Go and stay with your friends, close family. ANYONE. You aren’t safe with him You don’t have to tell anyone, nor are you entitled to now. But your family deserve to know eventually so you can protect yourself from him. He’s a monster
Yes. Why not? How would he prove she specifically took his passport? She should just go throw it in a lake somewhere and pretend she has no idea where it is. If he pushes her on it, she can turn it back on him. Say it's his passport. Why he blaming her for him displaying his own important belongings. It could delay things for an extra few weeks while she prepares and safeguards herself.
Your points are valid and not wrong. If that's the case then tell her it's OK to ask for help. I know you can't be there physically when she is feeling low. So let her know that it's OK if she is not good enough. Tell her asking for help is amazing. I have found that people on the spectrum tend to not ask for help when they might want to. The point I am getting at here is she will make the smallest thing seem huge in comparison. What is best now, reach out to her in the morning and ask how she feels, then go from there
My sister died from something similar. I learned a lot about the old treatments, the coming treatments, the less tested treatments and methods and the untested.
Honestly, I don't believe chemo actually works. But it sure as shit almost kills you.
Normally I would never write this to a cancer patient, but if you've been given a death sentence, it's probably the best thing you can hear. I'm no know-it-all hippie or anti science. I'm purely anti chemo. I believe it doesn't actually work.
I've experienced two other people with similar situations that are still alive, and I urge you to focus on the most modern treatments possible. Because it's so close now. An actual cure for cancer might be in the tests now.
I'm sorry if this sounds self serving or harsh or irresponsible. I hope you don't feel it that way. But the times when you still have energy, bodyweight and time is so so important.
At the very least you should consider a complete diet change. Cancer cells eat sugar. Starve them. My sister started too late maybe. Idk. You need to keep on as much weight as you can.
In my experience, it's one of those in-between expressions of affection (just like “I really appreciate you”, etc.), especially if you're a couple months into dating. In my past and current relationships, this sort of thing is tossed around right before the big “I love you”
You guys are at the point in your relationship where you're really getting to understand each other, and your feelings have begun to solidify. Both of you probably have “I love you” dancing at the tip of your tongue every time you're together haha
However, since you're still relatively new to your relationship, it's scary AF to take the next step, especially if you're the first person to say “I love you”. Naturally, the middle ground between “I love you” and something less personal is to say something like “you mean the world to me”
In all honesty, if you feel like you truly do love him, go ahead and tell him first!! It sounds like you're both to that point but are just too nervous to take that next step
Lord.. I've never said he expects me to go at his place. I'm not treated like an object, we're in a committed relationship and I'm fully aware of the age gap. My post wasn't about it tho, read it again. My issue is about my mom and her views about sex
Stop man, he should not try anything if he isn't comfortable and he can tell her the same. Done deal, you don't have to explore kinks to know you're not into it.
My dad isn’t anyone. Don’t project ur shitty relationship with ur dad onto mine. He’s my everything & my support system. If i feel risk of being abused, even if it is by my husbands father, i will tell him. Bye now.
This is really childish, I'm glad you did it though because she dodged a bullet.
Her leaving really early is likely due to the fact that she has a life, and it was just a hook-up. You texting her so soon after probably made her feel like you just used her for sex, and that shit is embarrassing, regardless of who you are.
Soooo now that we cleared that up, the future interactions you had make a ton of sense. She doesn't have much to say to the guy who used her for sex and callously texted her after that she wasn't your true desire. This is to be expected.
You clearly have such an inflated sense of self importance that you totally disregarded the very obvious implications of your actions, and expected HER to act like a fool and further embarrass herself trying to “fight for you” – despite the fact that you blatantly discarded her.
The fact that you are coming to Reddit and weren't able to conclude this on your own tells me you lack self awareness – work on that. Maybe you won't feel the need to resort to petty games if you had a little confidence in the quality of your character.
