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❤️CALL ME VALENTINA❤️LET, ‘S RELAX TODAY❤️TIP ON MY TOY AND MAKE ME CUM❤️, 20 y.o.
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Online Live Sex Chat rooms ❤️CALL ME VALENTINA❤️LET, ‘S RELAX TODAY❤️TIP ON MY TOY AND MAKE ME CUM❤️
Date: October 4, 2022
Hell no.
Your age gap: ?
he’s not addicted to it anymore, just use it occasionally like do it with friends
???
That's what he said to you. It doesn't mean that is true. He seems sweet now off drugs and trying to seduce you. Don't fell for it.
He blames whatever happened between him and his ex-girlfriend for HIS addiction. ???
thank u ❤️ doing all this to start my own art gallery // SW friendly creative workspace one day
I don't see my husband as a child, but I do crack jokes about him being just as messy as one. That said, he knows it's a joke because it's usually messes of tools left out from fixing up the antique home that I wanted, or building out another housing for my barn animals. It's most certainly a give and take. If you don't have that two way relationship, jeez just get out now.
I see why you're upset and why it's difficult to move ahead. are you making him sleep on the couch at least?
He was always going to break up with you, he just needed an excuse. If it hadn't been this, it would have been something else.
He's done you a favour. Move on.
Yeah this was the wording I was looking for putting something else before her self. We do have a Dobie but she does want a teacup yorkie of her own so that might be a Christmas gift if I can find one this late.
I would say things like moving in together should actually be really firmly in boyfriend territory! As others have pointed out it's a LOT harder to get divorced than it is to break up, so it's actually much safer to try out living together and get a good feel for the kind of person they really are BEFORE the government is involved in your relationship!
Otherwise, it's totally normal and very sensible to have certain things you keep off limits until you're REALLY committed (for you that obviously means a ring on it, for others that might look different) and as long as you communicate that sensibly to your partner (which it sounds like you have), you're well within your rights to have these boundaries!
That what I’m not sure about. They didn’t just have sex they actually went and did things together and hung out and stuff. Plus they have a history as well. He says that it didn’t mean anything but I don’t know if that’s true. If it were just a drunken hookup or something that would be a different story. But he actively was talking and meeting up with and going on dates with this person.
I agree with you on 99% of things EXCEPT the living together bit. Absolutely do not marry anyone without having firsthand experience living with them to understand the dynamic it will create.
Example: you agree to split chores 50/50. He sits around and plays video games all night and the answer is always “I’ll do it later” so you just do it yourself leading to more of a 80/20 breakdown. Find that out before you’re trapped in a marriage.
This is an option I haven’t considered, thank you!
So he cheats on you, demands you give up one of your cats, belittles you, and threatens to punish you by paying more if you don’t. This guy should be trying his best to make you happy after what he’s done, but apparently he knows he can treat you like shit and get away with it.
It absolutely is an option, you can financially recover from a divorce, but your wifes hated is going to destroy a relationship here either your marriage of your sibling bond.
Demand to do counselling together or get a divorce, because the fact she is reverting to abuse when your visit/talk to your brothers wife… is very concerning
best of luck.
This is too much
id rather die trying to make a life than live my life infertile yk? id feel so useless if i couldn’t have a kid i really want a family. one day not now though
Nope. No it wouldn't
Because if you value a woman so little that you see being her friend as an insult, you never actually liked her.
If you did favours for het of your own free will just so you could get sex in return, you are treating her and having sex with her as a transactional thing ( this is proven when men say “I did XYZ for you! The least you can do is give me a chance!!”) It reeks of entitlement
You can't be in the friendzone when you weren't actually her friend to begin with…
You PRETENDED to be her friend to get closer to her, manipulate her, do nice things for her to pressure her into having sex with you , all in the hopes she will give you sex (which is what this is about btw)
Men who complain about the friendzone don't actually want a long term relationship based on commitment, respect and good memories together because if you did you wouldn't be bitching about being her friend to begin with…
If the friendzone exists then at least admit you put the woman in the fuckzone… Because that's why you're pretending to be her friend in the first place ..
First of all I'm so sorry that this happened to you and second of all i don't know the extent of your injuries but if your ovaries are still intact or even if they are not having children is definitely very much still on the table for you guys, you can adopt!! A lot of kids are out there waiting for a family, so definitely a dick move by your MIL, because honestly it's out of your control, i think you should tell your husband because it's clearly affecting you, and perhaps even making you feel less like a woman and i think he needs to know what his mother is saying and how she's treating you
Purely based on what you have written, I do not feel as though you are abusive. I feel as though she is emotionally abusing you.
Obviously there is a lot of context missing; you have explained your actions and thought processes very well and I have no insight into her view on everything described. However,
I hadn't properly set up her disability software on her university laptop, which she had asked me to do. I realised that I had only set up the software that we had been provided access keys too, but there were other programs that did not require them. She told me that I am unsupportive and that work is always my priority.
Obviously work is a priority, it's a new job, straight out of university, and there's a cost of living crisis which you're clearly both struggling with. But you tried to help her with something, made a mistake, and immediately got told that you weren't trying hard enough to help her (with something she could do herself) and that she wasn't a priority. Unless this is a repeated pattern of weaponised incompetence (which it doesn't sound like), this is a toxic attitude to have towards someone who is trying to help you.
