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Date: October 6, 2022
Not necessarily. There is a perfectly normal condition called cervical ectropion-your vagina is acidic and as your hormone levels fluctuate the cervix retracts and also drops down. When it is exposed again to the acidic environment this is when ectropion happens. In summary, go get it checked out because I had no bleeding or anything and was diagnosed with cervical cancer…which is very very rare so please don't panic at me saying this. I am a Registered Nurse in Family and Women's health.
Lmao are you in support of controlling relationships?
Don't feel guilty. You didnt ask for the present and its not unreasonable to want to see your b/f.
It is unreasonable to expect him to make all the sacrifices though. Why are you allowed to work three times as many hours in your job but he is not allowed to take a job that would allow him to work more?
He needs the money so he needs the job. He also needs to make time for study, and if he wants a g/f then he needs to make time for her, just as you make time for a b/f. Its all a balancing act. But maybe the relationship makes it too difficult and you will need to break up. Its possible. Not saying it has to happen but you guys have to examine your priorities and your options.
I do understand his situation and I think we've communicated enough about it. We've discussed about how to care for him and he opened up about his fears of me getting tired of him and that date places are limited, etc. There are a lot of ways to help him gain more accessibility especially around the house and I've researched about it. But yeah, I sometimes start overthinking. Thank you for your advice
What's a life urine decision? I'm curious
Two of my sister's have done this. I'm not entirely sure on why but I know that one of them was having an issue with fertility. Some women may do it for money from the government as well (I know one of the two got money from the government to help with taking care of her baby).
I do like and hear what you are saying. At the same time, where is the line drawn? When they start chatting personally? When she tells me she no longer wants to be with me because she found that she really likes him? It just seems like it's headed that direction.
So just a question. You caught him flirting with another girl, and then you moved away. So he's been on his own all this time and now he's finally ready to be with you? Why? Who dumped him? Girl, keep the cats, hell get a dog too, and dump this guy. He is not a nice person anyways, so why would you want to stay with him. He wants to get rid of one cat to just gwt another? Why not offer to help you trian them properly if he's so bothered? Screw this guy, he sucks!
So in addition to all of this. He's on probation so he can't leave the state he's in and if I understood correctly he's on sex offender registry my now former partner had been talking with him for months now and had a second Facebook I never found because I was so focused on us. They used me to escape their family and home state and once dude had the money he got them away from me
Break up. You should have done so long ago.
The noise or the dirt are not the main issues here. Rather, it is her manipulation and your willingness to capitulate that are the main problems.
Also, you might need therapy.
She’s being immature and unreasonable. My boyfriend bought me a shirt and it was a children’s size, so I laughed and said “thank you”. I feel like she’s being mean to you and she is spoiled.
It's your own unreasonable thoughts…..
100% that's what it is, it's insecurities.
You need some therapy if you get insecure about that stuff and can't fight it with rational thinking
Tell that to the majority of women then, not to me.
I get the feeling you don't talk to many women
I get your point but he is working and he can decide if responding her is useless, because he could stop responding at any time so it makes no sense giving her the expectation.
She is childish or has an issue that she should work on. Is not normal to expect your partner to answer when they are working, maybe if he's free, sure, but this sounds like she thinks either he is not interested (but they already discussed that) or he is cheating which makes her insecure.
I agree. Maybe if it’s something you extremely want to do, spend a a day or two at a family or friends house and smoke ? If you absolutely need to smoke. Otherwise don’t bring it around him as he made it clear from the start he doesn’t support it. I’m somewhat in a similar situation. My partner is against all drugs and I respect that. I don’t bring it around. And now that I’m pregnant I can’t anyways so maybe it’ll help me stay off weed/nic for the rest of my life. Good luck
I didn’t think of joining an poly groups, but I’ll look into it. Thanks for your advice 🙂
Seriously op sounds 16
10 kids in 5 different homes? Really doubt it. I don’t doubt the kids turned out healthy and loved, but not because of their father.
alright you transphobic piece of shit, it’s obvious you are a missionary only kinda guy. there’s all kinds of sex these days, get with it or get out of the fucking way.
for one thing there are prosthetic pussies just like there are prosthetic dicks but there are many other options! it’s completely possible to have traditional male-female sex with any body types.
Look…some of these women in the boomer gen – they will be dead ass evil to you, to your face. You are only their son's lowly wife or the womb to shove out their grandkids.
But shame them in front of their own gossipy friends? Get Barb and Bitsy and Buffy talking about them? That shit works. It's sad, but it does.