The fact that YOU are offended that she is acting the exact way anyone would expect her to is just… I laugh. I really do. You people create this absurd situations at other people's emotional expense and get so butthurt
Lesson learned? I hope so. You should really work on your self-worth… because resorting to hurting someone and trying to manipulate them into fighting for you is just so much work, and you would have been better served by being honest and accepting her answer – whether she likes you or not. You so desperately needed to have the upper hand here if she “rejected you” that you played yourself.
In the future, be straightforward. People don't like games.
We broke up twice. Once four months ago. That was him. And i broke up with him about a month ago. Both times he came back and apologised for his actions
Browse the betrayed spouse, infidelity, and surviving infidelty subs. You'll change your mind real quick. Being cheated on causes ptsd caused by betrayal trauma. It's lifelong sadness and depression. It permanently damages self confidence. If you care for lily at all, stay no contact.
If you do decide to get in touch with them, leave your wife first. You have proven that you are too weak to be faithful.
Your feelings are normal and valid. But if I were you, I wouldn’t do what your post title says and try to forget about it. Talk to your brother and tell him he hurt you. Hell, I’d take a picture of the bruises and send them. I would want him to at least acknowledge what he did. I have a brother myself and I know sometimes things can get a little heated during arguments but being honest and direct about what you feel is the best way. Otherwise you’re going to sit around like you are now and doubt yourself and feel bad.
You sound like an insecure predator tbh. You already kind of fucked her over with the kids, but I hope she's able to have a little bit of a life now that she's gone. Best thing you could have possibly done for her was not let her come back- you thought you were hurting her but you were doing her a favor. Sounds like she was trauma bonded with you for a bit, and had no idea what do to without you since since you're all she's known since she left her parents house. So, congratulations on pouncing on a “barely legal” and stealing 7 years of her life from her, then kicking her to the curb when she checks notes did nothing even somewhat suspicious. Oh, she was privately messaging someone from a group chat? Okay? Yeah, sounds like a giant red flag dude. One can only hope you at least have the deceny to make efforts towards the kids, but you sound like the type to forget about the entire family so you can go prowl for another barely legal and convince her to waste her late teens and early 20s with you until she begins to get too old for you and you kick her to the side as well.
It hopefully isn't her intent, but she is creating a paper trail that could be used as evidence of a history of abuse. If at some point in the future she wanted to blackmail you or otherwise hurt you, she has evidence to bring a case against you (it would be weak in court, but enough to trigger an investigation). If you stay with her, you have to get her to stop. If she doesn't stop, run
“Boys will be boys” my ass. You're a coworker, not a sex object.
Address this directly with your colleague. It's inappropriate and unprofessional, and it needs to stop. Tell him that you wanted to bring this up privately first, because you know he's just joking around ? but if it doesn't stop you will be forced to report it to his supervisor.
And if he doesn't respect that or tries to downplay his behavior, wait for a week to see if it stops and then report his ass.
I know a couple of guys that had kids because their wives wanted kids. One worked out great and he's a great dad, and enjoys it. The other worked out kind of shit and he's miserable.
You two need to talk out what this means for both of you.
Sometimes people don't want kids but are glad to have them anyway, some aren't.
Some people have kids and regret it. Some people don't have kids and regret it.
We wouldn't be human if we didn't fuck up most of the time.
Talk it out with your girlfriend, maybe you'll change your mind, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll regret your choice later in life, maybe you won't.
I'm probably not going to have kids, but if it happens, that's life, you make it work.
Everyone has feelings. Most people recognise that doesn’t excuse poor behaviour and treating others badly.
Your boyfriend feels entitled to punish others for his hurt feelings and can’t control his emotional reactions. This is not a safe environment for you.
Watch out for precursors to physical violence- shouldering you out of the way, grabbing you roughly to “move you out of the way” but gripping you painfully even to leave finger bruises, pushing you down on the bed, using his size to block doorways or intimidate you. You may have seen some of these already but if he’s now comfortable enough to blow up this much over a veggie sandwich, this spiral is only escalating.