When she woke up she was extremely hurt by my actions. She told me that the way I had prepared the food was stupid, and that nobody places the noodles into the sauce, and that she wouldn't eat it as they would be overcooked. She explained that by doing this I had made it so the food could not be turned into other meals, such as chilli, so I had wasted ingredients on a meal that nobody would want to eat. I offered to cook her a seperate meal, and that I would eat my own spaghetti, or freeze it to have as lunches, however she explained that because of our financial situation we cannot afford to waste ingredients like this and I had caused her a lot of stress.
Same again in this section. She was sleeping, so instead of waking her you tried to help, even going as far as going to the shops to buy ingredients rather than bodging something together. She has again turned this into you being not good enough and messing things up, when you were being proactive.
that I had done this for my own ego and was only upset because I wasn't being praised for making food.
Only you know if this is true, but assuming not, she's again attacking you for trying to do something positive and not doing it perfectly to her standards.
She told me that I was mansplaining her own illnesses to her, and that I'm upset she has the backbone to stand up to my manipulation.
I honestly think it's the other way around, she's the one that's manipulating you.
I have ADHD, and a common experience (generally born out of childhood trauma) is feeling like you're not good enough, being very self-critical, and bending over backwards to try and please people you care about. In this case it feels like you're bent so far backwards your spine is about to snap, and it's still not good enough for her. You're accepting a lot of her criticism because it agrees with your self-criticism, but you don't deserve it.
So to summarise, while your control of spending can be spun as financial abuse, it's clearly born from hardship and not intentional. If you're at fault, it's only because you have set rules rather than agreeing them as a team, although it's hard to say how much of this was set as one sided rules and how much was you just pointing out to her that certain things are unaffordable at the moment. If you want to reconcile, this may be your starting point, sitting down and going over your finances together as a team.
I don't think you should reconcile though, I think you should be looking for an escape route, as I honestly think your partner sounds toxic and abusive based on what's written here.
Forcing sexual contact on someone is assault. When someone says no it means NO. You are alarmingly close to raping your boyfriend.
A lot of guys are married to women that they find unattractive and visa versa.
It is possible that you and he were thinking of “attractive” in different ways.
He clearly already finds you worthwhile and desirable, and is supportive in helping you. It isn't that you are unattractive to him as a person. He wants you in his life.
But he may have thought that you were asking about your physical or sexual appeal. And young as you both are, he didn't know to ask what you were trying to understand before answering the question. So he told you, honestly, that you'd be more (sexually) attractive if you lost weight.
You probably wouldn't disagree with that. But it ends up feeling like you are less of a person, in general, because of his answer.
To give a contrast, my wife has brown hair. When we were dating, I had told her how much I found red hair attractive. But she has never dyed her hair for me. I would probably find more physical appeal with such a hair color change, even now after thirty years of marriage. But I certainly know now that this isn't something I should pester her about, or focus on, as if it is the only thing that matters.
It sounds like your boyfriend isn't after you to lose weight, but is willing to do what he can to help you. So I'd recommend that you take some time to talk with him about what you said before.
Tell him that you know you asked the question, and were glad he was honest, but you still need to hear from him that he likes you even as you are, overweight. Because sometimes, even though you asked a question, you were thinking of one thing, and took his answer as about you, overall…not just your physical looks.
You can also tell him that if you ask any such question like that, then he should certainly ask to clarify what you really want to know about, or he can give you a set of answers for the different meanings involved.
I think the relationship is sustainable, and that — if he hasn't been trying to get you to lose weight — he finds you attractive just as you are. But you could both use more practice in communication. It can take years to get to a point where you are able to say what you mean to each other and have it come across.
The key, I think, is knowing if he's been trying to push you into losing weight, or not. If he's been nudging you in different ways, that seems like something important to him. If he only suggested exercising with you if you had talked of exercising yourself, that sounds supportive.
Does this help?
Your just dodging the question.
IF she wanted to sleep with someone else, could she without consequences? And the answer is no.
I’d leave him immediately- he basically told you you’re a placeholder / body to warm his bed until he gets married to a woman his parents approve of.
As others said, neither of you are equipped to handle that on your own, you will need help.
There a fine line to walk between being there for him and smothering him with worries.
Good luck to both of you, sadly it’ll likely get worse before it gets better.
i was just going to say it's more about humiliation, especially in cases like this where a man has to do that in front of his partner. a man being feminized and raped in front of his girlfriend screams “humiliation”.
You didn’t provide too many specifics, but are you long distance or are you together where you see each other each week?
If you’re together and see each other in person a lot, consider this… meet each week for coffee or something and have a ‘state of the relationship’ meeting. My friend and her husband do this. It’s basically checking in with each other every week (or whatever you set for your relationship) to have an open and honest conversation about things that are going great and things that are going not so great. You can set rules that work for you guys. Examples: each person gets Xmin to talk without interruptions. You can’t yell or be rude. You need to be honest/respectful/kind.
So this way things don’t build up since you talk each week about the good and the bad.
If you’re long distance, consider doing this over video chat.
Dude I would give anything to hear Amy or Levi’s side of this.
Well you shouldn't be used to it. It's grounds for a controlling and mentally abusive dynamic.
The message he sent you reminds me of the kind of thing an angry, abusive ex would have written to me if I did something he didn't like. He was also very immature.
To be honest, was you did was not that bad. You didn't do it with the intention of hurting his feelings. You needed to go to sleep and he should have just been concerned for your safety, not his ego.
