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♥abigail♥, 20 y.o.
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Date: October 11, 2022
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You may want to dig into this more and do some introspection, possibly through therapy before you have children (I am NOT suggesting having a child right now; it’s more important to work through your relationship issues first. But when you are ready to have kids). You truly don’t want to become a helicopter parent. If you have kids, will your way of parenting be the only right way? Will you allow the father of your kids (whom ever that might end up being) bond with the children in his own way? Will you be able to compromise on parenting techniques? Will you be able to allow your kids to go to school or be around trusted family or friends without your watchful eye? It sounds like you need to lighten up a little bit and get some outside perspective. As you said- is your fiancé truly being neglectful? Or is it just not up to your standard/way of doing things?
It sounds like you two were a real casual fwb type of thing so i dont think you owe him any sort of loyalty but its not a bad idea to inform him of the situation, especially if you think you might end up dating his friend. i also think you should let the new guy know that you used to talk to his friend so he isnt caught off guard by that later and/or think you were lying by omission.
That bias exists, I don't disagree. That wasn't your original statement.
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Pretty much all the advice you'll receive is to leave him. And you should. I left my baby daddy when my daughter was 6 months old. Being a single parent is insanely difficult but easier than being a parent in an unhappy and unhealthy relationship.
He is cheating on you. This is cheating.
No, I could never harm her in any way. Also my morals are very strong for those kind of things.
Leave the stuff on the doorstep in an appropriate container and then text him his stuff is there and you know he hit on your gf and you're done, then block him.
Sweet. Stealing!
Yes, that makes total sense. That’s useful information to have when answering your question. It would be good to include that in the original post. I would raise the issue with him of your concerns about not having sex for so long. “Honey, I have a need for more sexual intimacy than we’ve been engaging in lately. What can we do to increase the amount of sex we’re havingwhile meeting all of your needs as well?”
That may or may not be related to his sex toy, but the toy itself is still a symptom of a larger problem that you should raise with him, rather than raising the sex toy itself as the issue. Good luck.
I am a guy,
Maybe I'm focusing too much on what he's saying rather than the way he said it? I just can't imagine being upset if someone talked about me like this, I've regularly heard much worse lmao
So replace your protests of moving in with literally anything you disagree about but her reaction will be the same. You're gonna feel like garbage until you give in and then you're gonna look around one day and be like I didn't want any of this.
This ranking and rating stuff is terrible. I mean, even a good number is shit. I'm a person, not a restaurant.
You were either fishing for a compliment or fishing for hurt. No good can come of that. Based on how you've also asked your ex and the internet to assign you a numerical value, it seems you are a bit fixated on external validation.
My advice is to look into why. Consider therapy or introspection or reading or whatever. There are reasons we all act the way we do, it's time to discover your own. Maybe then you'll gain a bit more maturity to bring into this or future relationships.
You need to work on your self-esteem and self-respect. You clearly don't have any so why would anyone else have any for you? Seek therapy and put the work in to build yourself up. And stop sabotaging your own happiness!
I am so sorry you are in this position. I hope you have a good recovery. I suggest you get into therapy; I didn't and it took me years to fully recover. Don't forget to thank the woman who messaged you the proof of her cheating, she helped you dodge a massive bullet.
If he really wanted the divorce he’d cover it all and get it over with. Especially since she continues to use the same excuse. It’s weird that he hasn’t imo.
I agree. I’m just very hurt because I thought by a year he would be a bit more understanding of my feelings and not so selfish on what he wants. I feel angry but I know this will pass too. I tried my best and gave him an opportunity-he just didn’t want to take it
This is my exact feeling on kids too. Except as a woman I also have to consider the lasting impact on my body, inherent danger, and complete lifestyle change during pregnancy and breastfeeding…it’s not an easy choice and it’s not as easy to say 100% yes or 100% no like people make it seem.
But what if they outright refused any Mexican food ever? Because that’s what this dude is doing and that could be found more offensive then just writing off one thing
Thank you for the advice. I do feel very lonely at home and like I never get enough support or attention. I know I’m not a child anymore but it still hurts when you feel like you can’t talk to your own parents. My parents have also been going through a really messy divorce for the last 8/9 months so that’s been very emotionally draining for me. All of my siblings are older than me + have moved out so they haven’t been there for me and I feel a lot of resentment towards them because I felt abandoned. My ex was the only person who was there for me and listened to all of my problems because my own siblings would shut me down anytime I wanted to speak to them. I get it because they’re protecting their energy but at the same time why does their younger sister have to suffer in silence? I realise my ex probably saw me as someone who was vulnerable and easy to abuse because I opened up to him about my sadness a lot.
Oh look, another dude who only decides to stop being garbage after the woman he's been abusing finds the strength to kick his ass to the kerb.
You should stay single, and get therapy. I hope she lives her best life and finds someone who treats her right and respects her from the very beginning instead of treating her like property.
Nah, nah, nah, go back home and take all your games out of the box, remember to put them someplace safe, and then you replace every single one with his most age appropriate games, pack the box back up by the door and let whatever happens, happen.
He did tell her he didn't like it and she brushed it off. Her response was to not take his discomfort seriously. How can you have a meaningful discussion with your spouse if they don't consider your feelings valid?
OP,
Dating someone that is in school that doesn't make that much income should have told you something before you started dating.
You flashed money by paying for everything right from the start and she liked that. Now that time has come, your feeling the pain for your starting this relationship.
You either keep doing it, or just talk to her like a man. Say something like hey, can you buy groceries this week, I have been paying for everything and you have been saving, SO MUCH MONEY.. If she balks at it, then she is only in it for the free meals and gifts. She is only using you for said money.