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lets haven fun guys , ♥♥♥ [102 tokens remaining]
Date: November 27, 2022
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She's an adult. Don't nose around in her business.
OP has clarified that fiancée is a dual citizen, so there are no restrictions for him moving there.
Jump ship. You’re too young for all that.
And now you know that was a lie. So why are you still with him?
‘He loves me and wants me more than anything’.
No, he doesn’t, if he did, he wouldn’t be pushing for something else.
You’re both still young, and if you want different things at this stage in your relationship, it’s time to move on and find someone new.
And you think fucking she roommate will help? Find someone who doesn’t live with her.. geez.
Few red flags here but him not giving you oral yet receiving it? Like ????????
If he's told you he's sexually attracted to you and WANTS to have sex, just fucking fuck already lol
Take a shower before him, while he's showering create the mood in the bedroom and this is exactly what you want to say “Babe, I don't want to feel like I'm pressuring you so here's my offer. You don't need to do anything right now if you don't want to. But I want to have sex tonight, if you are comfortable. ”
Grab the bull by the horns.
I'm not sure if I intended there to be a pun but, you get it
This is above reddit paygrade, friend.
If you can, I would suggest you talk to one of his doctors/carers and if not that, his parents maybe, so they can talk to doctors.
Ask them what will be more beneficial for helping him recover; letting it happen as it will if it will or fill in the blanks for him. This has to be about what's best for him, and his friends may have opinions, but they're not medical professionals.
Likewise, there is no way anyone here can tell you what's best for him in his specific situation.
Get doctors to weigh in on this.
That said, you should find someone to talk to, yourself, because this is a very heavy situation and you're very young to be shouldering something like this. No one is equipped for this.
I'm so sorry about the havoc this must be wreaking on you as well as him. hugs
this^
Why cant I see the comments in this post?
By putting on your adult hat and realizing that 1. You're not the end all be all after you're no longer with someone, and 2. An ex doesn't owe you a thing and can sleep with whoever they want, whenever they want, as many times as they want, etc.
As a guy, I wouldn’t want her to take sex “off the table”. Jesus. I mean I probably wouldn’t have much interest in it, but being totally emasculated by having to blow a dude and then having your girl take sex away from you too? I would think she doesn’t want to sleep with me because she saw me get humiliated. This is absolutely awful advice. You’re gonna make this guy kill himself.
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100% don't let her turn you into whatever the fuck that is. You know what's up. Move on and keep trusting your gut
I’ve tried and it seems like she has no Interest in anything else and with the way it’s going bringing up getting her a hobby only makes matters worse it seems like there is no middle ground and that I’m her hobby if that makes any sense what so ever she cry’s and says she’ll find a hobby so I can “ do whatever you want when you want” but I know that is just a fight wasn’t to happen also I’m so lost.
Move to a bigger place or have an area that's just his..it's ridiculous for you to leave your house for him alone time.
I once laughed when my friend fell down a huge flight of stairs. I was shocking and it just flew out if me, even though I didn't find the situation funny at all.
My grandfather laughed during my grandmother's funeral service, and he LOVED her so much. Later in the day I saw him cry for the first time ever in my life.
It's really not uncommon to laugh in moments of confusion, surprise, embarrassment or awkwardness. But it's also completely reasonable to feel hurt when someone laughs during a vulnerable moment.
Neither of you are bad people and it sounds like you both apologized to each other. The best thing to do here might be to just try to shake it off and move forward together.
Update: he called me this morning. He told me I shouldn’t worry but that there’s just some things we both need to work on. And that he’s stressed and has a lot on his mind.. but he should be better at communicating that and not jump to considering breaking up. He said it’s not like the last time and I shouldn’t worry. I told him I appreciate the honesty but we need to get better with communication. We didn’t have time to talk more as he started school 08. And had to leave 07:30. But I think that’s a good sign right?
You had the pets before the boyfriend. And the boyfriend can take care of himself while your birds cannot, they depend on you for their very survival. So unless you're willing to take the time to find a proper home for your birds and never have pets again while you're dating this person then I would put the moving in together on hold.
And if you're the type of person that wants pets in their life and he doesn't, what else are you guys not compatible about. That might be something to think about. I'm not saying ditch the relationship I'm just saying don't move in together until you guys have everything worked out and written out.
This goes for all chores, bills, who can be in the house and who cannot, how late friends can be over, parties in the home, Etc. Pets or no pets is just one item among many that two people wanting to move in together should be 100% in agreement with and not one person being forced to do it grudgingly.
yeah I totally get you
yeah I understand
Your husband has a strong fetish. Thats normal
You have a strong boundary, thats normal.
He needs to respect that, and you will need to accept what his fetish(s) are.
Thats it. If he cant respect that you dont overly enjoy this, IE it doesnt happen frequently or ever, then thats a problem.
He can enjoy other things in your sex life just because he cant get his fetish fix.
Now if he becomes manipulative or whiney about your boundaries, then again, thats a problem.