Be really careful OP ❤️
This sounds like insecurity. Try to find where it's coming from. I've actually had girlfriends who talked bad about me to their bfs when he and I became friends and it's so hurtful. Just because YOU think she's hot, not everyone does.
This is bullshit.
Nah some of us just don’t assume the person we love is a liar/cheater without evidence to back it up
I have read many stories on here where people were in a similar sort of situation like you. They went behind there husbands or partners back and got in contact with the NC family, guess what happened most are now divorced or separated.
This has nothing to do with you, keep your nose out and respect the wishes of a dead woman and your husband.
Please don't stay together for the sake of your child.
We don't have nearly enough information to give advice on this. There are definitely situations where staying together does benefit the child.
That poor kid
There are a lot of people who come to this sub because they are starting to realize things like this. Ultimately, they’re seeking someone uninvolved to reassure them that they’re not crazy.
So here it is: You’re not crazy! Your feelings are valid!
Even if she’s your best friend, she can still be toxic, unstable, and a terrible partner for you… Life is full of those kinds of contradictions.
for him he feels like I’m asking him for $2 back.
This…makes it worse. The money means nothing to him, yet he hears that you're struggling and refuses to help? Would you ever do that to him if the roles were reversed? If not, why not?
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Why does he think so low of your character? How can you be with someone who thinks of you like this? It’s normal for other people to do these things but for you, you only do it for attention??
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Divorced dad with a young daughter here.
You'll be fine. It's much easier than you think. The relationship with your daughter light become even stronger. You'll meet many single parents and most importantly will have a new start with much more control over your life.
You will do it.
The hardest part is separating. Dealing with your ex, etc. If you're both adults and mature with your daughter's best interest in mind, that should be painless.
Good luck and don't hesitate to contact me if you have questions.
Why be someones plan b?
My guess is the downvotes are people thinking she's not confronting the actual issues and just saying “thank you for your feedback” to avoid talking about hard things
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You want to try that again? This time with logic.
This is why you date a lot when you're young, to test compatibility. This ain't it.
What if she had a cunnilingus “fetish” and required you to go down on her for an hour every day, maybe more than once? Up for it?
If he's saying it smells bad and it's hurting you, there's a very real chance you have something like BV. After I had my son I had a HORRIBLE case of it though I had no visible change in smell or anything but when we tried to have sex at 12 weeks pp it hurt so bad I cried. So I went to the Dr to make sure everything was OK. Ahe got me on antibiotics and haven't had a problem since.
Easy? No. There is no easy way to do this when she uprooted her entire life to move in with you.
You could try talking to her about what isn’t working and come up with a plan to fix it or an exit strategy for her.
He's not boosting your self-esteem? You want him to initiate, he's obviously very unsure of how to do this. He's trying but not very confident in it and you're response is that it's not good enough for you and not boosting your self-esteem. Maybe try boosting HIS self-esteem by encouraging, engaging, and a bit of guiding. This is your opportunity to teach and get the sex you want. The anxiety and pressure you create is likely causing his ED.
Yeah… I’ve really been letting myself down lately and you’re right. It’s hard to swallow what you just said but there’s a voice in my head that says the exact same shit and it’s that same voice that has lead me to every other good thing I’ve done in my life so I should listen to it more. Thankyou.
Lol tbh I read you other comments bruh I would have left 2 years ago after the cheating incident but we all have different kinds of hearts. Keep your head up man don’t let the next women walk all over you like that have some self respect and boundaries. A real women wouldn’t cheat or be annoy at you for protecting your own life during holidays and wouldn’t cheat on you either.
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I went and read your post a couple months ago on AITA and based on this and that, I'd say your bf just wants to sometimes argue and make you feel bad for the sake of it. While you may have had a sex dream or made weird moves, a healthy partner would NOT react this way… I would reevaluate the relationship to see if there's a pattern there… If so, it will only get worse.
He sounds bloody awful. Why are you with this person? It's not for his personality.
You must be the 0.00001% of people with wonderful genes who have absolutely 0 body odor after 48h not showering I guess
She didn't necessarily do anything wrong, but there is also nothing wrong with sharing your feelings on the matter given your anxiety and attachment issues. You're right that you can't expect her to read your mind – communicate it and hopefully she is receptive.
That said, you do need to work on those issues. Are you able to access therapy? Anxiety and attachment issues don't just go away.
The reason he isn't acting supportive of your traumas is because he is not interested in you. He's interested in having a young, hot piece of ass.
Your parents sound strict, I'm willing to bet it's because they're scared you'll go back down a bad path. Parents don't always know how to deal with things properly, unfortunately. However, my guess is they were never okay with the age gap bartender and were trying to seem cool til they waited on it fizzing out. The drinking slip freaked them out.
Ride it out at home, focus on school and your own wellbeing.
If she's snoring all night every night it's a medical issue. She most likely has sleep apnea and needs a CPAP machine. Suggesting a doctor should not be a last resort. She needs to make an appointment with her doctor TODAY.
The way she's acting is incredibly selfish. Maybe since it's affecting your sleep, spend a night just constantly waking her up. Every time she starts snoring shake her awake and say, “you're snoring roll over”. Each and every time. Then in the morning when she complains that she's tired because you kept her up, tell her, “no kidding. Welcome to my world” This is bizarre to me that she's not doing anything about it, and it's a red flag.
