I was in a similar situation. File a police report and get out. After 7 years of living in a sexually abusive marriage I am completely messed up from any kind of physical contact. RUN!
He doesn't like your figurines, but expects to be able to have his and also his own gamer decor too?
This isn't a “compromise” even, he just refuses to let you have any say with things you like, while expecting to do what he wants.
Why can't you both share a display case? Him with one level you with another or something?
Why does he get his Gamer decor up while you seem to get none of your own?
This isn't a shared house, not when it's basically his and you're a visitor and there's no sign two people live there.
Sit his backside down and level with him that this isn't fair, it's not reasonable, if you live together you compromise and go 50/50 as if you're splitting bills, you get a say.
If he doesn't like your figurines, well don't look at them – they're horses for pete's sake it's not like they're obscene – if he gets to have his stuff on show then so do you and that means not hiding them away as no disrespect here but while I don't mind Funko Pops, nor Horses, if he's going to be childish and petty over his stuff taking precedence and being “ok” while yours is “creepy” you have bigger issues to handle that should precede you living together.
OP, ThomasEdmund84 here is absolutely correct on this. Please think very carefully about whether to read that note or not, and have a strong support system ready if you decide you will. A family friend of ours, basically an uncle to me, his mother committed suicide on his birthday when he was a teenager and left him a note. He finally read it in his late 20s, and even though the note said her actions weren't because of him (mental illness), the things she did write wrecked him. It's been almost 40 years, and it still haunts him.
Those notes are one-way conversations, and it could leave you with more questions than answers and a deep-seated feeling of a conversation that wasn't finished and never can be.
I'm sure you have discussed all of this with her before, but I would break up with her, tell her you love her but you cannot be with her when she and her family condones her behaviour and the amount of control (money/location etc) that he has over her.
That when you have kids you would NEVER allow them to be around someone like that, so instead of making her choose between the two of you, you are leaving.
Assuming you have done all of this already, how did that go?
Work on your self confidence and self esteem. Join a gym and eat healthy…get into healthy habits. Create a safe space in your house with plants and candles, crystals or anything that makes you feel safe and good. Start a journal. Have mental clarity. A healthy body and a healthy mind will boost your self confidence. Eventually those feelings of jealousy will go away because there's nothing more attractive than a confident woman.
I need to know what he does for a living to be able to view porn, and whack it everyday with no one hearing him. Or is he working remotely. I’ve never heard anything like this. This is disgusting, and a deal breaker of epic proportions. It’s giving weirdo, creep, sociopath vibes. Run you in danger girl.
Even if he doesn’t do anything tonight, it doesn’t sound like you’ll ever fully trust him. How long have you guys been together? Is this a long distance relationship?
Thank you very much. My opinions and worldview have been carefully curated over decades of life-experience. It's pretty well-developed and based on real-world knowledge of people, relationships,and social interaction. I don't need someone sitting across a table from me, with less than half of the life experience I have, telling me how the world is supposed to operate.
First I thought she felt he was being inappropriate because she had gotten pregnant and he couldn't keep his hands to himself.
Then I read the had a miscarriages less than 2 weeks ago and got upset thinking he was pushing for sex while she was still recovering mentally and physically.
But no it got worse. She's not only recovering from a miscarriage, which must have left her completely heartbroken, she also had surgery leaving her in extreme physical pain as well.
He should be worried sick about her and doing everything in his power to support her but there he is giving her the silent treatment because she isn't happily gobbling on his dick.
I was in a similar situation. File a police report and get out. After 7 years of living in a sexually abusive marriage I am completely messed up from any kind of physical contact. RUN!
Guess it’s time to pack it up and go home since everybody’s so loose nowadays
YES say something to your friends!
You and people reading this need to learn to trust our guts!
He tried to pick up a teenager for fucks sake, please call out predatory behavior when you see it.
Bring this fool here so we can educate him!
So basically it's one rule for you, one for him.
He doesn't like your figurines, but expects to be able to have his and also his own gamer decor too?
This isn't a “compromise” even, he just refuses to let you have any say with things you like, while expecting to do what he wants.
Why can't you both share a display case? Him with one level you with another or something?
Why does he get his Gamer decor up while you seem to get none of your own?
This isn't a shared house, not when it's basically his and you're a visitor and there's no sign two people live there.
Sit his backside down and level with him that this isn't fair, it's not reasonable, if you live together you compromise and go 50/50 as if you're splitting bills, you get a say.
If he doesn't like your figurines, well don't look at them – they're horses for pete's sake it's not like they're obscene – if he gets to have his stuff on show then so do you and that means not hiding them away as no disrespect here but while I don't mind Funko Pops, nor Horses, if he's going to be childish and petty over his stuff taking precedence and being “ok” while yours is “creepy” you have bigger issues to handle that should precede you living together.
OP, ThomasEdmund84 here is absolutely correct on this. Please think very carefully about whether to read that note or not, and have a strong support system ready if you decide you will. A family friend of ours, basically an uncle to me, his mother committed suicide on his birthday when he was a teenager and left him a note. He finally read it in his late 20s, and even though the note said her actions weren't because of him (mental illness), the things she did write wrecked him. It's been almost 40 years, and it still haunts him.
Those notes are one-way conversations, and it could leave you with more questions than answers and a deep-seated feeling of a conversation that wasn't finished and never can be.
I'm sure you have discussed all of this with her before, but I would break up with her, tell her you love her but you cannot be with her when she and her family condones her behaviour and the amount of control (money/location etc) that he has over her.
That when you have kids you would NEVER allow them to be around someone like that, so instead of making her choose between the two of you, you are leaving.
Assuming you have done all of this already, how did that go?
Work on your self confidence and self esteem. Join a gym and eat healthy…get into healthy habits. Create a safe space in your house with plants and candles, crystals or anything that makes you feel safe and good. Start a journal. Have mental clarity. A healthy body and a healthy mind will boost your self confidence. Eventually those feelings of jealousy will go away because there's nothing more attractive than a confident woman.
Never heard of that. I know I have “middle age guy bladder that won't let me sleep through the night without at least one trip to the John” issues.
I need to know what he does for a living to be able to view porn, and whack it everyday with no one hearing him. Or is he working remotely. I’ve never heard anything like this. This is disgusting, and a deal breaker of epic proportions. It’s giving weirdo, creep, sociopath vibes. Run you in danger girl.
Even if he doesn’t do anything tonight, it doesn’t sound like you’ll ever fully trust him. How long have you guys been together? Is this a long distance relationship?
I don’t think they’d have to look very hard
Thank you very much. My opinions and worldview have been carefully curated over decades of life-experience. It's pretty well-developed and based on real-world knowledge of people, relationships,and social interaction. I don't need someone sitting across a table from me, with less than half of the life experience I have, telling me how the world is supposed to operate.
It just kept getting worse.
First I thought she felt he was being inappropriate because she had gotten pregnant and he couldn't keep his hands to himself.
Then I read the had a miscarriages less than 2 weeks ago and got upset thinking he was pushing for sex while she was still recovering mentally and physically.
But no it got worse. She's not only recovering from a miscarriage, which must have left her completely heartbroken, she also had surgery leaving her in extreme physical pain as well.
He should be worried sick about her and doing everything in his power to support her but there he is giving her the silent treatment because she isn't happily gobbling on his dick.
I just can't with this guy.