I have a rule of thumb that I might possibly forgive a drunken moment in context. The context is most important though. It's that the relationship had gone on long enough for me to have invested in it past the point where forgiveness deserves consideration, that the cheating is immediately admitted to and honestly regretted, and that the regret is genuine enough to persuade me that it's a singular event that won't happen again. It's all dependent on the situation, but I would struggle to forgive and forget even with those conditions. You haven't been together long in the grand scheme of things, you weren't told you found out, and now her regret is clouded by whether it's regret at losing you as she should or regret at what she did. Is she sorry she did it or sorry at the outcome? One is some small measure of return for the pain caused, the other is selfishness. I don't think this would pass any of the conditions I expect to reach forgiveness.
Yes. I almost did. Living with rushed & infrequent sex, wandering eyes,emotional disconnect will wreck your mental health. If he's a good guy, he'll go to therapy.
You said bad things to your family about the guy you're dating and now they don't like him. He doesn't want to go deal with them because he can tell they all have a poor opinion of him.
Have you also been telling them good things he does in the same frequency? If all they hear are bad things of course this is the result.
If he doesn't do good things then they are right to dislike him, just because that's also an option and in this case they should keep telling you to leave him.
this was just a one-time slip-up that I hope will never happen again
Honey, you are grieving. You will always be grieving. It is OK that you cried. Stop comparing her recovery to yours. Claire loves you, and you love her. Claire and therapy helped you in the past. To keep things good with Claire, you have to take care of yourself. Go back to therapy.
Yeah I will
I have a rule of thumb that I might possibly forgive a drunken moment in context. The context is most important though. It's that the relationship had gone on long enough for me to have invested in it past the point where forgiveness deserves consideration, that the cheating is immediately admitted to and honestly regretted, and that the regret is genuine enough to persuade me that it's a singular event that won't happen again. It's all dependent on the situation, but I would struggle to forgive and forget even with those conditions. You haven't been together long in the grand scheme of things, you weren't told you found out, and now her regret is clouded by whether it's regret at losing you as she should or regret at what she did. Is she sorry she did it or sorry at the outcome? One is some small measure of return for the pain caused, the other is selfishness. I don't think this would pass any of the conditions I expect to reach forgiveness.
Have you seen his face or video chatted with him?
Yes. I almost did. Living with rushed & infrequent sex, wandering eyes,emotional disconnect will wreck your mental health. If he's a good guy, he'll go to therapy.
You said bad things to your family about the guy you're dating and now they don't like him. He doesn't want to go deal with them because he can tell they all have a poor opinion of him.
Have you also been telling them good things he does in the same frequency? If all they hear are bad things of course this is the result.
If he doesn't do good things then they are right to dislike him, just because that's also an option and in this case they should keep telling you to leave him.
this was just a one-time slip-up that I hope will never happen again
Honey, you are grieving. You will always be grieving. It is OK that you cried. Stop comparing her recovery to yours. Claire loves you, and you love her. Claire and therapy helped you in the past. To keep things good with Claire, you have to take care of yourself. Go back to therapy.