My husband snores and when it started it lasted about a week before he started trying ways to fix it. The fact that she's not and doesn't care that your quality of life is declining just tells me she doesn't care about YOU. This is bigger than the snoring.
I'm sorry you had to deal with that. Thanks for your insight, you've given me food for thought.
Even if she doesn't see you as an uncle, she can understand that just because she might be interested in something, it doesn't mean that the other person wants to indulge her.
What. Is. The. Difference. Between. Being. Out. Until. Midnight. With. Friends. And. Flying. To. See. His. Parents.
It’s not that he needs to be up at 6 to wrangle the kids because he does not do that in either scenario.
U can’t save it move on. Think about it if she really loved you she wouldn’t cheat also she will defiantly do it again
There definitely is a lot to be afraid of. He makes threats of murdering you and your family and openly states he's a psychopath and not afraid of consequences. Repeatedly.
How can you be sure he won't change his tune to “Do X, Y and Z, or I'll kill you and burn down your family's home?”. Imagine that X, Y and Z can be very, very bad things, too. Things you'd never be willing to do without the threat of death.
His threats are not about love, they are about control. Either break up with him (without cheating, obviously) and don't date before you've moved far away (and don't post any new relationship on social media) just in case he's far enough off the rocker to follow through on his threat despite you being broken up, possibly for years.
I did this well before I had boyfriend's. My parents kept thinking I was out with friends when I showed them proof otherwise
Yes, so it's all in the way you non-verbally invite her. If this doesn't work you can blame me. Talk about how hot and oiled up these Aussies are and that you can't wait for them to strip off completely in front of you, grab you and SIL from the crowd, and give you two hot juicy lap dances on the stage. They have gigantic bulges that you can't get enough of and they aren't afraid to hangout later.
These are lies but you get the picture
Definitely say this in front of brother and SIL only, to avoid someone else chiming in and saying that's a lie
Then ask if she wants to go and don't go into detail on who all is invited or be vague on that part
A part of me still has love for her cause she was always close in my life. Ive had breakups before but this one is seeming to hit me the most. I want to talk to a new girl i see in my gym but i feel like if i do that, I’m guilty for moving on as-well.
Thanks. I will try to give her space and see what happens. Later I might suggest talking to a professional. I don't want to surrender yet since I truly believe this could be my person, long-term.
I left relationships early before due to me not feeling a connection, not seeing us long term together. This time it is finally different. I actually really care, love person and I can see us together longterm if we somehow manage to beat this part of life.
If he doesn't let go of things and you assume that once you apologize it's been dealt with and forgive and forget. He obviously doesn't. he must hang on to things and hold grudges. Or I presume he honestly feels the way he says that you yell at him and it's your way all the time and he's tired of being bossed around considering he's calling it a dictatorship. You both need step back. Do you do that or is he just insanely sensitive? I don't quite get why you two got married if things were this bad after 10 years. Did you both think that a marriage certificate would automatically fix everything? Yes you need some counseling but if he just spends the whole time bashing you then that's not very productive and you need a new therapist. But if that's all he wants to do is go over every grievance he's ever had with you for the last 11 and a half years it might be better just to cut ties and divorce and move on.
Thanks for the advice. I appreciate it.
Most people and cultures accept that the household you are raised in, the people you are raised by and the culture and language(s) practised in your home define your identity much more than a location you came out of a vagina at and some legal documents pertaining to it.
He sounds weird and also like he probably has some weird “english purity” vibes going. Bet he doesn't see you as Danish but would only see say an Indian person who was born in England as being an “outsider” and only being Indian.
“Brian” sounds like a fairly reasonable guy willing to impart his life experience onto you and having people like this in your life can be helpful. But he may be the classic “mentor” and/or “transitional” relationship you needed to recover after your divorce. It could be that you and he were never meant to be together forever but that he was what you needed in your life at a specific moment. You also have to consider that he has feelings too and his own past to contend with. He's setting up boundaries to keep his own life on track and in the service of his own emotional health he can't just wait around until you're ready for something serious. He's pushing 50, OP and just to put it bluntly, if he doesn't intend to die alone he's going to need to nail something down fast. You on the other hand have plenty of time to work through your issues and still find a life partner when you're ready. He doesn't have that luxury.
Yes it's long distance
Alcohol, a hotel room, and his “favors.” This is a trifecta for trying to get you down.
Getting physically turned off by something that he cannot change is very shallow.
I fully intend to offend with this post and will not make excuses otherwise..
Can you imagine the response if some guy came on here and said something like “I can't stand looking at my Girlfriend because she has stretch marks that werent there before we started dating.. ITs gross, how do I change this?”
Balding can't be helped.. If you are so hung up on physical appearance that you can't be with him do him the favor of breaking it off.. He deserves better.
You are working awfully hard to defend your dysfunctional behavior. That's worth thinking about.
The bottom line is as I have explained. You can't know her feelings, you can only know her actions. She has already demonstrated through her actions that she doesn't care about your feelings, and if you could control her feelings, you would make her feel remorse about cheating on you instead of asking you if she can do it again.
I think you are actually just trying to avoid a conflict (which is okay). If you really put her feelings first, you would stay and let her continue cheating on you. After all, that's clearly what she wants.
In any case, take care of yourself.
