No way in any lifetime would I let my bf come over to use my laptop and search that kind of shit and close all my work tabs. I would put an end to letting him use your stuff and tell him why.
You snooped (which sucked and you shouldn’t do again) and saw that it was not sexy talk, at some point you either trust her or move on
All she is doing is some innocent fun, i speak to plenty of guys every day, same for loads of women, they are gaming friends, their gender doesnt matter
This is simply your insecurity and you need to work through that
She is with YOU, not them, YOU
But if you make a big deal about her male friends that could easily change, no one, no matter the gender, wants an insecure, distrustful, snooping partner
Why are you with him? It doesn't sound like much of a relationship. I would seriously reconsider this situation and ask yourself why! I would also stop inviting him to hang out with you and your friends or family and treat him exactly how he treats you, shut him out. I would've broke up with him after he said about you being around friends and family, that just told me that he doesn't want you around and after 4 years it's not going to change
I don’t blame you at all for how you’re feeling about this situation. Just reading your post made me feel anxious and frustrated. I don’t think it’s controlling behavior when you’re offering responsible solutions to mitigate potential harm. Good luck to you!
You should always be wary of any major changes in problem areas in your relationship that don't occur until AFTER you break up. Especially if those changes have only manifested in him SAYING he's going to do things differently, but no actions yet. You've discussed this with him many times in the past, he was inflexible. Then you left, and suddenly he has changed his mind. The only thing that's changed between then and now is you're gone.
The absolute best case scenario here is that he has changed his mind but he didn't seriously consider the things you were telling him that were very important to you until you left him; basically nothing short of a breakup was going to get him to really consider your point of view. That's your BEST case option, and it's still not great. It means that any major relationship issues you two have going forward might require the same action from you before he'll take them seriously. What happens when you're married and it takes a divorce to get him to say “oh, ok, I guess you're serious, now I guess I'll consider the thing you kept begging me to think about.”
The more likely option is that he hasn't changed his mind about a thing, he just doesn't want to be single. He was very comfortable in your relationship as it was, he made that abundantly clear. So he wants a return to the status quo where you periodically ask him about the future and he makes vague noncommittal noises and does nothing differently, and the best way to get back to that situation is by telling you whatever you want to hear.
Either way I would think long and hard about how sincere you think this change of heart is, and also how permanent you think it is. He may think he means what he's saying right now, but once you're back together and he's comfortable again how confident are you that he'll stay this engaged with the idea of planning a future and not just immediately start coming up with excuses to stall again?
Listen to the advice you are being given, even if it's from us, a bunch of strangers online….have a think about the words of these mums and the others who have been where you are now, and made the same mistakes and suffered through life because if it. Deep down, if you're honest with yourself, you know this is not right for you. Take the advice you've been given. Marry a man who loves you and makes you feel like his Queen every single day. Or go ahead and marry this guy that puts himself first and has zero emotional intelligence. Because let me tell you from experience, once you add a baby or two into this mix your life choices, finances, self respect, self worth, and sanity will take a battering and some your choices will be gone forever. You know what to do. Good luck and stay strong x
4 years ‘older’ is “older”. Not my fault insecure men that can’t keep up with girls their own age tend to look to those younger than them
No way in any lifetime would I let my bf come over to use my laptop and search that kind of shit and close all my work tabs. I would put an end to letting him use your stuff and tell him why.
I think he should given that Women will not give him another option.
I would move somewhere where you both have a support network. It sounds like where you want to go only you do, and where he wants to go only he does?
