Yeah, I think if he has the urge to look for someone else to talk to, he’d better think of ending the relationship first before going after someone else
If it starts to become a pattern, I would take note, but right now, I would just chalk it up to insecurity on the new guy's part. People have lives of their own and not a single person is devoting much attention to couples see in a parking lot. They are thinking about something stupid they said in high school or their cat or why they overbuy at the farmer's market.
Thankfully, you have the confidence to not let his paranoia affect you. Keep an eye on other things he does or says.
I feel like people are being very harsh and are lacking any sort of sensitivity with you and for that I am very sorry. It sounds like you need (and deserve) a lot of support and care. I know the situation at hand is probably feeling very overwhelming, do you have any friends you could go hang with for a bit and just chat it through with? Take little steps to help yourself feel stronger and more capable and you’ll manage this all, you just have to keep going!! And don’t beat yourself for sometimes choosing to not deal with it. It is ok to have days where you’re just not strong enough to shoulder the whole mess. Be kind to yourself, you deserve it all and continue to expect and assert kindness for yourself and your children. ❤️ you got this. And I would NOT go to the therapist he’s chosen, I would instead do your research into potential therapists and perhaps choose one together that you BOTH feel would be good. I would also insist it’s a woman. You are strong, capable and are deserving of better behavior!!!
Apologizing doesn’t automatically mean it’s only an accident, we also do it if we have made an error. It’s not mutually exclusive.
Also, being sexually abused doesn’t mean you will never be an AH. Just like any abuse victims, you can still make mistakes (not always accidents) that are separated from your abuse. They are not mutually exclusive, life is grey areas at all times.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
A month ago we were at a party in a friends house, me (32F), my husband (50M) and my sister (34F). My sister drinks a lot and regularly gets so drunk she gets messy and needs to be brought home, tonight was no exception.
A noise woke me and I went downstairs to find them having sex on the dining room floor. My sister was still obliterated so all I could do was bring her to the couch, I told him to get out of the house. She maintains she had no memory of getting home, but I can’t believe she would do this to me no matter how drunk she was.
I can’t even look at him let alone sleep beside him and I can’t bring myself to speak to my sister. I feel I have lost everything important to me in life.
I thought my marriage was good up to this point but I cannot believe he would sleep with my sister.
I don’t know if there is any way back from this. What should I do?
TLDR; my sister slept with my husband while drunk, my life is upside down and I don’t know what to do.
There's only one question to answer: if you both are very sexual, how come she doesn't seem to enjoy sex with you while at the same time is pressuring you into getting married quickly?
What it sounds like to me is she is settling for a guy that she's not sexually attracted to in order to avoid becoming an old maid.
I lived in a house where everyone locks doors. There’s no such thing as barging in for any reason.
Can confirm not locking doors is weird and feels unsafe and not private. Id have anxiety someone would just burst in, even though I’m just browsing my phone doing nothing wrong.
He’s the same age as my dad and I’m 25. He’s old enough to be your father. OP, I’m glad your leaving because this man is a walking red flag
Oh dear! That is a huge problem.
Yeah, I think if he has the urge to look for someone else to talk to, he’d better think of ending the relationship first before going after someone else
Because it's probably fake. She told her best friend she was pregnant but failed to mention that her husband is sterile and it's from an affair
If it starts to become a pattern, I would take note, but right now, I would just chalk it up to insecurity on the new guy's part. People have lives of their own and not a single person is devoting much attention to couples see in a parking lot. They are thinking about something stupid they said in high school or their cat or why they overbuy at the farmer's market.
Thankfully, you have the confidence to not let his paranoia affect you. Keep an eye on other things he does or says.
I feel like people are being very harsh and are lacking any sort of sensitivity with you and for that I am very sorry. It sounds like you need (and deserve) a lot of support and care. I know the situation at hand is probably feeling very overwhelming, do you have any friends you could go hang with for a bit and just chat it through with? Take little steps to help yourself feel stronger and more capable and you’ll manage this all, you just have to keep going!! And don’t beat yourself for sometimes choosing to not deal with it. It is ok to have days where you’re just not strong enough to shoulder the whole mess. Be kind to yourself, you deserve it all and continue to expect and assert kindness for yourself and your children. ❤️ you got this. And I would NOT go to the therapist he’s chosen, I would instead do your research into potential therapists and perhaps choose one together that you BOTH feel would be good. I would also insist it’s a woman. You are strong, capable and are deserving of better behavior!!!
You don’t need his permission. He’s being insecure and controlling.
Apologizing doesn’t automatically mean it’s only an accident, we also do it if we have made an error. It’s not mutually exclusive.
Also, being sexually abused doesn’t mean you will never be an AH. Just like any abuse victims, you can still make mistakes (not always accidents) that are separated from your abuse. They are not mutually exclusive, life is grey areas at all times.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
A month ago we were at a party in a friends house, me (32F), my husband (50M) and my sister (34F). My sister drinks a lot and regularly gets so drunk she gets messy and needs to be brought home, tonight was no exception.
A noise woke me and I went downstairs to find them having sex on the dining room floor. My sister was still obliterated so all I could do was bring her to the couch, I told him to get out of the house. She maintains she had no memory of getting home, but I can’t believe she would do this to me no matter how drunk she was.
I can’t even look at him let alone sleep beside him and I can’t bring myself to speak to my sister. I feel I have lost everything important to me in life.
I thought my marriage was good up to this point but I cannot believe he would sleep with my sister.
I don’t know if there is any way back from this. What should I do?
TLDR; my sister slept with my husband while drunk, my life is upside down and I don’t know what to do.
There's only one question to answer: if you both are very sexual, how come she doesn't seem to enjoy sex with you while at the same time is pressuring you into getting married quickly?
What it sounds like to me is she is settling for a guy that she's not sexually attracted to in order to avoid becoming an old maid.
I lived in a house where everyone locks doors. There’s no such thing as barging in for any reason.
Can confirm not locking doors is weird and feels unsafe and not private. Id have anxiety someone would just burst in, even though I’m just browsing my phone doing nothing wrong.
A library is the least relaxing environment and they don't tend to open in the evenings in Ireland. And the weather is terrible for going to parks.