She took it as a form of admiration but they're posting stuff about my girlfriend
Nah. Keep telling yourself that. When you love someone, you don’t lie to them and you don’t betray their trust. That’s not love.
What the actual fuck. I feel bad when I don’t use shampoo AND conditioner before seeing my SO, but this dude is rocking skid marks and worse teeth than Tom Hanks in Cast Away.
Lord have mercy have a little respect for yourself. His outward appearance and the lack of care he has for it reflects onto you.
Why would you stay with this man? He is toxic as fuck….he doesn’t hate you because you are sleeping with him…if you weren’t, trust me he would hate you too….and he will….down the road, they always turn toxic on their partners, it’s just a matter of when.
dude u have a 10 month old baby and complain about having sex 2 times a week???? that is not your problem. in this aspect you are being extremely selfish. no wonder she wont take your argument seriously. the issue here is the baby sleeping on her own and the constant waking up being detrimental to yalls health. stop thinking about your dick and your “needs”, you have a kid now.
“33M/21F”
[mechanic’s voice]: “Well, there’s your problem!”
Username checks out
My bf literally shaved my (28F) hair for me, both of us giggling the whole time. If a haircut made the feelings go away, it was just a crush for her. You can do better, bro.
He was in the room when I smelled it, so of course I asked him first… It’s not like my mom would know, she physically can’t get up to this floor, since she can’t use stairs, and my sons were in at home when I smelled this… So really, who else would I have asked at that moment?
We've been using eachother off and on for 3 years. But you're totally right.. thanks for your input
I think the best way to go about it is to first acknowledge whatever feelings you are having, instead of wondering what feelings you think you should be having. Then discuss those feelings with him. For example hooters is a pretty common chain restaurant we’ve all heard of, but id still feel kind of weird/grossed out to find out my bf visited a hooters because afterall, the whole premise is for men to gawk at the waitresses/their boobs. Some people wouldnt care, and some people would. Neither are necessarily wrong, but since this wasn’t discussed previously with your bf it would be most beneficial to just discuss it now. If my bf told me he went to hooters with a coworker id probably say something like “do you like those types of establishments? What about hooters appeals to you?” And then finally id let him know that the thought of him going to a place specifically designed for him to ogle other women makes me uncomfortable as his gf, and id ask him how he’d feel if i went to a restaurant called cohones where the male waiters stuff socks into their tight boxer short uniforms so that the customers could ogle and flirt with them. Knowing my bf, he’d be uncomfortable with that too. We would then set up some healthy boundaries for the future. Only you know your relationship and how to talk to your bf about this, but the important thing is that if you are a bit weirded out (which it seems you are) you shouldnt let these feelings bubble up inside u and eventually blow up or turn into resentment, because at that point your bf wouldnt really understand what he was suddenly doing wrong if you’ve never spoken about it. It’s impossible to preset boundaries for every situation because life is unpredictable like that, the best solution is to communicate asap when something starts to feel off 🙂
She's like a Puppy trying to follow me and I have to give her a stern No! for her to understand
This is all made up, isn't it?
Says more about OP that she’s actually been keeping the dog in a crate as per his wishes, IMO.
I feel like this is an overreaction on his part… And possibly an extension of his lack of ownership of his actions.
He's allowed to be upset if your mood is effecting his, but you're also allowed to be miffed at the lack of communication…. And what he did is basically take something that was an easy,
“I'm sorry, I will try to communicate next time. Just probably not right fresh in the morning because it takes me a bit to get to my day.”
“yeah, I'm sorry mornings aren't like that for me, so I jump into things pretty quick. Next time I'll just shoot you a text if it's later morning.
But instead he's bombed you into being the bad guy ??
You’re not wrong. I did leave him. I received my clarity thanks to all of you.
Thank you for your comment. As much as a part of me wants to send it, another part just isn't sure and the other comments on this thread are making me hesitate what the right decision in this situation would be
It happens all the time. Plenty of kids who were adopted find their birth parents later in life. Why is this any different?
If she's so into psychology, she should know that bottling it in is actually the worst thing she could do. She seems to have learned types of disorders and attachment styles, but she doesn't appear to have learned how to to about those things. If she did, she would know that withdrawing herself from you not only hurts you but hurts herself also. She is literally being an avoidant attachment style lol it's ironic that she doesn't appear to see her own attachment style.
Edit: instead of working with the psychology she's learned, she's working against it
You should go without him and tell him your reasoning. Yes, he might get upset, but he can get upset about anything if he really wants it.
Btw why is your boyfriend on bad terms with your friends? Does he have his own friends, and if so what is your relation with them.
Id be pretty offended. Not by the trip, but by the attitude you have. Its his best friends wedding, he is probably happy for him and is looking forward to he happy occasion. Its kinda weird that you dont want to share that with him.
You are his beard most likely and he will never be attracted to you.
Just wait until he wants to make a crafting room with his friend.
Divorce , is that what you looking for ?