Trichomoniasis
Well if you keep going back that’s on you. He’s already proved he’s a pos the rest is on you
There are so many practical real-life issues that have to be decided right now that the wedding pales in comparison. If you are lucky enough that she does not outright cancel it, the wedding should be postponed until reality sets in. The crucial issue is what the mother of the child expects and what you want as the father. All of this MUST be set out in legal filings so that nothing is left vague or unenforceable. A set amount of support and a firm custody schedule needs to be established either in an agreed upon Stipulation or imposed Order. Then – and only then – your fiance can decide whether she can live with the situation. You offered her one life and she agreed. Then you ripped that away from her and are expecting her to simply go on as before. That is supremely unfair. She has every right to evaluate and tell you that she does not want to live the life that you now offer.
Just freaking dump him.
It’s not that I wouldn’t want him as a boyfriend. It’s the fact that I know his dating history and he never takes any girl seriously. So why would I think he’s going take me seriously?
It’s called free will. Without vows, which if there were you would have broken them in this scenario, nobody owes you anything. Sorry cold world
So he has stopped giving you an allowance?
Yes feels like it
I’m a dude. And yes unfortunately you screwed up. Gonna need some grit to power through. In the future this will make a good story and you can learn from this. I’m sure that your future romantic endeavors will be better calibrated thanks to this.
Uh no, I got full custody of my daughter because her mom is an adulterer and the courts frown, heavily, on that. Of course we were married, so that makes my scenario different, there were no orders and it was, without a doubt, the fact that made the family courts commisioner decide to grant me custody.
She has 2 DUIs at that point and even that didn't sway the commisioner (who hated me solely because I was a man and was a straight up femcel). Again married vs dating so OP would have a tough time.
She is 25.
he didn’t pick OP over anna, he literally just couldn’t get her number, as the friend said. OP deserves someone better than a man who legitimately settled for her as “second best” compared to her sister.
Did you talk to your partner about it?
I couldn’t even read past the next abusive incident after the Italian trip disaster abusive story. Tediously bone-crushingly exhaustingly abusive, and then with OP running round after her, apologising for her petty manufactured delusional manipulations. Ugh. Sad, for OP. OP, don’t engage with or enable emotional / psychological manipulators or terrorists. good luck mate!
This is another fake profile with a fake problem, it doesn’t even make sensr
Well she's now saying she's happy for the bride and has stopped calling her bad marriage material, unless I've missed a comment :/
I agree, especially about changing all his contact info.
Because she is a troll who keeps changing the story to get more outrage. Hence why the bride was outed as disabled and why sone 24 year old bum with no job is writing a memoir and apparently plans to have a PhD. In her last post age was worried about her friends ostracism but now apparently they are all giving her money freely.
She never previously mentioned any engagement with the groom, but now he's a secret ex who still loves her (unlikely given they are like 24 – HOW would she have dated him with NONE of their mutual friends knowing about it, nor how the groom would get to marrying his wife and never mentioned this fact.
It is simply implausible. And the level of deliberate denseness and fake innocence that OP tries to put on in comments just confirms that they know exactly how to rage bait.
Truly. How would anyone possibly think this would be funny. Ever?!? Another guy was better then you isn’t that funny!!
I guess everyone reacts differently. But letting your bil kiss you for a few seconds tho? It really begs the question if there isn't more happening. If he managed to get a quick peck on the lips that's one thing, but the way it was described in the post is a bit fishy imho
I’m really sorry but if there’s honestly 0 attraction, it’s a non starter. Better to end it now than to drag it out and hurt him worse in the future. You should be with someone you find attractive, he deserves someone who finds him attractive as well
This dude sucks
Have a house meeting and talk them them all about whether they want to pitch in the $xx per week for a cleaner.
I would suggest that you stop cooking for your BFs brother, and also stop cleaning for your BF.
You sound like you're the housemaid for the flat and that's not good to do that for free.
Either they do it, they pay for a cleaner, or they pay a cleaner's fee plus 20% to you and you do it (and get paid premium fee).
Don't work for free.
so hentai would be considered okay?
And I agree with the others. She still only likes you, and she seems conflicted about the ex. It's time to walk away.
That’s what I thought.
What the hell did i just read…
Same here, I was stuck at home for a month or two before my apartment lease started and it was painful
Please show your work for us with shitty math skills.
I graduated at 17 with other 17 and 18 year olds. The only 19 year old I ever saw was a guy that was short credits. He was kind of a creep too, tbh.
My dude, it’s time to go. You said it yourself, you gave her everything. You also said she pulls back when you kiss. That’s a repulsed reaction. You say her words ring hollow because they do. She just doesn’t want to give up the house, the pool, and her lil manservant who throws a fit about sex every now and again. If you ain’t Fuckin’ then you’re friends and roommates. So ask her if she’s down to fuck or if you should just consider her a roommate. Be ready to let her know how much half of the bills are , and how to split pool cleaning duties. I’d bet she’s probably already being railed by someone and views Alden with her cash cow as cheating on her real man.
Two types on reddit
You have the people who are constantly suspicious of ALL men based on one event, and then you have the “males rights activists” who love to whip out suicide stats or divorce courts or whatever ?
I have traveled all over the world, I spent 6 months straight traveling, I know exactly how unsafe things can be all over the world. Just because I travel doesn't mean I am gonna behave like a careless fool.
It can be dangerous, but it can also be amazing.