Google emotional support skills as that sounds like what you want from her that she’s not doing, though you are doing it for her. And here’s the thing, emotional support is the bread and butter of a healthy relationship as it helps increase empathy, bonding, and trust. So the fact that you’re not getting it is a bit of a red flag especially since you’re doing it for her. And though you could ask her to learn the skill, and it is learnable, usually people who don’t do it already, don’t think it’s needed, and so it’s often a struggle to get them to even consider learning.
And even if she would be willing to learn, it often takes months if not years and often therapy to learn the skill, and sometimes even then some people just don’t get it. And even if she does get it and learn, you’ll be still giving her way more emotional support in the mean time than you get in return. It’s just not worth it my guy. Let this one go and find one that has emotional support skills already, you’ll be so much happier if you do.
Google emotional support skills as that sounds like what you want from her that she’s not doing, though you are doing it for her. And here’s the thing, emotional support is the bread and butter of a healthy relationship as it helps increase empathy, bonding, and trust. So the fact that you’re not getting it is a bit of a red flag especially since you’re doing it for her. And though you could ask her to learn the skill, and it is learnable, usually people who don’t do it already, don’t think it’s needed, and so it’s often a struggle to get them to even consider learning.
And even if she would be willing to learn, it often takes months if not years and often therapy to learn the skill, and sometimes even then some people just don’t get it. And even if she does get it and learn, you’ll be still giving her way more emotional support in the mean time than you get in return. It’s just not worth it my guy. Let this one go and find one that has emotional support skills already, you’ll be so much happier if you do.
Yep. Never stay with someone who doesn't disclose and/or makes any sort of excuses. That's assuming she's even telling the truth about her therapist. Awfully convenient for her.
I’m going to take her out to sushi or something this weekend and I’m going to discuss with her everything on my mind.
I’m tired of this pseudo-relationship we have now. Countless times you have shown me that you want me and I want you as well. But I will not be moving forward if these are the current terms. If we are to go to Disney world, we do it as a couple. If you want to do something, we do it as a couple. It’s clear you want your options and I refuse to be one. I am not going to be an option when I never treated you as one, even now. So I am giving you the choice now to either choose me, or I walk out the door. I am not going to play along for the potential of the possibility of a relationship. We can either grow together, or not at all.
It might be an idea to go to therapy yourself to learn to recognise those behaviours so you can avoid them, and work on building yourself up. Take some time to learn to love yourself. Good luck!
Continuing to perpetuate the status quo because it's the reality of the sex industry (basically 'it is what it is') is a surefire way to endure that nothing changes.
I respect your views and I'm not saying my experience is universal, but as a man I found that even moderate porn consumption (2-3 times a week) altered the way I viewed women and the sexual experience itself. It was subtle, but I began to sexualise and objectify women who I met outside of sexual encounters. It really disturbed me so I packed in the porn and my sex life and overall relationship with sex and sexuality is immeasurably better.
It's a double standard with parents. Dad's don't want their daughter's boyfriends staying the night despite being okay with their son's girlfriend doing the same. Even if you aren't doing anything, in his mind you are. You could make it an issue (though I am not sure what would actually happen) or you can just stay at your boyfriend's place going forward.
To be fair as someone who has been a victim, and whose attacker is currently in prison, if I ever had this happen and I found out my partner/ husband was 1000% definitely a rapist… I would be gone. Fast. Even an accusation would be hard for me to get past, let alone a confession.
I couldn’t be with someone who had been involved in something so cruel and caused that level of suffering to another. I will never be over my assault. These things do not go away, they ruin lives. It’s just absolutely unforgivable.
