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Languages: en
Birth Date: 1986-09-19
Body Type: bodyTypeCurvy
Ethnicity: ethnicityWhite
Hair color: hairColorBlonde
Eyes color: eyeColorBlue
Subculture: subcultureGlamour
Date: January 1, 2023
And if he decides to be stupid and do it make sure you have naloxone ready.
It’s kinda controlling. How would you feel if your boyfriend asked you to wear a top over your bikini if there was a guy who was interested in you present?
Your boyfriend saying no should be enough, if she continues that’s literally harassment and his other friends should be speaking up and telling her to fuck off.
It’s not ok for a man to do it to a woman, and it’s not ok for a woman to do it to a man.
Why is he not blocked ? WTF just walk away
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I was a victim of SA, as well as many other types of abuse by people in my life who were meant to protect me.
I wish I had someone like you when I was going through that. It might have made a big difference. I didn't get my person until after I was able to leave that situation. My person has stood by me and done the things you have. And I can't be more grateful for him. But I had to put in the work too. I had to do my share of healing myself and working through things.
I hate saying it but you are a DOORMAT for her. She don't respect what you do for her. She hasn't had to earn your care or trust. You give her the attention, and care, understanding and love, every day constantly. So she don't realize what she is getting.
Bob only gives it to her occasionally, so for some strange reason she thinks he does more for her. It also could be because he isn't her bf, so he isn't expected to do those things, but you are her bf so she expects you to act that way, and therefore doesn't see it as you being there for her, because she is entitled to that as being your gf.
My advice, is cut it out. Don't be there and be a doormat for her anymore. Stop caring. Honestly move on without her, let Bob be her person, since she seems to think he is already.
You don't deserve to be treated this way. Find someone who will appreciate you.
It is hard to self reflect sometimes, especially if it helps us reveal some things we find difficult to accept. This is why change is difficult.
Although the decision to leave a 4 years relationship to a guy neatly twice your age seems like a bad idea. You ultimately did and should realise that there was something missing from that relationship.
Until you realise what it was in order to deal with it in future you might realise the same thing again under different circumstances.
There's no right or wrong answer, but I don't think attempting to rekindle a relationship just because he seems like a great guy is a good one. I'm sorry to say he deserves better than being second best. But you also should realise that those reasons to leave might come back in the form of someone more suitable for you.
Being friends with exes or people you've slept with is totally normal to me. The past is the past. If you like his friends then I dont understand what it changes. The root might be why you don't retain friends if it ends up not working out romantically. Also, if I'm not dating anyone I'd rather make out with a friend than a stranger.
As a guy who has been on the receiving end of what you've described, please leave him the fuck alone. He deserves better and you're making it impossible for him to move forward if you're still in his life.
His change won’t last the pregnancy. Ask your self. If he was out of the picture what would you do. And then do that, because sorry to say your are on your own so you need to start making decisions that are in your best interest. If that means abortion, adoption, getting in contact with family for help, seeking support agencies, do those things. But do not factor his temporary change of heart into that decision, it can’t be relied upon.
Unfortunately she may want to tell him after in case he tries harder to stop her
I would emphasise the point about this could have had a serious impact on your child and their relationship with you.
Move on. Completely. Never look back.
Focus on the other aspects of your life and become the happiest, healthiest, and most fulfilled version of yourself.
You're still young, there'll be plenty of other opportunities for relationships in the future
Why are you with this guy? You would honestly be better off single. I would not want to be involved with someone who is unable to stand on his own two feet. I don't understand why you would want to be in a relationship with someone you would have to support the rest of your life. He sounds lazy and selfish.
I think you have been brainwashed or something because this makes no sense. You need to set the bar higher for potential BFs. Have minimum standards. The bar you have now seems to be underground somewhere.
I suggest you get a cat. It will cost less than this BF, not be as demanding as this BF, won't insult you, and will be more affectionate.
I wouldn't date someone as needy as he. He already has a girlfriend and friends. What else does he need
Just because you're thirsty doesn't mean you should drink poison.
That makes things a lot easier as far as leaving her. You deserve better.
No that's not what that means…he's saying let nature take it's course…if it's meant to be then you will get pregnant and if it's not meant to be then you won't. He doesn't want to force the issue but to let it happen naturally when it does happen..
This part. Reversible and less invasive than getting tubal ligation. After three pregnancies and births, it’s the very least HE could do. The burden shouldn’t be entirely OPs.
Ultimatums should never be used as a false threat, that I can agree on. But a hard boundary is definitely ultimatum territory
You’re right. I honestly do trust her it’s just that this is the first time ever she’s acted this way that’s why I feel so uneasy. She’s been so honest and consistent that’s why. I’m sorry if I’m coming off as immature but I just don’t know if this is something that needs investigating or not.
Ive been through this before, should have learned my lesson. Although I think personally it stems from my attachment as well. I was really into her and didn't want to lose her at all so I tried to rush her into something she wasn't ready to be apart of. Thank you
I totally understand you. A few years ago I met a man who had HPV (a form of warts) which is much milder than a regular HPV or HIV/AIDS. He invited me on another date that revolved only around this disease and allowed me to ask him all possible questions about it, he even told me how he got them. He was open and said that he understands how that might scary me away a bit. He was calm and collected the whole date.
Bare in mind that in my country such illness is very rare and HIV is almost none existent. Which means the stigma is huge.
I don't think he should blame you a lot, but be a bit more understanding. But hey, both of you were in a tricky and unexpected situation. Let the things cool off and try talking to him about it and if you have the need to apologize, apologize.
