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I don't know why but some comments I am not getting to see. Someone said emotional cheating- yes, I agree this could sadly be what is going on.
Someone else said check other socials- husband only has Reddit and nothing else. They don't text. He only talks to her at work.
I liked him immediately, it's been a year now, and he's seeming to open up a little more. I think he might have OCD in all honesty, my mother actually said he'll probably be waiting to know me a little longer to look more respectful, like he didn't just start dating me immediately after meeting me. If he does keep meeting up and it seems like it isn't going anywhere, I'll have to speak to him, but I have a feeling after last week him telling me he liked me, we're in the right direction! 🙂
As much as it hurts .Which I sure ity does and will for while.Time to say good by!!
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He’s been trying to force me to change the way I dress and the way I wear my hair,
Red flag – Controlling
He also gets mad at me for not having sex with him and will go as far as to threaten to cheat on me if I don’t put out.
Red flag – Rape
It’s even worse because I have chronic utis so it physically hurts.
Sometimes genetics can cause a person to be predisposed to UTI's.
Bidets, hypoallergenic unscented wipes, a tea with chamomile once a day at least.
Some people also allow back to front penetration. They shouldn't do that.
I don’t have a job because he doesn’t want me to,
Red Flag – he doesn't want you to because it makes you less dependent on him and less dependent means less likely to be manipulated and controlled aka financial abuse.
Anyway, two days ago he threatened to cheat on me again after I said no to having sex with him three times.
Red Flag – Rape
Insurances usually cover Plan B. If you have an insurance plan.
Keep all text between you two.
Have him admit to raping you.
Once he has admitted to raping you if you don't have anything else to worry about such as a dog go to a shelter.
If you have a dog, and it's yours and it's in your name arrange for either a friend to take it, ask the animal shelter to make arrangements with you, or see if there is a woman's shelter that will let you take the animal.
Then leave.
Many times abusers will use an animal to lure a victim back. It's best the animal not be able to be used if possible.
Info for future use: if a condom breaking ever occurs again, if you have a health plan, try getting Plan B through them.
Any man who makes light of sexual assault and violence then Has the audacity to be offended by your reaction is dangerous. It’s a huge huge red flag. Please break up with him. Please
Yes, it is. It's called self-control and not being a scumbag to your partner.
Please don’t get back with him. If you do, you’re setting up a relentless treadmill of him cheating because he knows all he has to do is threaten to unalive himself to keep you. What an awful future to look forward to.
Just ignore him and anyone who tries to persuade you to go back to him
Yeah. It turns out dudes watch porn. Sometimes they lie about not watching it if you push them to.
It's not appropriate to bring it up if the pictures are from the past.
But also if you were a little older, you might know this, and that's why people are going to comment on the age gap. It's too much.
Yea, I'm just afraid to do thearapy cause it costs so much, but I can try soon, thank you, I just think Bob was amazing, just weed and meds messed up my view on life at the time and i wasn't thinking everything through but ik your probably right, to stay single and work on myself.. I appreciate your response
Um so she's been pretty clear here that if you want to be with her you're going to have to support her financially. This is only going to get more expensive as time goes on. Is this something you're up for?
This should be at the top. An anecdote like this is so common and unnecessary sad
To those here that dont see her actions as a big deal, please read this
No she should confess.
Why are you advocating for dishonesty in a relationship? She invaded his privacy and you think that's okay?
How would you feel if your partner didn't trust you enough and went through your private thoughts? And then tried to hide it?
You don't need his permission to leave. Divorce him and live your best life, OP. You deserve to be happy.
Well, if she wants to interact with him, perhaps plans should be made for another day when he doesn’t have a busy schedule—like many adults have to do. I can’t remember celebrating my bday on the day in the last 40 some years unless I was on vacation. ?♀️
SEPARATE FROM HIM!!!!! KEEP HEALTH INSURANCE!!!
Yeah, therapy is another thing that's like dancing. If anyone involved doesn't want to participate, it defeats the purpose.
Basically, you sound like you're trying to figure out if you should get a divorce. So, you have to ask yourself, will you be happy in 5 or 10 or 20 years if nothing changes? If not, you need to start working towards making yourself self-sufficient enough to separate from him. It might take a couple of years, but you'll be doing yourself and your kids a favor.
I'm sorry you're going through this. I know it's not easy.