Does he think he pays all the bills – because he does? Sounds like you both need to sit down and have a clear conversation. If he’s paying, say, 80% of the bills, discuss him what what your “30% equivalent” of non-monetary contributions is to make it feel even. Cooking? Cleaning? Once you settle on a fair distribution, any leftover money you both make is yours to spend individually. He’ll no longer have a right to comment and vice versa.
The treatment for heartworm is so much harder on the dog, and they do not always make it. I’ve seen a dog heart filled with worms. It’s not anything you forget.
I'd start considering whether or not you'd feel comfortable in a relationship with someone who isn't able to provide you with that intellectual situation. It may be okay now but as someone who also enjoys deeper discussions, it may start grating on your nerves as time goes on.
I don't ever really understand these. If you were dating for 10 years it might be one thing but you are not. Adding her to the deed would require you to refinance anyways which would be insane right now.
I understand her concern about what would happen if you broke up but you could establish a simple lease giving her some protections if that makes her feel better. It could be as simple as $100.00 a month and termination of lease would require 2-3 months notice or something like that.
I'm so sorry dude. I don't have much to say that others haven't already told you except to keep pushing through. It won't be tomorrow or next month but there will be a time where it hurts less. Look forward to that time. Do what you can to make that time come sooner rather than later. It exists, and if you keep going you'll get there. Good luck and take care of yourself.
You can have a big but inexpensive wedding, you just have to compromise on how fancy the party will be. I know lots of people who essentially had back yard bbqs as receptions and didn’t spend more than a few grand but had all of their friends and family there.
Their agreement isn’t actually about alcohol. It’s about staying in for some weekends instead of having their normal blowout Saturday night marathons of drinking and partying. Because it’s expensive.
And he knows that. He’s just using that as an excuse. To control her. But he already revealed his real reason, it’s right there in the “it’s weird” and “doesn’t know any men who would like their girlfriend drinking alone in the pub…”. So the ship has sailed on selling that bullshit about their “agreement”. No.
The hardest truth to realize is that no matter how much we love someone, we can't force them to change if they don't want to.
Your husband is choosing to be like this. He's choosing to treat you poorly.
Now it's time to choose yourself.
8 months is long enough for him to try to get his act together. What are you waiting for? You don't need his permission to be done with his nonsense.
You deserve a soft life full of love and a partner who contributes meaningfully to that. You are worthy of soft love. You are worthy of compassion and kindness. You deserve a partner who lifts you up, who is your biggest cheerleader.
I'm not reading all of that because it's exhausting.
Girl, get real and leave. You're just getting shitted on again and again…and again…..and again….and again.
Your husband and Laura will be laughing at your weakness and inability to stand up for yourself. This might sound rude, but you look like a fool constantly trying to work things out and sticking around.
You've got 2 options:
Grow a spine, learn to respect yourself, and leave him.
Continue the cycle of never-ending fuckery, and get shit on time and time again like an idiot.
Lol proceeds to describe abusive relationship
Go and stay with your friends, close family. ANYONE. You aren’t safe with him You don’t have to tell anyone, nor are you entitled to now. But your family deserve to know eventually so you can protect yourself from him. He’s a monster
Yes. Why not? How would he prove she specifically took his passport? She should just go throw it in a lake somewhere and pretend she has no idea where it is. If he pushes her on it, she can turn it back on him. Say it's his passport. Why he blaming her for him displaying his own important belongings. It could delay things for an extra few weeks while she prepares and safeguards herself.
Y'all made an agreement, she broke it. Case closed. Tell her to kick rocks
Your points are valid and not wrong. If that's the case then tell her it's OK to ask for help. I know you can't be there physically when she is feeling low. So let her know that it's OK if she is not good enough. Tell her asking for help is amazing. I have found that people on the spectrum tend to not ask for help when they might want to. The point I am getting at here is she will make the smallest thing seem huge in comparison. What is best now, reach out to her in the morning and ask how she feels, then go from there
My sister died from something similar. I learned a lot about the old treatments, the coming treatments, the less tested treatments and methods and the untested.
