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Date: September 24, 2022
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She cheats on you while you're grieving a parent, and then tries to use your grief over your dog to guilt you into taking her back? What a fucking prize she is.
You did nothing wrong, you're not an ahole for declining to welcome back the person who cheated on you.
Bumble is also for seeking friends and professional networking. I'm on Bumble, using those two features. The pro feature is not that good, though. But I've met awesome people with the seeking friends profile. If she was on Tinder, that would've been sketchy. Bumble? Not that sure. I'm not saying she's not looking for a date. However, I can't say that she is there for dating. He should just ask her and have a talk about it, like adults. Since he's her husband, he can also ask to see her profile on Bumble.
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I agree completly.
OP’s GF seems very insecure and needs therapy to be able to open up to someone she cares so much about as a BF..
So if she refuses to open up/discuss then he should leave her I agree
Well that's fine then. Original post gave me wrong impression then. If things are otheriwise goign well I would get over this incident.
Although I don't think both of them (gf and her cousin) can stay under the same roof much longer. For now what is importnat is that your gf does not accumulate anger in herself. The issue is to get rid of it she needs to be listened to by someone. I imagine her parent's are an option. If they cared about her they would see how much harmful their current situation is and made sure they don't live together. Ergo I don't think they care. If you think they do suggest your gf to press them to either help her (financially) live seperately or kick her cousin out.
She can't really vent to you, if she tries to make you her therapist your relationship is pretty much dead. Even if she gets therapist this probably won't be enough. She really needs to live seperately from her cousin or she might become properly toxic person.
OP I am so sorry this is happening. It's compounded by the fact that he doesn't communicate and has an unrequited emotional affair with this other woman.
As for what you do, well, I guess you have to think about whether this is what you want your life to be. He's lied to you for 20 years. I personally think the man needs therapy. At some point when another person does not return the same energy towards you as you do them, you at some point stop having a crush and attempt to move on. That would be a normal reaction.
It sounds like he's in love with the idea of this woman, and has turned it into an obsession. To the point where he thinks she's sending him coded messages through her business pages on social media.
Sounds to me like he needs help stepping back into reality. This woman clearly wants nothing to do with him, he needs to resolve that.
I'm curious what your early relationship with this man was like. Was he ever emotionally present and invested in the relationship? Was there an event that caused him to check out?
The fact that she hid this guy from you and everything was secret isn’t a red flag it’s an affair. She deleted everything so you can’t read what they were saying. Very convenient. I don’t know if went physical yet. I honestly don’t know how you guys stay with someone that treats you like this. Get a lawyer and divorce her. If you stay she quits the job tomorrow. But don’t bother with that because she’ll just get another boyfriend at the next job.
Just confront him and be direct, but just remember he might outright reject you.
“Hey fuckface (or whatever you call him) what is going on with our dates, I am not interested in being flaked 3 times the next date is (time,place & activity) either come or move along”
I am starting to think the same ?. I am so attached to him that I cannot see it and blocking seems so cruel ? but it will have to be done ?
I really think the more you guys talk the better it is. If you are both willing to make this work, that is. But if she doesn't you can't carry this relationship alone (and probably don't want to). Blocking someone would be at the very bottom of my list unless you are ready to leave and never look back. Especially if she's prone to self harm and that kind of things, you want to resolve things properly, it doesn't need to be a fight. Good luck
This isn't going to get any better. Your boy is enmeshed with his mother.
Because it's relevant
Sex first and relationship later? For women, bad sex is painful, and sex with people they don’t know extremely well is dangerous. Men who seem like ‘good guys’ can still have a bunch of rape myths in their head and think it’s okay to go too hard or to randomly slap her etc. That’s even without malice. And if he’s malicious and doesn’t stop when asked, she’s smaller than him and can’t stop him. Asking someone to be in an incredibly vulnerable position where there’s a good chance they’ll get hurt and a chance they’ll feel violated, then saying hey, maybe we’ll learn about each other after?
I think a lot of men just don’t get the ways that sex is different for women.
Also the fact you went out of your way to specify that you don’t want a relationship makes a person think that you don’t want a relationship.
Most people would consider light dating without sex to be between friendship and relationship.
!Remindme 3 days
He's literally telling you, flat out, that an avalanche beacon, a new snowboard, and a trip to Alaska, are more important to him than your peace of mind, a happy relationship with you, sex with you, and general closeness.
I wouldn't put up with that, you've been ridiculously patient with him. I'd give an ultimatum, rather than move rooms, if I were in your shoes. “The teeth get fixed by (date) or out relationship ends.” There would be no negotiation, that is horrible.
And I frankly don't care if he has dental anxiety, which is sounds like he does. He needs to deal with his physical and mental health issues, and the impact they have on his relationship, and on you. And instead, he is prioritising snowboarding. Thats not good enough.