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Golden Ticket Show In Progress. Tip 15 to join the show
Date: February 23, 2023
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WeekendPussy
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200_FREE_TOKEN_SPRING_SURPRISE
You're crazy for still staying in this marriage.
Your boyfriend not defending you is an issue. If you decide to stand up for yourself would he back you at the very least
Do you have a place to go?
6YO’s are incredibly astute and have great memories. They aren’t toddlers. My 2YO has no clue what’s going on besides apple juice and snacks.
Just leave. If you've decided to divorce him, it doesn't matter whether he knows you know or not.
don't be that guy that dates a roommate. Those relationships are borne out of what I call “ease of access” since you both are likely around each other a lot already. She's right, you two would need to move into separate places before dating to give it a real shot, ESPECIALLY if you tried while living under teh same roof and things went bad.
How long ago was this ex? Why would they pop right up if you were just sending the most recent pictures?
They just wanted to know how to clear their mind after they realized prior to getting together the fiancé told them one thing about a activity with a guy but the diary said they had more guys prior.
Did you wash the goods before hand???? Always wash the goods before sexy time!
Man that’s some fucked up shit! Happy Birthday ?
Among other things, what makes this especially unique is that you’ve only been together for two months; a time where you’d generally be firmly in the honeymoon period. Obviously every situation isn’t the same, but two months is still a very short time to be having these concerns.
To be clear, I’m not dismissing you for having them. This is your life we’re talking about here and if this is reality, it’s important to address it.
The thing though is that you’re just speculating right now. You might very likely be right to be concerned, but as it stands, most things are good and you’re just predicting problems, which is creating a new insecurity.
To reiterate, I believe you’re right to be concerned. Independence is important and healthy in a relationship. But you also have the ability to control that. You don’t have a social circle? Work to create one (and I get it’s not easy). You also need to be able to enjoy being alone and doing things you love to do. Him the same.
It’s fine that you both assume each other is free; you literally are and I imagine you’ve told each other as much. But you can sometimes just say “hey, I just want to [do whatever makes you happy] today.”
You can and should talk to him about this. Of course he deserves a healthy relationship. But so do you. Good luck.
It’s literally his flair. He is explicitly identifying as a “late 20s white male”, I don’t see the problem with incorporating that into my analysis of his bias and oversimplification if this when he’s actively inviting it.
Secondly you’re just tone policing and while I was a little prickly in my response I am sticking to the topic, unlike you who is tearing me down for speaking a bit out of line.
Didn’t realize there was zero room for snark or sarcasm anywhere here.
But sure, I’ll stick to being incredibly serious and completely non-confrontational
I like having separation between my work day and my personal life, this would interrupt that and also interrupt my work day, I feel like most people feel the same? I’d call wanting to talk while I’m at work is a red flag. It feels like checking to make sure I’m actually at work.
Lol not your friend, what he doing is mad predatory idc. Watch how he’s gonna call you homophobic now
Get a paternity test before you sign the birth certificate
I will definitely talk to him about it. I didn’t tell him anything yet. To be honest, he was always nice and respectful with me. But I’m a bit shocked, I wasn’t ready to hear that
Honest to god, you're getting a ton of deserved hate, but he needs to gain some self-respect, too. I mean a 17-year relationship, and he has feelings for her? He needs to be separated from her to decide if he actually likes her as a friend or is “Friendzoned” and she keeps him around to boost her confidence. If it's the latter, treat him right and he will worship the ground you walk on.
you could always just tell him that you lied in the beginning thinking it was just a fling, and then didn't know how to tell him when things got really real.
I agree, but I don't know how to approach the conversation. It's clearly a place of insecurity, but I feel like I can't just tell him he's insecure and expect him to fix that.
I've been trying to encourage him to go to therapy for a while now, but he doesn't have great insurance and spends his money on unnecessary things (I wouldn't go so far as to call him financially irresponsible, but it's annoying when he says he can't afford therapy but he can spend $200 on plants in a weekend). He can choose what to spend his money on, but it's like, dude, a therapist would help fix your shit so much better than retail therapy
WTF IS WRONG WITH THE INTERNET TODAY
Yeah seriously. The guy is 39 and still acting like this.
