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♥Liam♡Milena♥, 21 y.o.
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Date: October 9, 2022
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If that's how you want to do things, it's your life and you can do what you want. Some of your ideas are a bit odd, but seem reasonable.
My only suggestion is you maybe rethink the no living together before marriage thing because that's just a bad idea. You only really get to know a person when you live in the same space. You definitely do not want to get married to someone only to find out living with them is a nightmare… And a couple nights a week is not enough time. Anyone can be on their best behavior for a couple nights, especially when all their stuff is somewhere else. I recommend people live together for at least a year before even considering getting engaged.
Good on you for putting your foot down! Now go out and make yourself the best person you can be!
Im planning on doing this tomorrow, someone else messaged me and told me that most clinics don't charge for that kind of testing
Go buy your own home. Save your Rainey day fund and buy your own place.
What an outdated and sexist idea. It’s the 21st century. There’s this thing called IVF. Another thing called surrogacy. Another thing where many women are perfectly capable of having children even in their early 40s.
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Girl my head hurt from reading all this . OMG who has time or wants to police a grown man. He is a cheater – He has always been a cheater – at some point you are gonna get tired of being disrespected! he is a grown man you are having to watch over like you would a child – just let him go. You will never be able to trust him because he has broken your trust many times. Move on and find a man you. can trust and who will be faithful. Life is hard enough why do you want to be with someone that makes it so much harder ??
Seconding this. Make boundaries and stick to them. Make it clear to him exactly what behavior will make you reduce/cut contact and what behavior will fix things and improve your relationship.
???????????
Yes. The reason why brother has to be in earshot is to be like hell no.
Op, you sound a bit Naïve (no offense) I have a 24yr old friend who thinks everyone is nice and good and goes around thinking nobody will do her harm, and tbh you sound just like her :/ what I will say is this all sounds like you were in a miserable relationship and tried to work on it but didnt have the courage to leave on your own. Cue in the musician and at this point, it could’ve been him or just anyone who gave you the time a day for you to get the ok to leave. What you found is an excuse. A tangible one who validated all of your feelings regarding your relationship and suddenly this made it ok for you to leave. And since you need the constant validation for your decisions, you’re here in reddit asking strangers if what you did is ok. Why am I pointing this out? Im in no way judging you, Im just an outsider with an outside/objective perspective and I want you to realize that you dont need this guy to be in your life to make it ok for you to have a divorce. Your own feelings are/were valid enough. But, just the mere fact that this had to happen in order for you to make a decision , shows how you need more therapy and self work than a new relationship.
Please put yourself first in this case, work on being ok by yourself, less codependent and all around well, mentally and emotionally. If not for you, for your kids. I hope everything works out for you! Also, please think about the dangers of moving in with someone you barely know. Reddit can be a bit intense when everyone is voicing an opinion at the same time, but there’s good advice to be found here and the consensus seems to be the same: dont move in with this dude and be on your own for a while, don’t introduce your kids right away etc. I hope you take the time to read the comments, they come (the majority of them) from a good place.
Best of luck!
There are things you can do which help, but your husband also needs to be flexible.
My husband often worked when my mother visited, and, since he left for work early, he wouldn't see her till evening. My mother and I went away a lot at weekends to visit interesting places, which also helped, and usually also took a week's holiday together somewhere during her visits. She generally visited for 4 to 8 weeks once a year, so I made a big effort to give my husband space.
In addition, my husband learned my language, so he never felt excluded from the conversation when people visited from my home country. He thought it was important that I was able to speak my language in my own home. I think it's fair that if you marry someone, you make the effort to learn their language and understand their culture, otherwise you never really understand them. You should also understand that your spouse has relatives and friends who will want to visit and find a way to make that work. You can rent an airbnb if you are short of space.
This is correct, in my opinion, depending on the disability. I am Autistic, that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t have kids. My dad is pretty outwardly Autistic, and he’s an amazing dad, so I also have the viewpoint from someone who was raised by an Autistic person.
I hope people don’t think blind or deaf people shouldn’t be parents, that’s pretty messed up.
Agreed
She has said before that she doesn’t care how big or small it is but I know she would love a nice wedding, I’d just rather give her a ring and be good to go. I’m not very social or big on events like I used to be.
I work 9 AM-6 PM and my bf works 2-10 PM. It’s definitely tough but I don’t think it should be a relationship killer especially if you both have the same days off (we do not and honestly in my opinion that’s a LOT harder than the opposite shifts).
We live together so we get to go to sleep next to each other every night, and hang out every evening once he gets home. We make time to go out and do things together on days that we both have off or just relax together at home. If you’re willing to put the work in I don’t think it’s that big of a deal. I think moving in together (if you guys are otherwise at a place in your relationship where that makes sense, I wouldn’t do it just because your shift is changing) will make it easier to see each other more too.
You can also take the promotion, work the job for a bit, and then if it’s not working either look for a new job on a different shift or try to go back to your old position. Or take it and plan to move on in x years or whatever after stashing some extra money for your long term goals and having experience at a better position on your resume.
Most 2nd apartments are small. Someone I know tried to serve papers on a man shed dated for 6 months (she got pregnant), as he had moved out of his rental after breakingup w her suddenly. He had a house, like a mortgage and a wife and kids. They “reconciled” while he was dating my friend and he moved back home. She had no idea because they had practically lived together for that time.
Maybe he did need “me” time or he's just another guy cheating and likes having a young, pretty girlfriend until he's found out.
Who invites guys to a bachelorette? Very weird behavior.
No… lol I’m saying you need to decide what you want to do.
I get him being hesitant, but if you want my opinion? He’ll always be hesitant, once you break up, I believe you’ll almost always break up again. He probably on some level agrees and will never want to marry you due to your past. It’s all about how long you’re willing to wait until YOU believe that’s the case too.
But you said it’s hard for you to let him go, and I can sympathize with that, so you need to decide how long you’re happy to just have spent with him, without any commitment. There are some relationships where you are just happy you got to have, even if they end. If you will be happy spending another 6 months with him even if it ends at 6 months and 1 day, then give him 6 months. But if you’re already feeling like you’re wasting your time, end it now. See what I’m saying? You need to actually think for yourself here. You can’t expect other people, much less strangers on the internet, make real decisions about your life for you. And quite frankly? If you’re unable to think for yourself enough to make this decision for you, it’s pretty hypocritical to get mad at him for not being able to make a decision, since you two are exactly the same.
I started at 12. I've been 5'4 since then. I don’t know when puberty ends officially, but my period started about 2 years after I started needing a bra. I'm sure there are variations.
That stood out to me too. If not a rage bait post that was an incredibly insensitive and frankly dumb thing to say about your SO.
What does 'She wasn't a classic beauty' even mean? Either you find her attractive or you don't.
They got together at 36 and 24, which does not follow the half your age plus seven rule
36/2 = 18, 18+7 = 25
Let your son speak first, no matter how much it kills you inside. He speaks first. He's not there to reconcile. He's meeting you for other reasons.
Don't you dare sugar coat your involvement with a 17 yo whom you known for 4 months, then started fucking him at 18yo. You and Max are disgusting people who should be lynched and hung out to dry. Then you made matters worse by accepting Max's proposals the moment your son was physically gone.
A double betrayal is something no amount if begging for forgiveness can be obtained.
Shame on you.
Making a dumb joke is completely different from dismissing your feelings about said dumb joke
O right I thought they was talkin shit lmao
I mean, a beard isn't an uncommon thing to have for gay people in extremely religious areas. As long as the partner is aware they are a beard, and is okay with it, then nothing seems wrong to me.