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Room for online sex video chat Rylee_Eden_
Model from: gb
Languages: en
Birth Date: 1989-11-09
Body Type: bodyTypeCurvy
Ethnicity: ethnicityWhite
Hair color:
Eyes color: eyeColorBlue
Subculture:
Date: October 6, 2022
If you can’t control your impulses to that level, you would come out in so many different ways. It would be hard to keep a job, etc. You make choices.
Why does he stay? Maybe he has always felt abused and isn’t sure he can do better. Maybe it’s the continued lies you give him (even the one in this post). Maybe it a hope. Who knows. Be better. Seek intensive counseling and let him go.
“Why” just sound like a demand that requires an immediate confrontation. It sound authoritative. And in a setting you describe, where it sounds like you're both under pressure, she most likely interpret it as a push. So she fought back.
And if i remember correctly, there was a research that asking “why” questions creates defensive response. It creates a negative feeling. “why did you do that?”, “why did you say that?”. We connect the question of why to the need to defend our reasoning.
How is more of asking the method, degree or condition. “How did this happen”, sounds less authoritarian than “Why did you do that” because it asked the steps on how it ended up on that state, than the why where it includes the person specifically into the steps (which is asking what human error was made)
I'm very much pro casual sex, dating or sleeping with multiple people, etc….
But it all hinges in honesty and openness. If you met and she's like “I'm looking for something serious but right now I'm seeing a couple people trying to figure myself out” it gives you the knowledge you need on whether to pursue a relationship or not with her.
She lied to you which is a red flag.
It's a red flag I might personally be able to forgive under certain circumstances. But it would take some communication to figure it out.
Whereas cheating is inexcusable, but you aren't exclusive so there was no cheating.
So, she’s not perfect. Perfect would have been telling you up front, and none of that “I have something to tell you but first promise not to break up with me” bullshit. I can understand her anxiety but stalling 4 months isn’t cool and trying to lay on a guilt trip isn’t cool. Up to you whether that particular imperfection is a dealbreaker.
Your gf deserves a supportive, loving partner. She doesn’t deserve for that partner to be you, bc she hasn’t treated you very well. If you can get past this and stay with her, she’ll have lucked out.
You may not be ready to date a trans person. Most trans (or any other kind of queer) people aren’t cool with being trans at first, and they need time to come to terms with it. That means challenging all the BS you’ve internalized, preparing for what the world may say, what it means for your future, etc. The partner of a trans person may also have internalized BS to deal with or concerns about the future. You might need time to come to terms with all of that before you’re able to be the good, supportive partner a trans gf deserves. So don’t think you’re necessarily a hater just bc you’re not instantly good with it.
If you’re just feeling queasy at the lying, that’s also understandable. But if some of it is that you’re not (yet?) enlightened enough to date a trans person, I’d try not to feel terrible about that. You can aim to grow and become a better person. But you’re not obligated to be perfect, and if this is one of your imperfections, there was an easy way for her to find that out a long time ago.
This sounds like a confusing experience. I hope you can take a little time to sort out your feelings and that it will bring you some clarity. I hope she’ll be understanding about this.
Thank you snowwhite. you sound really sweet