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Date: October 3, 2022
I'm late to this – did ANYONE think going on a work trip with an ex FWB was acceptable??? JFC.
Asian guy here. I have a Chinese female friend who married a white guy thinking that would gain status in society. It’s quite common than you think and it’s pretty superficial. It’s down to what you want from your partner. Can you be happy with it long term? If you break it off she might shrug and go for another guy quickly. Personally, I wouldn’t want that kind of partner because the phony side will be applied to everything to make it appear not authentic to you.
Thanks a ton.
Definitely cross-post this on r/DeadBedrooms
This is a COMPLETELY normal turn of events for you with a 10 month old child. And a complete AH move on his to jump to “I need to have sex with other women” when you've barely been post-partum for as long as you were pregnant. You still have HELLA hormones swirling around, and clearly your partner doesn't understand that those hormones not only (by design) kill your libido, they make resentments around childish behaviour like this SUPER STICKY.
Again, please post on r/deadbedrooms— this one is so common they've got a whole set of input and advice for it.
It's not uncommon for people to freeze or be unsure how to react in a situation where they or someone else is in danger. This is why psychologists call it the “fight flight freeze” response now instead of just “fight or flight.”. Especially for something that happens so quickly. He says he doesn't know why he failed to act. And this is probably the reason. It may not have been a conscious decision on his part to just sit back and watch.
I'm not saying you have to forgive him. Maybe you wanted a partner who is more of a fighter. But this isn't the sort of thing your boyfriend might necessarily be able to work on or change. And most likely people who freeze in some moments may flee or fight in others.
I'm sorry that this happened to you.
If he's actively stalking her in public now she needs to go to the police NOW! He's escalating it and this is a really fucking dangerous time for her…and you. Lives could potentially be in danger. Please go to the police!
If he’s working that hard and not solving the issue, he needs to be communicating that and getting help.
It’s so stupid honestly. Like consent to what you want first obvi but just abstaining AFTER being DIVORCED is just a control tool for op.