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????????, 21 y.o.
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Date: December 30, 2022
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I am getting treatment for my anxiety. I have had anxiety for many years before meeting him.
So, the literal words you said really aren't going to describe the 'how you said it' which is what they picked up on.
Were you smiling, not smiling. Did you make eye contact or not. Did you grip his hand tightly in a handshake, or not. Did you wrap your around her, or not. Was your voice higher or lower pitched than usual, did you talk fast or slow, all of that comes up in your tone.
Anxiety tends to tense you up and and trigger a lot of the things that make you seem more closed off and cold. So it's likely you came off that way without meaning to and their reactions are valid to the tone you seemed to have at the time.
You are kind of in the 'wrong' here in that you accidentally came off in a way you didn't intend and should apologize and try to come off better, both to your gf and this guy if you happen to encounter him again.
However, given the overall tone of this post and the fact you got so anxious in the first place, you likely have other trust issues to work out on top of this single instance. The gf at least is probably responding to those issues as well as this exact moment and is letting those issues set the context of the moment.
Either way, you need to do a better job communicating all around. Some key points that I'm calling out in your post:
You've shared locations with each other You waited an hour when you knew she was just around the corner and could have just gone and said hey whenever (assuming she consented to you dropping in on her like that) It seems to be a big deal to you that she hasn't told the guy that she's dating someone – a potentially valid feeling, but I get the sense you're telling reddit this feeling more than you're telling her this feeling You 'left it at that' implying that you don't believe her – trust issue You know she's spending time with a friend but you keep shooting her messages anyway – isn't it a bit rude to constantly be on your phone when you're hanging out with someone? What did you have to say that was so important? At this point I wonder if she even agreed to you 'popping by' in the first place or whether you just kind of pressured on her and she went with it and leaving her phone off was her kind of way of resisting.
Of course, she could be cheating on you with this guy, or wanting to, who knows. The possibility is there. But the possibility is also always going to be there, so, you have to decide whether this is a woman you trust or not.
You might want to speak with a therapist about this. Not saying anything bad about you but it might help you sort out your own feelings and give you better communication skills.
Sorry, I donโt buy it. I donโt buy that sexual trauma makes you involuntarily engage in a kink that humiliates the other person, with no warning. Dump him and make him buy you a new mattress.
What do you mean? I felt Im with someone with no morals. She knew that he was cheating and continued to be with him. She could do the same with me..or cheat idk its weird
The silver lining OP may want to hear is adulterous relationships very rarely work out. Even if they try it will most likely fail very soon.
Who cares about what the numbers mean to him? Itโs just a code to get into the phone, heโs had it for multiple years now so itโs just habit. Whatโs more concerning is him keeping intimate conversations he had with his ex, including pictures. Not to mention the text thread is muted, so that you wouldnโt know if he was secretly texting the ex again. After two years? Those pics and conversations need to be gone after a few months together, let alone two years together.
Only if you got held back or was a super senior. Even then, itโs GROSS to date a sophomore.
Were you taking on your share of household & parenting duties when she was working? Is it possible she found it hard to juggle say 90% of that on top of working?
Damn that was long.
When do you stop? Well, now.
I don't think you have a healthy relationship or at least not meeting the same goals in the relationship. Yeah this is going nowhere.
Haha very funny lol
Stop wits out the situation & do something about it. This is your wedding. Hire security. Tell them one last time that the dress code will be enforced THEN STOP TALKING ABOUT IT! Refuse to be brought into this crazy-making time after time.
Get your fiancรฉe into better therapy right now. Go into her 1st appointment with her & explain the situation to the therapist so that they can work on the right situation 1st. Or start couples counselling too. She needs to find her spine immediately or Iโd postpone the wedding.
Run… druggie are liars. They never tell the truth. They've admitted abhorrent behavior… all that and long distance relationships don't work.
Lmao mans let the intrusive thoughts win.
What the hell???? Why would you want to study in the US when you can study in France for free??? Or somewhere else in europe. The university programs here are often times much better and higher quality. There is absolutely no reason to study in the US except maybe for the college lifestyle, but that is so irresponsible to want him to study there.
I find it bizarre that there seems to be an expectation these days that when someone gets in a new relationship they're supposed to go through their social media and ret-con their life to look like an ex didn't exist. It's just a part of their past.
What is he doing that makes his hobby an addiction? His wifeโs obsession with controlling what he does in his free time that does not negatively impact either of them, does not negatively impact finances or daily activities chores or quality time spent on their relationship is the problem. What if he spent the same amount of time wood working, drawing or playing an instrument instead of gaming, would that be an addiction?
These are the comments I was looking for. The company that mails my birth control pills usually also sends a free condom; so I end up having a few that I hold onto just in case, despite having not used them in years.