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Room for online sex video chat SkyMaja8
Model from: pl
Languages: en
Birth Date: 2002-09-14
Body Type: bodyTypeThin
Ethnicity: ethnicityWhite
Hair color: hairColorBlonde
Eyes color: eyeColorBlue
Subculture: subcultureStudent
Date: November 4, 2022
Good luck finding a nice attractive woman with a lower body count than that if you ditch her.
How would he feel about the guy who fucked his girlfriend, knowing she had a boyfriend?
Yea definitely don’t rush to end things, you don’t want to throw away something that could be great for you. Just be wary and if there’s any more signs of her trying to rush things or use you then step away and reconsider
The relationship as you knew it is over. Listen to her, don't make excuses. She told you after this trip that you are the second choice. Have some self respect and dodge the bullet.
She can afford her own lunch. Unless you're in a relationship, this is a bit weird, and most likely all she needs from you is to listen to her vent. Just text her “That must be hard :(” and don't waste 10 bucks. Would she buy you lunch if you tell her your day sucked? If yes, do it, if not, don't do it.
your friends are projecting their feelings that they can only be involved with a girl if she's slept with them – they're insecure OP, and you sound like you know what you want.
If you like her, I suggest buying her food versus giving her the money – a thoughtful touch. If you aren't romantically interested, you just sound like the kind of nice we need more of in this world. Good luck to ya 🙂
Once a cheater always a cheater. Dump him and find someone better.
You’re welcome. Honestly, the best you can do is when HE brings up the topic to you, don’t give advice. Don’t try to fix it. Listen to him and comfort him. We know there is nothing that can be fixed with it. He has to be ready to do counseling. If you’ve suggested it once and he said no. Respect that. When he’s ready, he will tell you. It took me a long time to figure out I needed help and it was affecting me and those around me. I just worry about him seeing your comments on here if he can search your username.
Good luck and good luck to him. I do hope he finds peace, along with you.
I’ve done some research into things that might be helpful. There is a place in Jamaica and Norway that does microdosing with psyllicibin (mushrooms), along with trauma counselors. I’ve thought about that, as it supposedly helps long term. Also there is EMDR, which takes longer and it doesn’t seem like it helps at first, but the more you do it, the more intense it brings your feelings out and if he goes that route, just hold him afterwards because it is so intense.
SGB shots in the neck, but it’s more short term. I’ve only tried EMDR so far and doing normal counseling.
I know from experience it can be difficult putting boundaries in place at his age with a girl in your friend group who is overly touchy. He’s probably worried about looking whipped to his buddies if he tells her to cut it out. She will definitely make a joke about it in front of his friends and they’ll come down hard on him.
The big red flag is your convo with her. Did you tell your BF that she basically threatened you? She was pretty explicit that she’s working an angle here. If you told him and he’s still acting this way, then might not be much you can do besides setting up boundaries that could result in ending the relationship if he crosses them. If you haven’t told him, I suggest you do.
Nervous is good, it means you care about the results. Your all good.
Wellllll. I can probably answer the stripper issue. A lot of the guys I served with (I'm a woman) would hook up with strippers. Why? Well because strip clubs, bars, dry cleaners, pawn shops, and used car lots are 90% of what military towns are comprised of. Joe likes to spend the pay check and drink, so they cater to that as the military base is thr towns life blood. So they're bound to end up dating strippers more often than not. And to be fair some times in these places the locals will target military specifically to date and marry. Why? Steady paycheck, healthcare, guaranteed housing, dental, vision, and the other benefits. So it happens a lot.
I guess your right, but what if they don’t let me see them outside of school? Sorry if this is like kinda an obvious question or something
Please save him from having his life destroyed by telling him
True, see that’s the problem I had when I tried counseling with my narcissistic ex, they are very manipulative and would frame the situation to look like different from how it was in reality and then would make me the bad guy and I’d have to apologize for everything which became a pattern. And I had no problem apologizing but I could never bring up anything that hurt me because he didn’t know how to apologize so he would just start arguments
If this is real confronting him could turn violent
If he's in the know enough to ask for that, he's more informed than you think.
