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Date: October 9, 2022
I hope your boyfriend and your friend group leave
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You sound like the thot
First off I am sorry that you have and are going through this. Second, leave her.
I'm not sure guilt is necessary here. You live far enough away that you can't just come see them/your mom whenever you wish.
Is your brother the kind of person who would tell you straight up he needs help? If not, make him take a long weekend, or a week, off by paying for the trip for him. For instance, if he likes the great outdoors, rent a nice small cabin for him in a local (or not so local) state park, so he can sit on the porch and drink his coffee, light a nice fire in the evening and bask in the glow and the warmth.
Or… Does he love being in the city? Find a nice hotel room near an event he might enjoy, like a wine tasting weekend, or some such.
Make sure he understands you're not doing this because he's not doing a good enough job. On the contrary, he's doing such a great j0b, you thought he might like to take a couple days or so to decompress.
In the middle of it all, my siblings all chipped in to give me and my family a long weekend at a local state park that hosts Bigfoot hunts, which my husband, kids and I were kind of in to. We thoroughly enjoyed it and when we came back from the weekend, I was so completely fired up and my parents LOVED hearing about the weekend, especially my dad. The kids, both boys, thought it was the best weekend they'd had in a long, long time. It was a chance for us to talk about something other than my dad dying and how hard it was on my mom.
When my dad was dying of cancer, I was the only one of my siblings and I who lived close enough to be there for them all the time, and I mean ALL the time. While I was glad to do it, there were times it got to be too much.
All of my siblings were ready to step in for a couple days at a moment's notice, if I asked. They kept me apprised of their schedules so I knew who to call when I wanted a couple days' break to spend some quality time with my kids and husband.
You shouldn't feel guilty, but do make sure your brother knows you're there for him in every sense of the word and if he ever needs you, you're there as quick as you can make it. Also, give your job a head's up this is going on and you might need to take some short notice PTO or VACA, just in case.
Have you tried dressing better? I guarantee it will improve your life
It's not that hard to find someone better than a girl who wants to go fuck other dudes
Stop letting him mentally abuse you!!
Tell him to get all the girls that want him and block!!
If it’s just a razor thing, again try waxing? I hate shaving. The feeling of the blade across my skin gives me the ick. But I do wax, not even regularly.
If I’m dating someone that prefers smooth, I will wax regularly. But that’s because I’m fairly indifferent to hair, so if he has a preference ok. It’s up to you if that’s something you’re willing to do.
Let them know you are blocking her and will not be able to monitor her threats any longer. Strongly encourage them to take the threats seriously.
Cheating is the action of having an inappropriate relationship, the gender doesn’t matter.
You wife is adamant and refusing to 'understand' and see your point because she quite likely has already taken action on the desire she is expressing, and is trying to get an agreement that it is 'not cheating' after the fact.
Cant even dodge a ball rn
How does she feel about you masterbating? I ask because I have a lower libido than my husband. I am a-ok with him doing what we refer to as “self care” if I'm not in the mood. He'll just strait up ask me if I might be interested in sex that day or soonish. If I say no, he'll just go in the other room to do his thing and I'll put on a podcast so he has some auditory privacy. We're still both satisfied with how often we have sex and we've agreed he'd always ask me first so our intimacy gets priority.
Now, that's what works for us and might not for you but the point is that you talk about your differing sexual needs and come up with a mutually agreeable solution. It might not be conventional and will probably be a compromise but that's a good thing!
What an idiot
Yes that sounds final and like yall have had a lot of issues over the years. And probably do need to do some self work to get yourself into a healthy place
I don’t think you can help him. It happens more time than you think. I grew up always being the therapy friend, or the person who helps everyone (which resulted in me forgetting about myself, but thats another story) and was constantly trying to help my friends or partners heal from trauma and fix their lives. More often than not, it doesn’t work. More often than not, they have to realize it on their own, and they have to ask for help themselves, and almost always, that help has to be from a therapist. The best you can do is try to make him realize that he needs help and that he should start going to therapy for it. I hope you guys can get out of this as a stronger couple, but what he is facing right now, he may need to face it alone. You might have to let him go so he can get on with his healing journey.
You can’t help someone who doesn’t want to help themselves.
If he insists on staying like this, then I suggest you move on. Maybe you leaving will be his wake up call.