The issue I see with that framework is that follow through can't be observed until the other party calls the bluff, if it is a bluff, and even the one making the ultimatum might not know if they'd really follow through until that moment.
It's entirely possible that at the last moment, you might realize you're about to lose something good and you've just been being a stubborn ass who took their partner for granted, and you love and want to be with your partner regardless of whether or not they smoke weed on the weekends sometimes, but it's also possible that a controlling douchebag, having had their bluff called, might be too proud to admit that it was a bluff and carry through with the breakup anyway even though it isn't what they wanted.
If even the person making the ultimatum can't know which category they fall into until the last possible second, it seems like the categories themselves lose a lot of value and distinction from one another as a means to classify ultimatums.
So your FWB rapes you and you are unsure on how to handled? I hope at the very least you never see her again. You can tell her if a guy forced himself on top of her and told her to wait and it feels so good at all attempts to push him off her, she would be screaming rape, which is exactly what it is and not okay. After making sure you let her know she is now a rapist, tell her you never want to hear from her again.
So your FWB rapes you and you are unsure on how to handled? I hope at the very least you never see her again. You can tell her if a guy forced himself on top of her and told her to wait and it feels so good at all attempts to push him off her, she would be screaming rape, which is exactly what it is and not okay. After making sure you let her know she is now a rapist, tell her you never want to hear from her again.
I’m trying to understand how you consider “classy and preppy” to be “very different stylistically,” yet consider “cheerleader preppy types” a useful categorization.
Her explanation for not letting me use her phone is that there are things on her phone that she finds embarrassing and she wouldn’t want me to think less of her or mock her after seeing them.
She's cheating
3 years? And there are things on your phone that you would be embarrassed for your partner to see? Mmhm
The issue I see with that framework is that follow through can't be observed until the other party calls the bluff, if it is a bluff, and even the one making the ultimatum might not know if they'd really follow through until that moment.
It's entirely possible that at the last moment, you might realize you're about to lose something good and you've just been being a stubborn ass who took their partner for granted, and you love and want to be with your partner regardless of whether or not they smoke weed on the weekends sometimes, but it's also possible that a controlling douchebag, having had their bluff called, might be too proud to admit that it was a bluff and carry through with the breakup anyway even though it isn't what they wanted.
If even the person making the ultimatum can't know which category they fall into until the last possible second, it seems like the categories themselves lose a lot of value and distinction from one another as a means to classify ultimatums.
Why did you move in when you knew you would want pets your whole life?
I need pets, they do a TON for my mental health.
A no pets person would never be my choice for a partner. Sorry.
So your FWB rapes you and you are unsure on how to handled? I hope at the very least you never see her again. You can tell her if a guy forced himself on top of her and told her to wait and it feels so good at all attempts to push him off her, she would be screaming rape, which is exactly what it is and not okay. After making sure you let her know she is now a rapist, tell her you never want to hear from her again.
So your FWB rapes you and you are unsure on how to handled? I hope at the very least you never see her again. You can tell her if a guy forced himself on top of her and told her to wait and it feels so good at all attempts to push him off her, she would be screaming rape, which is exactly what it is and not okay. After making sure you let her know she is now a rapist, tell her you never want to hear from her again.
Girl. Fuck off.
I’m trying to understand how you consider “classy and preppy” to be “very different stylistically,” yet consider “cheerleader preppy types” a useful categorization.
I mean some people see porn as cheating…. This should’ve been a conversation had earlier.
I never said anything about him firing her but okay lol
The emotional turmoil is temporary.
This is not love by her.
She is not an angel, don't think of her that way.
Block her on your end, you need the space.
Don't go back.
Her explanation for not letting me use her phone is that there are things on her phone that she finds embarrassing and she wouldn’t want me to think less of her or mock her after seeing them.
She's cheating
3 years? And there are things on your phone that you would be embarrassed for your partner to see? Mmhm
My thoughts exactly. OP sounds like a controlling arse.