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ALANA-SEXYHOT25 Public Chat Channel
Date: November 4, 2022
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WeekendPussy
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whats the 3 month rule?
Being vulnerable with people is a good thing and not just something that you have to do with someone that you’ve romanticized. I’m vulnerable to my 2 closest friends and will open up about deep feelings / emotions that I’m having – and neither of them are persons that I’d like to date.
Check yourself and listen to what people are really saying. Don’t let your instinct of romanticizing something make you read more into what it is.
Wonderful generous empathetic people often are at increased risk of codependent tendencies BECAUSE they empathize. What often helps someone like that is for them to recognize that empathy and accountability must happen together. Because empathy by itself often will just enable bad behavior. You need to empathize that the person may mean well, or mean no harm, and help them improve, but you also then need to hold them accountable to make improvements or let life give them consequences for when they don’t. Do google loving detachment as it is really helpful for people with big hearts that get in too deep when helping.
You can always ask her why she thinks of you that way.
“She even said they used poppers, or amyl nitrate when doing it one time. This is particularly dirty and kinky and cuts me up because I use poppers with her and thought it was our special thing every now and then.”
?You know poppers are really common in gay sex right? Like it's not even dirty or kinky, it's just part of the normal act of anal sex to loosen you up. It's so bizarre to treat this as if it was something special just between you two and not something a lot of people do.
You also keep pressuring her into doing sex acts that she clearly doesn't enjoy. She literally TOLD you that she was experimenting and didn't know how to say no to this other guy, and you're taking it as some kind of personal insult. What you should be doing is focusing on the sex you both can enjoy instead of bitterly trying to outdo some guy from her past.
Look, unless the reason for her not liking you was an obvious fault you need to fix (which it doesnt seem to be because you havent given one), there's no way this is okay. The fact is she just lost feelings and it happens. It seems to me the best thing to do is to leave the relationship in the past. That's a herculean task but it seems it's for the best.
I know you love her, but think hard on this. Ignore the fact that who you are dating is the girlfriend you love and know. Just imagine someone told you they were not attracted to you and they did not like who you are. Would you want that person. No. You only want your gf now because of that history and that past, but the fact is there's nothing more. This is a one sided relationship that she just isn't strong enough to leave and your too deluded by love to see its already gone.
I find that while you can have a certain love for people without liking them, like how you may have a type of love for all people, true love is built on the most delicate but essential of foundations. Liking the other person. Emjoying the feeling they give off to the world and other people. Your girlfriend does not have this for you amymore.
Yikes. What do you think?
Of course I still care, I'm just not sure about the social rules with the gift giving
You do understand. You are scared.
Step up to the plate.
“You miss 100% of the shots you don't take” – Wayne Gretzky
– Michael Scott
Your wife needs professional help!!!
you’re very right
Go see a therapist.
You don't deserve him. I would never leave my partner if I loved them. The only reason I would leave is abuse or something terrible like that. If they were a good person and we loved eachother or even started falling out of love or loosing attraction then we should both work on the relationship.
If you leave him make sure to tell him it's because he's too good for you and he deserves a partner who would love him no matter what.
If she isn't enthusiastically on board for therapy, it will be WOMBAT waste of money brains and time. This will not get better. Do not marry into a deadbedroom. Thank her for the good run and move on. I speak from personal experience.
Of course you have a right to your feelings, and to be upset.
I have no idea how you could approach a conversation with him without eventually telling him how you know. Because he will ask how you found out.
But certainly, you could just bring up that you know that he was sleeping with her until y’all officially started dating, and ask him why he kept saying that he was done with her when he wasn’t? That is what needs to be answered – not how you found out.