Do I even need to point why this is a horrid argument?
well he can’t ready your mind so definitely talk to him
I know that he’s doing this for my own good. I would have try to stop him too. It’s the “not talking until we seriously talk” part that i’m upset about and I can’t blame him. I’m confused about what to do.
I really hate people that cheat at the bachelor/bachelorette parties. You are already committed if you are engaged. You don't have the “freedom ” to cheat bc you're not married yet. And f her friends who invited the guys and encouraged her to cheat.
maybe it really wasn’t what it looked like
It was probably exactly what it looked like. Personally, I would give her one chance to explain herself (by phone, not in person) and unless there is some absolute marvel of an explanation, you just thank her and tell her it's over, and then hang up for good.
Can't beat them, join them, huh. To add to your suggestions, OP should prepare a unicycle, bowling pins, and balls for future brother in law. Ask him to be the honorary guest entertainer of the night. They'll either all have a blast, or brother in law learns a lesson.
I don’t blame him. How would you really feel if he lived with a woman.
you mention therapy, but did you make an appointment with her? Honestly, she needs meds. If the ones she takes make her feel crappy she needs to tell her doc. There are multiple meds that can help. Other things that can help with BD and depression is a low carb diet. I know it sounds nuts, but google it and you'll find plenty of studies.
At the end of the day, you need to tell her you can't live like this. That you need her to take her meds and get help so that you have a healthy relationship. If she doesn't do it you need to leave her.
oh lord, this doesn't sound good. Is this really worth it?
At that point the damage had been done that doesn’t mean I wasn’t sorry
Break up. End the relationship. He told you he doesn’t want to be with you. Have him move out. Maybe one of the girl friends that he has been friendly with can take him. You deserve better.
The reason is irrelevant. She wanted out. And the “maybe in the future we can blah blah” bullshit needs to leave with her.
She isn't interested, at least right now, in having a life with you. And there's not a single reason in the books that can justify it. Whether she's with someone new, just wants freedom, or fell out of love or whatever. None of it matters.
All you can do now is hold on to your dignity. Mourn what was lost, take a long time to yourself and be kind to yourself. Idk if you're okay with being cool with her but that's a possibility, just stay at an arm's length and allow yourself to be happy elsewhere.
I personally wouldn't be open to getting together down the line. 5 years is a long time to just throw away and I'd be more eager to find myself again and maybe find someone better who matches my pace in life.
Unless there was an unwilling participant involved, no need for shame. What you need it to get a lock and use it.
I strongly disagree. The reason violence is so abhorrent is because the second you put violence on the table, other people can respond with it appropriately.
I also think it's likely that if OP goes back home to visit her family, her family will abduct her/prevent her from leaving.
After all, if they are deeply religious, it is her immortal soul at risk and it's far better to force her to stay and rebrainwash her than allow her husband to push her into blasphemy and an eternal stay in hell.
Have you tried hi penis?
Break up with him already.
You are pretty naive… She is staying over often in at the bungalow of her high school crush, you see they message and really believe it is about a cat joke?!
Then she active chats with other guys. She just send you screenies of harmless chats. And then she has an emotional affair and again you just say “so what”?! And the joke is that she behave as if it was your fault because she got so used to your daily phone calls and need to fill the void with talking to strangers…?! Does she have no job? Will she blames you for cheating again if you aren't availible 24/7?
You can bet she cheated on you in person in her city. You can bet that she laughed at you with her affair partner how naive you are. I don’t want to be mean, but she isn't a great woman! And she clearly doesn't love you. And the excuse with no attention yadda yadda… How often did you cheat with another woman? But she doesn't respect you. And if you move together, you will end up getting used. “Oh, i don’t have the money for rent or bills…” And you can have affairs everywhere, at work, the neighbors, at the gym… While you are at work, she will have her lover over in your bed and laugh at you.
So end it. You deserve someone better. And if you are honest: you don’t trust her and you resent her for her behaviour. And it is natural, because she betrayed you!
Yeah, you've been a real treat to chat with.
Why would you want to proceed?
Was she having a tattoo in unsanitary conditions? Even if it were from tattoo, it means she has in all likelihood chosen some less than professional tattoo artist.
Interrogate her about places she has tattoos from. If it is from a single place, you should obviously do something about it to make it public.
Of course, she could be just cheating, in either case leaving her is justified. Even if you were to believe she has not cheated, she should own up to her actions and support you in trying to out places where she has gotten tattoos from for being a health hazard.
If she isn't willing too, and isn't mad on them in general, it's because she has cheated. If she has gotten tattoo from some randy in random place… It is absolutely her fault to give you hepatitis B, o with it what you deem fit.
Wow, some other commenters have been dipping their toes in the victim-blaming pool to varying degrees, but you decided to just canonball right on in!
They had no chance of getting to the “official” stage because you swooped in and made sure of that.
Are you saying you don't know a woman who looks almost exactly like one of your female friends who would be okay with having a video made of her getting gangbanged just to frame a woman she doesn't know? Seems believable to me!
/s
Thank you for your (hopefully) honest opinion. I would hope that she's happy with me, but she may not be. For most of the time that we've been together I've been the “bread winner.” I am not the type that wants a TRAD wife. She's had every opportunity to do whatever she wants to do. We don't have the type of relationship where we stop each other from doing what we want to do. I always tell people that I trust and love her enough to make decisions that are good for our family. I don't feel the need to have he run every little thing by me. Does that make sense?