You should respond by telling him to eff off. You officially have one child now, this one is beyond help.
Not only did he cheat on you, but he was trash before that. The sick person should get the bedroom, not the couch. He has always been selfish.
I know it hurts, but you were better off without him
He’s is NPD, he wants to get you back to minimise the impact of you reporting him.
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Yeah. I saw that. I cannot figure out why a woman in her mid 30’s making good money would tolerate this. Unless he is making a lot of Michelin starred food, giving her mult orgasms a night and their flat is spotless – she is getting taken advantage.
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Except she was having difficult conversations with him! She just cried during them. I don't understand why people always assume crying is a manipulation tactic when this woman clearly cries very easily. It's much more understandable to cry during an argument, especially after he humiliated her in front of her friends just for embellishing a funny story, than it is to cry over commercials or whatever. It just sounds like he only wants her to have emotions when they're not inconveniencing him.
Jerseys cost that much more than $250? Did you think of telling him you can’t afford the jersey and ask if he’d rather a gift card to put towards it or other items?
Just tell him that his answer is unacceptable. He broke the boundary and this is the end of your relationship and you’re asking for a divorce.
I mean, you're right about marriages losing it before anything else, im a prime example of that. Right now we're back to being friends who have lunch together at work and all.l, so ill take what i can get.
I may start dating a bit, see if what im feeling is just her or maybe being lonely. My kids love her, so if anything i dont wanna scare her away from them.
It sounds like the two of you have very conflicting communication styles. On top of that, it also seems like you’re at different emotional maturity levels. You sound like you tried pretty hard to get her to communicate her needs and wants with you but she wasn’t willing or able to do so effectively.
Personally, I’m a firm believer in the idea that you cannot be held accountable for not meeting expectations, or for crossing boundaries, that you were not informed about. It’s virtually impossible to maintain a healthy relationship with someone who can’t or wont clearly communicate their wishes with you.
As far as where to go from here: “She told me how her boyfriend now made her realize our relationship was a mistake and that it reminded me of her ex who assaulted her.”
I read that and immediately things fell into place. Often people who lack emotional maturity will resort to demonizing other people as a means to feel better about themselves. Clearly her current boyfriend is encouraging her to scapegoat you – which means it’s probably safe to ignore a good chunk of what she’s saying now. You obviously were doing your best to look out for her interests and if she isn’t willing to give you the benefit of the doubt now, a month later, because someone else is helping her rewrite her history that’s a her problem, not a you problem.
That said, if you have the slightest doubt about how you handled things in that relationship and want to be better equipped to interact with folks who have past trauma I would suggest looking into resources that talk about “enthusiastic consent”. It’s a way of approaching consent that sets the bar a little bit higher. Just to be clear – I don’t think you did anything wrong, but you come across as someone who cares and wants to avoid situations that might hurt those you care about. Enthusiastic consent could be another tool to help you do that and better navigate complex spaces.
She said she was tested at the beginning of their relationship. So maybe it's a possibility
All of this is racist as hell. It is not normal. Even wanting to visit Japan is racist in context here.
You deserve better than him, and you will find it.
Ask him to see if his friends think what he did was no big deal. Because it seems as if everyone at the party was feeling bad for you because they knew he was being inappropriate and thoughtless.
I might be missing something that someone else could contribute, but the only thing I can think is that maybe he wanted you to see because he's looking for a way out. With everything you described, this relationship seems like it might be a dead end.
If someone is actively cheating on you repeatedly, you don’t owe them much in the way of breakup conversation, and frankly, if you feel unsafe or like he’s going to pressure you in person, don’t meet up – you are allowed to breakup via text. You don’t even have to say you know he’s still cheating or that you snooped through his phone. You can just say you’re breaking up with him and go about your day.