It’s hard to say why he hasn’t responded. But my guess is you are hurt because you feel like you are being used. He doesn’t talk to you unless he wants to have sex with you. It’s a lack of communication. Is it possible you have feelings for him, and that is making it hurt as well? Not sure what your setup is, but I would think that if he gets a girlfriend, he should communicate that to you instead of just leaving you to wonder. Sounds a little disrespectful on his part.
Its hilarious that was the conclusion you got out of that. I agree it was shitty of me to read her diary, but there are things you obviously don’t know, but thats on me for deciding to leave out the rest of the shit shes done lol
Bisexuality in a heterosexual or same-sex relationship adds a layer of complexity
What's the complexity? It's a serious not trying to be funny or anything I just don't understand why would it be more complex?
Are you actually stupid?
If it's a pet-peeve, then it would be dumb to give up the relationship. There are always things about our partners that will annoy us.
If it's a deal-breaker, then you should break up. But if he's been a smoker the whole time you've been together, that doesn't sound like a deal-breaker to me. Unless it's recently become one.
Also, boundaries are not what other people are and are not allowed to do to you; the actually boundary is what you decide you will do in response. telling him not to smoke is not creating a boundary. Telling him if he chooses to continue to smoke past x amount of time that you will break up with him is setting a boundary.
People just trip and fall right into genitals everyday.
Wow you were a clueless moron. Hopefully this makes you grow a Backbone. Your wife is complete trash. She clearly has zero respect for you. Do you have any self respect at all. Time to divorce her, but you sound too weak for that.
Is this relevant to OP who’s dealing with the loss of what he believed to be his future family? Does you pointing this out do anything other than make you look pedantic as fuck?
It sounds like a boundary issue for you and you should discuss what it meant for her and how it makes you feel and use that conversation to make a decision.
Fuckin', show up anyways. It's a house party. Bring a case of beer call it even-stevens.
The responsible thing to do is take her threat really really seriously and call suicide prevention. A couple of days in the mental ward will get old really fast, and she'll never use that threat again.
Source: experience with my narcissistic mother.
No he can't realize anything when his ego is hurt! He can't open his mind!
You shouldn't waste your time trying to teach him normal human behaviour .. he's not stupid but very manipulative! Also a liar! Selfish Abusive Controlling
He can't be wrong..
This is how he thinks:
That didn't happen. And if it did, it wasn't that bad. And if it was, that's not a big deal. And if it is, that's not my fault. And if it was, I didn't mean it. And if I did, you deserved it.
There exist all kinds of versions.
There is plenty of rich men who do this just to enjoy the company of a pretty woman, without anything remotely sexual in the picture.
And it makes total sense, at least logically. They lack time and opportunity to find a partner. What they have plenty of is money. So they pay to get just exactly what they want. A friendly and pretty partner for a few days and no complications pretty much guaranteed, because the partner is hired.
This is such a recent post, I will hopefully give a ‘more’ explanation of my POV and how I understand you a lot.
First have to say that that is legitimately messed.
As genetic/phenomenally motivated agenda go. It’s…well for me, the it’s sunken cost(Co) fallacy times 19939939 and some.
TL: talk to the your dude. Be as honest and cry-ey as you’ve ever been. Truth has that FX’d, at the least. Myself.
Hope is well.
Toxic caregivers are some of the most difficult anythings, all times, all wheres.
I think before you going throwing away the whole relationship you should have a frank discussion that you will not tolerate a relationship where she sits on her ass while you do everything. Yes, while she’s pregnant and healing things will be more on you but once that is over you should make it clear that you both with do about half of the work. My husband and I take turns in most things. Or he cooks and I do dishes. We step up when needed for the other but we mostly divide the work in half. We both work and make about the same but it all goes into one pot for us.
Start talking to him in Danish and act confused when he doesn't understand you.
It's spiteful and petty. I'm not sure if it rises to the level of abuse but adults don't impose punishments on other adults. From the outside it looks like an attempted power play and mostly comes off as pathetic.
Why would you date someone who keeps company like that? That’s the real question. Also, why would your sister know all of these things about him? It’s not like he told her all of that at the party and if YOU invited him into your home while she was over, she likely assumed he was safe and a trusted person. For future reference, don’t hang with people you’re uncomfortable around.
bruh
No your goal was to cheat on him, we’re aware
Good advice thanks.
38 and he was interested in a 21 year old? First massive red flag. I know young people tend to be flattered by an older person's attention and it's quite normal. However it is not normal for an older person to go after someone so young. I am 38, trust me: you will never be mature enough or smart enough to be in a healthy relationship with someone my age. You've not lived much at this stage.