It really depends on what kind of relationship you have and what kind of strategy you would like to take. Here are a few options off the top of my head, with varying degrees of compassion:
Option #1:
“What do you think this is for?”
“Look, I know you have good intentions and are only asking me because you want to make sure I never stop learning, but it makes me feel stupid when you ask in this kind of way.
If you'd like to teach me stuff, how about we either dedicate some time to that specifically or you just tell me you'd like to show me something?”
Option #2:
“What do you think this is for?”
“I don't know what that is for, so please just tell me. No, I don't want to guess because I legitimately don't know, so if you want to teach me, now is obviously the time.”
Option #3: “What do you think this is for?”
“I don't know and I really don't appreciate this game. If you want to teach me something, then do that. If you don't, then leave me alone and I'm sure I will eventually figure it out on my own or ask if needed.”
hypocrite *
Oh my gosh. As somebody that’s dealt with dating a much older man who would stonewall me for days, weeks…and was quite controlling, you should end this relationship. You’re young and shouldn’t have to deal with this kind of stress — feeling you need to defend yourself. Believe me. I was you. I couldn’t wear certain clothes without his snide comments. I couldn’t go out and hang out with people without him turning me into a bad guy and being suspicious of my friends/coworkers.
Tell this man-child bye bye. Congrats to your sister 🙂
I would sit down with her and truly express your concerns. If she still wants to do it, you should make some stipulations ahead of time.
Everyone agrees up front this is a one time event. There will be no reciprocal sessions for her. Any sexual contact beyond the threesome will be considered cheating. This does not open the marriage.
Type this up and have everybody sign it and videotape it being signed. Frankly, if you’re not really into it, fight hard not to do it all.
Nobody can force your bf to marry anyone he doesnt want to.
Tell him to be mature and adamant to his family on who he wants to be with.
Just cautioning you tho, your bf is the key person in this situation, if he breaks to pressure either now or when you both are finally married, there goes your relationship.
He is the one who needs to stand up and make decisions, be a man and responsible for his life and also you as his future bride.
Looking at his personality, do you think he can do this?
You are an asshole. You don’t act like you broke up with your wife on bad terms. You have a coparenting relationship with her. Just coparent and talk about your son or pet. Do not talk to her about other issues. You are putting your relationship in the backburner without caring about your wives feelings
Then focus on school. I don't think you guys are compatible anymore now that's she's bringing up the age difference and comparing you to older men. Best to leave and date someone within your age bracket.
Tell your family exactly what you wrote in this post. Show your grandma, dad, your bio-dad.
You don't owe anyone a “compromise” on this; it's your decision alone and you are absolutely justified in feeling the way you do.
The best thing is to tell your dad first, so he knows how you feel, and then you have his support when you tell your bio-dad (and maybe even he'll have advice on how to tell him).
Grandma gets told, “I understand how you feel, but this is what I'm doing.” If she has a hissy fit over it, that's on her; you aren't responsible for managing her feelings, even if you appreciate all she did while you were growing up.
And keep this in mind: if your biodad really does feel remorse and “just wants to be part of your life”, then he'll accept that in any way, shape, or form, and not be upset about just being a guest at the wedding. If he throws a fit, then you know he hasn't learned shit and is still making this about himself.
Two things here.
First, her not responding when she was likely drunk, isn't necessarily a red flag. She may have cheated, but until you have something better than “well I feel she could have done it” you should give her the benefit of the doubt. This or leave her, because if you can't trust without good reason to do otherwise, then the relationship with her has no future.
You should apologise to her.
On the flip side, you should make agreement to not delete messages, as it not only defeats the purpose of open policy, but it makes you assume the worst since you do not delete messages that do not contain things worth deleting.
Oh,I wish you had listed the happy wife first. Listing a clean house and home cooked meals just sounds so sexist and selfish.
You can ask her what she wants to do.
Then your partner is an idiot. Considering you are at risk he should stay with you and he shouldn't be around his dad.
The most important thing is that you talk to him and be honest about how you’re feeling. If you want to try and make a go of it, it doesn’t make you not straight, and you guys could use strapons, fingers, vibrators, etc.
You should know how he expects you to reciprocate, as well. Some trans folks don’t like certain parts of their bodies to be touched, others have no issue, etc. just like anyone else. Make sure you talk over everything!
And just to add: being with a trans man doesn’t mean you aren’t straight. And he’s still the same person he was before you knew he is trans! You just know more about who he is now.
Good luck!!
You're completely missing the point here. She lied to him, and seemingly for no good reason. That's a red flag.
I’m not saying not to but I’m definitely saying what do you think will be the outcome of that? Im just curious of how u think this convo will end up ? I’d be grateful but still would be pissed off. And ask why tell me now? Also how do you think your lover will react? Do u have legit answers for the questions that will follow
This can happen lol
He wasn’t im love with you just a plain little crush ??♀️
I think he’s channeling Burroughs and Kerouac in a strange melange of surreal otherworldism.
Yikes, yeah that's another good reason.
You cannot convince her. What you can do is compromise with her, otherwise, if you can't, you shouldn't get married to her. If you think throwing a wedding party is more painful than not having her in your life, then you break up with her.
Also, reading your comment, you kind of twisted her word. She wanted the 'bride experience.' Some women are into it, the beautiful gown, big parties, families/friends gathering, celebrating…hundreds of ppl, etc etc.
