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Date: September 24, 2022
It got really bad. I guess I found it weird since I don’t have a relationship with her and I haven’t seen her since I was 18 and I’m now 25
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You bf probably got porn addiction, it's pretty bad and can get to extremes quickly. Plus the bad habit of lying is the worst thing for a couple :/
I guess you could try to confront him directly ? And you should probably try to cure his addiction with him
Codependent relationships can improve and change, with concerted effort, understanding, support and awareness.
Unfortunately, if only YOU want change you can only change your perspective of your partner rather than changing the person.
I would consider sitting down with your partner and explaining your feelings. Also outlining division of labour and at the very least setting aside what your time is to recharge and refill your cup. Whether this means, doing activities witt a local group who enjoys them too or doing them solo.
Once your cup is being refilled, there is a better division (better but it won't be perfect) of labour and you have some awareness of your codependency you can sit down together again. Explain your thoughts on seeing a therapist and raising your concerns of Codependency.
Unfortunately, if your partner won't actively change to support your own time and hobbies, and won't engage in conversations and action to more fairly divide labour and also won't go to therapy. There isn't much you can do, and it definitely isn't a “good” relationship.
There is a great comic called The Mental Load. Everything you are describing falls under this.
I would be reconsidering this whole thing. So she previously kissed him while you guys were dating, right? You’ve communicated your thoughts and feelings to her. To me any person that respects you and the relationship, would understand the situation and do what works best for the relationship. It doesn’t seem like she respects you.
You’re feeling remorse for hurting someone, is this a new feeling for you?
Learn not to let your dick get ahead of your brain.
OP got a goldendoodle from a puppy selling website.
You have no choice means she already has the new guy. The only question is if she has already had sex with him or is waiting for this conversation to ease her guilt. Her change in behavior was the beginning of the affair. You need to see a lawyer ASAP. No rug sweep, no pick me bullshit. Good luck
OP is trolling
Girl he broke up with you, he obviously don’t want to speak to you otherwise he would have
i'm 37f and i have dated two guys in their 20s lately. both were lovely in terms of being passionate about things, and we had a lot in common when it came to hobbies, senses of humor, and cultural interests.
but there was definitely a maturity component lacking with each guy that made itself apparent relatively quickly. they over-drank instead of coping with problems. they didn't have perfect communication skills and resolving minor conflicts was annoying because they just didn't have the tools or perspectives needed to reach common ground.
compatibility can be there, mutual interest can be there, and there can even be an even power dynamic in age-gap relationships. but typically the maturity and life stage / life experience differences do come into play.
Dude she got lip filler in 2019 everyone saying she has to disclose lip filler she got 3-4yrs ago is ridiculous. Shes been with this guy less than a year, it’s irrelevant. He never said i need you to disclose every cosmetic procedure: he said i don’t like the fake look. Good cosmetic procedure don’t look fake. Do Blake lively, Katy Perry, Cindy Crawford, gwyneth Paltrow, Kaley Cuoco, Lisa Kudrow, etc etc etc all look fake or amazing? Yes there is kardashian level cosmetic surgery where everyone knows you’ve had it done but thats obviously not OP’s goals. All these comments remind of when guys compliment me like “i love that you don’t wear make up” i am wearing make up you just have no idea what you are talking about.
Kind of yeah lol. I'm obviously not saying I think it's bad that he doesn't see me as a sexual object…but I just always believed that's how nearly all men saw women and reacted to them, so it's confusing. Sounds ridiculous I know but I'm just being honest
I hope for his sake he gets some therapy and maybe one day can move on from this, since it sounds like its rooted in trauma rather than an actual desire for that life. But it's not your job to deal with it, that's his problem and it's his choice. I hope you find the right guy for you quickly ? no point mouring too much. You'll both move on to a healthier relationship respectively.
Oh my god, you selfish coward. What you are saying is basically: 'I don't want to marry her, but I am comfortable with wasting her time til I find someone I want to marry'. Break up with her and let her build live with someone who deserves the love she gives them
? I personally wouldn’t give a duck because bros paying for it
So if the place is not pretentious at all, what's the problem in asking the chef to make the meal a bit more spicy?
There is no problem. BF wasn't aware that modifications wouldn't be made at that restaurant and was given red pepper flakes. Problem solved. OP is still embarrassed for whatever reason, and BD dismisses her feelings. That's the problem
You've missed the point. I'm questioning OP's reasoning in getting embarrassed by her boyfriend asking a Michelin starred chef to spice the meal up. He likes it spicy, the meal wasn't going to be spicy, what is the big deal?
The big deal is that it's behavior she doesn't like and is something they should be able to discuss together. He brushes it off. That's the big deal. Perhaps the resolution is that OP learns to accept his behavior, but brushing off her concerns is the problem.
Well, OP's boyfriend does, and we don't know the circumstances in which they found themselves dining in such a fancy restaurant.
He can't be that bright. He can go somewhere else (probably cheaper) and mix and match and get extra spice and whatever else he wants. OP is allowed to have her idea of what a fine dining experience is as well, and it sounds like BF just doesn't want to hear it. She's certainly NTA
You should definitely run from this guy.
The thing that i guess, bothers me now, is that there is no way he thinks/hopes for something more when he was the one that told me that he does not share the same feelings and only sees me as a best friend when i told him i liked him. So in a way, i think to myself “who does he think he is to be bothered and have that type of reaction when i talk to other guys, if he's the one who rejected me in the first place and said multiple times he's not interested in anyone?”.
But you are totally right, it's the right thing to do.
holy shit that's so cool!!
