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??????? ????, 22 y.o.
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Date: October 17, 2022
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“just cause [hypothetical universal experience] wasn't your experience doesn't mean it's not true”
Actually that's pretty much exactly what it means. Sorry you went through what you specifically went through though.
You're too accepting in my eyes. And now that you got the ring, you will accept anything, in his eyes.
It's cute and wonderful to accept people you love, flaws and all but it's not cool when you start accepting minimal effort on their part. Relationships are daily, constant work… You “trained” this man to do less and less. I don't have the correct terms, “trained” sounds awful kinda… maybe “conditioned?”
Either way, you're too accepting of no effort in a relationship. It doesn't matter how much you love someone, you don't accept certain shortcomings.
He shouldnโt even be living with a girl while heโs in a relationship. This is my opinion. My gf is currently looking for a place to live and Iโm pretty against her moving in with any single guys. If she does I might dump her depending on the situation. I would just get an apartment with her but weโve only been together for a few months.
Good luck tho. If he doesnโt want you two crossing paths thatโs a huge red flag in my book
Healthy boundaries are fineโฆ having issues with talking to people of the opposite sex thats not a healthy boundary
Instead he should work on his insecurity, a much better and healthier way to get past this problem
I would recommend NOT becoming a SAHM (stay at home mom) unless yโall have a pre-nup with agreements where he is paying into your retirement fund at equal percentages to either what he is putting towards his retirement fund or equal percentages to what your job would be matching. Also, he should give you a monthly stipend that is strictly your money to do with as you please for yourself separate of household/child/shared funds. That will basically become your paycheck, and it should increase every year to account for cost of living increases. Any bonuses/etc he receives, you should immediately be entitled to 50% of it because without your work at home, he wouldโve never been able to earn that bonus. There should also be a clause in the pre-nup that affords you protections to get back on your feet/help you get back in the work force without any strife if yโall were to divorce/separate.
Iโm 100% serious on that. Protect yourself financially. It is so easy for a SAHP (stay at home parent) to end up being financially abused and have no way of stopping it. During your potential time as a SAHM, you will be losing out on career advancements, raises, bonuses, experience, etc and even after just a year or two, youโll be behind the current practices in your field and will be passed over in the hiring process and/or be hired at less pay than your coworkers.
I personally do not recommend being a SAHP. I understand lots of people see being a SAHP as the best for their family, but remember that to take care of your family, you need to take care of yourself first.
Thank You. I needed a dose of reality.
You're not a crazy dog lady. If someone did that to one of our animals they would be picking up their teeth. We get all guilty when we scold them. You HAVE to draw the line, paco needs TLC. You don't know his past, he was probably scolded way too much to shake in fear. He barks in the night because he may hear something and he instinctively goes into protection mode. Let your bf know that he just can't do that and playtime need to be more gentle.
Wrong
Oh, that's what you mean. Amy didn't tell me not to invite my girlfriend. Amy did say that she would rather it be two of us, yes.
โ
I took your comment literally – and she did not literally say “do not invite Beth.”
People help people all the time. Itโs what any decent person does for another. Him alternating that with putting you down is a form of gaslighting and keeps you confused as to his motives. You start to doubt yourself. He keeps you running on shifting sand. Real, healthy love isnโt this exhausting or confusing. Trust me. This is not love.
That is such a hard to read sub. So deplorable to see all the “pity-me” perspectives in there. The ones showing true remorse, I'm proud of them, but 9/10 of those posts carry a sentiment (I even saw this phrase written three times in my hour long browse) of “this is the worst thing that has ever happened to me”.
Op, show your girlfriend this thread. This is my advice.
You guys will just resent each other. Know that if you get pregnant and have an abortion you will end the relationship. Might be easier to end now.
OP dated this guy for a year and is trying to make herself into the Main Character. The death of a child is worse than death for most parents. They have other things to worry about.
Do you love him/are you in love?
Why would you ask him to rate you? Very immature.
This is a good example of โfuck around and find outโ
If you donโt wanna find out, donโt fuck around.
this is your own fault. Get therapy, you have serious self esteem issues.
He repeatedly raped you. Why are you with this guy? Let your โbest friendโ have him.
yeah i mean, at that point he was probably just doing it because you were there, but the moment you left he was probably looking elsewhere alerady not great to hear, but i think that's the likely story here.
Let him support his damn self. Move on.
Well said. ?
Looks like you both learned FWB is more risky than it seems. This is too much angst for a relationship that isn't a relationship yet, so I think you should tell her you can't give her what she wants so as a friend you'll step back so she's free to find it with someone else. Don't expect her to take it well though.
dont know why everyone assuming on here im on my knees begging for anything ?. i went in my room and locked the door, asked her whats going on the next day and put the ball in her court.
Profiting off addiction has a reserved seat in hell, that ahit is no good, get out now
Sorry I donโt understand how you can just dismiss it as, I donโt want to ruin her birthday Iโll talk to her later. Do you enjoy the lack of respect? Tell her that she obviously doesnโt see your relationship the same way you do. Youโll be moving out, and have to think about whether to stay in he relationship with her.
The Kiss was gonna happen sooner or later tho because we've been super close friends for a while
I would just stop discussing it. And start looking for your own place because heโs probably going to move her in.