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Santiyabril, 30 y.o.
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Date: October 6, 2022
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Why do you need to know that? If he wanted to be with you he had a chance and he would have took it. People usually don't just let things go away if they really want that. so let it go and if you want a relationship with a guy be upfront about it start it of good.
The problem isn’t that he gained weight, the real issue is that he refuses to go to therapy or to address problems fully.
The mature thing to do is to end things up. Believe someone who didn’t 10 years ago and is now in a very conflicted divorce after years of manipulation and emotional abuse. He is angry at you that people know how he behaved. If he was sorry, he would be angry at himself. He is not sorry that he treated you badly. He is sorry that people know. Let that sink in.
You should cut off all contact and if she broke up with you, she needs to put her pants on and not call or text you anymore. Look at how she’s making you feel, all confused and heartbroken. A person who loves you will fight for the relationship no matter what. Even if it’s long distance.
And you should have walked away – you are vile and digesting . Choosing a man over your daughter ? YTA
Do you specifically talk about your relationship with your therapist? They may be able to help you figure out what changes to make.
It's funny, I posted in your first thread that she probably wanted to see if the grass was greener without cheating, and to have the option to return to you with a clean conscience if it didn't work out. A lot of people are rightly concluding that's what she likely did and getting upvoted for it, but when I said it, I was downvoted for it!
I also posted in your second thread that if you agree to the break, you need to make sure you set the condition that there's to be no dating or fucking anyone else.
At this point, you must be feeling that you can't trust her. You should be feeling that, because even if she didn't try out some strange, she faltered in her commitment to you and you need to be wary of that going forward, if you go forward with her.
My advice at this point is to sit down with her, talk with her, and if you decide to give it another shot, ask her to hand you and unlock her phone. Explain that your trust in her is shaken, and that the trust needs to be rebuilt, and this is the start of that. Check her messages, conversations with friends, and see if it reveals anything about what she got up to the last few days. Or, if she refuses, take that as evidence in itself.
99.9% of this is rage bait, stop falling for it
I'm sure I'll be downvoted here but I think other commenters are jumping too quickly to 'leave him'. Your fiance is seriously mentally ill and needs help. You were willing to marry him, and this is we mean when we say 'in sickness and in health'. I'm not saying you can cure him, but personally I don't think you should walk out on him at this difficult moment for you both.
How is your wider network? Does he have friends? It might be worth talking to them and planning an approach, a small intervention from others might help him see that he needs therapy and maybe other medical help. For me, when I tipped over into full mental breakdown, seeing a doctor and a short course of antidepressants was enough to break the doom spiral.
And how about you, do you have friends you can talk to and draw support from? You probably feel very lonely without your usual teammate on hand at the moment. Be sure to take care of yourself, because you can't fill from an empty cup.
Good luck OP. This is a horrible time but it will pass. Wish you well.