Honestly, I don't believe chemo actually works. But it sure as shit almost kills you.
Normally I would never write this to a cancer patient, but if you've been given a death sentence, it's probably the best thing you can hear. I'm no know-it-all hippie or anti science. I'm purely anti chemo. I believe it doesn't actually work.
I've experienced two other people with similar situations that are still alive, and I urge you to focus on the most modern treatments possible. Because it's so close now. An actual cure for cancer might be in the tests now.
I'm sorry if this sounds self serving or harsh or irresponsible. I hope you don't feel it that way. But the times when you still have energy, bodyweight and time is so so important.
At the very least you should consider a complete diet change. Cancer cells eat sugar. Starve them. My sister started too late maybe. Idk. You need to keep on as much weight as you can.
Bless you.
In my experience, it's one of those in-between expressions of affection (just like “I really appreciate you”, etc.), especially if you're a couple months into dating. In my past and current relationships, this sort of thing is tossed around right before the big “I love you”
You guys are at the point in your relationship where you're really getting to understand each other, and your feelings have begun to solidify. Both of you probably have “I love you” dancing at the tip of your tongue every time you're together haha
However, since you're still relatively new to your relationship, it's scary AF to take the next step, especially if you're the first person to say “I love you”. Naturally, the middle ground between “I love you” and something less personal is to say something like “you mean the world to me”
In all honesty, if you feel like you truly do love him, go ahead and tell him first!! It sounds like you're both to that point but are just too nervous to take that next step
Lord.. I've never said he expects me to go at his place. I'm not treated like an object, we're in a committed relationship and I'm fully aware of the age gap. My post wasn't about it tho, read it again. My issue is about my mom and her views about sex
Uhhh take a hint ig and run!
I’m female dear and have been cheated on. I still believe in boundaries.
I don't understand your logic? by staying with him you're literally enabling his behaviour
Stop man, he should not try anything if he isn't comfortable and he can tell her the same. Done deal, you don't have to explore kinks to know you're not into it.
My dad isn’t anyone. Don’t project ur shitty relationship with ur dad onto mine. He’s my everything & my support system. If i feel risk of being abused, even if it is by my husbands father, i will tell him. Bye now.
She must be really good at manipulating you.
Either that or this is her posting.
This is really childish, I'm glad you did it though because she dodged a bullet.
Her leaving really early is likely due to the fact that she has a life, and it was just a hook-up. You texting her so soon after probably made her feel like you just used her for sex, and that shit is embarrassing, regardless of who you are.
Soooo now that we cleared that up, the future interactions you had make a ton of sense. She doesn't have much to say to the guy who used her for sex and callously texted her after that she wasn't your true desire. This is to be expected.
You clearly have such an inflated sense of self importance that you totally disregarded the very obvious implications of your actions, and expected HER to act like a fool and further embarrass herself trying to “fight for you” – despite the fact that you blatantly discarded her.
The fact that you are coming to Reddit and weren't able to conclude this on your own tells me you lack self awareness – work on that. Maybe you won't feel the need to resort to petty games if you had a little confidence in the quality of your character.
The fact that YOU are offended that she is acting the exact way anyone would expect her to is just… I laugh. I really do. You people create this absurd situations at other people's emotional expense and get so butthurt
Lesson learned? I hope so. You should really work on your self-worth… because resorting to hurting someone and trying to manipulate them into fighting for you is just so much work, and you would have been better served by being honest and accepting her answer – whether she likes you or not. You so desperately needed to have the upper hand here if she “rejected you” that you played yourself.
In the future, be straightforward. People don't like games.
Bingo!
Plain and simple……
Not sure why all the downvotes this comment is spot on
Fair enough, every man I’ve been with**
The GOP's motto should be “Hate, schadenfreude and Obstruction”.
