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hand bra [Multi Goal]
Date: October 20, 2022
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hand bra [Multi Goal]
Dude, they can sue you for back child support if they want too. This is stupid on so many levels. I don’t think you are stupid, but this is a stupid idea.
I don't want to be his boyfriend though. We've been through so much hes the only one i can really open up too. I just want to be friends. But i guess its over, thanks for the advice ill delete these posts now
You obviously seem to think you’re better than her so why subject her to that attitude? Break up so she can find someone less douchey.
He is pathetic because he didn't care when his wife was upset about him “new girl” but now the spot is on the other foot….
OP GET THERAPY. And accept your marriage is probably over. Maybe not till the kids leave, but if she didn't want to open the marriage, and you ignored her feelings because you wanted to wet your wick, she is mentally leaving you if not already left.
I mean the first thing that comes to my mind would be to join the group. If you become friends with the guys yourself you prob won’t feel this way. Do you play similar games?
Can you explain more about what you’re confused about?
Is there a reason to not confront her (or just break up)?
I’m having a hard time seeing how there’s any other option here.
Your mother put you in an extremely shitty situation. Frankly she is the one who should tell him.
Before your update there was a possibility that your dad knew that you are not his child and was ok with it. But the way they both reacted means he has no clue and she is pretty sure about it.
But if you or she will tell him, you might or might not lose him because he will be very hurt.
If he never learns about it – you might or might not lose him because you yourself will feel incredibly guilty.
If he learns that you are not his child and you knew about it – I am afraid you will lose him for sure.
She cheated on you and kept it secret for years. Good on her for not letting you marry to her I guess, but you spent more than half your twenties with somebody who kept such a huge deal breaker of a secret for that long.
I guess if I were in your shoes, I'd think back to the first two or three months & reflect on how I'd handle the situation back then. How do you think it would have affected your relationship if she told you a week or even a month or two after it happened? I know my own answer and I can only imagine how you are feeling. Anybody saying that it's not really a big deal is an inconsiderate asshole & I'm really sorry you're going through this.
Im 100% with you there. Like WTF? Are people that desperate to get married they would do anything and allow themselves to be humiliated just got get along?
Your boyfriend is a cheater and an idiot. Dump him.
There’s a reason he can’t date women his own age, he is a major red flag
You could stay where you are until you are ready to get married. You are right to worry about the messiness if there is a separation later. Sock away more savings year by year and then go in on the mortgage together.
Also remember that many couples start out with a “starter home,” a relatively modest one they expect to trade in on something grander down the road. If you play your cards right you could do quite well.
“he picks fights that make me emotional and then I stay silent for a day”
“He is a good communicator”
These don't add up. Dump him. Be clear it's because he sees people as less than him and so he can't try and take the win in his own head.
Does she have a therapist? Is she medicated? Or is she supposed to be medicated and not taking said medication? This could be the reason why she’s having a BP episode.
If she has none of the above you should probably get her to a doctor and a therapist asap. I was misdiagnosed as having BP, and I’m a retired nurse, but when they diagnosed me, I did A LOT of research on it. Turns out I didn’t have BPD, but she should definitely be medicated. Especially if she’s got mania with it.
Try communicating with her, but if she’s in a manic episode, that’ll be hard. Explain you love her and you want what’s best for her, and you’re there to support her. Read up on BPD, and read up on article’s as to how to support someone with BPD. These articles should be helpful with how to communicate with someone in a manic state. Unfortunately, that’s all you can do. Try to be supportive, definitely DO NOT throw the fact she’s BP in her face while arguing, or speaking to her. There’s still, unfortunately, a stigma attached to the diagnosis. Be as absolutely understanding as humanly possible. When she says you’re toxic together, ask her for specifics. Ask her how you can change your behavior to help her, etc. but don’t change your entire personality because she says she doesn’t like something. You need to be able to have your boundaries as well! Offer up couples counseling as well as individual for BOTH of you! It will help you be able to deal with the BP episodes.
I wish you luck, I hope you can get her the help she needs! I hope you’re able to salvage your relationship and you both can move forward and live your best lives!