue and wants help? Because I can't think of any other reason for him to disclose something like that except to hurt you.
First off pack up your kids and take off. File a police report for the abuse if she ever touched you again and never lift that restraining order. She can go to jail just for calling you while that is in effect.
Dude, for your own safety and mental health. Leave. Hire a lawyer and take those kids with her. Aggressively pursue for full custody and document any bruises, cuts she leaves on you as proof of her abuse.
Block her and never move back in with her again. Don't do back to abusive situations. Get your one place and get your life back together. Focus on yourself and healing from her abuse.
If you're on the pill and the condom both the chances of getting pregnant are very slim, which she said she was on.
In this case 'my colleagues told me she is trying to baby trap me' is very compelling because it was true. But think about it, in a normal relationship, saying 'I take the word of colleagues who have never meet her over the word of my partner' isn't very sound or reasonable.
Most people go into relationships trusting their partner and listening to her. He did that, he trusted she wouldn't lie to him about birth control. It's unfortunate in this case but it seems pretty normal to me?
No, trans man means they were a female at birth, transitioning to a male. What you're thinking of is a trans woman.
Well… generally if two people are married the savings are viewed as theirs, so it would be reasonable for her to be able to use some of it.
No. Harsh maybe. But honest. I would dump this guy. Yore exhausted and not happy . Why waste your time.
I had to double check your ages because this is some high school BS. Good riddance.
Stop talking to your parents about your plans. Go into passive noncommittal mode and make your own arrangements. Take yourself to away to college. You Do Not Need Her Permission!! If she has concers for your soul, speak her langauge back to her – tell her that God has got you under his wing and she needs to Trust Him to take care of you. Repeat it as often as she needs to hear it until you are clear of the house an on your own at school. Then put your phone in a drawer and get a new one to carry around. Pull it out and call her just often enough to keep her from showing up at the campus.
Time to move on and ghost all of them. They are all Complicit garbage. They clearly do not care at all about you. Start finding new friends and then once you have some, just disappear. Don’t block them on anything, just never respond to any of them again. But make sure to over post any successes you have.
It can be about the lying, not the sex mods, or you just don't think you can ever be comfortable with him doing this stuff. He shouldn't lie, but if he was truthful what would your reaction be?
Game mods are just porn, but its like really embarrassing porn because it feels silly. All I am saying is that you can't expect him to be truthful if he knows you won't accept him for it.
We have a system installed that handles lawncare.
You need to do a full hard stop. Sit down with him and tell him he needs to pull his weight when it comes to household chores
Him complaining about a coffee cup is stupid. When he does no housework, tell him if he pulls that crsp again them you'll 6 on strike
I don't know, sounds kinda like a way to spend the rest of your life trying to bottle lightning.
You get over this by breaking up with your uninterested soon to be ex boyfriend and quickly finding a new guy who can’t keep his hands off you.
Thank you. I think maybe I am looking back, and reading the obit about how he was a kind and loving soul and it feels like I somehow missed that.
Good point, should I bring it up again?
Girl no. Why does she need another post dedicated to her? Take everyone’s advice from the last post and DUMP HER.
Stop enabling such bullsh*t
Just that it’s a friend of theirs and they just broke up. So now he’s showing up with a new girl right after..
Just that it’s a friend of theirs and they just broke up. So now he’s showing up with a new girl right after..
[flushing noises]
Don’t cave in if you’re not a billion percent sure. Someone will have to pay this mistake, eventually, so trust your gut on this. If you don’t feel like having a second child, then chances are you shouldn’t.
This is not really something you can compromise on and, in all honesty, you shouldn’t. Or, at the very least, you shouldn’t be expected to do so.
Give her space, let her figure out what she wants, and accept whatever decision she makes.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
My husband and I visited my MIL house for dinner, as we usually do, and after dinner an old neighbor of hers stopped by her house.
I introduced myself and she sat in the empty chair by my husband. Initially, she asked me if I wanted to switch seats but I let her know it was no problem. We were a group of 6 (all family and her) and during their conversation she kept touching my husband's arm and grabbing him. My MIL, who she knew, was sitting right next to her. She did not grab my MIL's arm but kept grabbing and touching my husbands arm. This didn't really bother me as I thought maybe she unconciously does this to people, who knows. I'm not really a touchy person.
At the end she was leaving and asked for my husbands number and they exchanged numbers. — I just want to point out, she wasn't neighbors with my MIL anymore, her ex-husband is. From what I heard of her she went through a nasty divorce and at one point her ex-husband had to call the cops on her because she hit him. She was also very beautiful and still very young (40's) and mentioned more than once she was “living her best life”. During her conversation it seemed like my husband and her had common work experience (she mentioned she has a lot of different jobs).
I confronted my husband and let him know that I felt my boundaries were crossed and if it were me, he would have thrown an actual fit. My husband is a jealous guy but I'm not friendly with other men (especially not enough to give my number out) and told him if the shoe were on the other foot he would have been pissed.
Could someone tell me I'm being ridiculous for being upset? I'm not the jealous type and I don't feel like I was at first. But I did feel like some boundaries were crossed and I was pretty shocked at her actions as this was my first time meeting her, I felt disrespected by her as well.
How should I navigate my feelings in this situation?
Since always.
That’s rude. so he’s just not attracted/interested in me. Noted
Kind of figured. I think you have some feelings and he does not. Probably need to let it go.
I’d feel betrayed, neglected and that you were emotionally cheating despite how you spin it. You’re clearly more invested in spending time with one women over the other.
Don’t do it. He is a potential abuser, they tend to get worse after marriage
I get it. You’re just wrong.
He had no obligation to tell her on any particular timeline about a possibility just because they were dating. There is absolutely nothing dishonest about that. He doesn’t need an excuse. There was no jeopardy for her in any way. And he did tell her. Before the baby was born. And then respected her decision.
As I’ve said repeatedly. She had every right to end things if she didn’t like that he didn’t tell her sooner. That doesn’t mean he had any obligation to tell her on anything but his own timeline.
The fact that you imagine a problem here is just a symptom of your entitlement. Have a great day.