We broke up twice. Once four months ago. That was him. And i broke up with him about a month ago. Both times he came back and apologised for his actions
Browse the betrayed spouse, infidelity, and surviving infidelty subs. You'll change your mind real quick. Being cheated on causes ptsd caused by betrayal trauma. It's lifelong sadness and depression. It permanently damages self confidence. If you care for lily at all, stay no contact.
If you do decide to get in touch with them, leave your wife first. You have proven that you are too weak to be faithful.
Your feelings are normal and valid. But if I were you, I wouldn’t do what your post title says and try to forget about it. Talk to your brother and tell him he hurt you. Hell, I’d take a picture of the bruises and send them. I would want him to at least acknowledge what he did. I have a brother myself and I know sometimes things can get a little heated during arguments but being honest and direct about what you feel is the best way. Otherwise you’re going to sit around like you are now and doubt yourself and feel bad.
It’s not just about getting pregnant it’s about your health too. You can catch STDs. I recommend get tested
You sound like an insecure predator tbh. You already kind of fucked her over with the kids, but I hope she's able to have a little bit of a life now that she's gone. Best thing you could have possibly done for her was not let her come back- you thought you were hurting her but you were doing her a favor. Sounds like she was trauma bonded with you for a bit, and had no idea what do to without you since since you're all she's known since she left her parents house. So, congratulations on pouncing on a “barely legal” and stealing 7 years of her life from her, then kicking her to the curb when she checks notes did nothing even somewhat suspicious. Oh, she was privately messaging someone from a group chat? Okay? Yeah, sounds like a giant red flag dude. One can only hope you at least have the deceny to make efforts towards the kids, but you sound like the type to forget about the entire family so you can go prowl for another barely legal and convince her to waste her late teens and early 20s with you until she begins to get too old for you and you kick her to the side as well.
It hopefully isn't her intent, but she is creating a paper trail that could be used as evidence of a history of abuse. If at some point in the future she wanted to blackmail you or otherwise hurt you, she has evidence to bring a case against you (it would be weak in court, but enough to trigger an investigation). If you stay with her, you have to get her to stop. If she doesn't stop, run
He's fucking her. Usually people who have affairs become more lovey dovey with their partners.
Aww sending you a hug from afar
“Boys will be boys” my ass. You're a coworker, not a sex object.
Address this directly with your colleague. It's inappropriate and unprofessional, and it needs to stop. Tell him that you wanted to bring this up privately first, because you know he's just joking around ? but if it doesn't stop you will be forced to report it to his supervisor.
And if he doesn't respect that or tries to downplay his behavior, wait for a week to see if it stops and then report his ass.
I know a couple of guys that had kids because their wives wanted kids. One worked out great and he's a great dad, and enjoys it. The other worked out kind of shit and he's miserable.
You two need to talk out what this means for both of you.
Sometimes people don't want kids but are glad to have them anyway, some aren't.
Some people have kids and regret it. Some people don't have kids and regret it.
We wouldn't be human if we didn't fuck up most of the time.
Talk it out with your girlfriend, maybe you'll change your mind, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll regret your choice later in life, maybe you won't.
I'm probably not going to have kids, but if it happens, that's life, you make it work.
Everyone has feelings. Most people recognise that doesn’t excuse poor behaviour and treating others badly.
Your boyfriend feels entitled to punish others for his hurt feelings and can’t control his emotional reactions. This is not a safe environment for you.
Watch out for precursors to physical violence- shouldering you out of the way, grabbing you roughly to “move you out of the way” but gripping you painfully even to leave finger bruises, pushing you down on the bed, using his size to block doorways or intimidate you. You may have seen some of these already but if he’s now comfortable enough to blow up this much over a veggie sandwich, this spiral is only escalating.
Prepare for exit.
Google emotional support skills as that sounds like what you want from her that she’s not doing, though you are doing it for her. And here’s the thing, emotional support is the bread and butter of a healthy relationship as it helps increase empathy, bonding, and trust. So the fact that you’re not getting it is a bit of a red flag especially since you’re doing it for her. And though you could ask her to learn the skill, and it is learnable, usually people who don’t do it already, don’t think it’s needed, and so it’s often a struggle to get them to even consider learning.