May I ask what religion and what part of the world you live in?
Thank you for youd reply. I really appreciate it, it means alot. Can't stress this enough
Thank you for youd reply. I really appreciate it, it means alot. Can't stress this enough
Do not go see the wife, thats a one way ticket to having the police called on you, are you stupid?
Leave this whole thing behind. Do NOT fly there, do not try to talk to her, do not try to call him. Stop stalking them and move on. You were the side chick for 3 years. Theres no salvaging this.
I have tried to ask her about her fantasies, and what she wants to try or do. But it’s just plain old heterosexual sex, no variety. No toys, no foreplay. I get it; definitely seems like I’m whining, but I don’t want to miss out on experiences she isn’t willing to try.
Ask if she's been using your concealer stick. That will probably clear things up pretty quickly.
Good god, I’m so sorry. This sounds really horrible. Here’s what I would do: 1. Get whatever paperwork is required for dissolution of marriage, or whatever that paperwork is to get the ball rolling on a divorce. Fill out those papers. 2. Get a hotel room for a weekend, Friday and Saturday night, for you and your son. 3. Leave the paperwork and a letter for your husband to see when he gets home. 4. In the letter be very clear about how you feel and how you are unwilling to continue living like this. Tell him he has until Sunday at whatever time to decide if he wants to begin the divorce process or go to marriage counseling. Tell him your preference is to either save the marriage through counseling, or earn your way out of the marriage through counseling. 5. Come home on Sunday night and hope for the best. And, I’m gonna be honest, if he has been acting this way for a lifetime, if his go-to method of dealing with conflict is to ignore, it’s going to be a really long and tumultuous road. It’s going to be a hard habit to break. And this is ESPECIALLY true if he thinks there is no problem with this method. If he rationalizes it as “it’s so I don’t get angry” the likelihood that he will be willing to do a full 180 and become a communicative person is very low. 6. Have a couples therapist already booked. Try to get a later evening time, or lunch time, that might work for him, so you have one less obstacle. If he says yes to therapy, tell him you already booked it and when it is. 7. Just be ready to follow through, whatever his answer. And I’m sorry.
Btw, my husband had an extremely stressful job. He got up at 4:30 am and often returned home after 7. He was always kind, gentle, communicative. It’s not the stress. It’s who he is. And probably how he was raised, and that’s why it needs to change for your son.
I think you are right that we don't know and this could certainly be his way of dealing with loss — denial is definitely a step in the grief process.
BUT this relationship seems doomed if his response to grief is so incompatible with and drastically different than what his partner needs at this time — if his denial is so extensive that he's ok with leaving her alone to go through the medical abortion on her own …
Lots of relationships don't survive the loss of a child; this may be one of them
Looks like this ship is sinking fast lol
Glad that things worked out for you and your gf in the end.
Just want to make a short comment on the iPhone/Android issue. The “sending videos from iPhone to Android lowers quality” is a lie just like so much else that those women lied to you about. Besides, an iPhone is a phone and Android is an operating system so it's not even a proper comparison that those liars did.
Good luck OP. Your gf is a keeper. Please consider marrying her in the end.
You realize consensual has a very clear definition right? lol
This says a lot more about you than anyone else.
Ya no I'm standing by microplastics being a cause
When people want kids, they will move heaven and earth.
This post is unreadable. But if you already want a divorce when you're barely in your twenties you should get the divorce. It was a mistake to get married and you're wasting your time.
I suggest you gtfu and manage your house yourself while she is gone.
I think this is totally ridiculous and probably fake.
You seem completely normal and reasonable me. Ditch this asshat and find someone who isn't insecure and manipulative.
i figured it out
To add, if you live in the USA most likely you are entitled to half the equity in that house. Doesn’t really matter whose name is on the title.
You’ve spent a full year teaching him that you will do all the work; now you’re upset that he expects you to do all the work.
This isn’t complicated, you just have to woman up and stop acting like an argument is the worst thing in the world.
Why are you so afraid of having a fight about this? You’re choosing to live amongst piss and shit rather than risk upsetting this delicate flower of a boyfriend?
Stop doing his chores, stop cooking his meals, stop washing his clothes, stop cleaning his cat’s piss and shit. Tell him straight forwardly that he cannot live in your house if he’s not going to pull his weight.
Why does he need to be protected from your feelings? Will the reality of the stress and exhaustion and anger he’s causing you cause him to disintegrate or something?
Woman up. Stand up for yourself and your sanity. Stop babying this grown man.
Sorry if this is too straight forward but. What you wrote, for any human to deal with, what you suffer from and mental health is going to be too much for them.
You are not at all ready for a relationship and its clearly driving him to depression.
For me “joking” with break up if you do (or don't do) something is a big red flag to me.
The way you describe the situation it's a deal breaker for me, she sounds rude and selfish: 'I like bodies with more fat so get fat or else' , sorry but no. If you are happy with your body and are healthy go with it.
I'm aware.