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kittty-anggels chat
Date: October 17, 2022
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kittty-anggels chat
So go explore yourself and enjoy your youth. In my opinion, the only reason to stay in a relationship is because you are happy and satisfied within it. Actual problems arise in adult life. A couple of shitty things happen every year. Things won’t be perfect for long. So if you’re not satisfied within the relationship now when nothing is wrong it probably isn’t going to be good long term. Being away from your partner isn’t really supposed to make you feel anything. You’re an adult, that’s your time to handle personal matters and take care of your other relationships.
Him and I are long distance
So why are you still with him?
It may be salvageable, but not by you.
It’s very difficult to feel powerless, but the truth is that you have no control over his feelings or decisionmaking.
You can’t resolve his doubts for him.
You can’t wrestle with his depression for him.
You can’t understand his feelings for him.
You can’t make him commit to working through difficult periods in a relationship instead of bailing.
Any attempt to influence his heart will only exhaust and hurt you. Even if you did manage to convince him to come back, do you really want a partner who you have to persuade into being with you? Or do you want someone who actively chooses you every day, even when the going gets rough?
Breakups don’t happen in perfect relationships. A breakup reveals that something was already not working, and you just didn’t know it. In this case, I’d guess that the thing that wasn’t working was his inability to work through emotional low periods and doubts as a team. If you were to get back together, he would have to be willing (and able) to put in huge effort to heal those avoidant instincts, and right now he just isn’t.
People are what they do, and the only worthwhile life partner is kind who happily, enthusiastically, independently chooses you. If you have to squeeze loyalty and commitment out of someone, it’s not real.
He might regret this. Maybe this is all due to a funk he’ll emerge from one day, and he’ll see clearly how much he adores you. No one can know — not even him. But there’s nothing you can do to make that happen, so what you need to think about right now is yourself; letting go, grieving, healing, and moving on.
My husband is an immigrant. It adds a whole extra layer of complexity.
Find something that can bring you joy. My dogs have helped improve my husband’s moodiness, but they do require more work than cats, for example- and all of that falls onto me. Take walks, read- do something for you! It’s really important that you have an outlet.
I empathize with you a lot! I’m sending you all the good vibes. I hope you both can navigate a solution to these difficulties in a healthy way. I hope you can prioritize yourself sometimes, too!
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In the beginning I just want to be clear that I wash it regularly and I don’t have any infections. No bacterial vaginosis or yeast infection. He told me In this morning I smelled bad down there, that I should think about that. I preceded to tell him I wash it regularly, that this is my natural sent. He said that he is really sensitive to smells. I got really offended by his comments, considering I always upkeep a good hygiene routine for my whole body. Looking good and smelling good is my top priority. I’m that girl that can’t leave the house without my makeup and hair done. The fact that he don’t even brush his teeth regularly and he has the audacity to comment on my natural v sent makes me not want to be intimate with him anymore. Maybe i’m overreacting but it really hurt me for some reason
She's taking advantage of you and seems to feel entitled to your money. Do you really want to be with someone who places so much of the value she has in you based on how much money you have. It's frankly disgusting
You need to be honest with yourself and right now I’m not seeing that.
I responded: “I’m sorry if you’re going through things, please make me aware if you’re going through stuff, you don’t have to give me details but understand that it is hard for me to understand your behavior without context especially when I have a specific emotional need. I told you a bit earlier how we could have avoided this and even explained to you how I wish to be welcomed in these type of situations so that it gives you tricks. I doesn’t really motivate me to open up again in the future. I’m shocked with the outcome of this conversation.”
He continued being agressive and spiteful and told me again and again that he doesn’t need this in his live that he feels disrespected.
Me: me too I feel disrespected, so how are we handling this now ?
Him: i would tend to say that we’re done but I’m tired and i don’t know what to say.
Me: wow, you’re ready to be done for just that ?
Him: well last time you broke it off and I need to protect myself now
(I broke up with him two months ago as he was going through weed severance. He was smoking during the day and would wake up at night to smoke weed. He was agressive, short tempered and his weed consumption made him incredibly unstable mentally)
Me: wow ok so how are we even going to build a relationship if you are already defensive and want to break up?
Him: I don’t want to break up but I need to defend myself, I have abandonment issues and this is triggering them
Me: I’m sorry then, let’s take a few days to cool off and distance from one another.
Him: wow, ok now this is how you want to manage it… ok tell me what should I have said to appease you?
Me: are you really interested or are you just asking for the stake of asking …
Him: whatever just say it already
Me: ok based on the tips I gave you earlier can we please start over. I would really like to hear you express in a way that is appeasing to me. This would make me feel safer and it would close the conversation on a positive note. “Babe I think there was a misunderstanding. I really want to see you and I love you, but I’m having a hard day and would prefer to plan tomorrow”
Him: I won’t start this over, I’m tired and you can’t make me behave in a certain way, it’s insulting!!!!
Me, breathing heavily: im just giving you the answer as you asked.
Him: yeah but I told you that already
Me: partially and right after you go to the complete opposite direction saying that you’re fed up and are threatening me that this can’t happen every week even though it happens extremely rarely and you finish with an intention of breaking up.
Him finally saying things in the way I wanted since the beginning
Me: ok, thank you, I appreciate the way you expressed yourself now..
Him: BYE
10 mins after I receive a text message from him apologizing and wishing me a great night and a good beginning of week.
I’m 28 he is 34. We are both adults and have stressful careers …. But I feel so sad when he behaves like that. We made so much progress and 80% of our times togheter are pure bliss.
I am SOOOO CONFUSED! Please help!!!!!
If she doesn't like that you cry, then she's a heartless human. Every human cries and it is definitely okay for guys to cry.
If you doubt that your child is yours, you doubt that your partner is faithful. That’s an accusation buddy.