But whichever way you break up, you need to set very clear boundaries, and say you do not want to remain in contact and he needs to respect your boundaries. If he shows up unannounced after you breakup, you don’t need to feel bad, you need to reaffirm you asked him not to contact you, say he’s not respecting the clear boundaries you conveyed, and tell him he needs to leave or you’re calling the police. And if he keeps doing it, follow through and file a report for harassment.
Mental illness is not a blanket excuse for someone to behave badly. You have to realize you are not solely responsible for balancing out the bad things happening in his life, and you are not obligated to stay in a toxic situation just because someone has depression. Honestly, it sounds more like this guy is emotionally manipulative, rather than unstable, and is causing a scene because he knows the appearance of instability will keep you around.
Divorce is easier than trying to communicate with a stubborn child.
If i were the husband, i would be tired of being worthless to a manipulative and terrible wife.
Again extrapolating events that have not been expressed. You can read that as an emotional affair but you can also read that as she wanted to resolve a conflict of interest at work. Having an adult and reasoned conversation with a professional acquaintance about personal emotions that might interfere with their personal lives and professional ones is not emotional cheating. If OP had said “they started chatting more and he became a fixture in her friend group he’d come over when I was away for dinners,” that’s clear evidence of boundaries being blurred and crossed. That’s an emotional affair.
Textbook emotional affair is not acknowledging a mutual feeling. It is a pattern of behavior that crosses the lines of emotion intimacy established by being in a relationship. If what you say is emotional cheating than we would have to assume that anyone who starts having a feelings would be committed an affair, particularly if the other person reciprocates.
Sounds like he's confused, like, he's obviously not straight, but that knowledge threatens his identity. But also, that's gross and creepy that he jacked off over you, like, go to the bathroom at least.
Those all sound a lot better than sending the eggplant emoji over IM.
Yes you've definitely been great help to them according to the reddit communities you follow.
She is lying dumper
You have built up resentment for things he did for 2 whole YEARS. You can’t expect 2 WEEKS to change that back to feeling like you’re in a fairytale. You’ve mentally checked out of the relationship and have essentially broken up already when you moved out. The only thing keeping you from telling him it’s over is that he would get hurt, not that you love him or even wish it would work, you just don’t want to be the dick who broke his heart. Well staying and leading him on would be worse. So pull the trigger.
No help from her around the house no emotional support from her not pulling her own weight no signs of love or affection
You don't need a roommate like that.
No I don't think it's justified as it would be things where there's no right answer, just opinion. He often just cuts the conversation short and says there's no point because it's ridiculous. He's even done it to my family members before and it's so embarrassing. He never bothers truly listening or finding out why I think that way, if its not in agreement with him he doesnt want to know.
I told him last year how i was feeling at the time and we did try this app called Paired which is basically online couples therapy in a way, it helped for a while and it was improving but soon went back to the old way.
Your friend group doesn't sound like they're good friends at the end of the day, they sound as if they like telling you what to do when that's not at all what you asked for. Have they always done this?
How long you two been together
sis don't let being a victim of circumstances stop you from leaving and doing better for yourself. it would be hard but you'd find a way .who cares if your family don't believe in divorce its not their relationship.
Idk about good but I try and give a fair/different perspective. And it’s true, we’re all “dumb” when we’re younger. Best lesson(s) you can learn early on; be yourself and don’t change for anyone else, learn to communicate clearly (especially in relationships), and try to see things from the “other guy’s” perspective. Even if you don’t agree, it can give you insight as to how to proceed/handle the person.
Hope it helps. And on a side note; always remember the internet is always super judgy and assumes the worst possible immediately.
It is what it is, OP. You can't really fault someone for having priorities different from your own. You don't have to date them and most definitely can't change them. But people are allowed to value whatever they like in life. In this case his family is just more important to him than his childhood romantic partner. So do with that what you will. He's made his decision.
Can’t wait for the update post where you go “I can’t believe it but the two people who talked about having sex with each other and who each wanted it actually did it!”
Exactly my point I keep bringing up with him! Thank you. I'm just need time to recover.
