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Date: December 17, 2022
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Dude…you wrote out this whole thing and still don't see it…? Me, personally, I never would have even made it to the part where I found out my wife was gay, because I would have ended this relationship a very long time ago. In this whole post, you make it seem like she's never once shown you the decency and respect that a partner is supposed to show. Have some more respect for yourself. Don't be in a relationship where someone treats you like that. Find someone who values you and cares about you enough to not ditch you at the hospital when you need a ride home after a surgery, to have lunch with her friends. Based on the rest of the post, it would make me wonder if she had a crush on one of her friends and that's why she always wants to spend more time with them and make them more of a priority than her own husband. Just end it, dude.
icky.
How would you bring it up ?
Women don't give birth out of their brains.
Oh well. What happens to her after is not your fault. Call the police for a wellness check and be done.
May i suggest to ease off on the drinking.
I can admit I have suspicions about the first thing you said but I know for a fact that he isn’t cheating or looking to cheat
Okay I'm gonna address something I've only seen a few comments touch on, which is to say I'm going to leave the whole 40 minutes to go downstairs and smoke and come back bullshit aside completely. Also not going to touch on how unhealthy and stupid smoking is, and of course I won't mention how damaging it can be to your gf's house and how disrespectful it is to smoke inside her house… yeah, all that aside…
Smoking is actually the least of your problems, it's just the current catalyst
It sounds like you and your gf have not really figured out how communicating in relationships work. You mention that she's broken up with you before but then came back together and “reconciled”, but now she's done so again and you seem to think that she's going to come back around again.
This is not at all a healthy approach to conflict or problem-solving, and frankly, if you can't handle conflict in a healthy way, your marriage is not going to survive real life. It seems both of you lack communication skills, and you in particular seem to lack accountability and the maturity needed to take responsibility for your actions.
You've been commenting and making multiple excuses for why you did what you did, and you don't seem to really understand the gravity of this. You make it sound like this isn't that big of a deal and something you only did once, but you in fact did it three times, and all the excuses you make don't change the fact that you clearly and purposefully disrespected your partner's boundaries.
So
She does not seem to have a healthy approach to conflict or problem-solving and neither do you. In addition to your smoking problem you have an accountability problem, and apparently can't be trusted to follow even one simple rule. Your immature refusal to accept the comments telling you that you fucked up shows that you lack the humility and courage necessary to own up to your mistakes, which is one of the most important parts of reconciliation in relationships.
Honestly if she's so vehemently against smokers I'm surprised she even agreed to marry you, that would be a deal breaker for me from the beginning.
I wonder if the two of you are quite ready for the commitment of marriage, you don't really seem to be acting your age just yet, to put it as nicely as I can.
The more i read OP’s replys the more i think this is troll post