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Date: September 23, 2022
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He wants to upgrade to a bang maid.
Just say no!
Be confident. That's the best advice I can give you. It's always going to be difficult and a bit nerve-wracking to put yourself out there, fotlr fear of rejection, but be confident and direct. Don't be overbearing, but make it clear you'd like to take her out. Find out what she likes to do, and take her to do that. The worst thing you can do is stay in a weird friend role with unspoken tension. Worst that can happen is she says no and you move on, but avoid torturing yourself. Good luck dude. Keep that chin up.
Wasn’t in the post, so comment based on the info provided ?♀️
My sister married a Shawn 20some years ago.
I promise you he is just the same today as he was then.
He literally gags – yes, gags – when he smells bananas because he doesn't like the way they smell. He doesn't like fruits, veggies, “green” things, or “chunky things” in his sauces (ie veggies). The only veggie he eats is lettuce. I swear, his “salads” are lettuce and ranch.
He hasn't gained weight, but that's his metabolism. He does have high cholesterol, high blood pressure and diabetes type 2. They have 3 kids, 2 of whom eat very similarly to him, though they are branching out.
Your life will forever be like this. He will have days where he feels like shit, and you will be frustrated because you know it's because he doesn't take care of himself.
You are not his mother. Cook for yourself, and if he wants to eat it, great. If not, that's fine. Just know that if you want a partner in your health journey, this man isn't it.
You just have to determine if that's okay with you or not. No right or wrong universal answer here – just right or wrong for you.
Imagine considering actually going. ?♂️
So the weed thing: februari 2020 we both agree that it would be for the best that we don't smoke everyday because of health reasons. During that time we tried to find a way of cutting back that would work for him (only smoking in the weekends, me hiding the weed, him only smoking outside) but that never lasted more then a few weeks and then he went back to smoking everyday. This caused a lot of conflict and resentment because a) I felt like he wasn't trying his hardest and b) he always 'defended' himself and his weed and c) it was definitely an extra challenge for me to not start again and d) I didn't feel like neighter of us respected my bounderies. I had a few periods during those 2 years were I didn't smoke for a couple of months but then relapsed everytime because I got tempted a lot and I made the decision to smoke (almost) everyday again. I'm not mad at him for smoking the amount he is smoking now, in fact I should be happy with it. This is an amount I can live with, it's the amount of conflict and the underlying issues it brought to the surface that makes me doubt.
Breakups are really hard, especially at your age. Tell your friends you don’t want updates on him, don’t peek at his social media, delete all your pics of him or put them in a folder where you won’t see them normally.
This is what I did to get over a really bad breakup at your age. It’s like an addiction in the beginning; keeping yourself busy and not talking to/thinking about him will help and if you slip up, it’ll set you back. Time will heal it. I was so goddamn inconsolable when I broke up with my ex at 19, and now I’m almost 25 and I’m getting married to my fiancé this October. Life goes on, and he will be a distant memory in your happy life
You've got two different problems going in here, and they're both almost certainly irreconcilable.
First, this blowjob thing… You have every right to not enjoy it. It sounds like you've made an effort to get comfortable with it, which is commendable, but it's just not working for you. So at the end of the day, if you don't like it, you don't like it. And if you don't like it, you don't have to do it.
Conversely, he has every right to not want to be in a relationship where blowjobs don't exist if they're that important to him. Neither of you is in the wrong, but it's a serious incompatibility. Unless you're both willing to compromise (yes, blowjobs, but maybe infrequently), this isn't going to work. And it's okay if it doesn't. You'll each need to find someone else that more closely matches your own alignment.
The second problem… He doesn't recognize it as an incompatibility. He doesn't fully understand how much of a struggle this is for you, and thinks you should just get over it and suck him off. It's a problem because even though he's aware of your discomfort on some level, he's mostly disregarding it in favor of his own desires. In short, he's disrespecting you. He needs to recognize it for what it is: a deal breaker. He needs to stop trying to shove his dick in your mouth and accept if he stays with you, he doesn't get blowjobs, and if that's not good enough, leave with some dignity.
It's also really shitty of him to cum in your mouth when you specifically ask him not to. My wife and I have been together 23 years. She enjoys going down on me, and I can't remember the last time she didn't swallow. And I STILL warn her each and every single time just in case this is the time she's not in the mood.
You're going to have to face the fact that you guys just aren't made for each other, and after his latest display of disrespect, the onus is on you to that initiative. He was so easily swayed by his friends not because he's weak-willed, but because he's never fully accepted the situation, and they just sparked a renewed effort.
Just know that, as you start dating again, most guys are going to want blowjobs, and a large percentage of those are going to consider it a deal breaker. They're not wrong for wanting it just like you're not wrong for not wanting it, so it's a conversation you're going to have to have early and often with people you date to ensure you're in the same page.
And don't set a precedent by giving early blowjobs because you're in the heat of the moment with someone new. They'll always remember the one you gave them when you first started dating and wonder why it can't keep happening.
Dad definitely does not like your girlfriend. This is absolutely baffling behavior and completely inappropriate. Gross
Really glad you decided to investigate further in a clever way. Most would treat her like shit and break up and/or contribute further to her ruined reputation at work/socially. It’s true video quality doesn’t transfer well between android/iPhone-I’ve had both. It’s always glitchy and the resolution is heavily pixilated. People can be horrible & it’s worse when you think they are friends. She will find new, mature friends in time.
She's nuts if she ever steps in the same building as him, unless it's a court house to sign divorce papers.
Understood. I'll do it. Btw she knows it's casual and she's not committed too, we both just wanted to test the waters, it's only been two weeks. But how to not be shallow? (And please no need to be so demeaning, I'm just trying to get help)
I’m glad you broke up. A 25 year old creeping on a 19 yr old is sketch.
As I am a “I’ll tell you if you have spinach in your teeth” kind of friend, Id matter of factly lay out what happened without any embellishments or judgements attached