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Date: October 4, 2022
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Nooo because the obvious solution to everything even remotely unprepared for is to break up. Or at least that what I'm led to believe by almost every post I've read.
Crazy, either improve the cooking or stop altogether. OP already said it's not an issue so i agree with this and not the maniacs here who see demons behind every decision.
And dogs shouldn't eat ppl food but its not like the guy was trying to hurt the dog. As a child i gave bits of my food at every meal. Am i also an animal abuser? Seriously, if OP wouldve came here saying 3 months living together and bf said he doesn't like my cooking..answer: leave, find someone who respects your efforts, clearly hes immature and can't accept that people have different tastes. The food isn't bad, he's just a bad person so he can't taste good food.
Like that's the logic here almost and it's shocking to say the least
Nooo because the obvious solution to everything even remotely unprepared for is to break up. Or at least that what I'm led to believe by almost every post I've read.
Crazy, either improve the cooking or stop altogether. OP already said it's not an issue so i agree with this and not the maniacs here who see demons behind every decision.
And dogs shouldn't eat ppl food but its not like the guy was trying to hurt the dog. As a child i gave bits of my food at every meal. Am i also an animal abuser? Seriously, if OP wouldve came here saying 3 months living together and bf said he doesn't like my cooking..answer: leave, find someone who respects your efforts, clearly hes immature and can't accept that people have different tastes. The food isn't bad, he's just a bad person so he can't taste good food.
Like that's the logic here almost and it's shocking to say the least
Don't do it! Maybe he just wants you to have kids & nothing more.
He is angry and he is not processing his emotions well. It may be the first person he has lost in his life. Lay low and give him space, but don’t go away. It will take a while.
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Me: male/29. Her: female/27. I've tried many times, now the 8th time to break up with my girlfriend and kick her out. The issue is every time she has a panic attack, which leads to her migraines, which results in projectile vomit and diarrhea.
After days of this I feel awful, and also for the sake of getting some sleep myself say nvm. I typically miss work due to these tantrums due to taking care of her, cleaning the mess, and it being hard to sleep when someone is vomiting and moaning all night next to you.
Unfortunately she lives with me otherwise I'd dump her and drive away. It's my house and I don't trust her alone there. She'll destroy everything out of spite, also the principle of it.
She also guilt trips me on things like I'd force her to quit her job she just made assistant manager at to move back home 1 hr away. Also my dog she is now in love with and calls her son, her and her parents lose their shit that I'd be taking him away from her even though I do all the caretaking and take care of the Bill's. Lastly it being the christmas season – even my parents are on her side but like, why spend the money on gifts just to break up after?
Legally I have to give her 30 day's or this would be a non issue.
Please help me. I've been stuck in these situation for over 2 years now. (3.5 years together but decided 1.5 in I was done). Idk how much longer I can live this way.
I don’t know just my way of thought I couldn’t imagine fighting with my kid I just met but then again I didn’t really calculate how old he is now so I could understand over time problems came about
So if you walked in on him lounging around on the couch with his naked female friend, you wouldn't care?
I'm cheating with all of you right now
I’ve noticed a lot of kids and teens wear hoodies even when it’s 90 degrees out. I’ve asked my kids why and they can’t even tell me why they were it when they are clearly hot. I wouldn’t bring it up as others have mentioned it is inappropriate. Also I have a degree in psychology & child development and family relations and I wouldn’t bring this up. As others have mentioned it is inappropriate. I think you mean well but this is not up to you to out him to your sister like that IF your assumptions are correct.
Stop posting this until you're able to stop spamming and ask a question, so people can give you advice.
I was on your side until I read the comments about you cheating on her before. What goes around comes around. You cheated then that's what you deserve. I have no sympathy for you whatsoever.
So your boyfriend sounds like a selfish, insecure jerk.
Bottom line, he just doesn't want his buddy to know he's not taking care of business.
Hold on, your girlfriend is upset because you warned your friend about the girl he had a crush on? As far as I know, you were just helping a friend stop himself from getting his heart broken. If this was on the r/AmITheAsshole subreddit, this would be a resounding NTA from me and many other people.