Oh yeah! She was abandoned by her biological mother and emotionally abused by her step mother. As far as being spoiled? I'm not sure. She doesn't remember much of her childhood, probably also due to trauma.
I have a friend who is a professor and sex therapist. She says like half the men who come to her practice start out by saying, “something is wrong with her,” or “I'm not getting what I need,” and even trying to gently reframe it to “her needs aren't in alignment with mine right now,” or “how can we both get what we want and need?” and how they react is a pretty good barometer of how successful It's going to be.
Learning not to blame but instead to problem solve is so important and successful and loving relationships.
lmao i bet you have a million cats and single :/
Those lines… Holy fuck. I've never thought of women in terms of purity and innocence and, yeah, guess it's best to keep my mouth shut.
I'm glad OP realizes he's being immature and so on, but damn, does he have a lot to unlearn…
I really doubt that she's had no friends (ever – I'm sure she's had friends in the past). Nevertheless, there are a lot of solitary hobbies that she can pursue as well (for example, crafting, sewing, a new TV show, exercise etc.). Positively reinforcing independent activities is proven to work with anxiously attached people.
As for you, you should work on your own emotional regulation.
You're definitely not being unreasonable. It's not like you entered the relationship knowing he's doing drugs – as you've said, this is a recent thing.
Unfortunately I've had old friends and aquaintances who started off with casual use, and within a year they were full on reliant on it.
If the worst case scenario happened and it became much more of an addiction, would you be able to still be with him?
You need to sit him down and have a serious talk about how you feel and that you just can't get past it, even with compromises. If he doesn't want to change, it's time to find someone you're compatible with.
Yes, OP needs to get in touch with her dad and her stepmother and let them know what happened. This is incredibly troubling, especially since the girlfriend doesn’t seem to feel bad about it at all and somehow feels it was warranted. I would absolutely expect her to do this again.
Oh so it’s a case of you do as I say not as I do So your BF can find someone else and sleep with them in the three months you were broken up and that’s ok, but when you did, according to him you gave it up so easily & he can’t get over it hmmmmmmmm
And you’re wanting to know how to potentially get over his hypocrisy & save your (and I use this terminology loosely) relationship – WHY?
Imagine if he said “I don't want to live in Memphis, it's too black”.
He's absolutely correct, it's a shitty racist comment and I honestly hope he moves to Idaho and doesn't take you.
He told you at the top of the relationship – no pets. Not sure why now you think he should compromise? He laid it out honestly and at the beginning? What more do you want?
It terms of ‘fairness’ m, it seems you are to one being unfair?
Look, I get it, some dudes can be kinda lazy, but if you're really into this guy, you gotta make it known what you need from him. Don't just sit around and wait for him to change, you gotta speak up, bruh.
He's obviously not listenin' to you right now, so you gotta make it clear that you ain't gonna take the lack of affection and love anymore. And, seriously, stop pouncing on him for sex, that's not how it works. You gotta make him want it, not just be available all the time. Show him what he's missing, ya know?
And, as for the “I love you” thing, don't hold your breath, man. Some dudes just ain't good with the emotions and stuff, and that's okay. But, if it's really important to you, you gotta let him know that too. Communication is key in any relationship, bro.
And, finally, don't you dare even think about leaving this guy. You love him for a reason, remember that. But, if things don't change, then you gotta make a decision. Don't waste your time on a dude who can't give you what you need.
Your post demonstrates why we should not treat a partner as our therapist. Everyone needs a sympathetic ear and a bit of objective advice and emotional support now and then. That's why the profession of therapy exists.
When we tell our troubles to someone not trained to deal with that information, it can sometimes overwhelm them. That's called secondary traumatization. The solution to this is to see a therapist. Right now you are shutting off your emotions – that's not good either.
If you can't afford therapy, see if you can arrange to see someone less often than weekly, maybe every 3rd or 4th week. I see someone approximately monthly. Also ask about sliding fee scales.
