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Pussy Play [844 tokens remaining]
Date: October 28, 2022
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Thank you for the brutal truth
Then he needs to talk to his wife in more detail. A one line answer and shutting her out and down is unacceptable in a marriage.
Your rent is not his bill unless he lives with you. Splitting dinner and outings is reasonable. Unless he specifically pics extravagant options. You both benefit from the time you spend together so you both should contribute to it.
She is more than twice your age and could have children that are your age. Im not sure what to add to your friends comments.
How do I get them to stop?
Listen to their advice.
Maybe your insecurities were right.
Sure seems like it Very disrespectful to you
Break up with him, block him on everything, and call the police if he persists. One doesn't get to refuse when one's partner wants to break up. Break ups are a one yes two no situation.
Yeah,I was reading the last post lol. Id figure the clothes are probably fine, but the way he acts was a red flag (skirts and long socks? Skimpy?)
Naw, from your post anyone could tell that deep down you already knew this. ? good luck to you
White collar career? I am curious if it's just the culture of the job your in. I'm blue collar in a medium size college town and only half of my peers are into partying, just gotta know where to look. I also matured quick, it feels so awkward not fitting in and wanting something serious.
How many hours a week do you work and spend with these professional organizations? If most of your time is spent at work then most of your people are going to be work related. It's a good idea not to date within the immediate circle of colleagues, but why are you worried so much about your reputation being hurt by dating a professional contact from your extended network? Do you feel like there is a lot of gossip in your industry? I have worked with quite a few married couples that work at the same company. I guess I don't see any problem with that.
Dude, do your own emotional labor! If you know you have issues, don't look for a woman to fix it unless they're your therapist. Everyone has issues, but if you are working on them it will make you a lot more attractive to women.
Don’t date someone with the sole goal of changing them to be what you want.
It’s unfair and toxic.
“My roommates who I’ve been paying bill for has quit her job and demands previous economic arragements to remain on a permanent basis. Reddit, what do?”
Tell kid to pass regards to mom next time n watch his face
They are probably teenagers
There are a growing number of virgin men well into their late 20s. It's just never talked about.
And then he ignored you until he wanted a fuck.
He thinks you’re attractive.
Honey, he’s 1) an attorney and 2) in family law, at that. He’s a sly, manipulative son of a bitch who’s worked your beautifully smitten teenage naïveté from day one. You KNOW what you need to do, so DO IT. You’re a woman, a mama, strong and proud and you need to show your children you don’t allow being spoken to or treated that way, by anyone, woman or man, ESPECIALLY their FATHER.
I'm am usually really against supporting a freak out: but this was not a prank. This was like something else. Maybe they don't like him and were trying to sow doubt or something? I mean: literally this is not a prank; no one would ever do this thinking it would be funny for everyone involved. I mean your pregnant: no one does this especially to a pregnant woman. Something is up with your family.
Trust your husband; sounds like he understands. Don't trust them. Don't be embarrassed; just start fresh tomorrow and focus on him. This is a forgivable moment of losing it; just make sure you and him are good.
Rage bait
Are you ok with not being married? Because it sounds like she doesn’t want to be married
I saw them later. Got whole ither comments on those as well.
The baby is 11 months old. How long have you been together? Where is the mom? I need more info
Get the kid into therapy asap
Please go to therapy. Things didn’t work out with her, but there is someone special waiting to find someone like you! You are valid, your feelings are valid but not worth harming yourself, and you deserve someone who will value you. P.S. many women aren’t interested in younger guys, you are not aged out
If childcare is your only concern, then I think it's reasonable to have once-in-a-lifetime events, like a 5-day trip with friends for a bachelor party. He's offered assistance via babysitter help, do you have any family or friends that could also help for a 5-day vacation?
NAH. but you would be if you just say no without trying to make it work.
This incident was just the breaking point. I’m not talking abt random men, I’m talking about male friends. Maybe I’m just too drunk and a bit frustrated, also I have nothing to lose by putting up a Reddit post.
You do know there's still conversations about it? Like part of being a couple, you communicate so that you are on the same page. I think that's probably universal lol. A majority of the comments are about the fact that there has been only one conversation according to OP where he gave the literal opposite impression.
Thank you for your insight, it is much appreciated
She should pay 3300 and you should pay 1600 or approx about that much. If she makes double you, it's only fair she pays two thirds and you pay 1 third as then it's more equal in terms of income to spending ratios if that makes sense.
Oh nooooo how dare a woman cut her hair and look like a….gulp….lesbian. Get the fuck outta here. Haircuts don’t equal sexuality you can not like a hair style and not put other woman down you know.
I don't understand your question.
