But that's kind of the issue- he might very well have been thinking, “If it were me, I would hate for her to make a big deal out of my birthday, I'm just going to stick to my usual plans and go out just like I would want her to do in my place”.
You can't assume what you want and what he would want are the same things. Some people want alone time, some people want couple time. If he had disregarded your expressed wants, I would feel differently.
Also…not everyone does anything at midnight of their birthday. I'm a big fan of birthdays and making a production out of mine, but lots of people I know haaate that stuff and it would not occur to them naturally that “celebrating your birthday” involves anything outside of the specific birthday party.
I totally get why you feel a bit left behind, but I do think that unless you feel like he has a pattern of ditching you or something that this is just a good lesson about communicating your specific wants. Next year tell him exactly how you want to spend the day.
Wow. You really think you can fix a problem when you don’t even know what the problem is? Self important much? And where’d you get your family therapist credentials?
Seriously, in a relationship you each deal with your own families. Also, maybe just try talking to him, and if he doesn’t trust you enough to tell you then y’all need to re-evaluate this entire relationship. He probably needs therapy and you need to mind your own and stay out of family issues that don’t involve you.
Thank you!! This is balm. My kids are happier and loving the attention they didn’t get before our marriage blew up.
But that's kind of the issue- he might very well have been thinking, “If it were me, I would hate for her to make a big deal out of my birthday, I'm just going to stick to my usual plans and go out just like I would want her to do in my place”.
You can't assume what you want and what he would want are the same things. Some people want alone time, some people want couple time. If he had disregarded your expressed wants, I would feel differently.
Also…not everyone does anything at midnight of their birthday. I'm a big fan of birthdays and making a production out of mine, but lots of people I know haaate that stuff and it would not occur to them naturally that “celebrating your birthday” involves anything outside of the specific birthday party.
I totally get why you feel a bit left behind, but I do think that unless you feel like he has a pattern of ditching you or something that this is just a good lesson about communicating your specific wants. Next year tell him exactly how you want to spend the day.
Wow. You really think you can fix a problem when you don’t even know what the problem is? Self important much? And where’d you get your family therapist credentials?
Seriously, in a relationship you each deal with your own families. Also, maybe just try talking to him, and if he doesn’t trust you enough to tell you then y’all need to re-evaluate this entire relationship. He probably needs therapy and you need to mind your own and stay out of family issues that don’t involve you.
It's also a crime in many countries. You should be far away from this man. He has no problem robbing you of your bodily autonomy, that is terrifying.
Thank you for your honesty. I'm going to try to find a therapist for myself.