Yeah seriously. The guy is 39 and still acting like this.
Yeah… it's possible she's cheating but with no other evidence I would not end a relationship based on one person's word, especially if they weren't like a years long trusted friend
If it has been 3 years and you can't move on you go to therapy, you don't start a fake profile and reengage. Delete and block everywhere
Go to therapy. What you are doing up until now isn't working. It's the only way through & you deserve to move on, but you are currently trapped in a loop.
Yeh I think maybe it’s that, as he has had this in the past.
Just break bad and have a PI follow him
Where did it say it was a place known for hookups. You could literally say that about any place.
Yes you’re right! It’s easy for someone on the internet to say “just leave!” It’s rarely that simple though, and sometimes people are worth the conversation and effort! I hope you guys can discuss your concerns and maybe she’ll be receptive. It can help you both grow and move forward in new ways. Wishing you guys the best!
Stop doing services for them. Stop ALL of it.
You're not even really dating and she's already making you feel like shit for something you can't control. Why the hell are you apologizing for not being a virgin? Were you supposed to know you were going to meet someone saving themselves for marriage, how dare you not see the future.
Honestly, it doesn't matter whether he did coke or not. He acted completely out of proportion and embarrassed you. If my partner was concerned about me enough to ask if I had done coke and I didn't, I would probably be confused, but I wouldn't leave and start screaming about. If he's lying about doing drugs then it's the cherry on top of his asshole sundae.
I read a lot of your comments and my take away is this. You say it is her father's house. Her father pays the phone bill. You have to beg for sex, and other stuff. It gives me the idea that she thinks you're beneath her (lack of better word). Is this guy her boss, manager? It is all giving a vibe that you're not exciting to her (I could be, or hopefully be talking out of my ass). If her dad is a stand up guy, you could ask him to ask for the carrier bill or whatever it is to at least put your mind at ease. Otherwise, this is a lost cause. Sorry man.
Getting coffee as friends is fine. But he's married, so best just remain friends.
That does not matter and your lack of empathy is a you issue. You're the one who broke your relationship with your sister and if you refuse to see that it's on you. Leave your sister alone.
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I am in utter disbelief right now. This man does not trust me at ALL. Mind you I have not done anything remotely questionable to make him doubt me at all. He assumes when I’m on my phone tilting it to the left I’m hiding something when that’s not the case. He’s gone through my phone twice and went through personal messages between me and a close friend. Adding to that he’s went through my laptop and then didn’t even tell me until it was convenient for him to ask me a question so he could catch me in a lie. I could go on and on and he questions me in why I get defensive, but it is so irritating to be with someone who does not trust you AT ALL. I get questioned for everything. Two weeks ago he came into the apartment and we usually make our own little personal pies for dinner. I usually eat almost my entire pizza alone, usually only leaving one slice. Mind you I was home not only 30 minutes before he got home. He accused me of having someone over because and I quote “I never finish my pizza” he assumed I had someone come over in the span of his 30 minute commute and shared my last little slice. I believe we all have some form of trust issues but this is insane. He was hurt in the past and cheated on by his exes and friends but that has nothing to do with me.
Which brings me to today, I go into the living room and I see him with headphones on. I’m like that’s weird he usually leaves for work. So he closes out his tabs and leaves. I call him after and ask him what was that about and he goes nothing it was nothing. Then he confesses he thinks I’m doing something and he is so certain he “caught me” because he had his mic set up and he heard me moaning. I am literally in disbelief because all morning yesterday we were texting because of his trust issues for him to go and do this? Based on the recording he said it was around 12:30/1pm when at that time I get ready for work because I left no later than 1:30. At this point I’m just in utter shock that he would go that far when I have not done anything.
Your reproductive rights pretty much stop when she gets pregnant. If she chooses to keep the baby, you're on the hook for it no matter what. Better to wrap it up or get out.
dont came here crying when he breack up with you for not cuting the future boyfriend out after such disrespect to him
Update: after some investigation, you hit this one right on the head. Thank you
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I’m going to vent a bit too, I’m sorry but I need it.