You are asking whether you should break up with your boyfriend now because several years ago, he said you were amazing?
Kiddo, why are you trying to create drama?
To sum up
As soon as 3 months in, he started guilt tripping you and pushing you to have sex all the time even when you didn't want it
He was too rough and hurt you during sex every time, despite you begging him not to
7 months in he blindsided you with a public proposal and threw a huge tantrum when you said you weren't ready
y'all split for 2 months during which he creepily stalked you wherever you went
he pretended to change for 5 months, so you married him
Every single time you've posted on reddit, everyone has told you to run. Why do you keep posting? Let me make it easier for you. No matter what you say about this guy, the advice will be exactly the same. Leave. Him.
Get off the lease.
If this is who he is after 9 months of scratching the surface, then deep down it’s much, much worse. This is just him trying to keep himself under “control” to prevent you from leaving. Don’t fall for it.
Get a abortion
He was right that you should have stayed at home and not run the risk of infecting your classmates. It doesn't have to be Covid to hospitalize someone with a weakened immune system! It's fucking irresponsible!
However, handcuffing you against your will and imprisoning you for the day is absolutely an unacceptable solution. First thing, get rid of the handcuffs. He cannot be trusted with them. Second, tell him that if he EVER does anything like that to you again, the relationship will be over and you will be filing charges.
Links?
Married to a 23 year old. How much you want to bet they’ve been together longer than she’s been 18
He sounds exhausting and neggy (not to be confused with naggy). You listed examples of him undermining your intelligence, not caring about your boundaries, taking slights where there are none, thinking your sexuality or perception of beauty is for his benefit, etc. The general vibe I get from him is that he wants to throw you off, undermine you, and control your actions and or make you more docile and agreeing to his suggestions.
I don’t understand. Are you saying he should prioritize extravagant vacations over saving money?
I think you should cut your losses and leave Oedipus and Jocasta to their happy marriage
Let me guess: EDS?
Sorry no. Me stepping in is a step towards a fight, that's an escalation.
Yep, she’s actually doing the right thing which is refreshing to see for a change. Usually the posts here are about best friends over stepping lines, flirting and trying to steal the boyfriend. This one is realizing the issue and doing what she feels will resolve it. OP needs to just be thankful of that and let it be.
The help avoid unpleasant smells don’t matter they?
Maybe he can’t flirt if you’re with him.
You definitely do not HAVE to give him a BJ or do anything you don't want to do. However, you may not be sexually compatible and that may end up being a deal breaker. Part of being in a relationship before marriage is figuring out if you are compatible. It doesn't mean one of you is “right” and one is “wrong,” it just means you may or may not be sexually compatible. There are many aspects that you need to be compatible with to be lifelong partners–you need to agree on children, religion, sex, finances, etc.
You don't. You leave. You cant fix him
They don’t actually leak them, it happened to me once and I just laughed and said do it, they just deleted me and left
You are not in the wrong at all and were far more understanding than most people would be, in my opinion, far too understanding. I wouldn't feel one speck of sympathy for her. She is manipulating you. I bet she started crying because she knew she had been caught.
You should be extremely worried, regardless of her excuses or how faithful she has previously been. I know people who were married for 20 plus years and completely faithful to each other, and then one cheats and leaves the other one. I would not believe she is really going to cut off contact with him. She's probably just going to hide it better. She has been lying to you the whole time for a reason. She knows she has bad intentions and has this whole time. What makes you think she's going to be truthful now after not being truthful this whole time? Also, it doesn't matter if he's married either, I'm sure his wife would be just as upset as you. If that guy leaves his wife, your marriage is over. I would leave her immediately. She is one hundred percent emotionally cheating on you, plus she's the one that has pursued him, and her friend is doing the same thing to his wife. She is probably in love with him, but he won't take the next step. If they haven't done anything psychically yet, I guarantee it's not because they don't want to.
Does he showed this aggresive tendencies before the affair?
She shouldn't have to say she has a boyfriend. She shut him down regardless and, most importantly, he has a girlfriend. You sound very insecure and immature.
Not just one red flag either. It’s a whole damn parade.
Yep, she's going to find out the hard way.
He's a controlling jerk.. just end this toxic relationship. You had an argument. You forgetting a fake 'holiday' and refusing a bj is not abuse.. neither is calling him on his behaviour.
That was not the question. How would you feel if you were the third choice??? If he had fucked and then ended up with you,?
I’d take my advice one step further: If you do learn he cheated, try to avoid a knee-jerk departure. I don’t condone deception or lying (even though so many of us do just that ), I do think monogamy is overly-fetishized to the point where cheating becomes the only alternative. The discovery then becomes an elaborate passion play of handwringing and righteous outrage. There are soooo many long term couples I know in happy satisfying unions that are not on monogamous relationships. No scandals ever.
