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MIACARDONA21 Public Chat Channel
Date: October 19, 2022
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I would be super cautious about pushing him to have an answer too quickly. He's 21 after all, he isn't like to have his life straight enough to feel secure as the guy. You're young too, but as a girl you're more likely to be thinking about long term plans than he is. It's just a maturity thing. In any case, if you're talking to him, the topic of make your intentions clear is not a topic I'd push. He'll want to give you an answer on his own volition if he wants to lock you down as his alone. He'll want to feel like he's earned that right to call you his girl, and that just needs to take place after he recognizes that you are the person to build a life with.
Yes, that thing right there
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My husband and I tried to get pregnant since we got married 14 years ago to no avail. when I started nearing 40 I told him that will be frank with him. I feel too old and too tired to try more. maybe we should be enough. This was 2 years ago. I felt like something died in him after I told him that and things went south. December last year he asked for separation. He said he loved me but he wasn't happy. I was broken, we both were but life sometimes!
Anyway I thought he just wanted a break but not a week later I heard that he slept with a mutual friend of ours. I was heartbroken and called him crying and yelling. He said that we were separated
“what do you think separated means”
I cried and yelled some more and hang up. He texted me the next day asking how I was feeling. He never meant to hurt me. It just happened. Bla bla bla. I didn't answer him. I took a week sick and only my closest colleagues knew what happened because they needed to cover my work. At the Christmas party, a colleague approached me and told me he was sorry to hear the news from my closest colleagues. I ended up telling him everything and he ended up taking me home to his apartment. It was that one time. I felt embarrassed around him at work and told him it was just that time and he said he was sorry to hear that because he thought I was awesome.
Now I'm pregnant and it is his because I haven't had sex in several months before that. My first instinct is I'm keeping her (I don't know why it feels like a her). I just didn't know what to do. I told my mom who was angry and told me this wont end well. She told my husband. He showed up at my door within an hour
“So you're getting rid of it right?”
NO!? He started crying and asking how I could do this to him. Begging me to take him back. We love each other and we are meant to be together. I was right, we are enough just the two of us or maybe we can get blessed with our own baby.
“NO? Didn't you tell me you were getting old and were tired of trying and wanted us to be enough for each other?”
I don't know what he means by that. I didn't plan any of this. nobody is listening to me and everybody thinks I'm going crazy keeping a child from ONS. I contacted my colleague and told him that I was pregnant. I told him that I was contemplating keeping her and apologized to him. I told him I wasn't expecting anything from him and if he wanted me to terminate he should tell me now because I wanted to hear everyones opinion before making up my mind. We ended up sleeping together in his office and now we have been together every day in one way or another. He said he wanted to be in her life and raise her with me even if we didn't end up together.
I told this to my parents but now they are not speaking to me. none is really. and things are awkward at work. people are whispering behind my back. I dont know what to do. I'm very distraught.
The colleague she slept with also has a gf and child
I loled.
But really, some couples do fine with an 'out of sight, out of mind' policy. That's my wife's rule – I'm happy to oblige and never leave evidence. Granted, my consumption is sporadic and mostly tied to how active we've been in the bedroom recently. If homeboy is getting his rocks off every day or more, that's a different can of worms.
Can be even younger, sadly.
I know that and the other thing with him is that he has seen me at my lowest and I called him and told him that im not comfortable with him asking her out and he understood my message. but thank for your advice.
Thanks for the response, the fact that he lives multiple states away and they never see each other has me playing the situation differently than if he lived nearby. Me and her have an amazing relationship outside of this issue, so it’s not quite a dealbreaker for me at this point. But her reaction when I bring it up, has the possibility to change that too I suppose.
This other relationship would not be equal
Who calls you immature and selfish? Them? Lolol. Your decision is not immature and selfish; but people who think they are entitled without consequence are.
I'm glad MIL and SIL are stepping up. He deserves to be chewed out by everyone. He's sick. You should still divorce him. He likes sex but doesn't want the outcome of sex. He sounds like a duf tbh. Divorce him and file for child support for the two babies