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skynny-cute Public Chat Channel
Date: November 6, 2022
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WeekendPussy
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Don't take advice here. Nobody here gives a dam about you or even knows you.
Thank you. I am very grateful that you shared the Naz and Matt Foundation with me. I think this will be a good resource to share with David so that he can understand where I am coming from.
I think “I don't want to be sidelined when it matters most” is a great way to frame this conversation. I am struggling with being sad and angry, and have been having trouble coming up with a way to frame this eventual convo. This helps tremendously.
This guy has no interest in you and you should listen to anything he says. The right guy will take care of you properly.
I promise you he’s not as nice as he’s acting right now. What does a grown ass man want with a teenager?
No need to be embarrassed. You just need to be honest with yourself. You look like a nice young lady with a whole future ahead of you. Don’t waste it.
Right!?
You need to start realizing that people are what they do, not what they say they will do. Then you need to decide if being with him without marriage or kids is worth it, or if you need more than that.
You must ascertain his intentions. If you plan is to marry and have children, he should be able to discuss that.
If he admitted he didn't tell her, then while it technically being none of your business I don't think anyone would look at you sideways for letting somebody who's being cheated on without any guilt to know what kind of person is she dating. It's ultimately up to you, but if you're looking for the more moral option, then I'd tell her.
And yet it worked for 17 years
Thank you I feel so terrible right now but I’ll don’t even know what really happened to me that night.
OP said they were crying and wanted it to stop. It was rape. And you’re a disgusting person for saying otherwise and blaming her.
Just apologise. Say it was a lapse in judgement and now that you now it upsets her you won’t do it again. Say, please throw away the whole relationship on a silly mistake. You know what we have is worth more than that. I love you. Blah blah blah. Etc.
See how that goes.
Yeah, this guy is off. Just.. stop speaking to him. He’s already showing controlling behavior after 1 date. Imagine how much worse it would get if you get to know him. Run girl.
Does he handle his personal hygiene okay?
There's zero way any self respecting human being is going to watch their partner get married and see that as a chance to continue a relationship
what a jackass lol
Dude, you fucked up. Cheating is cheating no matter if it’s with an ex. You are both as bad as each other. Go your separate ways, get a DNA test and step up and be a dad if the child is yours
Sounds like that’s what I have to do
The man you married was a pretend character that was being played just for you to get caught in a pretend relationship.
Get the tubal. Not to get dark on you, but your husbands vasectomy doesn’t protect you from pregnancy if you’re assaulted or if you go separate ways in the future. If you don’t want to be pregnant you should take control. And it’s a pretty easy recover. I had mine on a Friday and was back at work on Monday.
Why are you getting down voted lol OP's husband is probably crawling with STDs
He is trying to blackmail you – but, I am afraid, he is not really attracted to you.
“He wouldn't enjoy it…”? Oh please, don't fall for this crap!
8 years and married 7 so he should have told
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We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles use the following formatting:
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Thank you beautiful person all the best and more to you as well !! ❤️❤️??
Interesting so it’s because she had the surgery then?
She claims she would have told me without me asking, but I cannot be sure if this is true. In fact I lied about her not meeting him again, they both went for a run a month or so after, and I was told about it. It was a while back though so I cannot remember if I had to ask or if she told me freely. Either way I still feel kinda uncomfortable with her meeting him without telling me, especially given he has made comments about wanting to sleep with her, that she is hot, inviting her to go to his house etc. I hope you can understand where I am coming from
Same thing dude.
You implied that all men who have female best friends just want to sleep with them. Which is disgusting and degrading.
Which is also why I told you the friend zone doesn't exist. It is a figment of the imagination of men (and women) who expect that by hanging out with their best friend long enough, that person will eventually want to either sleep with, or date them.
Entitlement at its finest. If you want a relationship, say so, don't just hang around waiting for something to happen and then get pissy when your friend starts dating someone else.
Or worse, don't keep hanging around after they tell you they don't want to date you, hoping they will change their mind. Gross.
Two words
Couple counseling
It's worth trying for the kids i think
Dear god please stop
Anyone who gets down on you for crying is not worth having in your life, as far as I am concerned.
The therapist is fucking nuts. Report them to whatever board might govern them. That they are encouraging their patient to lie to their partner is purely disgusting. They should lose their license for that. Encouraging lying is never okay
I like that in your 2nd point you say the GF can lie to people's faces, but at the same time believe that she was telling the truth about the therapist, and not that she was lying about that part.
How do you know?
Maybe ask your doctor for a referral?
Yo dude, it sounds like you're in a bit of a sticky situaysh. It's totally understandable that her calling habit is getting on your nerves and it's valid to bring that up to her. But it sounds like you didn't quite handle it in the most tactful way.
Here's a pro-tip, try using “I” statements instead of blaming her. Instead of saying “You're calling me too much,” try saying “I feel frustrated when I have to answer multiple calls in a short period of time.” This way, you're expressing your feelings rather than attacking her behavior.