It's possible there is nothing wrong with your hygiene and he is just not used to being that close to a vagina. It can be an acquired taste, for sure. I would try showering first to eliminate any extra sweat/dirt/odor. Also might be worth considering a shave or groom. Pubic hair can 'trap' natural odors and make it more noticeable. Definitely a your-body-your-choice thing on that, though.
You already know why she isn’t wearing it while having fun with other male. You just don’t want to believe it.
Well link where he stated explicitly. Because I've looked through twice and I've seen the one stating he thinks he does his fair share. But not one that states “I cook dinner x times a week and do the dishes x times a week”.
Therapy all of y'all need to see a therapist
Have a private chat with her one on one and let her know the results you got. See if she confesses anything or she still evades. But do fix your living and financial situation in the mean time,
They are! It's like human broth. Gross
I’d breakup then and there
Your husband who bullied someone to suicide is “lovely”?
Consider two safe words. One is like a yellow light and the other is a red light. The yellow light safe word would mean something like “slow down. I don’t like what’s happening right now but we can keep going with less intensity” while a red light word is “stop right now”.
Sometimes people aren’t enjoying it but don’t want to use the safe word and make it all come screeching to a halt. They just want one particular activity to stop while the sex continues. This is where a slow down word come come in.
Two things:
Get therapy. Not in a rude way, but like, this level of insecurity means you won't ever be able to have a truly fulfilling relationship. You'll greatly benefit from it 🙂
Take the challenge, dude. Make her cum more. Get better at sex. Give better orgasms. Be an attentive lover. Make her forget the other dude. Don't do it with the mindset of “I'm gonna beat this dude!” Because that's cringe. But, use it as an excuse to step up your sex game.
My advice? Read books. Read erotic books by women. Straight up, I got better at sex after I fell down a rabbit hole of fantasy erotic books bwahahah. I was just made aware of the small things that I may have missed that turned me or my husband on and I naturally just felt more in tune to my body. Porn sucks. It's fake. At least when you read, you're not seeing people act. You're just imagining what's being said.
I think the difference is your husband is working which is for the benefit of the family not just off on holiday and you probably knew this was how it was going to be.
Also you are tough as nails looking after two young kiddos on your own allot, I tap out after a day
And what if he sues her back for defamation? Arm chair lawyer. We don’t even know where this is. You’re talking out of your ass
This would be beyond my comfort
“She believes relationships can evolve and change from romantic to platonic..”
This also works in reverse. Ex's are ex's for a reason, but they also dated for a reason.
I'm sorry, but I wouldn't be comfortable with this, talk wth her again, and hopefully, she can understand and give your feelings more resurrect than a tired reversed platitude.
It doesn't matter what anyone here thinks is cheating if your partner has that boundary for cheating then it is.
His therapist is wrong. To open a relationship the relationship you are in has to be rock solid before opening. You are no where near that. Are you sure his therapist actually said that and your bf isn't twisting things? If his therapist actually said that he needs a new therapist.
Now for the past bf. Again you didn't cheat unless that was a boundary for your ex. And your bf doesn't know if it was or not. Honestly since you never talked to your ex about you doing this you don't even know if he would consider this cheating.
Anytime you get into a relationship boundaries should be discussed so this doesn't happen.
But he now doesn't trust you. I don't see a way of fixing this. I would recommend couples therapy but this relationship is so new that would be silly. I I don't know how much good it would be.
Might be best to chalk it up to a lesson learned for the next guy.
Wow your poor wife, I sure as hell wouldn't of taken you back and the women down the street would of lost a few teeth.
If you really have to message her. I'd say
I'm sorry you feel that way, but it was never anything long lasting or deep, I was never going to leave my wife, she is the one I love and want, I hope you feel better soon, sorry for my part.
Send that. Its not hurtful per say and would help her relise what she was thinking and feeling about what you was, isn't actually what you was. And then block her number
But I honestly don't think you can cheat in someone you love.
Just hope one day your wife values herself more than to stay with a guy who cant even walk the dog without fucking the neighbour.
He is basically saying: “how dare you have boundaries! The only boundaries that matter are the ones I care about.”
