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The best way to do deal with insecurity, at least in my experience, is to build an identity outside of your partner. That is to say, engage in hobbies and interests outside of them. It gives you a stronger sense of self, your virtues, and it can introduce you to other people and more support systems so you don't feel as emotionally reliant on your partner.
When you consider your partner everything you have, or one of the few good things, it's a breeding ground for insecurity. It's important to build yourself up so you enter a place where you're like, “I love them and they love me too. But also , I have my own existence and strengths and if that person decides to leave me, that's their choice I don't have control over.”
You ultimately need to trust your partner and yourself and start putting pieces into place to make things easier. It's also not fair to your partner to not trust them when they've given you no reason to not do so.
Keep your head up! I know the feeling but i promise it'll get better with confidence!
No, flip that around. You need to find a way to set enough boundaries so that you don't end up resenting her. Figure out what the minimum is that you need to feel respected, capable, happy, and go from there. Adjust as needed. But your boundaries need to be about what you will be okay with, not what she will be okay with. That would be her boundaries and would be up to her.
To put it mildly, it's a dopey idea. If he wants to “sow his wild oats” then he shouldn't be in a relationship. No OP, it's a REALLY bad idea. Don't compromise your own happiness. He's being immature. If he truly wants this say “we could open the relationship. However in saying this, I get to have sex with other people too.” If he says no, then you could say, “there's your answer. Commit to me, or we go our separate ways.”
If his thinking is that he fears he's missing out on things, you can always try other stuff sexually. Ask if he has any fantasies. Do you have any that you haven't told him?
If you can figure out how to “make” him get past his awkwardness, please let the world know, because you’d have a billion dollar idea, and every therapist on the planet would be out of a job.
This is who he is.
If you want a relationship with someone who isn’t awkward and introverted, you’re going to have to date someone else. The sooner you accept him for who he is, the sooner he’ll feel safe you.
I am a woman and not your bro. Some harassers do stop when told, because they don’t want to get fired / sued / arrested. If he doesn’t stop, she can always go scorched earth after the second incident. Though getting an attorney would be more effective than going after the guy on yelp.
Do you think it would be a good idea to inquire her mother? Next time I see her, just have a chat and bring up the movie series they supposedly watched the other day? and based on her answer go from there.
I want to believe she is telling the truth and not lose her but on the other hand my gut and body is telling me different.
He’s not a random person & also I did say I’m marriage and I can’t hangout
The best way to do deal with insecurity, at least in my experience, is to build an identity outside of your partner. That is to say, engage in hobbies and interests outside of them. It gives you a stronger sense of self, your virtues, and it can introduce you to other people and more support systems so you don't feel as emotionally reliant on your partner.
When you consider your partner everything you have, or one of the few good things, it's a breeding ground for insecurity. It's important to build yourself up so you enter a place where you're like, “I love them and they love me too. But also , I have my own existence and strengths and if that person decides to leave me, that's their choice I don't have control over.”
You ultimately need to trust your partner and yourself and start putting pieces into place to make things easier. It's also not fair to your partner to not trust them when they've given you no reason to not do so.
Keep your head up! I know the feeling but i promise it'll get better with confidence!
No, flip that around. You need to find a way to set enough boundaries so that you don't end up resenting her. Figure out what the minimum is that you need to feel respected, capable, happy, and go from there. Adjust as needed. But your boundaries need to be about what you will be okay with, not what she will be okay with. That would be her boundaries and would be up to her.
To put it mildly, it's a dopey idea. If he wants to “sow his wild oats” then he shouldn't be in a relationship. No OP, it's a REALLY bad idea. Don't compromise your own happiness. He's being immature. If he truly wants this say “we could open the relationship. However in saying this, I get to have sex with other people too.” If he says no, then you could say, “there's your answer. Commit to me, or we go our separate ways.”
If his thinking is that he fears he's missing out on things, you can always try other stuff sexually. Ask if he has any fantasies. Do you have any that you haven't told him?
It seemed like it was but she just liked his place better
If you can figure out how to “make” him get past his awkwardness, please let the world know, because you’d have a billion dollar idea, and every therapist on the planet would be out of a job.
This is who he is.
If you want a relationship with someone who isn’t awkward and introverted, you’re going to have to date someone else. The sooner you accept him for who he is, the sooner he’ll feel safe you.
You two don't seem to be a good match.
I am a woman and not your bro. Some harassers do stop when told, because they don’t want to get fired / sued / arrested. If he doesn’t stop, she can always go scorched earth after the second incident. Though getting an attorney would be more effective than going after the guy on yelp.
Do you think it would be a good idea to inquire her mother? Next time I see her, just have a chat and bring up the movie series they supposedly watched the other day? and based on her answer go from there.
I want to believe she is telling the truth and not lose her but on the other hand my gut and body is telling me different.
Lmao. He sounds deeply insecure. I couldn't stand dating someone like this.
Honestly, you don't want to deal with this your whole life.
Signed an engineer who beats her husband at pool and loves comedy shows…