Another thing, it sounds like she felt attacked and got defensive which led to her crying and walking out. It's important to remember that you're a team and it's not just about you getting your way. Try to empathize with her and see where she's coming from. Maybe she's just trying to be considerate and let you know she's coming over.
It's not too late to make it right, try reaching out to her and apologize for the way you brought up the issue and try to come up with a solution together. Communication is key, bro.
That's not what I said what so ever. I said in my mind that if my wife cheated on me with a woman, I could forgive her in my mind. I never said it wasn't cheating. I would consider a man sleeping with another man while married cheating. I just see it differently, and that's probably because I see lesbians differently than gay men, and yes, I know I shouldn't, but growing up, I was raised, and it was wrong and only in the last few years have I come to terms with it doesn't matter to me as they are their own people they can do what they want. As a man, I was not taught lesbians are wrong, which is probably why I see them differently.
Thank you for the advice!
One thing I’ve been contemplating is whether we should discuss the future (and if so, whether it’s something worth doing now 6 months in). By this, I mean what we eventually want out of life relationship-wise etc. and when we want this to happen.
I’m very much aware that when you’re in your twenties, there can be a significant difference in how you view life at 28 vs 24/25, so I think it’s important to discuss whether she actually wants something long-term right now. However, I also don’t want to scare her off etc. by discussing the future this in depth.
Any advice would be appreciated!
So, reddit isn't showing me your new comment, so I can only comment on what I saw from my notification.
I'm not trying to make excuses for anybody, or make you feel any type of way. Words have power. Like how you keep downvoting my comments, but notice I'm not doing that to you. I'm just trying to have a conversation.
And I know you didn't say “all women.” I was just pointing out how you are getting downvoted like when a man jumps in to say “not all men.” That's all.
Well, I hope you have a good day.
If someone were to say, steal a bunch of money, and then have to move it around and break up the paper / digital trail, they could effectively become a human TOR browser, recruiting other humans to physically route their traffic, so their hands are totally clean.
He could be on a list for even touching that money. If its a scam its probably highly volatile money, they need to play hot potato with it, thats why they aren't too worried about him stealing it, because if it doesn't go to someone it comes back to them.
Or, she could be a beautiful rich expat that wants to treat your boyfriend like royalty after messaging him for a week. Probably the latter.
Are you cashing in on the Leo dating a 19yo model controversy?
You broke your deal and her trust, why would you do that if you knew she was against it? You wouldn't be in this situation if you had just jacked off without porn, is that not possible for you? Or if you have pictures/videos of her? Long story short you broke her trust, good luck getting it back when she's in such a fragile and likely insecure spot after giving birth to twins.
How can watching porn be that important to you ?
He wants all the cake. To begin, you went from the frying pan to the fire. Any relationship advice guru will tell you that jumping from a marriage to a new relationship is fraught with peril. You did not give yourself time to heal and grieve before taking up with your bestie. Build a wall and keep him on the other side of it for your own good. And no, you can’t go back to being buddies. That ship has sailed. It sounds to me like he went someplace he’d been wanting to go for a while, got what he came for (literally), then pulled out before things got too sticky.
I don’t know. If it feels right, go for it. Just know that if ever stops feeling right, trust your gut. It’s okay to be head over heels for each other. I don’t want to say be careful, keep yourself guarded because it would contradict my first statement but be careful and keep yourself guarded.
Delete serial lying cheater from your life. Prosper.
Why is she texting her ex throughout every day?
Except the times where they go as close as murdering me but that's ok because i love them and the rest if the times everything is amazing!!!
You cannot help someone who refuses to be helped, or refuses to even acknowledge they need help.
Being a sub has nothing to do with not wanting to give pleasure.
I wanted to help by being on the mortgage and split everything evenly I even offered to help pay down payment and closing costs because we’ve been talking investments and the future pretty much since the beginning but his apprehension to put me on this makes me think he really doesn’t see a future with me.
Why are you lost? He cheated. You deserve better. He'll do it again.
What kind of stupid fucking response is this???
Holy shit some of you are truly truly broken.
Majority seem to be like that too, hence the downvotes
• Opinions on how I handled it. What would you have done in my shoes? • Half my friends insist I will eventually speak with her, and potentially consider getting back with her. The other half of my friends insist on the opposite. That I should ride out the restraining order of no contact and let it naturally separate. What would you do in my shoes, and why? • In a relationship that is 99% of the time the absolute best relationship I could ever have, where 1% (a few hours on two occasions over 2.5 years) it is literally dangerous… does anyone have any experience with sticking with someone and them changing themselves? • What did this situation look like? • Did it just occur less and less? • Did they fall in and out of it over years with highs and lows never really getting better? • Did they say they’d fix it, get counseling, improve, and then have a bigger blow outs?