1) He may just feel comfortable around you and is giving you a good view. You said he likes the attention. He may have acted like that at home growing up also. He may have walked around his parents house in his boxers all the time. 2) He maybe curious as well and waiting for you to say anything. This one is highly unlikely bc life isnt like porn but you never know. 3) As for feeling like there is a lack of privacy, this is life in the dorms. It is a pain in the butt to try to get some solo time.
Overall, ask him why he doesnt wear many clothes and why he tries to talk to you naked. It may mot be as big of a thing to him and he may not be thinking much about it. Just talk to him and see what he says.
Are you financially independent?
You're nearly 30 and married. If you're not ready now to make your own adult decisions without needing your mother's approval, when are you going to be ready?
“Sorry, Mom, as I said before, Husband sends his love but just didn't feel up to coming. I don't have anything else to say about it. Hey, who wants to play Parcheesi?”
I think you just have to get used to it. It's the same with a haircut sometimes. If it's super different, then you might not like it at first. But slowly, you'll get used to it, and you won't even notice it anymore.
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Not really… Usually after a fight we just end up going back to normal eventually. And then everything is fine for a few weeks until the next argument comes up. I mean we talked about how this mostly happens when both of us are drunk and that we both think thats dumb… And I already minimized drinking on my behalf, but I know he wouldn't change his drinking habits just like he doesn't change his smoking habits
I hate these kind of situation. First of all you should make sure that you have someone that you can talk to and get support that is kind of neutral, that is someone that listens but not tells you how to act or how to feel. It's important when dealing with stressful events to feel safe and not be pressured how to feel or act.
That probably includes not listening to much to people here because most will have strong opinions and that won't make you feel better in the long run.
Whatever you do with this situation take it as a lesson that it's never a good situation to sleep with a male platonic friend. I can't tell you the number of times I have talked to girls or women that has been raped in that situation. Sometimes by a predator that used sleeping as a way to get close to a girl why having deniabilty, that she wanted to. More often because the lines between consent got blurred sometimes exagerated by alcohol. I wouldn't recommend anyone, boy or girl, to put themselves in that situation.
You suck.
No, they have some authority over each other. You can be offended, but I'd be offended that she didn't have the forethought to think that most guys aren't going to like having their girlfriends or wives naked with other men. It's like if you found out your guy is messaging other women in a flirty way. My guess, if you were willing to look past it and move forward with him, then saying “this needs to stop” would be absolutely appropriate. It's saying “this is a hard boundary!” It's giving your partner a chance to make quick changes or the relationship is over. In this case her respecting this boundary and ending these skinny dipping events, or moving on from the relationship and looking for a man that's perfectly fine with his woman regularly being naked with her guy friends (which I think is going to be more rare).
Just saying you don't have to be raised a nudist to be comfortable skinny dipping ?
He's dating someone now. Would you really encourage him to CHEAT on his girlfriend?
Don't do anything. If you've known her for years but don't fancy her, then there's no reason to pursue her. You're both just 18, so you will both change a lot the next years. There's a good chance you'll grow apart and the similarities you share now will diminish
Sounds like you think of her mostly as something nice that will treat you nice. It's not a good foundation for a relationship, and it's not a good reason to pursue her.
I'm sorry you're being betrayed by your friend. The first thing I thought of was that your ex is trying to weasel her way back in, and somehow stay in your life. She has clung onto your friend as a way to stay connected to you. They're both doing wrong.
Thanks for helping.
I would say to your GF that you guys may unintentialy be getting too close if her coworkers think they are messing around. She needs to set some boundaries. I think you have reason to talk to her about it.
What countries are you in?
I’m not going to be mad at him or anything, I’m just genuinely curious to see if he ever actually starts it when I don’t first. We often go do stuff together like walk in the park or take his dog out for a jog (he has a big high energy husky lol) so we’ll probably do that this afternoon. And we always have fun doing things together but at then end of the day we’re home and relaxing and he’s still never in the mood no matter how good of a day it’s been with me
Do you seriously expect a grown man to tell you where he’s going and with whom but even that’s not enough? What more do you want? Seriously. I’m confused. He did what you asked but it’s still not enough and I can’t figure out why. Do you trust this man?
