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saraellis Public Chat Channel
Date: October 23, 2022
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saraellis Public Chat Channel
“We agreed to not sleep with anyone until we got a divorce just in case we worked it out”
There’s your answer. If you both in fact went into this separation both agreeing to this rule, then yes, she cheated.
Doesn’t really matter if she’s trying to wave it away with technicalities, this doesn’t seem like something you would be willing to overlook or work through. I have a feeling she’s trying to walk it back because she’s still undecided on what she wants and doesn’t want to face consequences.
If she is not interested in dating you, please don't take it personally and keep going! 🙂
It makes sense if it's about being playful and youthful. If the woman wants to fully take care of her busband likes he's a child, then to each their own. I would be highly upset if I had to keep telling my husband to do things that abt grown person should be able to do.
I know things may seem daunting right now but give Yourself some time to mentally reflect and accept this new journey. During this time it's best to put him in the back of your mind and concentrate on your new future. Prepare yourself for the possibility that he may never come around. But through this You will find so much strength and happiness you never imagined you were capable of.
I was 21, a full time college student with extended lab hours required daily and a part time job. I was told if I decided to have my son It would be on my own. We had the same friends and I saw him daily on campus with a big belly and he would completely look the other way. I did the entire 9 months alone.. I went to all appts alone, constructed all the furniture and prepared the nursery myself, morning sickness, midnight cravings, all while continuing to work and a full course load ending the semester 8.5 months pregnant with a 4.0. Yes it would have been easier to have the other person there but honestly I now cherish that time because it was so empowering and brought out a drive in me I didn't know was even possible. You don't want the stress and honestly if they don't want to be there it truly is their loss. You did your part trying to make him aware of the situation and that is all you can do besides file the proper paperwork later on. Surround yourself with positivity and peace and remember this could be the start of a beautiful new beginning. You got this!
I work in advertising and have a great job that pays well so I am able to be independent. I also have 3 friends from back home that live here.
Bro you're not the one who got knocked up at 20 in a one night stand. Her life is over, not yours. There are plenty of other women out there who won't cheat on you. Don't even think about raising that other man's baby.
The fact it upsets your BF and even makes his cousin walk off means this isn't just a casual thing but actual physical abuse.
I don't know what the advice should be, other than letting him know he doesn't need to be treated like that. And shame on his father for not stepping in too (pretty much all the shame to the mother obviously.)
People like his mother need to be shamed into changing their behaviour. They need that circle of judgement, the embarrassment and shaming from their peers.
That just feels like the right thing to do. She has told me that if I am anything but honest with her from this point out then we are done.
That's not true, they're only free on the NHS to limited categories of people.
Birth control isn't just the responsibility of your girlfriend. Wear a condom. If she doesn't want ti have sex with a condom then don't have sex. Tell her you'll trade oral sex then and skip the penis in vagina sex. Even if she goes back on birth control you should do this.
Your team is your WIFE!. Listen to her!
I had 3(?) Dates, he doesn't really know about. Less hiding them though and more me trying to figure out if I actually want relationships and all the stuff so I didn't tell anybody tbh.
I really think I want to ask him, were going to a winter lights show this weekend but I don't know how. Do I just wait until we have a hug moment and bring up “hey this is a lot of romantic type stuff, are we going that direction?” I know I've got to be the one to bring this up he won't, he knows I've got …some issues. Around relationships, but I've literally never asked someone out.
This generation is soft. She got spanked bc she did something wrong. Get over it.
OP, you don't want help or advice. You want validation. This isn't the sub for that. You refuse to communicate with your gf but have a weird “I shouldn't have to keep it a secret” about the gifts you got your ex. It's wild. Your comments are wild. I think you are obsessed with your ex and should be single.
The thing about that is a lot of people at work know we're sleeping together already. They just aren't friends with the bf. So no one has told him. So I don't think anyone would really be surprised if he found out.
Thank you for the kind words, the honest answer is that everybody runs into situations that they're not experienced with and can use some advice, it isn't always a selfless thing though as sometimes it helps with my anxiety, so if I can help, great! If I cannot, then I likely learn something from the other comments and form my own opinions/approach off of what I've learned.
I hope she does for both of your sakes as it seems you've learned her struggles and see it through a different perspective. Some mess as she faces depression, isn't worthy of a fight. If this is a normal point of conflict (unsure), you could always recommend a once a month cleaning service, many places have normalized them.
I look forward to the update and hope your therapy goes as well as your optimistic attitude! Do your best to get some rest and try to stay positive, thank you for the best wishes, and happy holidays!
Yup, I feel the same way. This isn't fucking 1860 for christ sakes. Yelling off your damned balcony.
That’s not how any of that works ?
If none of the things made contact with his body and injured him, no. It's definitely abusive behavior, but he can't really press charges against her if he's uninjured. Especially since he abused an animal in the scenario.
