It's called a bodycount. Many many men have a very strong boundary about it. You might think it's insecurity, but for most men, it has nothing to do with that. It may be as simple as him wanting to share firsts with you. But now that you're “experienced” he can't.
Don’t listen to the blue balls stuff. It happens, yes, but it’s not something that any woman should ever take on as their responsibility.
It sounds like you found a decent, respectful guy. If he’s not pushing, try and let go of the pressure to have PIV sex. In many ways, y’all are already having sex. The making out and hands are all part of foreplay will likely eventually lead to PIV, but not having PIV doesn’t meant you’re not having sex (big picture…people get stuck in semantics, but for you, right now, it’s healthier to give yourself the credit for what you HAVE done physically, and not what you haven’t). The more comfortable you become with the physician stuff you’re doing now, the easier it’ll be to listen to yourself and know when you’re ready for something more.
She feels hurt by what I did. I made a post regarding what she said I made her feel like, and it seems like generally speaking a lot of people were quick to call me an abuser, and it made me really think about the things we did in regards to sex in a different light. She truly believes I hurt her and there's nothing I can do to change that. I don't know what to think anymore. It's hard to move on when someone who once did treat me with more love than most turned sour and then told me she felt like our sex life was poisoned by my actions.
Thank you for your reply. Swearing has been a very clear point of mine to not do so in arguments because they are very emotionally loaded. Often they escalate the problem (I have found).
I agree that everyone needs to be helping out around the house. I do notice he cleans when I'm not home or when I'm doing something else. And I do so as well. We don't really keep tabs on the other person. However in this situation, I feel like it was put on me specifically to hurt me, or to be like F.U.
Just call time of death. He has no serious intentions towards you, and I doubt he ever did. Men who consume the kind of content you described give me the ick. And he sent it to you??? Ew. Lack of sexual discipline grosses me out.
If you don’t want to get hurt again, don’t trust words. Only actions. And his actions are showing you he does not care. You are an easy access sex object to him. And honestly, he’s saying it with his words too. Pay attention to what he’s really saying. You’re not worth celebrating holidays with or defending from poor behavior.
And be prepared for him to come running and begging and changing his tone as soon as you turn cold. Know that it’s fake and temporary. He’ll go back to being the same unreliable d bag next week if you cave. And you deserve better than that.
She should change therapists as someone mentioned. Is there anything she can be doing to improve her medical condition that she isn't doing? Is there any hope that I could get better?
I mean, does he act like this in a professional setting too?! In public? With his friends? At some point, he MUST know he's not funny. Atleast someone has rejected this farce.
You said you have a therapist in another comment; Maybe bring up that quote from your dad with your therapist. That's not a healthy thing to believe let alone tell a child.
Run! Like wtf? Why do people put up with shit from other people…this is so not ok. If it makes you uncomfortable leave…you should always ALWAYS have your shit together and ready to Leave any situation at any moment.
She rejected you, but did it in the nicest way possible. Sorry, bud
Except U.S. adoptions are already overwhelmed. If she can find a family thats great but given the current climate thats unlikely.
It's called a bodycount. Many many men have a very strong boundary about it. You might think it's insecurity, but for most men, it has nothing to do with that. It may be as simple as him wanting to share firsts with you. But now that you're “experienced” he can't.
Agree. One million percent.
Don’t listen to the blue balls stuff. It happens, yes, but it’s not something that any woman should ever take on as their responsibility.
It sounds like you found a decent, respectful guy. If he’s not pushing, try and let go of the pressure to have PIV sex. In many ways, y’all are already having sex. The making out and hands are all part of foreplay will likely eventually lead to PIV, but not having PIV doesn’t meant you’re not having sex (big picture…people get stuck in semantics, but for you, right now, it’s healthier to give yourself the credit for what you HAVE done physically, and not what you haven’t). The more comfortable you become with the physician stuff you’re doing now, the easier it’ll be to listen to yourself and know when you’re ready for something more.
She feels hurt by what I did. I made a post regarding what she said I made her feel like, and it seems like generally speaking a lot of people were quick to call me an abuser, and it made me really think about the things we did in regards to sex in a different light. She truly believes I hurt her and there's nothing I can do to change that. I don't know what to think anymore. It's hard to move on when someone who once did treat me with more love than most turned sour and then told me she felt like our sex life was poisoned by my actions.
Thank you for your reply. Swearing has been a very clear point of mine to not do so in arguments because they are very emotionally loaded. Often they escalate the problem (I have found).
I agree that everyone needs to be helping out around the house. I do notice he cleans when I'm not home or when I'm doing something else. And I do so as well. We don't really keep tabs on the other person. However in this situation, I feel like it was put on me specifically to hurt me, or to be like F.U.
Just call time of death. He has no serious intentions towards you, and I doubt he ever did. Men who consume the kind of content you described give me the ick. And he sent it to you??? Ew. Lack of sexual discipline grosses me out.
If you don’t want to get hurt again, don’t trust words. Only actions. And his actions are showing you he does not care. You are an easy access sex object to him. And honestly, he’s saying it with his words too. Pay attention to what he’s really saying. You’re not worth celebrating holidays with or defending from poor behavior.
And be prepared for him to come running and begging and changing his tone as soon as you turn cold. Know that it’s fake and temporary. He’ll go back to being the same unreliable d bag next week if you cave. And you deserve better than that.
She should change therapists as someone mentioned. Is there anything she can be doing to improve her medical condition that she isn't doing? Is there any hope that I could get better?
Or she’s already pregnant and needs to find someone that can actually provide child support
The best thing for you to do is the hardest thing to do. Make a plan. A six month plan and a year plan.
First get a job. Do not tell your parents exactly what you make so you can save some money.
Second, look for roommate, rent a room opportunities so you know what moving out will cost you. And you know realistically what you need to save.
Third, look at local community colleges so you can know what they cost and how to finance them. Take a class or two.
This will slowly wean your parents of being dependent on you. It will also help you not to be emotionally dependent on your mom’s approval.
Incredible story. What a strong woman you must be. He'll be nothing but proud of you. You must tell him.
Definitely don't fuckin marry her, that's for sure
I mean, does he act like this in a professional setting too?! In public? With his friends? At some point, he MUST know he's not funny. Atleast someone has rejected this farce.
Burn everyone to the ground.
You said you have a therapist in another comment; Maybe bring up that quote from your dad with your therapist. That's not a healthy thing to believe let alone tell a child.
It feels pathetic to say anything to him
If that’s her reason and she ended it I’d respect that.
Run! Like wtf? Why do people put up with shit from other people…this is so not ok. If it makes you uncomfortable leave…you should always ALWAYS have your shit together and ready to Leave any situation at any moment.