It's not immature to want the person you're dating to want you. He's a full grown adult. It's been two months. He should have SOME idea at this point. Taking things slowly is fine. Being cautious is fine. But if he wants all the benefits of an exclusive relationship with you at this time, while refusing to label it as such, he's just stringing you along.
Hiking. Long walks in general
Glad you left. This is heckin weird.
No, if it's Uninstalled like he said, there would not be any notifications from tinder. Busted.
If you guys aren't dating she isn't your partner then. I hate to be this up front but since you two aren't an item she is within her right to see or be with whomever she wants to unless you guys specifically talked about being exclusive.
Really the only thing you can do is just tell her how you feel.
Best of luck.
I mean she said she had feelings for him not that she was in love with him you act like her having a crush which some people just develop it first sight is some deeper thing than it probably is in reality.
Also you say you can't trust again but isn't this exactly how she would want you to handle the situation? She hid nothing was completely forward about it and is willing to basically do anything to right the ship. You don't choose to develop feelings for someone so I don't see how else she could have handled this situation in a more positive way
I can read in your post just how low your self esteem has been brought down by her.
Your partner should be the one to build you up and support you when things get tough. That’s why they are a partner, not an enemy.
Being with someone who perpetually tells you that you aren’t good enough and they are better is just a bully. Take off your rose coloured glasses and talk about the situation with your family and close friends, I think you need to hear an outside view of just how mean this person is to you.
Your gf is a nobody and sounds like she is a talentless and worthless hack that pretends the world revolves around her. I've met a ton of people like this back when I did art, they truly believed they were geniuses and deserved only the very best. Everything else was beneath them and they were too special for simple things.
They typically go on to do nothing with their lives just like your gf will, get tf out of there as you're only in for a life of misery as she will put you down consistently to make herself feel higher.
PI is better. They are obviously well off and she needs to protect herself more than she needs an immediate confonrtation.
Just tell venue to not let him in and only to answer to you
If you feel like you have to sell your significant other on the idea of marrying you, they probably aren't going to marry you.
This is very good advice. Now that you know what doesn't work, you're closer to finding out what does. Plus, this therapist will have way better connections than a random Google search with better insight into how their recommendations approach topics
You’ve been with him since 18, and your 20s is not only when life just changes as you grow into adulthood, but your brain changes too. You guys simply may not be compatible anymore, even if you were in the past. You seem unhappy in this relationship, and having already tried to break up 3 times is a red flag. I had attachment issues too so I understand how hard it is to leave a long term relationship. Don’t pursue your crush, and think long and hard about if you want to stay in this relationship.
we’ve planned so much of our life together (kids, marriage, etc) and we’ve been dating for two years. I want that life with him still.
You can't have that life with him. He's a liar, a user, and he literally gambled it all away. You need to break up and block him yesterday.
I second everything in this comment and below it. I would send a group chat stating if he or anyone shows up not in dress code they will be denied entry. No ifs ands or buts.
What solution? It's her job.
Use your words.
Open your mouth and say, “Honey, either you introduce me to your daughter within the next three months, or I walk. Your ex wife and her bitterness are your problem to resolve. I don't owe her anything, and she does not get to hold my personal life hostage. So you have 90 days to figure this out.”
And then stick to your guns, or risk permanent limbo and geriatric sperm
Couples therapy. You talk to her. It starts with I love you and I want to grow old with you. I feel that we are struggling with communication. Go from there. You grew up together. That’s admirable that you are still in love and together. But. Living together is a huge adjustment. So it’s time for a talk and outside help. You are only asking because you love her. It can really help.
Sounds like you dodged a bullet. Onwards and upward to better things with someone who actually loves and respects you.
This. I’d even reach out to his old boss. Not only does it maybe get you some real answers if it’s like… brain tumor related, but it also puts that concern in his old work’s head and may make them more sympathetic, at least in the short term, and less likely to charge him with destruction of property/assault.
It’s not a bad thing she said it; she sees you as a father figure and relates to you as such.
I don't think anyone would ever say this was a bad thing. Its just that some fathers can be hurt when a child starts to call a step parents mum or dad. It's even a point in the movie Click where Adam Sandlers character feels like he failed as a father when his daughter calls her stepfather 'dad'.