This week was my bday and I always made clear how important the date is for me. We are together for an year and spoke about it multiple times. In January was his birthday and I made sure he had the best time ever, late he confessed the surprise party I organized for just the two of us was the nicest thing someone ever done to him.
I wasn’t expecting much from him for my bday, honestly, because I've frustrated myself several times expecting something from him and maybe that’s my fault. But managed to be worse than what I expected, I communicated all my (little) expectations and he managed to just ignore it. We went to a restaurant that I always wanted to go and he drove his motorcycle completely drunk, almost killed us, complained about the food and the price all the time and said he wouldn’t give me a gift. We always make deals when it comes to exchange gifts (set a price or say what we want) and this time wasn’t different.
During my bday party he mocked me in front of my and his friends, said he would make me pay my own bill because I bought a fancy gift for myself (a new cellphone that I worked for it) and refused to give me a ride home.
But I still had some kind of hope on a surprise or something, but he went to a solo trip for the weekend and I don’t know how to react.
I was already hurt because he’s always going on solo trips, going out with single friends, not including me on plans and I never knew how to communicate this hurt me without sounding like a spoiled baby. I know time alone is important, but I always need to make plans by myself, never for us. So what’s the point of being a couple?
Any advice on how to communicate about how hurted and dissapointed I am?
21 year age gap! She was 39 and he was apparently 18 when it started although still in high school
The usual advice to betrayed partners is as follows: gym/exercise, eat well and hydrate, don't drink alcohol to excess, read, get back into old hobbies or pick up a new one.
The goal is to 1) Occupy your mind with better things than your fuckboy ex. 2) Improve your mind and body at the same time. 3) Get back in touch with YOU–who you were before the fuckboy and who you want to be after him.
There's a light at the end of the tunnel. Just keep heading toward it, one step at a time. You deserve better. You got this!
“I’m sorry. I was completely wrong and I will NEVER go near your father ever again.” That’s your only choice.
I think none of the people downvoting me are Iranian or have been to the country. The problem isn’t the country or the people… its the government. Ffs
Do you think you'll be able to stay with her after hearing that? It's up to you. Personally, I'd be jaded.
Way to shoot straight. I like that. Lol
I’m sorry you’re dealing with this OP. I too once lived with a roommate who didn’t wash their hands after using the bathroom, so I know how terrible it can be. They would use the toilet, not wash, and then go to the kitchen, open food containers/then put them back, rummage through the silverware drawer, etc. It took a huge toll on me mentally and actually caused me to develop contamination OCD.
You’ve already explained your concerns to your partner which they’ve ignored, and you suggested several compromises which they rejected. Unfortunately their isn’t much else you can do. You won’t find the magic words to make them change if none of your previous discussions have worked and they refuse to compromise. It’s up to you to decide if this is something you can live with or not, and if not then it might be time to breakup.
Teaching good habits to your children is only one concern, do you really want to worry if your partner washed their hands after using the bathroom before eating or being intimate (just sounds like a recipe for a vaginal infection).
If you want to imply that you're happy, just say “I recovered and I've moved on from you.” If you wanted to be petty, find a good looking man, ask him if he could pose with you, as if he's your boyfriend. “I'm happy and I've moved on” then block him.
He seems so egotistical that I bet he thought masses of people would be in support of him. Disgusting.
Why are you creating new user names and spamming this? It's disingenuous to come to a sub seeking advice on ones relationship and wasting the time of people who come here, in goodwill, to offer advice and care. Copying and pasting the same message and posting from various user names is what trolls do.
Oh yeah, you should definitely not be asking women at work for their numbers. It’s important to remember that women in service industries are actively being paid to be nice to you. That’s the same for baristas, strippers, and the person at Target.
But you’ve already done it now so you’ll learn your lesson. Or maybe you’ll be one of the 0.5% that works out.
But, what does his message mean or say?
If its rape for a drunk man to have sex with a drunk woman then what OPs mom did was also rape.
Exactly what I thought too. You wouldn't catch evidence of this between toes unless you knew exactly what to look for.