I think you should have left her the first time she hit you. You almost went to jail, man. That’s not something to chuckle off.
Do not accept this person back into your life, not as a friend, not as a girlfriend.
Abusive relationships always escalate. If you stay with someone who is willing to hurt you, they will get comfortable with the idea that they can hurt you without consequence. They do not improve. It is a fundamental flaw.
“But my thing is when I set the boundary, why didn’t he speak up. “
“my bf said my boundary was “weak” and that I didn’t give him enough time between valentine’s day and when I saw him next. “
“Any advice on how to handle this situation.”
Maybe next time someone is trying to destroy your bf's relationship, decide that person is toxic and don't force your bf to hang out with someone who wants to destroy your bf's relationship right after the fact.
I mean, relationships work when there is communication, but if you're only going to hear your boyfriend instead of listening to him, I don't think there is advice offered that will be considered. After all, he told you all of this(many would agree with his conclusion) and yet you're confused at what to do.
A stronger boundary would be to cut off toxic people from your life instead of forcing your boyfriend to hang out with someone who is actively trying to fuck his girlfriend.
Break up with her
The thing is, she isn't that religious. It was her mother who influenced all this when she was growing up. Even if she can change, be more open sexually, I worry that that won't mend everything and there will still be an emotional connection missing.
You are right though, not everything I listed was due to her. The main source of emotional pain comes from her and everything added together just became too much to handle I think.
The older son is OP's from a previous relationship. He wouldn't be required to go and spend time with the wife if there was a divorce since she has no parental rights.
Having grown up very Catholic, I understand the sentiment of this lady: in a small town setting, people would have been treating the children as pariah.
Taking antioxidants for men usually helps with sperm quality, so maybe this can be one of the ways to see if anything can be done.
Man this is a bad sign it sounds like she’s mentally checked out of your relationship. If you do sleep with another woman that will be the final nail in the coffin. The fact she brought up divorce is why I think she’s already checked out. I would try couples therapy and try going out to do things together that she likes just to give her some “me” time.
Wait…no no. I don't think I expressed myself well there. I'm 100% not someone who could / would control someone like that. She will see the posts as she's on reddit and posts alot. I think the picture you might have is of someone who is meekly under my spell. She is not. She's confident, beautiful and attracts (and enjoys) alot of attention. My issue is probably more around “wtf am I thinking” and “is this normal” than “hey guys, should I pressure this girl into something”. That is 100% not me but my reply to your last post was too flippant so I get why you'd think that.
A Tate follower your never going to get through to a man with views like that. I wonder also if he is possibly projecting the cheating angle on to you. You need to think carefully about this relationship and what you are doing.
Bruh I’m not even blaming him and I do not even care about stereotypical social norms for genders like you do I guess.
And obviously, people only cheat for cheating. There is no other psychological or lingering problems beforehand at all.
If he’s talking crap about you to her it’s over. There’s no coming back from that level of disrespect. You can do better
Cheating is individual to each relationship. If you feel like he cheated, then he did. Just like if you did something he felt was cheating, then it would be cheating. You need to agree with each other and set up what each of you considers cheating.
I would consider this cheating in my relationship because he entertained a flirty conversion with another woman, set up a rendezvous to have sex, after exchanging or accepting a topless photo. It's good that he didn't do it, but I'd still feel cheated on.
even though she knew very well that I would never hurt her.
I mean…you pinned her to the ground for multiple minutes while she was crying and terrified. Sorry but “I would never hurt you” rings pretty hollow after that. You didn't humiliate her, you traumatized her. Whatever your intention, what you did comes across very much as a threat. “Remember when you think you're strong that I can easily hurt you if I want” is not a loving or protective message.
Honestly there's nothing you can do except give her time and perhaps write out a genuine apology acknowledging how wrong your actions were. She has to decide whether or not she trusts you and feels safe with you going forward. I do understand not wanting her to walk home alone at night, but I can't for the life of me understand why you thought THIS was the way to convey your concern. You need to do some introspection to figure out why you thought this was appropriate so you can assure her nothing like this will ever happen again.
No girl NO!!!
I’m 42, 2 children over 20 years ago. I’m thin bit my tummy is STILL loose and poochy. No man has ever been bothered by it and I’ve been around the block a bit. Find someone else. And love your tummy. You earned that tummy.
You cut this person off once for drama, sounds like you wanted to give her a second chance and that was a mistake. If you don't want to formally “break up” with her, just don't try to include her in your plans anymore. If she pushes, then tell her you no longer want to maintain a friendship, as she is a liar and a manipulator
This person clearly isn’t getting it. They think she’s not allowed to have any personal time outside from her husband ? she has done absolutely nothing wrong and they sound like a jackass just like the husband.
I think you need to do both.
Be more selfless up to a point. Prioritize yourself, including your romantic relationship what it needs to succeed.
He isn’t wrong. You are in different Pages. You’re not for each other.