The issue is you can't discourage a childs love but at the same time, it could crush her real father who is a good parent.
yeah me too. seems like the pattern
If you're looking for a sign, here it is ?
I bet it feels GREAT!! I am petty and I'd unblock him just for a bit once I found a better partner, just to rub it in xD
Dude, it doesn't matter if it's only texting. I mean I don't buy that for a second, but even if it's the truth it changes nothing. She cheated! A demand to completely cut off the person she cheated with is a reasonable boundary to set and one that most people would set, too! Her being in any type of contact with him, even most innocent cat memes, is a legit dealbreaker. So when she's arguing it's “only texts” she is completely (and purposefully) messing the point and trying to manipulate the issue to be about something else than it really is about. It's about her being in contact with this dude AT ALL.
It blows my mind that people still do this when never having an open relationship. Some fantasies need to stay fantasies. I've never met a monogamous couple whose relationship survives having a 3some. One or both of yall will end up with hurt feelings.
Do. Not. Do. It. Tell her you've changed your mind.
You're still in the dating phase, so both guys are trying to get to know you. Date both. You don't have any obligations towards them right now. If you decide that one is worth keeping, tell the other one that it isn't going to work out and end things
If you feel guilty about “leading both guys on,” then I would say date dude B. 3 dates in 7 months isn't a lot, imo.
So break up? If you’re fighting over Twitter, how do you guys handle actual real life, real relationship problems?
You’re insecure because you met your gf via Twitter and it seems as if it’s her MO of meeting guys. If my boyfriend had an issue with someone simply liking my photos and tweets then I would say grow up. If this person is PMing me and we’re chatting then yeah, I would say that’s a violation.
The simple fact is: your girlfriend isn’t taking your concerns seriously. Is that who you want to be with?
Yeah, I’m not very big about hanging out with people that don’t have similar morals as I do. I would be really uncomfortable if my girlfriend is cheating on her husband in fact so uncomfortable I probably be angry and want to tell her husband so I can see your frustration. There are several several edits hear about friends that try to encourage other friends to cheat to like it’s a thing or to break up. She’s kind of old for that but I definitely would keep an eye on her.
México NO te necesita. Ya no vengan porfavor.
“it's an uncomfortable conversation that she doesn't want to have with his ex-partner” or that “I need to be more empathetic.”
Ehm….if he can't be honest with a “friend” that he's in a relationship (and has been for 1.5 years), they're not really a “friend”
Ditto. I have severe ADHD and this is such BS
Relationships always have problems but loving partners don't pretend to stop talking to someone and then go talk to that person behind their partner's back. They don't let others talk mean things about their partner. Op's husband is basically looking a way out and op leaving would be the best outcome for both of them.
I feel like every porn video now is some sort of step- family member porn. You’d almost have to go out of your way not to watch it.
I wouldn’t put much stock in it, tbh. When I clicked I was bracing myself for something really nasty. This is positively milquetoast.
everything posted in this sub is above reddits paygrade, we have two speeds. Divorce/Therapy. The rest is just demonizing the OP's SO, and especially so if male.
Use your words. Ask him and find out.
“Hey Person, would you be interested in going out with me? I was thinking [THING] on [DATE] around [TIME].”
Nothing ventured nothing gained.
Your wife needs therapy individually and with you. Do not be held hostage by her jealously.
She enjoys them when we do end up doing it, yes. My question is how do I bring this up with her while not sounding unreasonable? Because it's something that's really been bothering me.
There is no such thing as a break.
So either work it out or end the relationship.
Nah, you have your needs, she is intrested only in her needs. Break up with her without guilt. Any sensible person would do that.
This^
I’m a high school teacher. Almost every year I have 3-4 kids with the same first name. Big whoop, no one cares.
You keep talking about your insecurities and how you’re improving but I fail to see any wrongdoing on your part.
He gave you, and continues to give you, multiple reasons to not trust him. You can’t have a relationship on a foundation of no trust. Please dump him.
I’d be tempted to tell her to stuff a sock in it. This is nonsense and she’s just a “friend”-not even a chance of confusion in the family. I think she needs to grow up and you need to just move the heck on, happily.