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Date: October 23, 2022
The thing about having low self-esteem is that to really change it he has to change him'self' (see what I did there). You can encourage him to be positive, give him tips to change his mindset but he has to push himself to change how he sees himself. That being said here's a few tips…
Be specific with compliments – 'you're so amazing' can feel generic if said too often without context. Try to say things like “I love that you made me an amazing grilled cheese”.
Avoid saying perfect, try something like 'you're my imperfect person and I want to be with all parts of you'.
Encourage him to do therapy or to journal positive thoughts. Encourage him to practice the grateful exercise -waking up and thinking something positive about himself, even if all he can think is the fact that he's healthy.
What if the reason why he's struggling is because she's not available for sex? Gatekeeping someone's libido is kinda fucked up if you're not giving them an alternative. I think this guy felt bad for the woman he loves and agreed to her terms without thinking about his own needs, and it ended up badly because having a healthy sex drive requires some form of release.
If you look at the age gap, I can see why heβs insecure lol
You cant set yourself on fire to keep others warm.
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To start off with, have you ever thanked him for his cards? For the rest, it sounds as if you've been on the receiving end of misinformation, possibly from all sides of your family. Have you ever had a real conversation with him? When your mother told you to call him back & tell him you hated him, is that how you felt or were you just doing what your mother told you to do? How many of your feelings towards/about him are absolutely your own and how many are just the regurgitation of your mother's?
Being edgy or messing around with people still makes you a complete asshole. Youβre a bigger asshole for seeing it play out and not correcting his behavior
The money is gone and so should she be. Lol
YES HES A 6β6 HUNK OF MUSCLE WITH A SILVER TONGUE
But theyβre a couple of passionate artists, silly, donβt you understand the rules of morality donβt apply :/
I understand where you're coming from but our views are very opposite for this.
Get a lawyer.
Walk away. First. You absolute threatened her. Second. You use the word hate about each otherβs children? Third. She spit on you. This is toxic and youβre children donβt need to be exposed to this.
How drunk was your husband?
Ooof I feel that. I've been a wife for over a decade and a mom for almost 4 years and man it is easy to lose your identity in that.
It sounds like maybe it had nothing to do with this guy and it was just someone who saw you. You weren't a mom or a wife you were just you and it is so awesome being seen.
My gut tells me you are right and she might be pregnant if he is supporting her like thatβ¦
you've got a great plan there, stick with it, it'll work out
No. If someone refuses your request to not put something in your mouth – and they do so anyway- they violate your consent. They no longer get that act. I would honestly feel unsafe with this person.
How do you really feel about your boyfriend? Is he a safe person?
Don't entertain this relationship, end it and find someone who has their life together.
I mean it takes two to therapy
You might not have the bandwidth for studies and a relationship at the same time, and shouldnβt feel guilty about meeting your self care needs.
Heβs a grown man, and should be able to decide if dating someone who sees him once a week or less (which is what it sounds like) works for him.
You also need to ask yourself how happy you are with him – if you see time with him as a chore, rather than a fun break from school stress, he might not be right for you.
Sheβs a narcissistic, manipulative being and doesnβt earn the trust and love youβre putting into her. Save yourself and leave. Find someone thatβs not broken which you love as equally and put a ring on her.
But please see a psychiatrist once you left her otherwise youβre in danger to get to another lunatic again.
She wants to dictate the food you eat.
It is actually fine to be a picky eater, as long as you don't make it other people's problem. You manage just fine, she just feels entitled to managing your dietary choices and guilts you when you don't comply.
People who feel frustrated that other adults don't want to eat the things they choose are really really weird. I'd nope out of there.
Just let him go. He wants porn. Let him have it. Work on yourself and find a man who doesn't prioritize porn.
As a married couple, I donβt know why the two of you wouldnβt shared financial information. Seems reasonable.
She's being intrusive. “Just out with some friends. See you later.” Or fail to respond if she asks somewhere on social media. If she asks for a friend's name & socials, “I don't hand out peoples' name & socials without their consent. I'm sure you understand.” (Or stop hanging out with someone like her!)