I work in child protection and come across this. I know someone personally who was 12 when he raped his 8 year old sister. He said “I didn’t exactly knew why it was wrong, but I knew it was wrong as soon as I started.”
This guy claimed he hadn’t been a victim of sexual violence but he was a victim of physical abuse from his parents at times.
Anyway, this family sounds like a mess and it’s time to get away from it. Imagine having kids with a person who sexually groomed and molested their sister. You would never feel safe leaving your kids with him. You will also never get this information out of your head. Who else knows? Who’s safe to talk to in the family? Which adults are hiding abusive skeletons that you will become entrenched with?
Ok so let's approach this with what is in all fairness, a quite valid stereotype for men. We are possessive. Not always necessarily in a toxic way, but that's YOUR partner.
That's where you choose to find your peace, happiness, all that good stuff.
Having an ex hang around casts doubt on your security in a relationship, like it does with most people, let's face it, it does.
I'm sorry but unless she's absolutely dim/naive (which you might be cool with) she would have known this, and that's your real issue, that she's doing something to you that she wouldn't like herself. That issue would be a lack of empathy.
It's your call though, whether you believe she's naive, and whether this isn't an indicator of future issues to come revolving round a lack of empathy
He's not turned off by your boobs. He liked them just fine before he knew.
No, I think he's turned off by the realisation that he couldn't tell the difference, and he's one of those who's made his preference for boobs au naturel an intrinsic part of his identity. So now he has an identity (identitty?) crisis because he knows another fact about you.
Congratulations! The power of your boobs is enough to destabilise identities and shatter illusions!
You are failing to meet her need for a bottomless wallet. Are you ready for a life of being used and yelled at by a shallow, vapid person who cares about showing off a fake life on social media?
If you're a strong couple, rings and paper work will only get you so far. Imo, 10 months is still too early for marriage and buying houses NRE or not.
Additionally, don't let society push you around. You guys should do things at your own pace. Plenty of people don't start a family until their 30s and still live very happy lives. If everything is going well for you, don't bother to compare arbitrary metrics like houses and marriages.
Is this farming for karma? You do nothing but make up excuses. She isn't gonna call the cops and even if she dies, her name is not on the lease… after 7 years. You going back in to kiss her after she's treated you this way says YOU have some unresolved issues with self-esteem too, or you wouldn't even be tolerating her treatment. Most of the posters here are probably in the US and cops have better shit to deal with than monkeybranching gfs. Buy her ass a bus ticket to her moms and wipe your hands of this whole issue. If it was this easy to get her to relapse then she won't EVER be over the guy. Buy a fleshlight and count yourself lucky that it can't be crazy because you've obviously broken rule #1 for 7 years.
You know this is an excuse, he knows you weren’t talking to your ex. He’s trying to blame you for his actions.
No. Let it go. Time for self reflection here. Often someone breaking up “out of the blue” is the result of weeks or months of thinking about it. For whatever reason, doesn’t think your futures are in alignment. Could be distance, life goals, ambitions, ..? She’s made herself clear however. Hold your head up and move on, show her what life is like without you.
He put you down, destroy your self-esteem. Those are insults and not “observations”. If they were just observation, he would say them neutral,bad he say them as an insult, he would also say positive stuff as you hace great hair, soft skin… And also not reduce them on you. Does he say his penis is small is ugly? That he gets a dad-bod and his hair gets thinner? Of course not. This is not love. He is abusive. He has no respect for you.
Would you insult the person you love like this? And if they tell you that the commentshurt you, you just play it down and keep going. If he really were just innocent stupid with those comments, he would have stopped when you first get upset about them. But he keeps going. He knows exactly what he is doing. He WANTS to hurt you. Ruin your self-esteem, so you won't leave him, even when he start to treat you more awful. You just see a little part of his true abusive self.
He should read up on “death grip syndrome.” The fact that he can O via masturbation would be an indication that he might have this. It can be addressed without forking out a bunch of cash.
This is great advice for you OP. You have described enough to show they like you very much. I think if you were to communicate like this it would really help a lot in this situation.
Half your post is pushing off responsibility for your fuck up. It was the alcohol, she encouraged you to go for it, it’s retribution… dude she should not forgive you. Anyone deserves better, than a partner like you.
You decided to listen to her drunk instructions instead of the sober ones???
Shame on you. Unless you learn to take responsibility for your actions you will only ever be the toxicity in other people’s life.
He is doing it out of a sense of obligation. Guys break their neck trying to get sex, then when they get, they don’t want it anymore. Sad reality of hundreds of thousands of relationships