You moved in after 2 months? Second red flag. If a relationship is worth it then there is not need to move fast, you have your whole life to do things.
You were the other woman: that's not a red flag, you should have left, period. No amount of crocodile tears should have made you stay.
This is the moment you need to prove your character, values and boundaries. Do you want to excuse such a behaviour? Really?
Move on, block him and let him deal with whatever. He is not worth it.
Well we definitely agree there are a lot of shitty people.
She's testing you to see what you'll allow her to get away with.
Do NOT trust her.
She's testing you to see what you'll allow her to get away with.
Do NOT trust her.
She's testing you to see what you'll allow her to get away with.
Do NOT trust her.
She 25. She may have resentment over shit like you not taking her to Disney that you need to discuss. But financially? She needs to grow the fuck up.
Right? It wasn't just an idea- OP felt strongly enough about it to start a fight over it.
Sounds like something I would absolutely say. I'm not giving ultimatums. Instead I'll tell you point blank, “You're out of your effing mind if you think I'm putting up with that bullshit.” You want to work towards being in a committed relationship or not? I personally have neither the time, nor the desire, to teach someone how to be relationship material.
He's the weird one at 32. I would've talked like that in my early 20s even with a GF but yeah. I mean at most I'd said that to the my guy friends at the bar like wow lots of hot chicks here. AT THE MOST. I wouldn't start texting people like a teenager.
OP the fact that your marriage ended after less then a year has no bearing on this story whatsoever, it doesn’t matter now and it didn’t matter when you posted to AITA either.
You offer her $20 damn dollars and then offer to be her taste tester so she will send you free food as well ? you’re delusional.
Also stop with the memoir bullshit already. Nobody cares about your stupid life story.
Also, you’re a shit friend and I hope they all cut you off.
No, they don't have the right to dictate your body, you have health concerns due to birth control, you absolutely are allowed to go off it, and if they want to have sex then they can wrap it up. It's not going to hurt them. If they don't want to wrap it up then they didn't want sex all that bad I guess
The more I’ve grown up, the less I want to post personal details of my life, including relationships. Chronically making grand public displays and posting them indicates a need for attention rather than a special relationship
If you keep comparing how his past relationship was to how his current one is then you will be resentful/jealous even if you stay with him for 20 years. This is really a self esteem problem on your end, and if you feed into it then it can cause problems not only in this relationship but with every other one. Chances are that the people you get with were probably with someone else at that point, but remember, every relationship ends for a reason. You need to stop romanticizing his previous relationship in your head, it was probably riddled with problems and issues that you never got to see.
NYC going hard
Depending on how confident you feel about how well your partner understands you, consider bringing this up to them & then bringing this before a relationship counsellor too.
I’m not sure what any of us here can really tell you, especially with just one post’s worth of info.
This may be grass is greener syndrome, but if you happen to carry this feeling into your 30s & the feeling happens to keep developing then before you know it you’ll be stuck with a bunch of resentment looking for any way to escape. Typically when that happens then Useless Fights go ?.
So this is definitely something you should consider dealing with sooner.
Try to determine whether you feel seriously enough about this to bring up to your partner, since I’m sure you don’t want to be stuck with the potential worry that this will cause your partner to feel over nothing. But also don’t be too hasty to repress this, because unless you’re sure this is just grass is greener syndrome then you might find yourself with a mountain of resentment not too far down the line.
In any case your concerns are absolutely valid, and ideally you should feel like you’ve figured that out before you commit to someone. Not just for your own piece of mind, but also because it becomes unfair to who you’re with if they’re ready to get going & you’re still not all that sure.
I don’t think those kinds of statistics are appropriate here. It doesn’t match his situation at all.
OP isn’t a babied husband whose mommy wife suddenly got sick, forcing him into a role that makes him panic and leave. He’s been the caretaker for her for years and years and years. Those statistics you shared are from the women very suddenly getting ill and the partners can’t handle it. OP’s situation is that he has been doing most of the household management and personal caregiving for his wife for almost their entire relationship.
He’s encounter an entirely different and real problem: caregiver fatigue. Burning out from caregiving is unrelated to leaving your partner because they got a sick, like in those studies. This type of burnout affects children caregiving for parents, siblings caregiving for each other, strangers caregiving for patients, friends caregiving for friends… all ages, genders and relationships. He needs assistance with THAT problem, because he HAS been doing the proper caregiving and is now trapped in an unsustainable situation.
Implying that his situation is in any way identical to the trashy husbands who divorce their wives because they got cancer, for example, is insulting to OP and dismissive of the very real and common problem of caregiving fatigue. Don’t make a comment trying to shame him.