And even if she would be willing to learn, it often takes months if not years and often therapy to learn the skill, and sometimes even then some people just don’t get it. And even if she does get it and learn, you’ll be still giving her way more emotional support in the mean time than you get in return. It’s just not worth it my guy. Let this one go and find one that has emotional support skills already, you’ll be so much happier if you do.
Google emotional support skills as that sounds like what you want from her that she’s not doing, though you are doing it for her. And here’s the thing, emotional support is the bread and butter of a healthy relationship as it helps increase empathy, bonding, and trust. So the fact that you’re not getting it is a bit of a red flag especially since you’re doing it for her. And though you could ask her to learn the skill, and it is learnable, usually people who don’t do it already, don’t think it’s needed, and so it’s often a struggle to get them to even consider learning.
And even if she would be willing to learn, it often takes months if not years and often therapy to learn the skill, and sometimes even then some people just don’t get it. And even if she does get it and learn, you’ll be still giving her way more emotional support in the mean time than you get in return. It’s just not worth it my guy. Let this one go and find one that has emotional support skills already, you’ll be so much happier if you do.
Yep. Never stay with someone who doesn't disclose and/or makes any sort of excuses. That's assuming she's even telling the truth about her therapist. Awfully convenient for her.
Wrong question. Why hasn't she blocked him?
You cannot help him with this.
I don't mean to be harsh but this is the truth. He has to work through this on his own, with the help of a professional.
And unfortunately, if he doesn't, this will only get worse.
If he takes it as “oh, I'm not good enough for you”, that is also his issue to sort through.
If his self-esteem is so far removed from reality, he needs to work with a therapist or he will never have a healthy relationship. Never.
You have to let him know that this is unsustainable.
I think what I’m going to do is this.
I’m going to take her out to sushi or something this weekend and I’m going to discuss with her everything on my mind.
I’m tired of this pseudo-relationship we have now. Countless times you have shown me that you want me and I want you as well. But I will not be moving forward if these are the current terms. If we are to go to Disney world, we do it as a couple. If you want to do something, we do it as a couple. It’s clear you want your options and I refuse to be one. I am not going to be an option when I never treated you as one, even now. So I am giving you the choice now to either choose me, or I walk out the door. I am not going to play along for the potential of the possibility of a relationship. We can either grow together, or not at all.
Is that too harsh? Did I miss something?
It might be an idea to go to therapy yourself to learn to recognise those behaviours so you can avoid them, and work on building yourself up. Take some time to learn to love yourself. Good luck!
Continuing to perpetuate the status quo because it's the reality of the sex industry (basically 'it is what it is') is a surefire way to endure that nothing changes.
I respect your views and I'm not saying my experience is universal, but as a man I found that even moderate porn consumption (2-3 times a week) altered the way I viewed women and the sexual experience itself. It was subtle, but I began to sexualise and objectify women who I met outside of sexual encounters. It really disturbed me so I packed in the porn and my sex life and overall relationship with sex and sexuality is immeasurably better.
Man 600 views and no replies ?
It's a double standard with parents. Dad's don't want their daughter's boyfriends staying the night despite being okay with their son's girlfriend doing the same. Even if you aren't doing anything, in his mind you are. You could make it an issue (though I am not sure what would actually happen) or you can just stay at your boyfriend's place going forward.
To be fair as someone who has been a victim, and whose attacker is currently in prison, if I ever had this happen and I found out my partner/ husband was 1000% definitely a rapist… I would be gone. Fast. Even an accusation would be hard for me to get past, let alone a confession.
I couldn’t be with someone who had been involved in something so cruel and caused that level of suffering to another. I will never be over my assault. These things do not go away, they ruin lives. It’s just absolutely unforgivable.