OP, dating is about finding people with compatible morals and boundaries. It sounds like he doesn’t respect your boundaries and is trying to make you feel guilty about having emotions.
Sometimes relationships just don’t work out. I learned the hard way that a relationship that you have to fight for alone, isn’t a relationship worth fighting for.
Relationships are us against the world. Right now, it sounds like your BF and his ex against you.
I don’t want to say “leave him” because that is thrown around a lot. But my experience when I was in your position was that clinging to the relationship turned me into someone I didn’t want to be and in the end none of it mattered.
I wish that I had the fortitude to end that relationship years sooner than I did. It took me years to recover from that pain and to find the man I would eventually marry.
Don’t let him or anyone else ignore your boundaries. It isn’t jealousy to have boundaries. It is normal and human and how we survive in society.
Don’t read his letters. To have them returned, they must be unopened.
He’s being super manipulative.
Because it’s not the type of medicine you’d just have, it’s not routinely given. I know it’s from my surgery, he has never had surgery.
To try to clarify – These were loose pills in a box I thought had a duster in it. No duster was found, just pills. There’s zero reason for loose pills to be outside of the pill container, which was nearby. I understand keeping “leftover” medicine if it’s not all used in recovery, that’s not the problem.
The problem is I found my prescription medicine in a box randomly for no reason.
So then you told him the problem is at work- does that mean you told him the problem is the woman at work? Either yes, which would mean you ARE subconsciously trying to make him feel guilty about talking to her. Or else you just told him you have a problems with him talking about work with no explanation so now he’s just confused about why him talking about work makes you jealous and upset. Either way not a good look for you.
Relationships are all about compromise. Sounds like your compromising more than she is. Ive dealt with my fair share of mental health issues (depression, extreme anxiety) but i never lost sight of the bigger picture. I never stopped considering the woman who gave me enough grace and encouragement to fix myself. Just be straight…. tell them how you feel, make it clear you support them, but dont be afraid to express that you feel neglected. If they try to guilt/gaslight you into feelong unreasonable, counter with “my feelings are valid, i dont appreciate you invalidating how i feel because it suits you in the moment just because i want to spend time with someone i care about”
He has breached your trust and you possibly don't feel safe around him. If it were me, we'd be done after this or, at the very least, take a huge step back in the relationship.
To be honest, I'd start getting my exit strategy ready and I'd not be in the house at all when he woke up. I think this is the end.
How are you in the wrong?
Flirting with other people while you’re in a relationship is not okay. That’s your prerogative. You’re allowed to be upset by that.
It sounds like you’ve been gas lit here. Tell them you don’t like it and don’t apologize for standing your ground.
And don’t buy that “just playing” bullshit. It’s always just playful until it isn’t. That’s how cheating works.
Doormat alert.
Why are you asking if something is wrong with you, when something is clearly wrong with him? You can't “perfect wife” your way into reforming an asshole. All it does is give the asshole someone really nice to treat like shit.
Nobody is this stupid. This has to be fake
I mean you'll give the world to her, but she ain't gonna give the world to you. Sorry, but if she can't change this, she is not going to save you in a life of death situation lol
What were the issues that led to your breakup?
This isn't classism, but if im paying $100+ for even a simple dinner out these days — im gonna be pissed if some joker is stinking and covered in grease or dirt.
It's disrespectful to the restaurant and the staff that has to clean extra after you, it's disrespectful to everyone else trying to be in nice atmosphere and enjoy an expensive meal out.
Why would you tolerate this? Get a better partner. This guy is an AH.
i understand this perfectly, i need alone time too. ultimately you have to communicate that with a more anxious-attachment style partner, and it eventually gets better and they get more understanding of your boundaries and needs.
if they don't, that's a sign they're not for you. i once had a guy scream at me to the point where i cried in front of thirty people because i didn't text him when i left my office at work. that's NOT what you want this to come to.
When I'm bored I watch baseball…is there some baseball Tinder team I missed?