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Date: January 7, 2023
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Yeah basically. If it’s meant to be she will break up with the guy. If not, move on.
LDRs are hard as hell, even for people who have been together for years in person. If you guys are both going through rough spots and the relationship is making that harder instead of easier, then you made the right choice.
What-ifs are just your brain messing with you because brains hate change.
The fact that you refer to being an adult who can communicate what you want / need as “spoon feeding” is exactly why you sound like an asshole.
He’s a liability to his own business. I wouldn’t want to marry someone like that.
Some guys will not listen.
My last experience was at a bar with my Nan for BINGO night. Mid 30,s with 3 kids. I’ve been with my partner for 17 years but never married. This guy was hassling me all night. Would not take no for an answer. I couldn’t step out without him being there.
His reasoning? Because I wasn’t wearing a ring, I must be lying.
He was super creepy.thank god I never saw him again.
I’ve given fake numbers a lot but by this age I honestly didn’t think it would be problem. Boy was I wrong!
Turning 38 now and men still pull it.
Please, if a lady says no listen. It’s not all men but it’s enough. It only takes a few to make a women feel unsafe.
I’d disagree on a couple points but agree OP should let her ex move on and needs to work on herself— and do it away from the person she’s already hurt.
Lots of people cheat because they have unhappiness/issues inside themselves (or their relationship, but in this case sounds like within OP). Yes, that means going for the rush and the good feelings, but people often pursue those good feelings because they lack the security to produce them from within a mature, stable, loving (but settled, and not as exciting) relationship.
In my opinion, it’s not even that committed, healthy relationships are unexciting. They’re a different proportion of excitement— the amount that’s sustainable while maintaining a good and stable life. But, a new relationship gives us a blank check to reinvent ourselves and be the self-improved version we were just too disengaged to become in a stable setting. People get self-defeating, complacent, even unaccountable in a long-term relationship— and sometimes our relationships involve dynamics that don’t work the best for us that seem like harder work to change than it would be to restart. Sometimes that might be true, sometimes we just rationalize our lack of desire to put the work in.
Also, self-doubt isn’t needed to make a relationship with some older creep trying to pick off people in existing relationships toxic. There’s a good chance part of what OP needs to reflect and work on (while not dating or pestering her ex) is whatever in her might have been susceptible to toxic flattery, manipulation, etc in the first place— in comments she says she wrote off or rationalized many red flags. She did that for some reason, and her life will be better and more stable if she investigates that. Healthy people stay away from people who do weird, creepy, or inappropriate shit (even if cloaked in compliments and flattery) in the name of getting their attention.
Also— ignoring the damage it would likely do to her ex if she got back with him, it’s also not healthy or respectful of someone you care about to let them compromise their own boundaries and well-being to try and give you a shred of the good feelings you want again that they’d offered you in the past. Learning to care about people in a mature way means recognizing when what you want with them would be unhealthy, even if it would offer you security or make you feel better.
It’s also not good for your own healing. If you seriously work on yourself, you will become someone who can be relied on even when a flirt/badboy/creep comes to push your buttons— if you give into shortcuts and disrespectfully-produced validation (like being with your ex if he took you back even if it hurt him), you might not get there in good time, and some people never do.
That said, OP, sounds like you’re correctly taking time for yourself to heal and work out what got you here on your own. Therapy, growth, self-development is all worth it. Commit and it will pay off.
I fail to see how your performance anxiety will reduce by taking meds that makes you a pornstar able to be rock hard for hours and cut off almost all refractory period.
I'd have performance anxiety getting off the stuff.
This isn’t even your final form.
And it isn’t her friends’ final forms either. A wave of divorces are on their way, op.
She's setting him up for failure. Because if she wanted to prepare him, she would explain why each step he made WAS WRONG.
Maybe your wife wants to be the only champion ? and doesn't want her son to be as good as she is or even beat her. This is textbook jealousy.
Don't be surprised when your son is 15 he will be bitter at the fact his mother gave him the impression he was excelling when he was actually failing.
Never go through your partners private conversations. That is a sure way to destroy a relationship. Just try and communicate with your partner!
I can tell a scam from an unhinged person and this case is the second.
Lol okay thanks narrow minded. I think it is more that he was always sorta prolife but never pushed one way or another because that would make him a hypocrite due to the high school situation but once the responsibility of the act was off his shoulders combined with his dad and some other friends he became a bit move vocal on his views. Him being prolife does not make him a bad guy. He isn’t prolife to the point of unreasonable like rape and health reasons. It’s more he’s against rape has a get-out-of-jail free card is wrong. I disagree. Like I said divorcing him isn’t going to change either of our votes.