Every comment here is conjecture or opinion, even OP's. That's how this works. Thanks for clarifying you're either 12 or have never had a lasting relationship.
And I'm not planning to ever remarry after the divorce
Stop hanging out with them so much, let husband go by himself.
I am sorry. That would be so rough to recognize as their kid. Hugs.
You absolutely are overthinking, and you should rethink your toxic ideas about bi people. Being bi does not make anyone more likely to want to randomly explore outside of a happy relationship, nor does it make cheating more likely. If you’ve been happy together so far, that’s all you need to think about.
I’m a bi woman and I’ve never been with a woman outside of a few dates, and I just don’t think about what it might be like, because I’m happy with my boyfriend. The only difference is sometimes we talk about how some girls in video games are super cute, or discuss previous girl crushes.
That's right
I understand the frustration. I've always been the jealous type, since I have anxiety, and I view it as one of my ugliest toxic traits.. So I bottle it up, which honestly makes it worse lmao. It's a lot easier when you can just talk about it, but even with the reassurance it's always gonna make you a little uncomfortable when someone hits on your partner, especially if they're being disrespectful about it..
Why? You'll not get a single straight answer from him. All you will get is gaslighting to try to make you feel guilty. Just pack your shit and leave.
Why confront? Send him a wonderful break up text and tell him off or leave him a message on his social media so everyone can see it. Block him and delete him and ghost him, and make sure in either case to get tested for STD'S. He's just a PAB, so treat him as such.
Your dad made you feel like a burden because you are one. He was absolutely correct about almost every point he made. Grow up act like an adult work out public transport to and from work or use a taxi service. Better yet move out and stop being a burden. If you work an hour away your dad had to give up a minimum of two hours of his time and money to chauffeur you home that is burdensome!!!!!!
She is not saying that he has bad manners in general, she is saying that he isn't matching his manners to the environment. That's a completely different story. Even in OP's first example there's a world of difference between politely asking if it's possible to tweak the menu vs just straight up ordering the adjustments you want.
you make sure it's cooked the way you like it and the cook can go die mad.
Fine dining is about experiencing something new and potentially unexpected. Wanting the food to be cooked “the way you like it” shows a fundamental misunderstanding of what this experience is about.
Did they not give you the morning after pill when you went to the clinic/hospital after it happened? No way would I proceed with the pregnancy.
Exactly. Going raw when he knows she is not on birth control is not baby trapping, it's stupidity.
I think this is ok. You have been very available and can still be like hey we are friends and I like being your friend and supporting you but you can support me by having some outside interest beyond your current self inflicted trauma and limiting rants to 1 hr and sending cute emojis/max of 5 texts a day unless you having a real conversation. Text walk doesn’t count. Reading the room is a great skill to learn. I’m still working on it. I wish I had honest friends like you.
Yeah like I feel I am overreacting a little, given I’ve never been in a situation where I’ve needed a gun, maybe before we go out I’ll try to talk to him about how I’m feeling and see where to go from there
Definitely print the receipts of all the postings he's had on reddit and take it to a lawyer.
Your father in laws hand on your shoulder sums it up well.
All this, for a year and with such a climax, you are going to need time to process and heal, I highly recommend getting physical checkup if you haven’t already and get some therapy to assist in processing all of this.
That's right. Thank you!
That man’s gay as hail.
That man’s gay as hail.
You're not being “reasonable”: you're ignoring her very clearly stated plans – she's not leaving Ohio – and trying to pressure her to change them because it's what you want.
Break up. In the future, stop trying to change people to fit your desires. Accept them as they are or avoid them.
you dont. you seriously blew it.
For those Aholes downvoting:
I have been care giving for both my parents, while they died from cancer.
Comes a time when they could not eat anymore, but still could swallow/ drink that nutrition, described by their relative doctors.
It existed in 1994 (my mothers death).
And had been given again in 2017 (my fathers death). So you people… just hold it.
Where it replaces food in no way it may actually help a person who has intestinal problems and to whom processing normal food has become painful when passing through stomach and guts survive a bit longer. Because it is a caloric input that can not be gotten in otherwise anymore.
I just want to find out if the feelings are mutual, we talk and joke around all the time so that’s something I guess?
It’s so strange
Omg you know the answer, he's just trying to cover for himself. Stop denying it.
This is enough. You don’t have to justify decisions like this to anyone. You don’t have to earn your way out of any relationship. In fact, it’s incredibly mature to know that you’re seeking something that you don’t already have.
Let me reframe – her fantasies / kinks that she is not sharing may be more about her “being taken”, and “losing control”. Giving pleasure or taking control just might not be what she wants.
Not saying subs (in general) don’t care about giving pleasure.