You married an Alpha Widow. Get out and move on.
I think you need to re-read the post. He states that he knows it’s insecurity, and he’s trying to get over it. That’s why he’s asking for advice…
You don't have to list a litany of his bad behaviors for people to be able to tell you that if you're unhappy you probably need to leave this relationship. For most any one of the things you've reported here would be adequate justification to break up. Not that you need any justification to end something that's not working for you.
My dad did something like this when I was about 1. He left to travel the world for 2 years 🙁 Was not good for me at all. My mum and dad were all ready divorced by this point, but it did piss my mum off big time. He came back every few months and sent me postcards, but because I was so young I kinda never had that bonding with him. Your wife clearly needs some therapy. If she goes off for more than 2 weeks your daughter will feel awful. I'm sad for you and your child.
What brand do you use that is so good you think no one can tell?
>he and I was messaging each other in a flirty way when he was in a relationship (that I didn't initially know about, but he didn't actively try to cover either).
That's who he is.
Tell him you don't want him to be a father of your children. Tell him you don't see yourself getting married for another ten years, and then probably not to him. State it as the plain fact, the way you did in this post. At the worst, he pushes back and you break up. At the best, you'd have him as a non-serious boyfriend for a couple more years until either of you meets someone new.
Honestly? Sounds like hes setting you up for financial abuse.
Clearly you should help him out by reinstalling tinder and bumble, then using them to find someone better.
!RemindMe 2 weeks
And either her mother gives you back your console or you involve the police. Fuck that bitch. She doesn't respect you in your own home and she needs to gtfo.
Is the wife even into women?!
No, I don't think it was guilt because she kept the messages and remained in touch with him. That really doesn't sound “3 years of guilt every day”
I thin she got incredibly worried/paranoid/terrified at that moment you asked specifically about this guy and maybe felt you were going to look into things more and that made her confess.
Enjoy being single soon you broke boy.
He knows you don’t like it. He’s mean to you on purpose. You can’t get through to him – he understands perfectly well and makes an active choice to be mean to you. Is this what you want the rest of your life to be?
It made the guest feel unwelcome, probably, that he was rude. It’s not hard to look at someone and say hi, sorry I’m not feeling well, I’m gonna go lie down, have a good time.
I was thinking the same thing. This is way too ridiculous to be real.
Two things:
You also stated, that “you love her”. After 4 months of relationship that's a bit early to say.
What needs to be considered:
Sometimes girls “try on” ideas of moving in with someone or even actually marry that person.
To see how that feels. And to see if it would be a fit. Or not.
I once scared a guy witless by telling him a dream I had had: moving in my furniture in his apartment and being at a loss where to put it.
It was a mere dream. I didn't even like it. It stressed me out because things dear to me in that dream didn't fit in at his place.
Needless to say it didn't work out for the both of us.
Wether it is concerning… Idk.
People being that quick in considering marriage so early on may have their own reasons.
Which sometimes are not emotional or relative to the actual qualitiy of the relationship.
So take care.
Give it time.
The question was if I should tell them and the person who I’m talking about we are very close so I have to spend time around them. I was wondering if anyone else found it strange and if not I’ll just leave it alone. You wouldn’t like to know if someone could be lying to you?
The fact that people are putting gay porn on the same level as scat porn is… disturbing, to say the least.
Just leave it be and start fresh.
I don’t deserve someone who has to sleep around to realise he actually misses me and likes me.
You're mistaken. He's not coming back because he 'realized he misses you and likes you'. He's coming back because you're letting him.
He wanted to fuck this girl so he dumped you and fucked her. Now he wants the convenience of having you around until he comes across another girl he wants to fuck. Rinse and repeat.
Also, this 'he wants to take things slow' bullshit. What does that look like? What is he asking for? I'm betting it's going to look a lot like him behaving as though he's single while you sit around waiting for him to toss you some crumbs.
Do you understand how out of proportion his reactions are? Even if he 'doesn't feel heard' (which I doubt, you seem to be overly attentive as a result of his tantrums) none of these events are worth this level of angst. He's teaching you to ignore a reasonable and sensible fear of violence and you should refuse to learn it.
Every day i see this on social media
You're in the right to feel the way you do. He also has the right to have a hobby. People need a healthy outlet, but 30 weeks with him refusing to miss no matter what is pretty unreasonable and selfish. I hope y'all can find a balance. Maybe every other week you each have a night of the week to yourself to pursue your hobby and y'all trade off week to week? I don't know, but I definitely sympathize with you and I don't think you're being unreasonable to feel the way you do.
Life is short and everyone deserves happiness. But before moving on, please end things in your current relationship before pursuing another. The damage of moving on to new business before concluding old business can be very painful for all those around you, so if this is something you both want then you both need to end your current relationships first.
She is unable to move out because she is not paying anything close to the going rate for rent.
She is a guest who may be contributing a bit to the family that houses her.
You talk about what you would do in this situation. Have you ever been in this situation? Have you ever hosted someone in your home because they needed financial support?
If he's really into that scene, he will find monogamous sex boring. I'm not saying YOU'RE boring, he's going to get bored with any monogamous sex. I'd move on and look for a man that doesn't need multiple people in bed at once to feel content.
People talk about not letting politics ruin friendships/relationships but they like to forget your politics are based off your core values. If you wouldn't date someone that thinks kids should go hungry why would you date someone that votes for people who do? If you wouldn't date someone that hates immigrants, women, etc. why would you date someone that votes for people that push policies against those same people?
Your politics are who you are.