You and your boyfriend are at two differing points in your life.
You have teens who are self sufficient. You are used to them being self Sufficient and you have your life structured around activities that you can do because they are teens. It took a lot of child raising to get to this point where your kids are self sufficient.
Your boyfriend has a 5 yr old that he has visitation with. The visitation has two purposes, 1. It gives him quality time to spend raising his child. 2. It gives the biomom a break from being a single parent. Your boyfriend is being completely unfair to you and to his child. He is spending most of his visitation time working and not raising his child. He is expecting or requiring you to babysit or take over the child care/raising because he is gone for most of the time. You raised your kids. It’s his job to raise his. His child is only 5, this is only going to get worse.
So, you need to think about what you want out of the relationship. You love him, you like doing things with him. But, he is requiring you to parent his 5 yr old while he works. I am guessing that wasn’t part of the deal when he moved in?? Do you and he discuss how much involvement you would have in his child’s life?? A 5 yr old needs a lot of attention, and as the child gets older, there will be organized activities, etc. your boyfriend is treating you like you are both married and she is your step daughter that you agreed to participate in raising your step daughter.
If you don’t want that type of relationship, then this isn’t going to work out with your boyfriend. It’s ok to have different goals and different expectations. There really isn’t a compromise because he wants his daughter for the weekend, but isn’t going to hire childcare, you are the free child care. To me this is mutually exclusive needs…
It’s your choice to find a way to make this work, because it’s going to go on like this for the next 10 years… or decide that this relationship doesn’t work and move on…
You have to set a boundary. She goes to therapy and gets the help she clearly needs or you leave and take the kids with you, since she clearly isn’t capable of supporting or raising them right now.
Shhhh this isnt your relationship, just give destructive advice and laugh. /s
Seriously though, this guy might be cheating, he might not be. If wife gets a PI and he wasnt cheating, she is now the one with a secret worth leaving over and he has all the justification he would need. If my wife hired a PI to investigate me Id definitely be peacing out of that relationship pronto, trust is alreafy gone what is there to salvage?
Words are cheap, just look at her actions, it sucks but she isn't attracted to you. She can frame it however she wants, but nothings changed, and the issue clearly lies on her. Cancel the engagement and rethink marrying her. Things won't get better just because you marry her.
Doesn't seem like she's actually working on anything, which is probably why she's not taken seriously. You are also not enforcing any boundaries because you say he can't be uninvited (which is what you should do), and you're seriously considering having your photographers edit around the literal clown.
He's not fucking Pennywise. You two are old enough to get married, so be adult enough to tell him and his enabling parents to knock this shit out. Hell, do get someone to kick him and the parents out if he does show up in anything other than proper attire.
They are saying “we will do the thing” and you two are acquiescing; if you're willing to bend on your wedding day, why would they ever believe you wouldn't bend every other day?
This shit is ridiculous, and you guys are part of the problem if you don't push back hard (since being diplomatic doesn't seem to be working).
I mean, Jesus, this man is 35 and still thinks being “the family clown” is a crown he should he proud of instead of deeply ashamed of. He's pathetic, and everyone (including your fiancee) who allows him to stomp around however he pleases is also an issue.
If anything, he may well be bluffing and getting off on your panic, knowing you're both unwilling to adult up and actually do something about this behavior, and he's creating chaos.
He's a problem, he's not funny, he's not cute, he's a 35 year old man, treat him as such – tell him “We are not discussing this issue again, this is the last time. You will not show up to our wedding in anything but appropriate attire, and if you do, you will be barred from entering, and anyone that agrees with you will also be told not to enter. If you don't want to be a grownup for one day, do us all a favor and don't even show up. That is all”
He’s different with you because you are a different person, not because he is a different person. Maybe that girl asked him to dress up or picked out his clothes, maybe she wanted to meet his friends all at once or already knew them, and she might be the one initiating the hugs in every picture. Instead of waiting for him to read your mind, ask him for what you want.
This needs to be the top freaking comment. You broke it down perfectly!!!
because he’s out with his cousin. It’s totally normal. Was the girl not his cousin?
Tracking your partners location is really fucking crazy
because he’s out with his cousin. It’s totally normal. Was the girl not his cousin?
Tracking your partners location is really fucking crazy
My advice is to poison him, just kidding. There is no advice. He is a wicked man and I think he might hate you a bit. There isn’t any way around it, he is just mean.
If you can afford it, just get the paternity test scheduled ahead of time. Then tell him you’re pregnant, that you think the vasectomy failed, and that you schedule a part with test to assuage any concerns.