If you edit and add paragraphs, you may get more responses. It’s pretty hard to read in a block of text. ?
Make a fake account
Does he think he pays all the bills – because he does? Sounds like you both need to sit down and have a clear conversation. If he’s paying, say, 80% of the bills, discuss him what what your “30% equivalent” of non-monetary contributions is to make it feel even. Cooking? Cleaning? Once you settle on a fair distribution, any leftover money you both make is yours to spend individually. He’ll no longer have a right to comment and vice versa.
The treatment for heartworm is so much harder on the dog, and they do not always make it. I’ve seen a dog heart filled with worms. It’s not anything you forget.
What she did was called a shit test. Don’t stay with someone that plays these games.
Yeah but we should probably just burn the suitcase instead
Get over yourself. You're being ridiculously jealous and hypocritical.
I'd start considering whether or not you'd feel comfortable in a relationship with someone who isn't able to provide you with that intellectual situation. It may be okay now but as someone who also enjoys deeper discussions, it may start grating on your nerves as time goes on.
That’s a rapist
I don't ever really understand these. If you were dating for 10 years it might be one thing but you are not. Adding her to the deed would require you to refinance anyways which would be insane right now.
I understand her concern about what would happen if you broke up but you could establish a simple lease giving her some protections if that makes her feel better. It could be as simple as $100.00 a month and termination of lease would require 2-3 months notice or something like that.
That's why you try things out. I'd think by this time you'd be more enthusiastic. I've never had this happen so I don't know.
It’s one thing if you brought it up but it’s a red flag that she did. Definitely seek legal advice
I am not. Perhaps I should talk to my doctor about this.
I'm so sorry dude. I don't have much to say that others haven't already told you except to keep pushing through. It won't be tomorrow or next month but there will be a time where it hurts less. Look forward to that time. Do what you can to make that time come sooner rather than later. It exists, and if you keep going you'll get there. Good luck and take care of yourself.
You can have a big but inexpensive wedding, you just have to compromise on how fancy the party will be. I know lots of people who essentially had back yard bbqs as receptions and didn’t spend more than a few grand but had all of their friends and family there.
That said, what is he considering big?
Their agreement isn’t actually about alcohol. It’s about staying in for some weekends instead of having their normal blowout Saturday night marathons of drinking and partying. Because it’s expensive.
And he knows that. He’s just using that as an excuse. To control her. But he already revealed his real reason, it’s right there in the “it’s weird” and “doesn’t know any men who would like their girlfriend drinking alone in the pub…”. So the ship has sailed on selling that bullshit about their “agreement”. No.
I'd recommend communication.
Could she be cheating? Sure. Could she be planning to take surprise sexy pictures to get you through the time she is away? Also sure.
How to know? Talk. To. Her. If she's cheating, she'll lie and I'm sure after a decade together you could tell.
The hardest truth to realize is that no matter how much we love someone, we can't force them to change if they don't want to.
Your husband is choosing to be like this. He's choosing to treat you poorly.
Now it's time to choose yourself.
8 months is long enough for him to try to get his act together. What are you waiting for? You don't need his permission to be done with his nonsense.
You deserve a soft life full of love and a partner who contributes meaningfully to that. You are worthy of soft love. You are worthy of compassion and kindness. You deserve a partner who lifts you up, who is your biggest cheerleader.
You are worthy.
I'm not reading all of that because it's exhausting.
Girl, get real and leave. You're just getting shitted on again and again…and again…..and again….and again.
Your husband and Laura will be laughing at your weakness and inability to stand up for yourself. This might sound rude, but you look like a fool constantly trying to work things out and sticking around.
You've got 2 options:
Grow a spine, learn to respect yourself, and leave him.
Continue the cycle of never-ending fuckery, and get shit on time and time again like an idiot.
Spending more time with her wife's friends than with her, that's how
Would you want to spend time with this woman!?!?!