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Birth Date: 2001-09-09
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Date: January 9, 2023
I'm not concerned with cliches when it comes naming rape when rape is what occurred. If you are more concerned with OP being “terrified of being a rapist” than you are of OP having raped his partner, that is concerning. He is a rapist, because he admits to having raped her, and calling it anything else to protect his feelings about having raped her is fucking outrageous.
Huh ??
everything can be possible but check the devices his iCloud is signed on
You left it out, and I could be playing Sherlock here, but what about the brothers drinking? His medical anxiety and depression sound a whole lot like they could be symptomatically triggered from alcohol abuse. Any insights there?
Is it even subconscious at this point? Genuinely sounds like it's getting to the point of being controlling.
The panic attack was one thing, but he privately begged the brother to postpone the wedding. If this was just a panic attack and he was a reasonable person, he'd accept skipping the wedding.
Stop being bitter that those grandpas have more game than you do ?
Right. Just wait until you are both ready. It will be his child as well.
Glad things worked out for you and that your now-husband chose you.
Nah, leave that man alone, you'll be trotting off to the next man as soon as someone new looks your way, because you have 'the grass is greener' syndrome
OP he definitely dumped you. While you may have talked about threesomes, I think proposing a “free pass” really hurt him. Has he ever expressed his interest in opening the relationship or bringing other people in? Was he enthusiastic about the potential threesome you had talked about?
I'm wondering if he just wasn't comfortable with that at all but didn't voice his opinion directly to you. Perhaps you asking for a free pass was the final straw that convinced him you two weren't compatible.
I can certainly see someone who is monogamous minded would have a problem with you asking for a free pass. I know if my bf asked me for a free pass I would be hurt because we agreed to be monogamous.
That being said, I think it was kind of immature for him to completely ghost you. He could have at least had a conversation with you explaining his discomfort and also feelings that he didn't feel you two were compatible.
As you don't have any information or family contacts, there's not much you can do. Take this as a lesson learned.
I'm not putting this all on you. He should have communicated his discomfort and feelings if he thought you two were incompatible. But do you also want to be with someone who can't communicate these things to you?
It sounds like you thought things were going well and that you two communicated well.
Mom here. First. Start by not putting yourself down. If you don’t think I are good enough for him, why would he? Every time you catch yourself thinking badly about yourself, tell your brain to shut up because you are amazing. Seriously. Do this. Second. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. You don’t want to be a casual hook up so don’t be. You will never get what you want if you don’t ask for it. If you act like a casual date, that’s what you will be. Don’t settle. The worst that can happen is that he doesn’t feel the same way. You putting your feelings out there probably won’t change that but what if he is interested and you let your self esteem issues stop you from being honest. Third. If you want more than casual then don’t settle for a casual hook up. It will just end in pain. So. Tell him that you have developed feelings and see what happens. We always expect the guys to do the asking but that’s really unfair. It’s hard. You face rejection. Even in these supposedly forward thinking times, it’s still on the men to face that rejection more often than not. Be honest. Tell him. And tell yourself that you are absolutely fabulous and any man would be lucky to call you his partner.
One of the four horsemen of relationships demise!
Your boyfriend and best friend have mal-intentions and are not good for you.
stab him with a fork ffs. I hate him. I'm sorry. Nothing constructive to add besides I'd be pissed if my partner did that bullshit with me. Bad enough he doesn't care about your relationship with anyone in the group.
I asked to see his phone and he handed it to me. I would never snoop through a partners phone secretly.
Yeah I know it just doesn’t seem right to say at all that’s why I came here instead and thank you for sharing your thoughts, you don’t know you have an addiction until someone points it out so thank you
It sounded deliberate from what OP said and he said he did it due to a trauma reaction. And the fact he was doing it all over her torso and face instead of turning away sounds intentional. Dude needs therapy.
It sounded deliberate from what OP said and he said he did it due to a trauma reaction. And the fact he was doing it all over her torso and face instead of turning away sounds intentional. Dude needs therapy.
I am glad to hear you are leaving. Your leaving may get him to seek help. I would suggest calling a domestic violence hotline and set up a plan to safely leave ASAP. You may need to block him and his friends from all social media and be vague about your location if you are moving to a place within driving distance. Grabbing your throat and other past violence should be enough to get a restraining order to legally restrict him from being around you.
Yeah that makes sense. So if my boyfriend masturbated to a girl he crushed on it’s similar to that and not a bad thing.
After you did that in college, have you dated other people and do they know about you touching yourself to your professor? Also just to make sure we are talking about using imagination to touch yourself to the thought of having sex with someone?
What?
Like, you have no children, she doesn't own you, you work hard and deserve this trip.
So screw her, either she lives with it or find someone a bit more grown up, she has no right to tell you what to do.
Yes, and I think those are very personal questions to answer. You have to know if you want to fight for your marriage, and you also have to know if your partner is willing to fight with you, because if they are not, it's a pointless exercise. You also have to think about how much more time you want to put into a marriage that feels unequal.
Tell him that exactly. He has lost his mind and is in need of a new home where women don't have self respect and he can just talk to them any how he wants. I doubt any woman would accept that kind of treatment.
The whole basement? LMAO. But in all seriousness, you were completely in the right. How the fuck do they have the audacity to break into YOUR basement and be mad at you.
100% agree. I'm tired of the double standards
FYI; I’m actually ready to have sex
Literally in the post lol
You told him no. He kept going. That’s not a mistake, that’s a choice to ignore you. Get far away from him hun, he won’t respect you or your body.
Everyone misunderstood me, I put the responsibility on Mary when she came of age. Read my post carefully. In addition, modern children are very developed and they perfectly understand what they are doing, they know about sexual relations, about sex from a fairly early age. It cannot be said that she was raped, this is not in the AP's post. And most likely, 15 years is already the age of consent. If not, it would have been possible to bring the OP's father to court, but no one did. Of course, she didn't promise the OP's father's wife that she wouldn't fuck her husband behind his back. This is a very general question, to what extent are APs guilty of affairs at all. Okay, I won't say anything further, otherwise they will ban me without even trying to think about what I'm writing about.
OP, how did you find out?
I would tell him you feel resentful but explain why and again don't blame. Maybe some new vacation plans and memories would help.
If you love your partner and want to pursue being together you basically want to look at it with fresh eyes. Yes this happened and it hurt you but communicating and working through it can make your relationship stronger.
If you guys feel the need to, then you could also look into couples counseling to help work through your issues, but not everyone wants to bring someone else into their issues and that's OK.
You should make sure that you identify your resentment though when it happens. See if certain thoughts or actions trigger the resentment and then work on those (sorry had to pause in my reply string to do stuff)
His views are so skewed to the right he believes that being trans is the problem, not the guns.
The great thing about dating is it allows you to determine what your dealbreakers are.
“Does not see some human beings as innately deserving of dignity or life” could be a dealbreaker for some people. Is it one for you? It's okay if it is.
But! Let's say you're just fine with him dehumanizing certain groups like the Nazis did in the run-up to the main event. The fact that you suspect he won't respect your right to your own freedom of conscience could also be a dealbreaker.
It's okay to break up with this guy and tell busybodies, “We aren't in the same place on values.”
Thank you, I truly appreciate it