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Date: March 24, 2023

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Try to start by creating a good mood when you're together, and dont worry about “spoiling” that mood. Exhausted and hungry isn't the best time for deep conversation, for example.

When the timing is right, open up that you want to work on improving communication in the relationship and having regular check-ins to address anything that comes up before it becomes a larger problem. Likely he will be on board with this. This is a good time to also pay compliments or re-assure him that you enjoy being with him.

Encourage him to open up about anything thats bothering him, even if its not right in that moment. He might bring up certain things (like the sex) on his own. That topic is probably the most difficult and embarassing for him, whereas the other problems wont hurt his ego in the same way. Keep in mind that he may have his own complaints, and you may have to compromise on certain things.

Address each issue individually. Try to come to a conclusion or create a plan before throwing the next thing out there. If things get heated or he starts to withdraw, suggest that you take time to digest and think about it before picking up the conversation again. Just dont let it drag out too long.

His performance anxiety could be rooted in things that he's not willing to reveal – such as a porn/masturbation addiction. It could have to do with a medication he's taking. In any case, its okay for him to talk to a doctor about it. For your part, be open to trying a different approach to sex – whatever he thinks would help. Is the bedroom too hot? Is the ceiling fan throwing him off? Does he need more foreplay? A different position? Any little thing could have an impact, but the onus is largely on him to figure that out.