Should you have to? Maybe not. But I think it goes a long ways in these potentially messy and unclear situations to be upfront and proactive about ruling out the obvious fears.
it came on all of a sudden because he’s lying about the allergies
Thank you, so much. This helps a lot
Online is different than real life
OP said that he became abusive when her sister got pregnant at 3 months into the relationship. Three months is almost the beginning.
Mostly lies by omission but yes, you're right.
I text my friend more, but hang out in person with my wife more (although much of this time is “low quality” because it's with our kid or just after our kid is asleep). I shouldn't be texting my friend more, I completely agree.
Why couldn't you have pulled out as well as wear a condom (while she tracked her cycle)? What would have been 3 types of contraception.
Its awkward, but you have 3 choices, sit Roger down and say, i'm glad you are back in my life, but i would like My dad of the last 17 years to walk me down the aisle.
That's it, if he is even half decent he will 100% understand, and your grandmother will have accept it.
Or, you have two arms, let them both walk you down the aisle.
Or, let Roger walk you into the church and hand you over at the start of the aisle to your Dad, which would be my personal choice.
Good advice from your friend.
I agree. She needs to show OP all her devices and give him a timeline of all the affairs. She needs to come clean completely before you make any decisions.
OP, you need to be asking some questions here and making a sound decision. You need to come to terms with the depth of deception that years-long affairs take. This isn’t something to sweep under the rug.
Sell your phone that you’re using to post on reddit and use the money to buy a plane ticket back to your mothers home
There is a difference between emergency contacts and sharing information about bus schedules and details of her teachers, etc. Emergency contacts are just that, there to contact in an emergency if the school can't reach the guardians. All educational information AND decisions are only to be made by the legal guardians though. It appears you need to be firmer with the school on this as well as ensure that you have your lawyer write a letter and get it to the school. You also likely need to have your custody agreement updated to curtail this woman and your ex enroaching where they shouldn't.
I too went through something like this. Gf of 3 years cheated on me with a guy she had randomly met at the mall and she broke up with me out of nowhere (did not tell me of the cheating) and when I chose to go no contact she’d come crawling back begging for me to talk to her. I fell for it and kept doing so for a month until I realized the unspecified reason she ended it was because she had cheated and wasn’t sure if she wanted this new exciting thing or the dependable relationship we had built for those years. Had I not picked my sorry ass off the floor and stopped waiting for her to pick me or her affair partner I’d STILL be waiting for her to decide who she liked better.
I lost all of my self respect during that time. I’m still embarrassed of myself and how desperate I was trying to “win” her back. Do not be like me. Move on and work on yourself. If someone is picking between you and a new person let them have the shiny new relationship because if they really wanted you they would’ve never considered another option.
When my “person” ended things with me, I felt the same way. I decided to look at myself and figure out how I wanted to grow from there and be ready for my next relationship. Take time for yourself. Find a new hobby. Join some club or something. The pain won't disappear overnight, but it does lessen over time
Girl what you still fighting eveyone ? this screams “ I’m not jealous but I’m sure he will choose me over her ??♀️” ?
In her defense we've been having record breaking heat in Orlando even if it's not hot.
Okay but what should I do if he claims Sammy is a guy friend?
This OP. This is good advice.
Y'know, when I was typing library, I did have a whole internal thing about if they were the same in Ireland. Sounds like no.
I used to drink alone in pubs in the early 1980s, when I was a young woman. This was in an area where the pubs were real old-fashioned boozers.
There were often old ladies in there, too!
Did you ever meet her face to face?
Going by the start of my relationship with my wife, it would not be pretty. I can't imagine it ending any way close to how it started.
Well we called his lawyer cause the case is still ongoing and they said that if he doesn’t have another address to transfer to they will put him back in jail.
Good news for you: you've only been seeing him for 1.5 months. That makes it easy to walk away.
And what is up with so many people on here not using birth control and then being 'surprised' when someone winds up pregnant? Did he have an STI check done before you started 'dating' him?
Did you even read your own post or comprehend what you have written?
Catching him in another lie won't make the first one go away.
yeah i had an ex do this. he was a total pig and expected me to be his maid. the house was trashed 24/7, shit piled high on every counter, food left out, he completely ignored the presence of a trash can, if i cleaned a spot he’d trash it within ten minutes. he got his mom to come and bitch at me that i wasn’t being a good partner by not cleaning his mess.
this was one of the driving factors in me dumping his useless ass.
Yes, if you didn't give him your consensus you've been molested. This could affect you in your further relation and you should seek help to get over this. And of course cut him completely out of your life