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So, what you were subconsciously trying to do was a thing referred to as “hot wifing.” Basically, you're in a threesome but it's a regular thing or you and a one-off for the other guy. You're “showing off” your possession (not saying you intentionally see her this way, just that you may subconsciously see her this way).
Only it backfired. You couldn't perform and you felt inadequate. He was the one who got to show off, not you.
I recommend at the very least solo therapy. And be honest with your girlfriend. Something along the lines of (this is how I think you feel, I may have it wrong) – “I was wrong, I don't want that, and I feel like I've hurt our relationship. I am going to go to therapy to try to fix myself.” And then be honest with her if you want to continue the relationship, put it on hold (and if she'd be ok with that), or end it.
if she wants something she comes back? Got a timeframe for that? What if she wants to know how i am after like 1 week or whatever? What do i do? Ignore her?
Are you able to get a home health aide? Is she able to help with anything at all? This isn't fair to you in the least. She may need a lot of assistance but that doesn't meant she gets to treat you like dirt.
It has me disturbed as well. There is a small element of deja vu in it from my 20s, and I know what just that fraction of it did to my psyche, so I know that OP is very much at risk here.
Are you serious you suspect I didn't ? It is a gift to be granted the ability to nurture care and look after your own children, at any point you think it is a chore or a job is the point when you should realise you are not capable of being a good responsible parent, no it is not East for anyone who is not sound of mind and capable but for anyone who actually loves there children it is only ever a rewarding experience.
It’s cheating if y’all agreed to not do that yes
Oh man run now this is such a red flag. It may be mental health issues but unless hes willing to try fix anything it will never change
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[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
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So, what you were subconsciously trying to do was a thing referred to as “hot wifing.” Basically, you're in a threesome but it's a regular thing or you and a one-off for the other guy. You're “showing off” your possession (not saying you intentionally see her this way, just that you may subconsciously see her this way).
Only it backfired. You couldn't perform and you felt inadequate. He was the one who got to show off, not you.
I recommend at the very least solo therapy. And be honest with your girlfriend. Something along the lines of (this is how I think you feel, I may have it wrong) – “I was wrong, I don't want that, and I feel like I've hurt our relationship. I am going to go to therapy to try to fix myself.” And then be honest with her if you want to continue the relationship, put it on hold (and if she'd be ok with that), or end it.
He lied because I had asked him before what debts he has and he said only the student ones, nothing else.
We live together and have been together for 5 years. No joint account. I just feel betrayed.
if she wants something she comes back? Got a timeframe for that? What if she wants to know how i am after like 1 week or whatever? What do i do? Ignore her?
Where are everyone’s parents?!
Are you able to get a home health aide? Is she able to help with anything at all? This isn't fair to you in the least. She may need a lot of assistance but that doesn't meant she gets to treat you like dirt.
It has me disturbed as well. There is a small element of deja vu in it from my 20s, and I know what just that fraction of it did to my psyche, so I know that OP is very much at risk here.
If I was your gf I would break it off.
Cut your losses and move on
Are you serious you suspect I didn't ? It is a gift to be granted the ability to nurture care and look after your own children, at any point you think it is a chore or a job is the point when you should realise you are not capable of being a good responsible parent, no it is not East for anyone who is not sound of mind and capable but for anyone who actually loves there children it is only ever a rewarding experience.