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Date: November 5, 2022
So your husband is consistently under the influence of pot?
If it was once in awhile I’d say no problem
However once a child is in the picture you NEED a sober parent……as in you can’t have someone constantly high and even worse driving under the influence!! What if there’s an accident and the authorities discover he’s consistently high? You’ll end up with child protection services on your case
You say he’s now back-pedalling….so in other words he’s going back on his word and doesn’t respect you enough to cut down
Please don’t have a child with this guy, he obviously has gotten to a point where if he can’t function without pot he has an issue and things are only going to get worse since he doesn’t think there’s a problem
I’d give him an ultimatum that he either quits pot or you walk away
This has a strong scent of It’s Not About The Iranian Yogurt.
With him I never had protected sex yea. But with others I always used condoms, besides that one night stand
No way
I disagree about the age gap, but I respect your perspective!
Honestly, her financial aid situation is odd. It’s obviously given out per semester, but you typically file FAFSA annually—It’s odd that she’s just finding out about a change in her Spring 2023 financial aid package in January, right before classes start. It makes a little more sense to me if this was some type of school-based or other private loan or grant because that wouldn’t necessarily be tied to FAFSA.
She didn’t make a mistake. She made a choice. A great big, sustained choice. The amount of effort that goes into disentangling yourself from a spouse via divorce, there’s no fucking way to characterize that as anything less than 100% deliberate.
She’s the kind of woman who would leave a marriage because she likes the attention. In your shoes, I wouldn’t be willing to risk a repeat.
He sounds like he has some sort of social issues…
Exactly. This is a leave-and-learn situation. She needs to preserve herself and in the future be included on joint finances.
He needs to learn that instant gratification in no way contributes positively to a marriage. He needs to learn the hard way for him to actually grasp his mistakes. Otherwise, he won't change.
OP, I hope you get far away from him and are kind to yourself whilst healing. Sorry, dear.
Right! I’d take my health insurance and leave him high and dry!
I didn’t make her take care of him. He has Parkinson’s, he can still sort of take care of himself. My daughter told me that she took care of him when she was little. I didn’t know all that. All I know was I had to leave the country to work for the family while my kids lived with their dad. My late husband elderly mom lived with them. I didn’t know that she had my daughter become a caregiver. My daughter is blaming me for everything.
It’s not my only decision to give them the same name as her step siblings. My late husband was also in on it. But she’s only blaming me.
I mean, it wouldn’t have occurred to me to do before, but now that the idea has been planted…
So I thought he said all these things but really you “filled in” his eyebrow talk ? He said nothing! Probably enjoying the afterglow of sex not listening. His “face”/grimace might be because he didn't feel like chatting (oh no, not talking again) not the body aspect. You manufactured this argument.
It is just understood. For normal, healthy relationships.
Because the actual rates of failing are as low as your sperm count. And even more after the healing stages when life can still find a way.
First you get sniped, then you wait 2 months and you do a sperm count. If there is nothing canals are properly severed and the risk of reconnecting is so low it's freak town business (like you should be dissected for science).
So as to OP, tell him you don't know how but you are and he needs to be checked and you volunteer for dna test asap.
I did choose to cut her off completely and said if hes around im not around and I find out that when I’m saying this she ditched work to go to his house because his girlfriend wasnt home and she laughed at me over the phone in front of him. She was never like this and it sucks. But thank you, this really does help
Unfortunately that is what is at the back of my mind
Yeah, he has an addiction by the sounds of it.
You ever want something so badly you convince yourself it’s okay to do? Maybe that’s him.
An addiction is something constantly on the mind, always having to remind yourself of reasons why you shouldn’t do it. You want to do it so you have to struggle with justifying why you have to stop yourself. The addiction gets to the front of everything, it comes to mind so often it’s just at the front of everything so other things can seem like an afterthought. Whatever that addiction is, it feels good, that’s why people do it, so not doing it is like denying yourself a release. When you remember a thing feeling good it can be hard to not fantasize about it and want it. That wears on a person, why so many fall off the wagon, resolve is hard to keep up. Always having to remind yourself why you do it, it can be easy to fantasize about reasons that would make it okay to give in. ‘This would be fine if society just stopped getting hung up on this silly thing’. Bam, now the problem is society not your own urges, your urges are fine. Or ‘no one is hurt if no one finds out’.
Why is he doing this? Why can’t he choose your relationship? Probably because it lives in his mind at the front of everything, like a constant devil on the shoulder, whispering in the ear. That’s why it feels like the relationship is an afterthought, even if he does actually care about it.