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ANAL SEX MACHINE IN FREE/CONTROL69TK [1826 tokens remaining]
Date: September 28, 2022
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WeekendPussy
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You’ve stated how you feel and gave us a summary of what’s going on from your perspective, but unless I am missing something, you aren’t asking for advice. What are you asking us to give advice on? Whether your boundaries are uncommon/strange? Whether you should be able to have those boundaries? Whether it’s a red flag he doesn’t seem aligned with those feelings? Something else?
If you look at the age gap, I can see why he’s insecure lol
Fuck his wife. Establish dominance.
My wife and I have 2 boundaries we live by that have worked for a great 50-year marriage. 1. If you would not do it in front of your spouse or without their knowing approval… don't. 2. Do not allow yourself to be in a situation or environment in which an inadvertent violation of #1 has even the slightest potential to occur.
If you do this, you break both of those boundaries. You know it is wrong. You are just hoping for validation to do what you want. You are not going to find it. Is it worth lying to your wife directly or by omission and breaking her trust?
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Lame, but I guess your right. I cant wait my whole life. And this “selfless” approach just leaves me miserable and on edge. It sucks its taken me this long to realize, I just dont matter enough to make any changes.
Please understand that my issue here is not him being with another person. For all that matters, he was not in a relationship with me, and therefore he was more than free to be in a relationship with whoever he felt like.
My isse is that, even though he has been in a serious relationship with someone else for months, he tried to sleep with me.
This person has cheated on me in the past, and now tried to do the same to someone else using me for that. I don't understand how can someone do this to a friend. When I noticed (by my own) that he was probably in a relationship, I stay his friend, but respected the fact that he was moving on. I would never try to get him back.
When I say I have lost a lover, I don't mean that in a boyfriend/girlfriend way. For years this person has been trying to get me back, with all of what it entails…
Last, as I mentioned, I never told him about any of my relationships because they never got serious, it wouldn't make sense for me to tell him. The problem is that I think they never got serious because of him. Even when I tried to distance myself from him, he wouldn't let me. He would get depressed and even at one time spoke about suicide.
I did get therapy for years, but I guess it wasn't enough.
Thank you for you comment.
Exactly. If I knew my baby had been give edibles I'd have instantly dragged him off to the ER without hesitation. I'd say she's negligent.
That’s because she literally claims she made him wait, that’s how she talks about the time before they had sex. check out her post on marriage about it
Not that it needs to be said, but like our teachers always told us, “Correlation does not equal causation.”
Get a lawyer.
Definitely divorce him. Never forgive a cheater! He isn't sorry and he will do it again at the first opportunity.
If you care about him you won't try to be his friend.
You both need to need to heal from the break up and move on and that just won't happen if you are in regular contact. It will make processing your hurt and emotions so much more difficult when there is a regular reminder of what you lost.
Once you both have no romantic feelings for each other, no anger, no hurt, and can think about each other in neutral, platonic ways, even when you reminisce about the old times, then maybe you can be friends with each other again.
Until then, trying to be friends will make everything worse.
People like this don’t change
I’ve talked about my insecurities but he says there’s nothing to worry about but in a brushing off way rather than reassuring and that he won’t cheat. As the trip is his priority he doesn’t have much time for what I have to say. I don’t think our relationship is more important than the trip or his friends as he doesn’t prioritise it properly quite a few times. I think just have to wait and see what will happen.
Updateme!
You got the proof. I mean, who the hell does that at a bachelorette party like it's bullshit? Bullshit! You know her, and everybody knew you were together… They are who you thought they were! That’s why you took the damn field! Now, if you want to crown them, then crown their ass! But, they are who you thought they were, and you let them off the hook!
OP, you've mistakingly hooked up with a psycho f*ckboy. It happens to the best of people so don't beat yourself up for it. Just block him everywhere and be more careful about who you're hanging out with in the future.
Who’s money did he use to get you that gift? Expensive gifts mean nothing for someone who didn’t actually pay for it. You’ve been long distance for so long with this guy, you grew from a teenager to a young adult and he seems totally stagnant. This is the perfect time to cut the fat and go after what you really want out of life. Is it really being 2nd/3rd priority to a dude you almost never see, who has no forward momentum?
He sounds like a terrible person. I’d go no contact – he clearly doesn’t care about you or the child you were carrying. Talking to him is unlikely to be anything but painful for you.
I’d recommend spending your time in therapy instead. You’ll get a lot more closure that way than by speaking with your ex.
I’m glad you are self aware in this situation and know how YOU feel. That’s a great place to start.
It’s hard when someone is going through their own mental health journey. Medications adjust people and it takes time to get into new routines.
That said, you’re also allowed to have needs. If your need is more quality time, you’re allowed to communicate that and see if it’s achievable. If it’s not, then you need to start asking yourself if the relationship is working for you in the way you need it to.
You can’t make assumptions for them. Make sure it’s clear you’re going to take their words AND actions at face value. If something else is holding them back from spending time with you (like depression or side effects from medication) they need to communicate that.
Like I said, we are considering it an addiction as he can't stop willingly. And he told me he'd try his best to stop and not hide anything from me anymore. So I'll try my best to trust he'll do as he says.
The age gap was something I was uncomfortable with before we started dating. He was a few weeks away from turning 21 and I felt he was too young for me. I turned him down several times before becoming official. It's not something I think about often. Is it really creepy?
Ya break up. You clearly don't like him. If you were given a pair of shoes and after two weeks, no matter what you've done, they hurt your fucking feet and didn't fit, would you keep wearing them or would you just stop?
we both really love one another, but I want her to have better.
Okay, we need to build this from the ground up.
The first problem you're having is that you've watched too much television. You always see people cheating on each other because there's no reason not to; and even more than that, you see the love triangle. “Oh, man, I can't choose between Alexis and Bryce. I mean, sure, each of them has a different actor, they're not being played by the same person or anything, but that doesn't matter and it doesn't help me choose between them because fundamentally they are the exact same person! There is literally no difference between two different people!” This is how mass media likes to portray romance: as though everyone is completely interchangeable.
In reality, this is not true at all. In reality, relationships take place between people, not bodies. The reason your girlfriend is dating you is not because you just happened to be the only one who asked her out: it's because she's looking for a very specific combination of personality traits, and, thus far, you're the closest she's found to having that configuration. Your prior sexual experience, your body, your conventional attractiveness, do not matter, because that's not why and how she's judging you. That's also not what is going to make her happy. At the end of the day, bodies are wrapping paper. At the end of the day, sexual experience can be learned. (In fact, it has to be learned, since every person wants different things.)
So if you truly believe that she's settling for you, that means you don't respect her or believe she's capable of knowing what she wants.
If you do respect her, then smile and accept it at face value. Part of being in a healthy relationship is not looking the gift horse in the mouth.
You have no idea why she couldn't make your weekend — everybody is fighting secret battles that others know nothing about. Sick family, problems with a friend, problems with her own health, you have no clue. Maybe she's at a point in the relationship where she's not comfortable sharing the specific reason, so she said some BS. It happens.
So you swallowed the red pill and decided to make a power play. And you f*cked around and found out.
by taking the power away from her and not pursuing and begging her can I ask advice on if I played it right… I am starting no contact now
If your goal was to end the relationship, you played it perfectly.