He said yesterday he gets frustrated when it isn’t happening for him and the longer it goes on the more frustrated he gets. He normally doesn’t finish if we are backing up having sex the night before.
He is so so avoidant, so talking about these things make him pull away so much.
One question op needs to seriously consider: is there even an inheritance? Maybe her parents are way up in debt? Maybe they only appear rich because they have an unsustainable lifestyle?
Well… everything was fine until Thursday night. Then she went to a club with her friends and I didn’t really like it. Friday Saturday and Sunday her mom came to her house to spend the weekend with her and we didn’t speak at all and from sunday night she was a bit distant. From what i can understand she is feeling insecure and she doesn’t know if the relationship was a good idea. When we were talking about taking a break she kept telling me, though, that she didn’t want to break up and that she loved me. I’m just scared and confused, mostly at myself atp…
Forreal, what a lazy troll. Throwing a tantrum at the prospect of not being treated like a huge man baby. Hope gf leaves him asap and he has to do all his own chores himself.
he lives in 45 minutes for me
People commute further than that. Options are:
Catfish Married/In a committed relationship Shy is a massive understatement, the guy has agoraphobia, social anxiety, you name it
Just don’t hold any expectations and just take some time to think on what you really want. In the meantime, just do you. Have a night out with friends, take yourself out for some you time, do something different. I know you’re probably anxious and that’s normal. Your life shouldn’t have to be on hold though to wait for a response. I’d say the longest amount of time I’d give it is a week. But that’s MAX. If you don’t hear back, hit him back up and then you’ll get your answers.
?????????????????????
After 7 years… dude come on don't waste ur time.
Lol I only read the title but i would tell her to mind her damn business
And now the mom in me, hugs, it's hard so much judgment and advice that's no good. I found my kiddos. I was never able to have my own either. I will support which option you choose sweetie. ??????
WTF your mom is nuts. First off i think the second family thing is BS or your mom knew a lot of women who got cheated on and came up with some BS to tell themselves and others. Second your husband knew you weren't able to yave children and he MARRIED you and LOVES you.
You are literally arguing with everyone offering you advice… what was your point in posting? Validation?
Good riddance…
Hope you have an amazing, unforgettable wedding day!
You are doing it the wrong way
His association with choking might be with sinister motive, not for pleasure. Is he squeezing the sides of your neck or is he pushing down on your trachea? One reason why choking is pleasurable is because if you press down on the sides, it slows blood flow to the brain. Maybe explain to him how it's not only psychologically pleasing, but physiologically pleasing too. He probably just doesn't get it.
Take your pets and get out of your house/ foe the weekend he says he'll show up
He ran away with his gf at the time. I edited the post, sorry I don’t usually post anything on here
Lol no you won't always have to because it's bs. Leave him until he actually does the work and then decide. Cause my bet is that he'll just find someone willing to put up with it. It's 2023. We are no longer raising men and being their therapist. It's time for them to raise themselves if their parents failed. You shouldn't be teaching him MANNERS of all things. Parent teaching or not, this man has seen movies, tv shows, books etc he knows wtf manners are. He was choosing not to use them until you made it a problem that he had to care about.
Other than this we DO have a great relationship. We go out, we stay in, go on trips with his family, go to church together, and even volunteer together. He tells me he loves me every day and has always been good to me, he even defended me against his family when they were disapproving of my tattoo. He IS great but I’m worried this might be a dealbreaker for him.
I’m not saying this is OP’s case, but Is it really that abnormal to not want your gf dressed skanky? I’m talking about those “half naked / tits out” clothes that we all know exist. You don’t see me with my dick half out, why is it ok for the other gender?
I'm very sorry this happened to you. You're going to get a lot less sympathy starting out your post by calling her a cum dumpster though. So advice number one, other than time and therapy, is to stop using egregious sexist slurs towards the mother of your child.
What
That’s awesome that you’re practicing self care and trying therapy. Keep at that! It’s okay to take another year to yourself—However long it takes to learn to love yourself. You’re going to be with you for the rest of your life and issues like this need to be addressed so you can not only find and attract your Mr. Right but keep him. Again, in your current state, you’re easy prey for all the wrong people. Please take that very seriously and keep at it with the self-love for as long as it takes. It’s better to feel lonely when you’re working on yourself than it is to feel crushed and hopeless when you inevitably attract manipulative men and scare away the good ones. Keep at the self-care! It’s not always easy, so props to you. 🙂
Your relationship sounds over, it’s time to move on. I’m not trying to be mean, he’s telling you what he wants and it isn’t you.
Let me guess, they're close because their mother locked them up in an attic when they were kids and they had no one but each other and now they can't live without each other?
Jeez, this story hasn't just been done once, there are multiple sequels. All I will say is you're a better writer than V.C. Andrew's ghost writer!