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Liza, 21 y.o.
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Date: December 14, 2022
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I would pack some stuff and take the kids to a local hotel and I would leave him a note explaining that I saw the messages and I know what hes doing. Tell him how disappointed you are that he literally tried to show you and the kids out of the way so he could get high. Explain to him that he'd better think long and hard before starting up with the drugs again because he'll lose his family for it. This would be a huge boundary for me…definitely a hill to die on.
Why is it not ok to bring up an issue farther on into the relationship? You don’t always know what issues are going to arise later. At the beginning of the relationship you could have had a long discussion on something, only later to find out that you are not on the same page. I’m not saying they should “stop because it makes them feel bad” that’s dumbing it’s down. I’m saying you should take how your partner feels into consideration, and if you don’t want to change on an aspect that is big to the other person, then you aren’t right for eachother. For example, my partner smoked weed when we got together, I knew that, and I didn’t care because it wasn’t on an everyday bases, we talked about boundaries from the beginning. Later on on the relationship he started smoking much more frequently, which made me uncomfortable and uneasy. I voiced how I felt to him, I did NOT tell him to stop smoking. He valued my feelings and opinions and made the conscious decision by himself, to stop smoking as much. It is not controlling to have feelings and opinions on things and wanting a partner to value those. If you cannot value those feelings then be with a person who doesn’t share those opinions. Yes communication is a huge part of it. You cannot expect change without communication. But problems can arise about things you have already communicated on. Something that you deem as “normal” is not normal to someone else, and it doesn’t have to be. You don’t have to settle, you don’t have to accept. After you have communicated to someone how you feel and they go out of their way not to take your feelings into consideration they are not for you. They can decide not to listen, and you can also decide that you don’t want to be in a relationship with someone that doesn’t have the same opinions as you
STD checks. Stat. Also block, block, block.
No, he absolutely does not get to text somebody while posing as you, from your phone. The likelihood that won’t be a trap to confirm his insanity is zero. Same as the odds of embarrassing you. Whatever he sends will be a heavily set up question and whatever response is received, will be viewed as 100% proof of your guilt. Almost no matter what it is.
Do not let him do that. And if he even has access to your phone, change that right now.
Not OP's partner anymore. The second she chose to kiss someone else became the second she is no longer his responsibility
What I mean is that anyone is capable of doing anything. Cheating, jerking of to came girls, exposing themself to kids… Anything. Just keep that in your mind. I'm not saying that your husband did any of those things but you never know. May be he didn't take your offer because he didn't want to complicate his marriage when he can keep his marriage and the side business separate. Maybe he was just pretending to be monogamous. It's also possible that he's as great of a husband as you say and someone just recorded him while he was watching normal porn and now is trying to blackmail you. All I said it, women need to stop with their “he's not like that” bs when it comes to their partners.
You don't. Left him make his own choice. “How do I convince my GF to stop being vegan?” How would you feel about that post
Exactly, OPs bf was honest and upfront from the start but she keeps trying to change him instead of respecting his boundaries
no, she has a choice. it’s a boundary for herself. she can either stay or leave
As someone who doesn't believe in the paranormal, I would assume that this is completely random. Unless you think that your BF's family poisoned those people, I'm quite sure your parents are safe. They will not die due to meeting your BF's family. This doesn't mean that there is zero chance of them dying, it only means that meeting your BF's family will not change the odds of your parents longevity.
Switch positions.. if you still can't hold it . Eat her out .. if that ain't working… Go to the sex shop and as a couple pick out a sidekick..
Idk. I think he has a right to have enjoyed it in the moment. He also has the right to regret what he did or that he enjoyed it. I don’t think it’s right for him to blame you for those feelings, though. I won’t call him a dick, but he definitely needs to figure his shit out. And probably needs the space to do so?
Wow…I love what people choose to take out of my post to stir up their own idea of the person I am….isn’t this an advice forum? What advice did you offer me? None, just judgement and another person that blames me for his allergy!
There's no balance. Your wife is an independent adult choosing to be shitty to a child.
Your daughter is a child with a traumatizing upbringing who needs a living, steady parent.
You trying to prioritise them equally is you being a shitty father.