I'd probably block you too. You guys ended your romantic relationship amicably and decided to remain friends right? You got into a new relationship and bf abused your friend so what do you do? You cut off your friend instead of your bf. And once that relationship ends, you reach back out to friend since you can talk to him again. Maybe you don't realize this but that's hella insulting. A long time ago I decided that if I have to fight to keep my friends in my life because of my bf, well bf can kick rocks. I've been with my husband for 16 years and he never once told me who i can and can't be friends with. Just a little advice for the future, never let your SO tell you who you can be friends with. Never drop a friend who did nothing wrong for some guy. If the friend sucks then obviously drop them but otherwise, your friendships are not your bfs business or his place to control.
He deserves to know that his wife lied to him and is still lying to him. She only told him a a small part not the whole truth if they are going to work on their marriage he needs the whole truth so he knows just how far the cheating went and how little remorse both of you have. If their marriage ends because of the lies its both you and the woman you had an affair with faults.
Are you ready to have a kid with this guy? If someone messed with your birth control, or if you were sexually assaulted and got pregnant, you know he's going to make your life hell, right?
Yes, in a marriage spanning multiple years or a partnership of the same caliber telling your partner your SSN can be safe but in the context of a relationship where you haven’t seen your partner in person and you’ve known them less than a year I feel confident that giving someone your SSN is a scam.
I mean, this doesn’t really answer my question but I do want to live my own life, Its just difficult rn for financial reasons and the fact that despite the way he acts, he acts like me leaving is gonna ruin his relationship with his mom
I watched some weird crap when I was younger ( 14ish) because I found it on my dads browser history. I peeked a couple more times just because i was so weirded out that my dad was looking at it.
I’m a completely boring vanilla person now almost 30 years later so honestly I don’t think it affected me much if at all. Obviously your gF feels guilty and I used to too but I got over it. Honestly kids do really stupid shit. As a mom now I facepalm at least once a day at the stupid shit my kids and their cousins do. My nephew, one day announced that he stuck his finger up his butt and felt a turd up there. There’s an entire sub dedicated to kids being stupid.
But you're open to having more kids with a hypothetical new spouse? Seems odd to me. If you're don't want more kids, then you don't want more kids. Why would you finding someone new change that?
People don't magically turn into who you need them to be, or start wanting and needing the same things you do, because they like you, not even if they want to. I mean, you liked her a lot, did that change what you wanted from her to be compatible with what she needed? On the flipside did liking her mean you were suddenly ready for marriage and kids right now? That's not how it works.
Actually this is partially true. I think she doesn't understand she's a numbers girl and prides herself with what she can do. Problem is her husband is reaping the benefits instead of THE FAMILY reaping the benefits. She is trying to impress her husband with her thriftiness but he really doesn't seem to care.
She can still have pride living a simpler life. Having 2 new cars to pay off is a luxury in itself l. Sell that puppy. Get a used commuter for 4 grand. No more car note.
47-50k isn't making or breaking the bank here. So while yes he is the breadwinner maybe he should be treated like the breadwinner. Put the money in one kitty and she budget where it all goes. Wouldn't matter who made what amount. What matters is equal parenting/partner roles here. Not equating your value to the dollar amount you earned.
I'd probably block you too. You guys ended your romantic relationship amicably and decided to remain friends right? You got into a new relationship and bf abused your friend so what do you do? You cut off your friend instead of your bf. And once that relationship ends, you reach back out to friend since you can talk to him again. Maybe you don't realize this but that's hella insulting. A long time ago I decided that if I have to fight to keep my friends in my life because of my bf, well bf can kick rocks. I've been with my husband for 16 years and he never once told me who i can and can't be friends with. Just a little advice for the future, never let your SO tell you who you can be friends with. Never drop a friend who did nothing wrong for some guy. If the friend sucks then obviously drop them but otherwise, your friendships are not your bfs business or his place to control.
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He deserves to know that his wife lied to him and is still lying to him. She only told him a a small part not the whole truth if they are going to work on their marriage he needs the whole truth so he knows just how far the cheating went and how little remorse both of you have. If their marriage ends because of the lies its both you and the woman you had an affair with faults.
Are you ready to have a kid with this guy? If someone messed with your birth control, or if you were sexually assaulted and got pregnant, you know he's going to make your life hell, right?
He's not pro-choice, he's forced birth.
Yes, in a marriage spanning multiple years or a partnership of the same caliber telling your partner your SSN can be safe but in the context of a relationship where you haven’t seen your partner in person and you’ve known them less than a year I feel confident that giving someone your SSN is a scam.
Sounds like you are walking on eggshells. Do you want to do this forever? You deserve your own opinions without emotional repercussions.
I mean, this doesn’t really answer my question but I do want to live my own life, Its just difficult rn for financial reasons and the fact that despite the way he acts, he acts like me leaving is gonna ruin his relationship with his mom
I watched some weird crap when I was younger ( 14ish) because I found it on my dads browser history. I peeked a couple more times just because i was so weirded out that my dad was looking at it.
I’m a completely boring vanilla person now almost 30 years later so honestly I don’t think it affected me much if at all. Obviously your gF feels guilty and I used to too but I got over it. Honestly kids do really stupid shit. As a mom now I facepalm at least once a day at the stupid shit my kids and their cousins do. My nephew, one day announced that he stuck his finger up his butt and felt a turd up there. There’s an entire sub dedicated to kids being stupid.
And I meant where were they taken? His house, yours etc
“I told him not to make jokes about it and he said sorry and that was the end of it.”
Well… it should have been, but here you are.
Yes, you're overreacting imo.
I get it, I hate those kind of jokes too, but no one was harmed by this, he apologized and presumable hasn't said it again so…
upward and onward friend.
But you're open to having more kids with a hypothetical new spouse? Seems odd to me. If you're don't want more kids, then you don't want more kids. Why would you finding someone new change that?
People don't magically turn into who you need them to be, or start wanting and needing the same things you do, because they like you, not even if they want to. I mean, you liked her a lot, did that change what you wanted from her to be compatible with what she needed? On the flipside did liking her mean you were suddenly ready for marriage and kids right now? That's not how it works.
Actually this is partially true. I think she doesn't understand she's a numbers girl and prides herself with what she can do. Problem is her husband is reaping the benefits instead of THE FAMILY reaping the benefits. She is trying to impress her husband with her thriftiness but he really doesn't seem to care.
She can still have pride living a simpler life. Having 2 new cars to pay off is a luxury in itself l. Sell that puppy. Get a used commuter for 4 grand. No more car note.
47-50k isn't making or breaking the bank here. So while yes he is the breadwinner maybe he should be treated like the breadwinner. Put the money in one kitty and she budget where it all goes. Wouldn't matter who made what amount. What matters is equal parenting/partner roles here. Not equating your value to the dollar amount you earned.