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Date: October 14, 2022
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‘Don’t say anything bad about Mary’ means don’t editorialise, not don’t tell the truth.
You can and should say ‘I didn’t come because I wasn’t invited.’ (The truth)
To avoid drama you can avoid adding ‘because Mary is a lying bitch’ (Editorialising)
if you intend to marry her, tell him this. Let him know someone is gonna do it, isnt it better that it is his best friend? dont be arrogant, apologize for not asking him first and tell him to take all the time he needs.
More like, “hey look at me I need to be your first target”.
I just want to ask, like if this were a guy doing this to a girl do you think it would be abusive? She Is mentally and physically abusing you. Hitting you, screaming at you, it's signs of abusive behavior
It sounds like this relationship has been shaky from the beginning. The two of you don't want the same thing. Do you really want to still be going through this in a year? Ten years? Trying to make your husband be faithful when that's not what he wants to be?
The only thing that's going to make this better for you is to break things off. Live your own life and grow into the person you're supposed to be, without all of this stress and drama holding you back. Think about what you wanted in life when you were a kid. Was it this?
It’s a fake post
You can be good parents without being together. Kids can see the unhappiness in their parents. From what you say, you’re only together for the kids. Do you really think their childhood would be better growing up watching parents who don’t really seem to like each other all that much? And what message does that send to them about future relationships?
yeah its not even survivorship bias.
ive met so many fucked up people that say “i was spanked as a child and i turned out alright” who did not in fact “turn out alright”
Yeah this might be the worst thing I ever done to her. The regret is eating me alive. I wish I could see her but we're currently long distance so I feel like it made our problem 10 times worse.
I thought the comments were to hurt me, but I don’t get why— I wanted him back. I made a few attempts to sit down and talk, and see if he wanted to take space or go on a few test dates. I think this was where the overlap between me and her occurred, and I don’t get if.
Everyone experiences fear and anxiety, it’s how you respond to it that matters. Taking action to protect yourself is a reasonable response to the risk of harm from a threat actor. Anxiety is the body’s way of letting us know there’s a threat. Over thinking is our way of fucking it up. Lol.
You will be better off ending it with GF and go back to looking for someone who wants a serious relationship!
I have to concur with your thoughts here. Having waivered with identities such as queer, bisexual, pansexual, sapiosexual, lesbian, I think what matters most is the soul.
When they lose themselves in fantasy is also tell tale sign.
It’s normal and healthy for middle aged people to date college aged kids ?
She invited the guy AND his gf to meet her AND you, no? That doesn’t seem shady.
It seems as if she’s just a friendly person and probably didn’t PURPOSELY ask you after him, just how the conversation went.
If you have a gut feeling something is wrong, this interaction doesn’t seem to be proof of it. I think since you guys already discussed this issue, just let it go and if anything else comes up just talk to her about it.
My Ex also started an affair and wanted to divorce as soon as I discovered it. FWIW within a year of divorcing she was asking me if we ever had a chance again. As others have said, your ex may not be the best but you are truly doing this in the most shitty way you could.
Engagement really doesn’t mean a whole lot.
You can be engaged for years and years of finances don’t pan out.
You don’t even need an expensive ring to be engaged. You can always upgrade, or re propose with a better ring down the line.
All engagement is, is a further commitment to exclusivity. Nothing means anything until it’s legal.
I really do want to greet him but I’m so tired when I wake up. He’s not gonna tell me if he’d like me to wake up or not coz he said he won’t work nightshift when we get married but some things out of his hand happened and now he still is so he’d probably feel too guilty to say he would want me to. Hence I posted this
You're both too young to stop dating others. You both will change enormously between 25 and 30.
Moving in takes you off the market. There is zero research supporting the notion that living together before marriage reduces divorce or marital issues.
In fact, it's just the opposite. Couples talk less when living together in the daily grind.
Moving in gives him the benefit of convient sex – but gives you nothing. Especially since you forfeit your social circle and family.
Woman have access to sex with high quality partners any time. Guys not so much (unless he accepts a reject).
If he's not willing to invest thousands to put a ring on your finger, he's not all that interested.
You deserve better.
I'm so sorry that you're going through this, alone, but yes, indeed keeping the baby would connect you to this horrible man forever. What a POS. Sending you a big hug and I hope you can heal from the trauma soon and go live your best life.
I mean… she might also just be trying to hurt you. I can’t imagine her keeping this to herself for 8 years. I don’t think this is about her feelings about you fainting at all. Sometimes we dig up past shit just to hurt someone else in an argument. Why are you arguing now?