Some ppl just prefer small one or elopement. I eloped with my husband since I didn't care about the bride/wedding experience. We did the courthouse wedding with our parents and siblings, that's it. No party. But not everyone is into that type of thing.
I'd say most people expect some sort of wedding party/celebration with family and friends when they're proposed to.
I've received her affirmation before from a form of forgiveness, but it's not what I look for. It's only about making things right, and maintaining a strong sense of discipline to not relapse to the past self.
I quite understand the concern, and the warning on what could happen. I embraced on how I see myself, even if it is in a negative light to say the very least. And through therapy, maybe I'll see myself as a decent guy one day.
My exact goal is to be able to help those in need though, hence the military enlistment. I want to try to qualify as a Pararescue specifically. It feels right, to be there for everyone instead of prioritizing on one person. I just hope that she can be only one of the many people I can appropriately help too.
If I don’t just chicken out I’ll be sure to update. I have TOO MUCH experience with narcissists from my parents and my ex-best friend, I know he’s not a narcissist. He’s too honest to be one, not in the oversharing way or the rude way, just in the kind way, he’s a very honest person.
You are totally right, this is completely normal when a man does it. This is a more complicated issue but there’s some good old sexism in the mix there.
The joke wasn't meant for you. It was to support her friend who had just gotten divorced. Don't make this bigger than it is. If everything is going great in your marriage, then focus on the good things and not a silly joke.
Him accusing you of talking to someone is him projecting his own guilt onto you
He knows you're uncomfortable with the idea of being involved but insists on it anyway then gets upset at the thought of you being with someone else
I'd seriously reconsider this relationship
I’ve been in a few good relationships yes. And yes sex was good in the beginning,we didn’t had intimacy in the past few weeks.
“Traditional” unfortunately is usually code for “controlling, insecure misogynist”…I'm not sure if he can be reasoned with. 🙁 I'm sorry you're having to deal with this.
It sounds like she's using you.
It sounds like she's using you.
My question is why are you doing this?
If I was a woman I'd be a 11, you better belive it guurl!
Well if you trust that he's completely open and honest with you, brace yourself for when he comes back and breaks up you with because they “rediscovered” their relationship on the trip. Or, if he's not a cheater, maybe you get the call during the trip before they do anything and he breaks up with you mid -trip. Since I'm not really too fond of either of those inevitabilities, this would be a deal breaker for me. I'd also disregard the “guys are allowed to have friends that are girls” folks that always come out on these threads. You're allowed to have boundaries and deal breakers for you.
Maybe it's because I'm a mother, but I don't understand parents who think this way. I have to assume you're not one.
There's no amount of money I wouldn't pay to ensure my child and their loved ones live a happy life. I don't care if it's to my ex or to whomever. I'm happy to “be an ATM” if it means giving my child a good standard of living with both parents.
I guess.. but did you read the rest of the message?
By dumping this loser and finding a real man who actually wants to be with you.
TW: sexual assault.
I told my ex he could have a threesome with two women who weren’t me. Then, like 3 years later, he hosted a “dinner party” for me and a friend of mine he found attractive, who had a drinking problem at the time (we were all 22/23 and in school and drank frequently). I didn’t drink as much because I never liked getting wasted, but I was still drunk, and when I went to the bathroom I heard a scuffle. Came out to find him on top of her and she kicked him off so hard his head hit the wall behind him. But he kept going. She screamed and asked me not to leave her (I was halfway out the door), so I turned back for her.
Long story short, it took me months to break things off, years before I could call it rape (which it was), years before I could acknowledge that it wasn’t my fault, and my friend and I are still friends despite her not remembering that night and me very much remembering that night.
So this is my almost 37 year old lady advice to you and all 20-something’s asking this question: if he insists on a sexual act you are not comfortable with, he does not respect you enough to be in a relationship with you.
Not worth fixing, someone who fundamentally hates you for your skin color uses those words to explicitly and specifically discriminate against your race… that ain’t someone you want around you or your kids.
You ain't wrong
I mean, you have to know that dating a flight attendant has big risks, right?
It seems like she was ignoring you on purpose. Why that is? Who knows. If she’s all done up, then obviously it indicates she was going out, but was it with a guy? Again, who knows. You know she was lying though, so take that as you will.
It's a weird “no,” but it is a “no.” She's declined. Move on.
Honestly yeah, I think you are. I get caring about your birthday and wanting effort to be put into it. And that is exactly what your bf did! It was still a surprise (a premature one admittedly), and he still went out of his way, well in advance, to make it a special day for you. I think that matters more than anything else. And you could probably stand to grow up a wee bit, and learn to regulate your emotions as an adult.
Or even a DNA test.
update we flirted I think he does like me
Yes, but it would cause her to look into it. That’s the whole point.
I agree, but only partly. The reality is that selfishness cannot be avoided, and sometimes partners need to compensate and compromise. There will always be times that we can’t put our partners first. That could be because temporary selfishness is for the betterment of the couple (such as OP’s case). One partner may not be mentally or physically capable of carrying their load, and the other partner needs to pick up. Relationships are not going to always be 50/50. Sometimes they’re 75/25, or even 100/0 (e.g., mental/physical health crisis).
OP has been so supportive and selfless as her partner has explored careers. Now it’s her partners turn to set aside his ego and desires and support her.