If it doesn't work out because of your reaction, it's alright. Life goes on as it went on before him. 🙂
The reason why people think the two of you are ND is because NT people often feel a reflexive dislike for ND people not because they've done anything wrong specifically but because the way they interact is off and it's unnerving for the NT. Are you sure you guys aren't ND? Not all divergence is diagnosed or even pathologised but it can be enough to put people off in social interactions.
Sounds like a shitty person. Not really worth it. The balls not even in your court.
Ideally you could communicate your feelings but it sounds like she's insecure and wouldnt be receptive
Get ready for this to go very south. She’s potentially going to find herself in the pants of some other dude.
Oh, they both sound kinda trash, but the storytelling is absolutely a deliberate thing. Is it all that's going on? Doubtful, but I'm commenting on the info provided so the ~14 downvote people can blow it out their ass, unless they'd like to supply more specifics for the situation 🙂
Like not done through the courts, no marriage license. No name changes, taxes wouldn’t be filed together, etc
This is really possessive. And it’s honestly going to seem insecure either way you go about it. And I’m sure you like plenty of men’s pictures as well and he seems to be fine with it .
I just said this and didn’t even read your comment lmao
Oh dear. I think you are obsessing over something that doesn’t need to be taken so seriously. The whole point of “social” media is to interact and be “social” with other people…men and women. This does not constitute disrespect unless she is crossing lines like private messaging inappropriate flirtatious or sexual stuff and that doesn’t sound like the case here.
Let me let you in on a little secret. Your behavior around this issue is going to drive her away and kill this relationship and any future relationship with a healthy person. Why? Because it reeks of you being a controlling, insecure, obsessive parent/school principal type figure. And no grown woman wants to be in a relationship with someone who is monitoring every click, action, or breath. You need to learn to calm down and trust her or any future partner to be in a healthy partnership going forward. If not, I feel you will be doomed to being miserable.
He's seems like a huge baby and you should tell him to get over it.
The streets are calling her and she is seduced by its clarion call. You need to respect yourself more. A great philosopher once said: “From the streets did she emerge, and to the streets she will return. And I say unto you, she is for the streets. So be not weary, when she must return from whence she came.”
Water must find its level just as your girl must find the streets. She belongs there. Exit this situation, quick.
i agree
No yeah like she didn’t even look and it’s not a money issue. She just doesn’t wanna be further inconvenienced
You’ve put up with these garbage people for way too long. A true partner stands with you against the world and James has been failing miserably. He has never stopped Sarah from bullying you and turning others against you. He stood by and watched you be treated horribly for YEARS by that bitch. Now he isn’t shutting down her blatant attempts to destroy your relationship. I’d get my ducks in a row then confront him on the way out to tell him what a weak coward he is. You don’t owe him any support.
There’s a chance she doesn’t know how to communicate deeper unsatisfaction in the relationship. Just throwing my two cents. If this is the case, it’s quite bad to be in a relationship with someone like this because it harbors resentment due to things not being communicated and argued about. And maybe it got so close to her limit that the new step-son situation pushed her over the edge.
I just want to say, if this is the case then you are not at fault. She is supposed to be able to have hard conversations about stuff she didn’t or isn’t liking at the moment instead of harboring hidden resentment and pretending everything is fine.
I had an ex who did this at least: in my presence everything was fine but from time to time she would explode with rage against me and it was always built up resentment about stuff she never talked to me with. In her last episode of this she used it as fuel to cheat on me and blew up our 4 year relationship. Everyone, friends and family, loved seeing us and our dynamic, so it came as a surprise to everyone. Needless to say she regretted it afterwards as she was making decisions based on emotional immaturity but by then was too late for me to love her again the same way.
One thing that kind of sucks is that, when someone causes you trauma, your brain will make you avoid anyone who reminds you of your ex. The problem is that these kinds of people come in all shapes, sizes, and behavior patterns. So, he could come off as the exact opposite of your ex and still be an a abuser.
Whatever he is (and I think he sounds like an abuser), he’s definitely someone who needs help and shouldn’t be in a relationship now.
I think you would be perfectly entitled to choose to not host him in your home. You can also choose to not go to his home when your wife does but based on the history you may want to not leave her alone with him. If you do go it’s fine to be no more than polite.
You can’t tell her not to see him, he’s her dad.
Up to you if you tell him you know. I might do so, to explain why he will not set foot in your house.
Oh and 6 at 21 isn't that big of a deal unless its like all 6 in a month or something.
So you are ok with it?
Exactly
Well you didn’t take enough time to get to know your BF. Your son certainly hasn’t.
Maybe after a year or two if they clicked he should have moved in.
In your opinion it is not, but you are not the arbiter of relationship problems. For me, this would be a dealbreaker.
In your opinion it is not, but you are not the arbiter of relationship problems. For me, this would be a dealbreaker.
I don’t get why she didn’t tell him.
The moment it felt like a real serious relationship with potential, it should have been disclosed.
It’s his BROTHER.
Your fiance sounds insanely unreasonable. It isn't a big deal, you weren't cheating, and the only reasonable explanation for why your fiance might feel like that is if she's insanely puritanical and only has sex to procreate or something.
It sounds like she expected to gatekeep sex from you, so seeing you getting yourself off might have unnerved her, since she realized you can just do that instead of waiting and pleading with her to allow you to have sex. It's an insanely toxic mindset.
If the positions were reversed, these Redditors would be dogpiling on you for trying to control her body.