Idk why she expects me to pay her monthly bill
because you keep paying, so stop paying.
I know you're commenting on the content of the post, but it was definitely written to sound like a Dear Abby submission lol.
I hope you don't smoke around your daughter.
Has she ever gone to therapy? She sounds like she could use help in the way she communicates things to you. I can relate with the helplessness in bad situation, it sucks 🙁
For one, you're both still kids and have absolutely zero reason to be engaged so young. I'm also not sure how you intend to transition to being an engaged couple when you still have to do what her Momma tells her.
You're criticizing someone on their writing skills when you wrote 'Who Noes?' It's 'who knows?' And maybe stop with the random capitalized words that don't need to be capitalized.
Im curious, if you were bi would he want you to live in an animal shelter or something?
He doesn't see it as ruining it. Just downsizing so it's more managable. The invitation are done and are being sent out today. Once again I will power through him being a stick in the mud. I know it's going to negatively effect our relationship but it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make. When I told our daughter I rented a church for her birthday she got so excited she wants a piñata at her party and she knew there couldn't be one in our house. I still have the feeling like I'm being incredibly disrespectful to my husband but I can't do another crappy birthday party in our house. Her third birthday was a disaster and it resulted in one of the moms pushing me because she wanted more space to take pictures with her kid. My extended family still complains about her first birthday because the house was so cramped and hot.
What you got there is a hunting dog, she will follow that scent up a tree. Just avert her focus with a new scent and hopefully that scent will lead her out of state
She wants to work it out with her husband and you want infos on divorce? Newsflash, you cannot divorce at her place. It's solely her decision to make, not yours at all. And she made it clear she doesn't want it to happen. Also be careful with what you think you know about her relationship with her husband. You know only what she told you and she's the kind of person who has no troubles not only lying, but leading a double life. You want an advice? Get out of that hot mess. Seems to me she won't leave her husband anytime soon (if ever). Very much of her culture is surely internalized by now and if divorce is a big no in her culture, it most probably is a big no to her too. Also if family ties are above all in her culture (as far as I know, they usually are), she won't be inclined to relinquish her family for the sake of a new relationship. Her family liking her husband could create a huge mess if she leaves her husband too. On top of being looked as someone who broke their culture's rules she will be looked at as a woman who messed with another taboo: cheating on her “good” husband. And trust me, in those kind of cultures a male cheating is not comparable with a woman cheating at all. She knows all of that and that's probably why she wants to backtrack. Move on would be my advice. And avoid “dating” women who are in a relationship. It rarely turns out to be a good idea.
I just think there’s way too much imbalance between a teenager and a nearer to 30 year old than there isn’t. While I wouldn’t choose to date someone that young, there isn’t something wrong with a 26 year old and a 31/32 year old where there does feel something wrong with someone who was just in high school and a fully grown adult.
Also best advice to you is to just ask a girl what her schedule is like next week. Much easier, you’ll avoid the sorry can’t do that day, not that day either. Hopefully you’ll get a few days they are free then you’ll pick what’s best for you. Then especially with that layout if she still says im busy, well you have your answer haha
If you own the house you live in , do not leave! Talk to an attorney first, but in many states “abandoning” the marital home may give him an advantage you don't want him to have if/when it comes to the divorce.
You follow through with leaving ASAP. He hasn't *changed*. He could have been putting in this effort all along. He didn't want to and he didn't think you'd actually leave because you never did. As soon as he knows he's sucked you back in this will all go back to the same way it was. Because. he. hasn't. changed.
You sound absolutely insufferable. I had post partum preeclampsia and treatment for it was worse than giving birth. You overstepped at every opportunity you had, showed zero empathy or emotional intelligence for your DIL. Maybe you've forgotten what having a new baby is like but that doesn't excuse your behavior. Make a sincere apology about what YOU did and back off. Maybe then you can have a relationship with your grandchildren and son. I wouldn't blame them if they still didn't want that though.
This isn't a chicken or egg situation. At one point in the past, it was the first time they made that joke.
You could both be terminated. Tread carefully. The court handling your gf's case will likely have a victims' advocate. I'd ask the attorney on her case if you can be referred to one, especially considering they're asking you to keep your silence about the rapist.
You should have one extra box beyond the number of cats you cat. (#cats + 1) boxes. If you are changing your cats litter boxes then why does it matter if you doing those too?
That aside. If you feel he’s lazy, uncaring, unclean and checked out then you know the answer. Why are you dating and carrying him?
Give them a break,most redditors don't have friends or social lives. They forget that other people are a thing.