I’m in the UK so that’s actually legal here. I’ve distanced myself from him & will continue to do so, it’s just such a stressful situation, the last part is my thoughts too, I would never want him to be alone with the baby
A similar thing happened to a close family member of mine, though after his parents had already passed. Took a 23andme type test, and found he had numerous half-siblings he had never heard of before. Safe to say everyone was shocked.
With the proliferation of these types of tests and unexpected results, there are now support groups out there with people dealing with exactly this. Just raising that thought in case it is helpful to your father, and particularly you, for dealing with your feelings and talking to others in a similar situation. I read below that you feel guilty about the whole situation – while that's understandable you need to know that none of this is your fault in the slightest. That's easy to say as an outsider but it's the truth.
Keep being supportive of your father, I think he needs that right now. And be clear to your mother that her avoiding any discussion of this will not be tolerated and will only drive your father away, and potentially you and your siblings away along with him. She needs to know that if there is ANY chance at fixing this, it's for her to be transparent, upfront and honest.
1) Giving out fake numbers is becoming less effective, because guys nowadays will call the number immediately to check if it's real
2) Lots of guys don't care if the woman they're pursuing has a boyfriend. OP even said that his girlfriend did the the guy that she's taken, and he still kept pushing
She’s still friends with a guy she used to fuck and have a romantic interest in. It’s just plain naivety and ignorance to think that she was wouldn’t entertain something with him again given the opportunity.
From what I gathered from OP’s post, it HER always reaching out to him, asking how he’s been. The only reason she probably doesn’t have him right now is because he doesn’t want her.
Less conspiracy and more radicalization, everything her side believes is right. If you stand fast in a contrary belief she gets belligerent. Sometimes over small meaningless stuff that doesn't effect our day to day lives.
So if you got him off, was he going to return the favor?
This is a genuinely awful thing to say. “Bonus kid from my husband's previous relationship, we're a blended family” is SO COMMON and not at all shameful. If anything, “we've moved him over here to give him the same opportunities as his siblings” is a worthy brag, IMO. She's deeply wrong and this house of cards WILL collapse on her when people realise the truth. I really feel for your son.
Also, the huge lack of foresight that the son and/or his father would eventually (unintentionally) expose her lying by mentioning the truth?
Then don't. She needs to sort this out.
.. and he wouldn't clarify what the “joke” was? Hmm..
OP specifically says in the first sentence that her husband knew these guys from their wedding and that she slept with “some of them”. Also, these weren’t friends husbands, these were the friends. I definitely think it needs to be discussed. Because if not, something like this happens and it can be relationship ending. This applies to if OP was a man or woman too. At least that’s my thought.
Well obviously your BF knows you well but not well enough, as a week wasn’t long enough.
The fact that you had this reaction to your dad finding someone who might share his life is incredibly concerning.
It was your dads secret to tell, and he didn’t want you to know, because he knew, just like your BF that you would have a overblown reaction.
So pull your head out of your arse, keep your nose out of your dads life, and get some therapy.
Definitely gotta tell her now. It sucks, but in many states if you’re married the child is considered yours and you may end up having to pay child support down the road.
Life is too short to dump or step your serious long term partner who does everything else right and truly loves you because he doesn't go down on you
There's always 3 sides to a story: HIS, HERS AND THE TRUTH.
Bro this is her on her best behavior.
What if he always talks about our future together? He seems to be very proactive with including us together in future plans, but where he falls back is showing me present-tense romance and purposely avoiding doing certain things for me because of her. It’s not always prevalent every day, but I can tell because he’s never bought me flowers or taken me on a surprise date before. It’s not something I think about every day but it’s something that’s noticeable. Is he really a lost cause, or is there something I can say or do, even non-verbally to make him snap out of it and realize what he has I front of him? He always says that I’m an upgrade and that she taught him what love shouldn’t be, always saying that I’m perfect and giving me compliments and that I’m completely different from her, but I feel like even though I’m “better”, he still has a rotting piece of hatred for her in his heart regardless of how much better I am. She seemed to imprint on him but I don’t think it can stay that way forever, can it?
Question: Did the two of you ever discuss getting married before this conversation?
Just be grateful you aren't poor like me.