On top of what u/RubberAndSteel said, start taking precautions for personal safety. Make sure you're paying attention to your surroundings, maybe keep some self defense devices with you(taser, spray, firearm, whatever you're comfortable with). If you have roommates or friendly neighbors, let them know what's going on. A paper trail for the cops is a good thing, but they still may not do anything unless A) others have reported him for the same or B) he actually harms you. Too many horror stories of women out there who reported behavior like this, cops couldn't/didn't do anything, and the women get attacked or worse.
ok i think it's a bit overly normalized in society that dangerous binge drinking is no big deal and just a fun mistake. but getting so shitfaced you pass out unconscious in the street and come to in the ER is definitely not good and when you take their alarmingly nonchalant attitude into consideration its indicative of a problematic relationship with alcohol. being a chronic drinker/alcoholic isn't the only type of destructive drinking behavior
Do not bath the cat once a week. That’s way more than recommended, and will dry out her skin.
Youre not an unreasonable asshole like the family so as usual everyone puts it on you to be the bigger person. Because husband knows they never will be its down to you to deal with it so he can ignore it.
Fuck that. Tell em they win, they can have him back.
I hope Danielle sees this post, realizes how invested you were initially and that she destroyed her chances with someone “too good to be true” due to her paranoia. Maybe that will help her straighten up her act.
You are being used and disrespected.
Then express your feelings calmly and politely in a moment that is not emotionally charged. In other words when she gets mad is not the time to address it, it will just make her more mad.
Before you play explain your feelings get hurt when shes gets angry at you and it makes playing not fun. Address what she needs to not get so mad, or why its directed at you.
Again in a setting where things arent reactive, but proactive. “I like playing with you, but it stops being fun when you get angry with me so what can we do differently to make that not happen?”
She sounds kinda immature tho so I'm not sure this mature approach will help that much. If it doesnt help then she prob needs to grow up and learn how to appropriately express negative emotions in ways that don't lash out at the nearest target (you).
yeah youre right. I've created these thought loops over such a long time, it's hard to stop but that's where discipline comes in I guess
I thought I was over at r/AmITheAsshole until I realised that this person by no means thinks there is any chance that they are, in fact, the asshole.
Despite all evidence to the contrary…
Zero tolerance for bigotry of any sort. If you stay with him you're tolerating and therefore validating and endorsing homophobia. You can be part of the problem or part of the solution, not both. Do with that what you will.
There’s no way I see this conversation going well. Honestly this would be enough for me to want to nuke the entire relationship. Anyone who thinks stripping in front of another guy is acceptable isn’t someone I would want to date. The fact it’s your friend just makes it so much worse
Me not letting my close friends see me nude has absolutely nothing to do with me not being comfortable in myself or not trusting my friends. I am in fact very comfortable with my body and i honestly couldn't care less if my friends saw me nude. But i know my girlfriend wouldn't feel comfortable if i basically stripped for a female friend. And i wouldn't feel comfortable with her basically stripping for a male friend. I would be “okay” with another girl taking the pictures, but If that isn't an option then i would MUCH prefer an ACTUAL profession that my girlfriend doesn't know beforehand.
My personal experience dictates no one. I'm giving my point of view. And my point of view is that being a mature wife should include thinking twice before taking “pornographic” pictures suggested by a “friend”
If it's easy enough, ghost that MF. You'll realize how much peace you were missing when you have it again. Peace is the ultimate luxury
You should do what makes you happiest and what feels right to you.
That being said, could you not do 2 short dances? 1 with bio dad then another with step dad
What a mind rape that is….. I would see if you have legal recourse. If not then tell everyone what a scumbag he is so be can't easily do this to anyone else
Thank you. I hoped for years that it might get better, because: maybe then things change? Maybe next year? Maybe when he is settled in his job? Maybe, maybe, maybe.. Right now i really ask myself: was i naive or just stupid for thinking that way?
It’s not uncommon for anyone, even abusive people, to be charming and delightful when everything is going their way. So it doesn’t mean much that she’s lovely the rest of the time. Pull back on any thoughts of commitment while-ever she manifests such toxic and ignorant behaviour. You’re about to lock yourself in to a life of misery if you don’t heed the warnings and take action.
I feel like he took apart every aspect of my personally and attacked it and I just wanted to shrink and disappear.
There's your answer. To me, he is the one who sounds off putting. I'll not jump to conclusions, but if does this kind of stuff really a lot, you might want to consider what's behind it. He doesn't sound like a man I would like to be in a healthy relationship with to be honest
So he should never make plans with his wife because his daughter might want to do something then? This is an insane expectation.
It does sound like a double date. What’s the actual purpose of the meeting. Why do both he and the ex have to be there?
I'm pretty sure. I know what you mean on the fantasy thing but what's been amazing with us is we always see things through. I know it sounds a bit odd but it's we'll talk about something and then just do it.
I didn't say she has to give up that boundary. I literally said if she doesn't feel any pleasure from any fingers then obviously she made the right choice. My point is if she DOES, and she can masturbate and feel good, then her boyfriend can 100% change the way he fingers her to make her feel good.