You snooped (which sucked and you shouldn’t do again) and saw that it was not sexy talk, at some point you either trust her or move on
All she is doing is some innocent fun, i speak to plenty of guys every day, same for loads of women, they are gaming friends, their gender doesnt matter
This is simply your insecurity and you need to work through that
She is with YOU, not them, YOU
But if you make a big deal about her male friends that could easily change, no one, no matter the gender, wants an insecure, distrustful, snooping partner
Why are you with him? It doesn't sound like much of a relationship. I would seriously reconsider this situation and ask yourself why! I would also stop inviting him to hang out with you and your friends or family and treat him exactly how he treats you, shut him out. I would've broke up with him after he said about you being around friends and family, that just told me that he doesn't want you around and after 4 years it's not going to change
I’m not sure because I would have to see a lot of effort on his part for that, but I was honestly willing to give Greg a chance…
It's not just the front either. I'm a man, so take this with a grain of salt, but I am much more worried about the back door than the front
You would be nice and agreeable if he didn’t say stupid shit.
I've been mad about it. I'd like to stop now but I can't XD
I don’t blame you at all for how you’re feeling about this situation. Just reading your post made me feel anxious and frustrated. I don’t think it’s controlling behavior when you’re offering responsible solutions to mitigate potential harm. Good luck to you!
Nothing good can come of this. Do a background check on him.
Nope, neither of us post much so it never mattered to me. But no, she wouldn't know I existed if he didn't tell her
It's your birthday and you got cvcked…
Ok so you were a moron and now are worried. You get what you deserve
Work more, clean more, cook more.. happy wife, happy life!
Are you taking those jabs or are you fighting back?
She sounds like a loser tbh.
Mental illness is not a cause nor an excuse for cheating. No need for armchair diagnosis here, shes just a terrible person.
Some good proactive info. But, it's a state crime.
Ooo. Tht is such a good idea. Thx so much. I'll see what she thinks of this. ?
You should always be wary of any major changes in problem areas in your relationship that don't occur until AFTER you break up. Especially if those changes have only manifested in him SAYING he's going to do things differently, but no actions yet. You've discussed this with him many times in the past, he was inflexible. Then you left, and suddenly he has changed his mind. The only thing that's changed between then and now is you're gone.
The absolute best case scenario here is that he has changed his mind but he didn't seriously consider the things you were telling him that were very important to you until you left him; basically nothing short of a breakup was going to get him to really consider your point of view. That's your BEST case option, and it's still not great. It means that any major relationship issues you two have going forward might require the same action from you before he'll take them seriously. What happens when you're married and it takes a divorce to get him to say “oh, ok, I guess you're serious, now I guess I'll consider the thing you kept begging me to think about.”
The more likely option is that he hasn't changed his mind about a thing, he just doesn't want to be single. He was very comfortable in your relationship as it was, he made that abundantly clear. So he wants a return to the status quo where you periodically ask him about the future and he makes vague noncommittal noises and does nothing differently, and the best way to get back to that situation is by telling you whatever you want to hear.
Either way I would think long and hard about how sincere you think this change of heart is, and also how permanent you think it is. He may think he means what he's saying right now, but once you're back together and he's comfortable again how confident are you that he'll stay this engaged with the idea of planning a future and not just immediately start coming up with excuses to stall again?
I know right? People falling in love and being happily together is just so wrong.
You can say, great byyye
As soon as my blod is clean from alcool
I haven't had a relationship but I wouldn't be able to hook up with other girls if I was in one and it's too serious for me to just jump into that.
Some places you can go to jail for having sex outside of marriage, so even a 6 month relationship would be a HUGE deal.
What is the question?
Thank you for the advice. I just can't find the energy to talk about it right now, but I know it is inevitable.
How about you just ask her? Trying to manipythe conversation or “trick” her into mentioning a boyfriend is really dodgy.
Listen to the advice you are being given, even if it's from us, a bunch of strangers online….have a think about the words of these mums and the others who have been where you are now, and made the same mistakes and suffered through life because if it. Deep down, if you're honest with yourself, you know this is not right for you. Take the advice you've been given. Marry a man who loves you and makes you feel like his Queen every single day. Or go ahead and marry this guy that puts himself first and has zero emotional intelligence. Because let me tell you from experience, once you add a baby or two into this mix your life choices, finances, self respect, self worth, and sanity will take a battering and some your choices will be gone forever. You know what to do. Good luck and stay strong x
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